I had the longest day and it's only 12 in the afternoon. The kids had a half day so I almost had to skip lunch to get them. Almost.

I sat in the living room messing with Snapchat filters and in between texting Cotton. I owed him a huge apology for not seeing him but turns out he stopped by and came upstairs while I was asleep. Rebecca let him in so I have to thank her once again. He explained that he tried to have a conversation with me but it wasn't working so he kissed me goodbye then left on a jet plane. I'm seriously going to miss him. He was an awesome guy.

As I was sitting, the kids all came down the stairs yelling about god knows what but Darlene was running behind her older siblings with a jacket in her arms.

"I wanna go!"Darlene shouted behind her brother and sister as they made their way to the door.

"You can't, Darlene, big kids only," Troy said to her. I watched them from the living room, wondering how this would play out."You can stay with Dad. We'll be right back."

"Yeah, go play with your dolls or something."Rebecca swatted her away.

Darlene looked down at her feet as she was on the verge of tears."You guys never hang out with me."

Something with this scene looked so familiar to me but the poor kid was about to cry. She's the youngest so she can't hang with them on the regular. I remember me and Zeke always hung out together late at night. It was awesome. But seeing Darlene so sad ached my heart.

"Hey, Tom and Jerry, come here."I waved them over from the couch. Troy walked over as Rebecca reluctantly followed.

"What's up?"Troy asked, looking down at me. 

"Why are you guys doing that to Darlene? She just wants to hang out."

"No! We can't take her!"Rebecca said."She'll throw a tantrum and want to go home!"

"Guys come on, Darlene just sits upstairs by herself. You two always go out without her to just walk around or go to the mall. You gotta understand she doesn't have anyone else to really play with. Don't you see that the poor girl just wants to spend  time with her big brother and sister and you guys are like....pushing her away."Oh my god. That's exactly what we did to Cali. That's why she resents me so much. I never wanted to hang out with her so now she hates me for neglecting her. The problem didn't start with Cali, it was me....

"You okay there?"Troy asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. How did I have such a sudden realization of what I did?

"Yeah, just had a 10-year revelation. Look unless you want to be like me and my sister, I recommend you take her with you. Where ever it is you're going."I said grabbing my own jacket from next to me and walked over to the door.

"And where are you going?"Rebecca asked me. I actually thought she was going to say it with attitude but she was genuinely confused.

"To apologize to my sister."I said to them with confidence but on the inside, I'm nervous as hell.

"We're coming with you."Troy said walking to the door but walked back over to Darlene to help her put on her jacket. Awwwwww, that was so cute. I think even Rebecca smiled."All of us."

"Ummm I don't want to sound rude but why? Why would you want to tag along?"I asked because I had no idea why. They have no idea who Cali is. In all honesty, I didn't think they would even care.

"For moral support.....And for a ride to the mall to get a guitar. You said you would take me."Troy smirked.

"When did I say that?"

"When you asked me to put your gloves on the window."When he said that, all the color left my face because how the fuck did he know I had a dream about gloves on my window which was pretty weird by the way."You wanna go after your husband comes back?"

"How the fu- Everyone in the car! We're going to make amends and buy guitars!"I jingled my keys but now I think I'm scared of Troy. He may be psychic.

***
Just move one foot after the other and you should be okay Bonnie.......

You still aren't moving? Why aren't you moving? Move, goddamnit!

This is so fucking hopeless. I flopped down on the front porch with a long sigh. She hates me, she wouldn't ever forgive me. Dad isn't home but he told me she is when I called. She wouldn't want to talk to me anyway so might as well just go over and take the kids to the mall.

"So you're not gonna come in?"I heard Cali's voice behind me. I turned to see the door cracked open and her looking back at me. Her hair wild and curly...just like mine."I heard you pull up 10 minutes ago."

"Sure."I stood up from the stairs and dusted off the butt of my ripped boyfriend jeans. I followed her inside but when I went to the couch, she made her way to the stairs."Cali...wait."

"For?"She rolled her eyes at me. She had sadness in her eyes when she was younger but now she replaced it with anger. Angry at how I treated her.

"I want to talk to you."I sighed, rubbing the left side of my temple.

"About?"

