Slacker 4 Lyfe
"Ready for our last performance together?"Jan said over the moaning and thumping. I smirked evilly while setting up my amplifier. Richie was on drums, Janis was on cymbals and I was on guitar. Electric guitar.
"Ready when you are."I said as Richie began hitting the drumsticks together.
"1. 2. 1, 2, 3!"He then began to bang on them as Janis loudly clapped the cymbals. I played the final countdown on guitar.
"ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!"We sang. The couple finally stopped. We then heard footsteps and the bedroom door of the next door apartment slam.
"Oh shit! They're coming! Hide the stuff."I said as we began to frantically hide the instruments in random places. There was banging on the door, Richie and Janis sat on the couch pretending to watch tv. I sighed and opened the door.
"Hello, Handsome."I smiled at him. He smiled back pulling the string of his robe tighter. We've met before but never knew each other's name so we stick to nicknames.
"Hi, I just wanted to ask if you could keep the noise down, beautiful."He said to me.
"Oh, so you heard it too? I was coming over to ask if you heard it."I tilted my head. He gave me a confused look.
"That...wasn't you?"
I shook my head."Nope! It's only me and my roommates here. That noise was unexplainably loud, right? It didn't even sound normal!"I laughed.
"That's the same thing I said! Only one person sounded good!"
"You're reading my mind! I thought the same thing! Do they do that every night?"I asked as I heard Janis stifle a laugh.
"Yup! Every night at 3 am."
"Woooow, so they wait until 3 in the morning to have obnoxiously loud sex? That is odd!"I leaned against my doorframe only to see his expression change.
"Wait, what?"He asked.
"Were you not talking about the loud moaning? The sex noises? Well, one of our neighbors has really loud sex. I might have heard this incorrectly once but I heard the man mention a horse."I said causing him to go red in the face.
"Yeah....that's weird. I-I-I uh never caught your name."He said to me.
"It's Bonnie."I smiled at him while I heard Janis wheezing quietly.
"Bonnie. Like Bonnie and Clyde. I'm Marc. I live next door with my girlfriend Angela. Sorry about disturbing you. Good night... I mean good morning! I mean......Bye."He quickly ran inside to his apartment. I noticed the apartment door next to it was cracked open.
"Hey, Toby."I laughed. He opened his door to show his smiling face.
"You are one funny girl."He laughed."So glad you're my neighbor."
"Well, I got bad news, Tobs... I got the job I told you about yesterday morning....."I looked down."It's a live-in job so I'm moving out tomorrow. This is my last night here."
"Wow. I wish we got to meet sooner then. I mean we should hang out soon."He smiled causing me to smile back. He's a sweet kid.
"Sure. I would give you my number but I don't know it by heart. So just give me your number whenever you want. Leave a post it on the door, give it to my roommate or whatever."I said as he chuckled.
"No problem. I should be sleeping, I have work in the morning."
"Same, dude."I smiled at him."Night, Handsome!"
"Good night, beautiful......And you're really good at playing the guitar."He said as we shut our doors at the same time. Such a cool guy. Janis and Richie both turned around to look at me. I'll miss living with Jan so much. The late night talks, the prank wars, the after midnight band practice. It's like having a sleepover with your best friend every single night. And I'll miss working with Richie. I remember when we first met. I was 18 and he was 17, we met at a college party and immediately hooked up. We were friends with benefits at first but I started to see how much of a doofus he was so I had to make him my best friend. Since we both seen each other naked, nothing is awkward between us.
"Who were you talking to out there?"Janis asked me as I locked the door back. I walked over to the couch and laid down between the two. My head in Richie's lap while my feet were in Janis'.
"Our neighbor, Toby."
"We have other neighbors?"She questioned. I rolled my eyes with a smirk. Janis rarely left the house or spoke to other people. Would you believe she works at Sephora? A place where you talk to people daily about different kinds of makeup and shit. She wanted me to work there but I don't know makeup all that much so I went with Richie instead. The only makeup I use is lipstick, mascara and eyeliner- that's it. I'm 70 percent sure that I can do monster makeup but Janis is crazy talented with makeup. Like she can change a person's entire face, it's like cheap plastic surgery without the knives.
"Yeah, I met him this morning in the elevator. Sweet kid."I smiled as Richie patted my hair. He loved doing that. Such a weirdo.
"Ohhh cool. If he's cute, introduce me."She said chewing on chips.
"Sure, Jan."I rolled my eyes.
"Bonnie! Tell us about your new job and boss!"Richie ruffled my hair. I groaned loudly.
