>Calamity POV<

I grumbled to myself as I sat cross legged, arms crossed, and blushing madly on Kidd's lap. He'd finally had enough of my struggling and sat me there with his large hands on my waist, holding me still.

Turns out, Kidd's a lot bigger than you'd think. I'm 5'4", and I hardly reach the base of his neck when sitting up straight on his lap, so I probably should have been more threatened by him.

Ha, yeah right.

"You're a butt head, you know that?" I said, looking up at him as his crew gathered and stared at me with shameless curiosity.

"Why're you blushing?" He smirked.

I stuck my tongue out at him, but one of his hands moved from my waist and he grabbed my tongue tightly with his pointer finger and thumb.

"Do not disrespect me," he growled. "Or you'll die."

"You aweady thweatened to kill me onthe, but hewe I am," I pointed out, the words coming out funny because of him holding my tongue.

"Tch!" He scowled, pulling sharply on my tongue, causing me to yelp before he let it go.

I smacked my lips and looked up at him. "Your hands taste like blood," I informed.

He ignored me and turned to his crew. "This very annoying girl will be our ship hand! She will clean our ship! Understood?"

"Yes, cap'n!" They chorused.

"She is not for any personal urges you may have!" Kidd continued. "If I find out that she has been raped, or anything related, the punishment will be brutal death!" I shuddered as many looked disappointed.

"Suddenly, I'm not as angry with you," I said.

"If that were to happen, I don't imagine you'd work as effectively," he replied coolly, smirking slightly.

"As long as I know I'm loved."

He ignored that, but seemed amused, so I counted that as a small personal victory.

"That's all, back to work!" He barked.

Immediately, the pirates scattered and Kidd released my waist. In a flash, I was off his lap and rubbing at my waist with a pained expression.

"That's gonna bruise because of your Death grip," I complained as I lifted my shirt slightly and saw the red handprints.

"You'll live," he replied. "For now," he added as an afterthought.

"LUNCH!" Someone yelled, causing the crew to head somewhere.

"Go eat, then you can get started on swabbing the deck," Kid ordered.

"Ya know, I hate being bossed around," I said, putting my hands on my hips as I gave him a sharp look.

He stood up and towered over me, and I realized that I barely reached the beginning of his chest.

"I'm the captain," he growled. "You do as I say."

"Yeah, well I'm stubborn," I retorted. "And I'll need to have a good reason to listen to you."

"I saved your virginity," he smirked.

"How'd you know I was a virgin?!" I cried defensively, blushing.

His smirk widened. "I guessed, you just proved I was right."

"You suck!" I pouted, looking away from him. I sighed heavily. "But in thanks, I'll listen to you. Just this once..."

"Go eat or starve," he said, dragging a tired hand down his face.

I stuck my tongue out at him again before giving an overly sarcastic salute and trudging off in the direction the rest of the crew had gone.

I came to a large, dirty kitchen, where some stragglers were. They watched like hawks as I walked over to where a pot and chipped bowls sat.

Looking into the pot, I saw a strange yellow substance. It bubbled and hissed, and I'm pretty sure it was trying to climb out of the container. I grabbed a ladle and poked it.

It growled.

Without a word, I took the slop off the stove and dumped it out the window.

"What're you doing?!" Killer, who had been among those watching, yelled at me.

"I'm going to make actual food," I answered, grabbing an apron- which was dusty and looked unused- off a peg in the wall. I shook it to get the dust off.

"Wait- you can cook?" He asked.

"More so than any of you," I smirked with a playful wink as I put on the funny chef hat. It fell over my eyes, causing me to laugh as I shifted it. "Now... OUT!" I brandished a cleaver at the wary pirates, who grumbled about bossy girls as they left the kitchen.

>Kidd POV<

"Hey, captain," Killer said, walking up to me.

"What?" I replied.

"That girl is weird."

I nearly smirked. "I figured that out by now. Don't tell me you're wasting my time," I growled at him.

"No, sir," he replied quickly. "I just mean... She just dumped the lunch out the window and said she'd make lunch."

I rose an eyebrow at him. "She can cook?"

"I guess so," he shrugged. "But she was putting on the apron and hat thing, laughing. She's just been kidnapped, shouldn't she be all upset or something?"

I rubbed my jaw with a scowl. "I'm not going to attempt to understand the female species, Killer."

"Good point, sir. You don't think she's planning to poison us, do you?"

"I'll look in on it. Get back to work."

"Yes, sir."

He left and I stood, going to investigate what exactly this girl was cooking.

Just as the kitchen door came into view, I saw a crowd of the crew looking through the round window in the hardwood door. Its no wonder why, the scent coming from the room was the most delicious thing I've ever smelled on this ship. Nevertheless, I growled, and they looked at me before scurrying off to get back to work.

I opened the door to be hit by that smell with a much more violent ferocity, causing my mouth to water.