"Dude, look.....I'm really trying here. Please...I just want to talk."I pleaded. She looked me up and down but she removed her foot from the first step and walked over to the couch where I sat. She didn't sit next to me, she sat on the opposite side. I'll take it. She's not next to me but she's closer than usual."Calliope...... I am so sorry. I'm sorry for everything."

"What are you talking about?"

"How I neglected you. I wasn't the big sister I was supposed to be. I constantly let you down and pushed you away. I didn't mean to make you hate me so much, Cali but I understand why you do. You're my sister and I love you."I started out. I didn't notice but my eyes were watering up. Thinking about Cali as a kid always being left behind made me feel so guilty and hurt. She didn't respond back yet. She just stared at me.

"You think I hate you?"She whispered, looking at me with familiar eyes.

"Why wouldn't you? I treated you like shit, Cal. I hurt you."

"Bonnie.... I never hated you. I don't. I-I-I was just so angry how you never acknowledged me as a kid, so being rude to you was a defense mechanism for my pain. I love you more than anything and it hurts me to know how much I hurt you. I thought you didn't care."She blinked her teary eyes at me. Oh my god if she cries, I'm gonna cry. I've always been like that, I hate to see people cry.

"Of course I cared. I pretended not to care because I thought you didn't. Cali, I have nothing but love for you. I've never admitted it before but you mean the world to me."I smiled at my baby sister and she smiled back. She pulled me into a hug and this is the best I've felt in months. There is no greater feeling than love. Especially love from your family."Do you wanna hang out?"

"Huh? Oh sure! I was gonna go out with Luan but I can always do that. I finally get to hang out with my big sister."She pulled away from our hug with the biggest smile. It makes me happy that I'm the reason for that smile. The smile we both inherited from our mom.

"Let's go then. My boss's kids are in the car too. Troy, Rebecca, and Darlene."

"Oh cool. Two girls and one boy just like us."Cali stood up from the couch at the same time I did....Wait... how did I not notice that? The two girls and one boy. God damn, I'm dense. Making our way to the door, I opened it and let my sister through first since I'm a gentleman. I already told her who was who so she didn't get Rebecca and Darlene mixed up.

We approached the car and while I got into the driver's seat, Cali took a seat next to Darlene who was in her booster seat. Hey, I may seem careless but when it comes to my kids, I care a shit ton....I meant those kids.

"Guys, meet my own flesh and blood, Cali."I announced as I put on my seatbelt. I looked at Troy as he stared at his phone screen with his seatbelt already own. I'm guessing he never took it off.

"Helloooo!"Darlene waved excitedly at Cali.

"Hi, you must be Darlene."Cali beamed at the youngster who smiled back.

"I'm Rebecca."Rebecca leaned forward to introduce herself."Holy crap, I love your shorts!"

Cali looked down at her light blue distressed high waisted shorts which were actually really cute.....because they're mine. I thought I lost those when I moved out!"I love your blouse! Pink is my favorite color."

"Mine too!"Rebecca squealed. I think she just found her new best friend. I waited for Troy to say something but he was still fixated on his phone. I nudged him and he looked all around like someone else did it but when he looked behind him, he just stopped completely and stared.

"Hi."He said to Cali who stared back.

"Hi."She had this look on her face. I can't explain it because it was a weird ass look and he had the same one. Freaking weirdos.

"I'm...Troy."

"Cali."She smiled at him as he blushed. After starting the car, I stepped on the gas and headed to the mall."So Bonnie, where are we going?"

"To-"I started off but as you can see I was interrupted.

"The mall. We're going guitar shopping for me."Troy cut in.

"You play guitar?"

"Kind of. Bonnie is teaching me how to play."

"That sounds cool....Hey Bonnie, can you teach me how to play too?"

"But Cali-"

"So you'll teach me too? Cool! You can pick me up every Thursday to teach me.".....She already knows how to play the guitar....You know what, I'll just agree. Just agree. Wait.... I know what's going on. She just wants to bond with me. Awww. That's so cute.

"Darlene, you want your snack?"I asked her. In the rearview I can see her nodding her head so I signaled Rebecca to hand her the ziplock bag of Chips Ahoys I packed. I looked over once again to Troy who was staring into the rear view. Why is he staring at it? It's not like he's the one driving.