"Duuuuuude, my room is big as fuck! My boss is just...oh my god, fine as fuck! But a little cold. His kids seem okay. His oldest daughter is a carbon copy of Cali. I don't know much about the other two yet. Hopefully, all is well tomorrow. I doubt I have to do much. It's two teens and a kid. What could possibly go wrong?"I said to them as they both responded with a shrug."Now, I say we get stupid drunk for my last night here!"
They cheered with me and went to get the liquid happiness.
"Yes! I've been waiting to get fucked up since noon."Richie said placing two bottles of Ciroc on the table.
"Wait you have work tomorrow. You can't show up hungover."I protested.
"Hungover? Many times I showed up drunk or tripping balls."He said causing us to laugh.
"I told you to stop fucking with those edibles."Janis poured out some into her glass.
"It was once. I never did it again since I had a bad trip."
"Same. That's when we were 20 and we both did it. I had a good trip but overall I didn't like it."I said setting up my shots.
"Here's to us and a long ass friendship!"Janis raised her glass as we clinked them all together.
"I love you guys."I smiled genuinely meaning it. I loved this two so much. They're apart of my family. I threw the drink into the back of my throat as it burned.
And that's all I remember from last night.
***
I was now in the Kane residence with a throbbing headache on a Friday morning. I woke up from the sound of knocking on my door. I was facedown on my pillow with drool leaking out my mouth. I remember the movers coming in at 4:30 in the morning but I was drunk outta my mind.
"Come in."I mumbled. I didn't even move when they came into the room. He cleared his throat and I groaned in response.
"Good morning, Ms. Sinclair. How are you feeling?"He asked me. Hmm, does feeling like a ball of shit count?
"Greeeeat. What time is it?" I lifted my head up to see the tall man at the foot of my bed. Instant headache. Oh god damn. How much did I drink?!
"Almost 11. How's the hangover?"He asked me causing me to sit straight up.
"W-what? I'm not hungover, I don't even drink."I panicked because I cannot get fired yet! Not until I get paid!
"Sure, but thank you for hiding it pretty well this morning. I know a hangover when I see one."This morning? Ohhhh, when I saw the kids. I completely forgot."Just don't make it an everyday thing."
"No problem, dude."I said placing my feet on the floor. Tossing my blanket aside I revealed my smooth legs and baggy boxers. Oh yeah, I don't wear pants to sleep. Never. But I have to wear pants around the kids. I stood up and stretched as Mr. Kane stared at me with his mouth slightly open. What's his problem?"Everything alright?"
"Your pant-"
"Ohhh, yeah. I wear boxers to sleep. Usually, I sleep without pants on but decided to put on something longer since I like live here now."I said as his eyes were still on my lower half.
"Killer legs but put them away when the kids are around okay?"He said.
"Fine, Mr. Kane. I'll try to contain my amazing legs."I smiled looking around my room to see all my crap finally organized. Give me a week and it'll look like a hurricane ran through. I grabbed my grey sweats from the foot of my bed.
"And what's with the pile of black suitcases I think?"He pointed to the pile of my instruments in their cases.
"Instruments."I put one leg in then the other. See, now I'm wearing pants. This is not comfortable at all. At least the boxers gave me more freedom.
"You play them?"
"I guess you can say that."I smirked. He nodded his head.
"You possibly don't play all of those? That takes years of practice. I would know. I play the piano."He said with a smug look.
"That's cute. I mean since I know how to play 32 instruments, the piano was an easy first. I was about...4."I one-upped him with a smile. He scoffed.
"Sure. You know how to play 32 instruments. I'll believe it when I see it."
"Hey, you know nothing about me. You just hired me without asking personal questions. Like dude, I could be a serial killer."I put my hands on my hips as I furrowed my brows. He put his hands into the pockets of his gray slacks with a smirk on his face.
"Well, are you?"He asked.
"Of course not. And if I was why would I tell you? That's serial killer 101: lie at all cost. Duh."I said as he chuckled.
"Do you really play 32 instruments?"He asked taking a seat in one of the chairs as I went over to unpack my stuff.
"Nah. I meant 33. I keep forgetting the triangle counts."I laughed.
"How did you learn to play them all?"He asked as I took out my drum kit. That question takes me back.
"My mom used to make me practice every day for 2 hours on any instrument of my choice. I didn't mind because I loved it. I used to compete and have recitals. Then I went to a performing arts middle school which I began to learn even more. I uh graduated from Laguardia high school."I smiled.
"You went to Laguardia? That's amazing. What about college?"
"I went to a performing arts college and graduated but I really needed a job so I ended up in retail and other stuff so now I'm here. Never thought I'd be doing professional babysitting."My curly hair was a mess as I scratched my scalp.