That girl was chopping onions so quickly, I'm surprised she hasn't lost her fingers. She put the onions in a pot filled to the brim with a reddish brown substance.

I crept closer and looked into the pot. It didn't look anything like the slop we usually had. This looked edible and- even if I strained my ears- this didn't growl at me.

Not.

Once.

"What is this stuff, girl?" I demanded, making her jump.

"Jeez! It's chili! Don't sneak up on me!" She said angrily. "Anyways, my name isn't 'girl', it's Calamity."

I blinked. "Calamity?"

She smiled with bitter amusement. "Let's just say my parents didn't think of me as a 'Happy Accident'," she said, venom lacing her tone as she violently sliced and diced three tomatoes before dropping that into the pot and stirring it.

I leaned against the counter, trying to seem casual. "Where were they, anyways, your parents?"

She shrugged. "I dunno where exactly. They walked out on me when I was little."

"Who took care of you?"

"I did."

I blinked again.

"Hey," I said suddenly. "What medication did we leave behind?"

She tensed. "It's nothing...."

I rose an eyebrow. "Don't lie to your captain," I growled. She sighed.

"Well, I'm schizophrenic and insomniac."

"Insomniac? You were asleep when I woke you up."

"I hadn't slept a wink for five day before that though," she replied.

"And you..."

"Hear voices?" She provided. "Yeah, sometimes."

My curiosity was getting the best of me. "What do they say?"

She cringed. "The usual: 'You're not worth it'; 'No one loves you'; 'Kill yourself, or they'll get you first'; etc."

I hummed, feeling a slight pang in my chest. "And without the medicine?"

"They'll become more violent; I'll feel things, like bugs under my skin, things biting me, being stabbed. They'll tell me to kill people around me. I'll get even less sleep, which means they voices will be around more often."

Silence consumed us, an uncomfortable stretch of noiselessness. That pang in my chest grew more frequent. What did people call it? Guilt? Was the knowledge that me taking her from her home, without bothering to get whatever medication she may have, trying to make me feel bad?

Why was it working?

"It's not your fault," she suddenly said, still stirring the 'chili'. "You didn't know.... Anywho!" She continued, her voice becoming more chipper. "The chili is done!"

"Not hungry..." I found myself mumbling.

"Oi!"

I looked at her to see her hands on her hips, and agitated pout on her lips.

"I went through the trouble of making something edible for you! Show some gratitude and eat!" She said, shoving a large bowl of chili towards me. She leaned forward, smirking. "Or do you need someone to feed you?"

"I'm not a baby and don't tell me what to do," I snarled at her, snatching the bowl and stalking out of the kitchen.

Her melodic laughter made me freeze once out of the kitchen as realization hit me.

She'd planned that. Telling me what to do, knowing I'd get mad and stomp off, knowing I'd end up forgetting about that conversation and my guilt.

I hate being manipulated...

I sent a glare at the kitchen, but began to walk back up to deck. I lead against the ship rails and picked up the spoon in my bowl, taking a bite of the chili.

Countless flavors and spices hit my tongue at the same time, making me freeze, the spoon hanging from my lips as I stared at the food in awe. It was, without a doubt, the best thing I've ever had.

It was then that Calamity appeared on deck with her own bowl, a bold grin on her face as she shouted: "Hey! Go get your lunch, ya bunch of sea dogs!"

The crew moved faster than I've ever seen them to the kitchen and soon, the deck was full of happily eating pirates. For the first time, they seemed happy, chattering as they ate, and more than one complimented Calamity on the food, causing her to smile wider and blush brightly.

"It's nothing, really," she would say humbly, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Can you cook all our meals?" One of the crew mates asked as all in the immediate area said their agreements.

"Oh? Sure, if you'd like," she replied with a bright smile. "If you'll excuse me..."

She walked over and leaned against the railing next to me, which confused me. Normally, people avoided anywhere near me, but she just waltzed on over without a care?

I could tell the crew was thinking the same as me as they continually glanced in our direction. Calamity paid it no mind, merely continued to silently eat her chili.

"Your food will get cold if you don't eat, Kidd," she warned around her spoon.

I tensed, realizing I'd been staring at her for a while, then turned my attention to my chili and shoveled spoonful after spoonful through my lips to avoid answering. As I ate, the flavor was never less spectacular.

Finally, I'd eaten all my chili.

"Still hungry?" Calamity asked calmly. "There's extra in the kitchen if you are."

"No, this was plenty," I mumbled, not used to such nice behavior.... Even if she was a sarcastic bitch most of the time.

She nodded once and grinned at me, taking my empty bowl and putting it under hers.

"I'll take your dishes too, save time and energy," she explained, walking off.

A sudden urge to call a thanks after her made me open my mouth, but I clamped it shut just as quickly.

I am a feared captain. She is the cabin girl. I don't need to thank her.