Wait... he's staring at Cali. Oh god.

"Dude, stop staring. That's weird."I whispered to him and nearly bust out laughing when his entire face turned red. Holy shit, I love this.

"I-I-I-I wasn't staring!.... I wasn't staring! At all!"He babbled but Cali, Rebecca, and Darlene were in a deep conversation to notice.

"...You know I just caught you right?"I rolled my eyes as I ran over a pothole causing everyone in the car to jump up."Sorry guys."

"Jesus Christ. We haven't even been friends twenty minutes yet and you're already trying to kill me? I thought you would at least wait until an hour."Cali joked, making them laugh.

"Har har, young sibling. You know my mark is forty-five minutes. So beware."I pulled into a parking space. Now it's time to shop.

***
"Oh my god, just pick any guitar. You'll still suck no matter which one you get."Rebecca rolled her eyes. We've been in here for two hours.

"Reminds me of you."Troy muttered under his breath. I elbowed him, letting him know that what he said was inappropriate. He smirked at me then walked off with Cali in search of finding a guitar. I'm not gonna rush him because finding the right guitar takes a while. Finding one that speaks to you. One that fits you. One that is perfect. It's the best thing on earth....after sex....which comes after food. Food is the best thing on earth.

Rebecca sighed as she tapped on the cymbals of the drum set next to her. She looked at me and let out a slight scoff but she tapped on it again. Darlene picked up one of the drumsticks and began banging on the drums. Rebecca picked up the other stick and tapped on the cymbal but then ended up banging on the drums just like her sister. I decided to whip out my phone and record this because this was cute to see them bonding like this. Moments like this is what makes me really enjoy my job.

"Hey, Bonnie, you said you were a music major. Put that music degree to work and jam with us!"Rebecca smiled gleefully, I could tell that she was having fun.

"Choose an instrument for me."I surveyed around the room at the many choices I had.

"The violin!"Darlene smiled pointing at it next to me. I picked it and placed my chin on the chin rest and held the bow in my right hand.

"Any request?"I asked. I feel like Rebecca already knows what she-

"Pillowtalk by Zayn."She smirked, that same smirk her father has.

"Really, dude?...Fine. Find an instrumental on YouTube so I can play along with it.... My best friend loves this song so I learned to play it for her."I got into position until Rebecca finally found it.

https://youtu.be/bCQaEfgAy9U

Rebecca jumped up and down with happiness while recording me as Darlene stared at me in awe. They never actually heard me play before so it was cool to see their reaction. I like seeing them so happy... It kind of made me happy. During these past few months, I've gotten really attached to all of them. Like teaching Troy to play the guitar, going with Darlene to ballet or even taking Rebecca shopping. They grew on me and I like being around them. I actually care for them like I've known them my whole life.

When I finished the song, the girls clapped for me with huge grins. I most definitely wowed them. I mean, I'm amazing soooo, yeah.

"That was really awesome! Almost makes me want to learn to play the violin...Almost." Rebecca smiled as Darlene hopped on over to me.

"It was soooo cool! You were like one of those people in suits who sit with other people in suits and play music together."She said looking up at me with big, bright eyes.

"An orchestra? Awww man, you must really think I'm that cool huh?"

"I don't think you are. I know you are!"Darlene raised her fist and I gave it a bump. That's kind of our thing now.

"Bonnie! Bonnie! I found it!"I heard Troy shout. I looked up from Darlene to see him jogging towards me with a 1957 LPR-7 Reissue Les Paul With Bigsby Electric Guitar.... What can I say, I know my guitars.

"Are you sure this is the one?"I asked him. He and Cali looked at each other with wide grins.

"She's perfect."He touched on the glossy black paint with eyes bright just like Darlene's a minute ago.

"It's the one."Cali placed a hand on his shoulder as we looked down at the guitar like a newborn baby. Wow. We are so fucking dramatic.

***

My day was fucking awesome. Hung out with the kids, made up with my sister, explored the mall, ate some food. Awesome.

We all sat in the living room together. I was actually telling them the story of how I burned off Richie's beard. They seemed really into it too. Thank god because I love telling this story. I crack up every time I tell it.