"Professional babysitting. That's funny. But I bet you want to get ready so I'll let you be. I'll tell George to make you breakfast. Don't worry, you won't have to steal it."He winked at me.
"H-how do you know that?"I panicked. Oh god, will he ban me from his kitchen? That's like a total nightmare!
"Do you really think I would hire you without a background check? Yeah, I know all about your munchies at work."
"The food was good though. So I don't regret it."
"I know. My best friend owns it."He smirked at me as I looked up at him. Shit."Well, I'll see you downstairs Ms. Sinclair."
That totally rhymed. He walked out of my room leaving me to unpack my various amount of instruments. But screw that, I'll do that shit later. Pulling down my pants and kicking it off my feet, I grabbed the nearest towel and went to my bathroom. Yeah, I said my bathroom. It's mine.
Now, for all you perverts out there(Richie), I'm going to skip the shower scene and jump to the kitchen. You wouldn't want to hear about my boring warm shower anyway.
Anywho! I made it down the stairs and into the kitchen where Mr. Kane, May and an older man sat. Everyone looked so classy while I'm here in ripped boyfriend jeans and a crop top. They all looked up at me as I walked to the table.
"Uhhh Sup-Good morning! Morning!"I am so used to saying sup in the morning to Janis.
"Good morning Bonibelle."May said with a smile. What did she just call me?
"What?"
"Is that not your full name?"She raised a brow while the older man shrugged.
"No, it's just Bonnie."I pressed my lips into a thin line. I felt kinda embarrassed which was weird. I shouldn't be embarrassed right? Well, now I feel like my own name isn't classy enough.
"I'm George, Ms. Sinclair."The older man smiled at me. I get this vibe from him, a good vibe. I can tell we're gonna get along swimmingly.
"Hello. Is this for me?"I pointed at the bacon and eggs. My fav. Well, I love all food. I didn't even notice that I was eating it already.
"Yes. Eat up. You'll need your energy for when the kids come from school. By the way, you're off on weekends. That's when my ex-wife has the kids."Mr. Kane said as I ate.
"Okey-dokey. Oh my god, this is good."I groaned as I finished eating in 2 minutes.
"Wha-You're done already? Wow. We just gave you the plate."Mr. Kane crossed his arms as he looked down at me with amusement.
"I don't play games when it comes to food. And I'm fixing for seconds."I smiled.
"I like her."George smiled back.
I heard heels aggressively clicking against the floor towards the kitchen. A tall gorgeous woman walked into the room. Her platinum blonde hair stopped at her jaw as her big blue eyes glared at all of us."Nathaniel, what are you doing?! We were in the middle of a contract and you think now is a good time to talk with the help?!"She shrieked as May rolled her eyes. Someone's a bitch.
"I was just talking with my pals, Rosanna. You can't keep calling them the help."He said with a sigh as I nodded. I stood up to place my dishes in the sink to wash it. Even though I was kinda messy sometimes, I hate to leave a dish in the sink because it starts with one or two things then it starts piling up.
"And what is that?"She pointed at me with disgust. Ohhhh she doesn't know who she's messing with.
"A female, so what are you?"I placed a hand on my hip as I glared back at her.
"I take back what I said. I love her."George chuckled to May.
"Ugh! Nathaniel, control your one night stands!"
"Ha! He wishes. I'm not a one night stand."I smirked."I'm the nanny, honey."
"You hired a nanny? For what? Is this some fetish thing going on because-"
"Rosanna! She's the nanny for my children."Mr. Kane rubbed his face then gestured me forward."This is Bonnie Sinclair."
Rosanna grilled me up and down with those cold dead eyes. This woman reminds me of a reptile. Not the cool ones either...I don't like her.
"Hm. Bonnie? That's the type of name of a girl who was born in a haystack to farmers."She scoffed. I really don't like her.
"I guess so. Who are you supposed to be?"
"George, a drink. I'm Rosanna Ebenezer Cockburn, I'm Nathaniel's business associate."She said with confidence but I immediately started laughing. I couldn't help it!"And what is so damn funny?"
"Dude....You-you just gave me so much shit for my name but did you even acknowledge your last name?!" I laughed hysterically while George started to laugh with me."Oh man! But your middle name does suit you. You ever saw A Christmas Carol?"
"So immature. I'll be in the office."Her face was red and I laughed while she was walking away. Mr. Kane sighed as he looked at me.
"Behave yourself, Ms. Sinclair. Don't forget what you have today. The children get out early on Fridays so be prepared."He said before leaving. Dude, it's 3 kids. Not monkeys. I got this in the bag!
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