"-And he just dove head first into the lake! I'm tellin' you, it was the ultimate swan dive."I laughed with them. Troy was sitting on the floor with his siblings. Rebecca had Darlene on her lap as they listened to my stories. Them laughing was such a beautiful thing to me because they were laughing together. As a family. I don't know why but I whipped out my phone and took a picture of them. It's a good thing these kids are so photogenic.

"What was that for?"Troy asked.

"You guys looked so happy. I just had to."I shrugged with a smirk and they smiled back at me. And then all of our smiles disappeared when we heard the sound of heels.

Troy and Rebecca hummed the tune from the Wizard of Oz when Miss Gulch is riding the bike. Oh my god, I'm trying so hard not to laugh.

"I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too!"Darlene said in this voice that was high and resembled the witch's voice. That's when I lost it. I didn't even care that Rosanna was there.

"Ugh, you still work here?"

"And you can come outside when the sun is still up?"

Troy stifled a laugh but Rebecca didn't give a damn, she let out a hearty laugh. Rosanna glared at the three kids who glared back.

"Any reason as to why you're looking at them like that, Rosanna?"I crossed my arms and gave her the same glare they did.

"First of all, mind your bu-"

"They are my business. Let's get that straight. I don't like how you're looking at them. Is there a reason?"My tone was harsh towards her but I didn't care.

"I don't have to give anyone a reason. Especially some random poor person like you. You're temporary. Their father will get rid of you first and then them. Off to boarding school in Switzerland for the three stooges."She smiled and Troy rolled his eyes at her.

"Look here, Scrooge, I ain't going nowhere. These kids are staying here because their parents love them. I'm staying here because it is my job to take care of these kids and that's what I'm gonna do. I don't like how you came in here and started with us like we did something to you. You think you actually run things here, ha. But I'll tell you this, if you harass them or even look at them funny again, I will not be this nice. If I'm not present and I find out you bothered them I will..... let's just say I won't be happy."

"Did you just threaten me?"

"Oh god no! Why would I do that?"I laughed in her face but stopped."I'm warning you. Leave these kids alone, Rosanna and I mean it. And you can tell Mr. K. I'll tell him what you do too. We got an understanding?"

"Whatever. You're just a rent-a-nanny anyway. I can't wait to call you an Über in a week."Her face was red with anger and she stomped away from us. Never in my life have I ever been that angry. Ever. The fact that she bothers and harasses them other times really got to me. I actually wanted to hit her. Like really just clock her in the jaw one time. But I'll never do that in front of the kids. Or Mr. K because then he'll fire me.

"Bitch."

Holy shit. I couldn't believe my ears. I turned around with my mouth open to the culprit but someone already put a hand over her mouth. I really want to laugh but I have to scold her.

"Darlene! Where did you hear that word? I make sure not to curse around you so where did you hear that bad word from?"I realized she couldn't answer with Rebecca's hand over her mouth. I just realized that Rebecca also isn't making any eye contact. In fact, she's looking everywhere else but my direction. The dead give away was both Troy and Darlene were looking at her."Rebe-"

"It was me! I'm sorry! It slipped out once or five times! I just hate her so so so much! She's just so mean to us and she's the reason dad can never spend time with us! She makes him work all the time!"Rebecca blurted out. Her face red and her eyes filled up with tears. It got to her. Her dad always being busy got to her. Troy looked down at his lap while Darlene started sniffling. They feel the same way. I hated to see them like this. So sad and upset but I knew they would realize their father's workaholic habits.

I crouched on the floor with them and pulled all three of them into a group hug. I couldn't stand to see them so sad. They needed this. This needed comfort and love. They deserved it. Troy and Rebecca had their arms wrapped around each of my sides while Darlene rested her head on my chest, listening to my heartbeat. I've spent months with these kids, watching them grow and getting to know them but I realized: whatever they feel; I feel. When they were happy or mad, I felt it. Now I feel their pain. I feel how hurt they are. I won't admit to them for a while or anyone for that matter but I'm really starting to actually love them. I start and end my day with them. I'm always with them. I have the best days with them. I love them.

The biggest smile crept onto my face when I realized it. They looked up at me smiling and slowly smiled too while I comforted them.

"I will always be here for you. I'm not going anywhere."I said.

And then I heard those two words from Darlene that was just as effective to me as saying I love you:

"We know."