Prompt: Dreams

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The flowers are in bloom. The wind moves eerily. There is a sky, which isn’t a sky—it’s an illusion meant to fool—and there is a bright light. They sit on a grass field. The grass moves swiftly, following the wind. It’s nature showing them how the world works. The grass is wild, popping from the cracks of city’s floors, it does not bow to the rules of people. Yet it follows the wind, can not resist his will, and bows to who is stronger than it could ever. Still, it is a peaceful sight for the eyes of children.

“

I had a dream last night.” She says “I was younger there, maybe ten or eleven. You were there too but then your face changed into someone I didn’t recognize.”

“Your brain is tired.”

“You gave me dead flowers.” A pause. A sadness. “Dead flowers mean loss and unsatisfaction.”

“I don’t believe in dreams.” He tells her and runs his fingers through the grass on the ground. She smiles brightly, her teeth showing.

“You will. Eventually.”

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Khun Aguero Agnis doesn’t dream. He plans.
That is until plans fail and he, and Bam, is gone, gone, gone.

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The first time he dreams is after not sleeping for three days straight. There is research that states how we’re more likely to dream if we’re tried and Aguero decides, or to be more precise, is forced to test out the theory. He’s in the same white shirt he has been wearing for the past three days, not bothering to change it since he hasn’t bothered leaving his room altogether. He notes its wrinkles, notes how it doesn’t fit him quite that right. Nothing fits.

Aguero counts mistakes like sheep and eventually falls asleep, his brain too tired to work, and unlike last night, he doesn’t fight it.

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“Khun.” There is a velvet voice and Khun is drowning in it. He slowly opens his eyes, adjusting his vision to his surroundings. The image is still a little blurry. “Are you okay?”

Khun doesn’t need his vision to work perfectly to recognize the golden aura. It’s unmistakably Bam’s. Bam who is in his regular clothes, those that Khun bought, those that Bam died in, even with the bandanna on his head and who is looking worriedly at Khun. At that moment, Khun can’t stop himself. He touches Bam’s face—his hand on his cheek—and lets out a burst of heartwarming laughter.

“Mr Khun, is everything alright?” Khun doesn’t answer. Simply wraps both of his arms around the shorter boy and holds him as tightly as he can. They remain like that for a few minutes and Khun can finally let himself breath.

That is until he feels his hands empty. He raises his gaze and sees Bam standing on the other side of the room. “Bam?” he asks and tries to move towards him. A hand stops him.

“Aguero, Aguero.” A voice says sweetly. Khun turns around and sees his mother gripping his hand tightly. “When will you finally learn, my dearest?”

“Let me go.” He growls at her. Bam is still standing on the other side, his expression blank, but a hand extended towards Khun. “I need to reach him.”

His mother lets go of his hand but as soon as Khun tries to move, a different person stands in front of him. Ripped clothes, blue pale hair and bloodshot eyes. She wears a dark blue dress stained with blood stains near the heart, right where the Khun family symbol is. “Why do you want to reach him, Aguero? Haven’t you hurt enough people?”

Khun squeezes his eyes shut. “I didn’t mean to.”

The woman laughs and grabs Khun’s right arm, placing it on her heart. “You killed me, little brother. And now? You killed him as well.”

“No! I did—”

“You didn’t think hard enough!”

“I couldn’t have known!”

“No, you didn’t bother to learn.” She barks at him “You should be glad he’s dead,”—Khun looks at where Bam stood to find a void—“because if he was alive, he would hate you. Those were his last thoughts. That you failed him as you failed me!”

Khun kneels in front of her, hands on his ears trying to drown out the sound. “You’re lying! Bam knows I didn’t want this. He does. He must.”

His sister pets his head affectionately. The wind howls. “Oh, my sweet little brother, haven’t you learned? Dead men tell no tales.”

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It’s not the last nightmare he sees. However, his dreams aren’t always that gruesome. Sometimes, he dreams of meeting Bam first—before Rachel had any chance to approach him—and others he dreams of him being here, by his side, climbing the Tower together. He doesn’t know if these dreams are better than nightmares.

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It doesn’t help that Ran decides to use Khun’s room as his personal suite because “Novick snores and you can either let me sleep here or say goodbye to the asshole with mediocre cooking skills”. Khun doesn’t want to have a breakdown in front of the younger Khun, they haven’t reached that part yet, but it’s bound to happen. He can’t stay awake forever.

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It happens in the worst way. He dreams of Bam holding his hand and smiling and looking at him like he’s the sun—like Khun looked at him—and they’re happy and it’s a cruel reminder that they could have been happy. Khun could have made him happy. Khun could have kept him alive. And just like that, the scenery changes and they are in a bubble. The same bubble. Khun pushes him outside, just like Rachel had, and he must see the betrayal on his eyes.

(Bam falls and shouts his name.)

He wakes up sweating and barely manages to hold a choked sob in fear that it would wake up Ran. He goes to the bathroom, opening the water to create enough noise so his sobs won’t be heard.

(When the morning comes, Ran has saved him a cupcake. They don’t mention how they slept.)

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Before the Hand of Arlene, Aguero sees withered lotus flowers and red roses and Bam laying dead on a field.

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Bam returns and the dreams change. They are peaceful now. They hide deep love and desire. Khun is content with them. He dreams of worlds where the war hasn’t forced Bam to join it. Worlds where Bam is his and his alone. Worlds where there are careless touches and stolen kisses and even though the fantasy of them hurt, Khun is grateful.

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“I don’t sleep well anymore,” Bam whispers at Khun one day. Khun already knows. He has heard of Bam’s collapses, he has seen him spacing out, he has witnessed him resting on Khun’s shoulder for more than expected.

“Do you want me to find something for you?”

“Nothing will do,” Bam replies and sits close to Khun. “Every time I close my eyes, I see terrible things. I see people, people I’ve killed. I see people that have gotten kill because of me. I see my friends, dead, all of them. You and Rak, it’s always so,”—Bam grabs Khun’s hand—“I can’t close my eyes.”

“I know it’s hard.”—Khun squeezes his hand—“I know I can’t take the burden from you but, I promise, we’ll remain by your side. All of us.”

Bam smiles. Khun would tear down the entire Tower to keep him smiling forever.

“Until the end?”

“Until the end.”

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Khun begins dreaming of death and all the ways he could die and notes at the back of his mind those who would be the least painful for Bam.

They are all different, but all share the same trait; Khun goes first.

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In real life, however, it is Bam.

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The war is won. Zahad is dead. Bam finds Khun, still alive, still breathing, and hugs him. Khun doesn’t protest. “It’s the end,” Bam whispers at him. Khun wants to disagree, wants to let him know that this is merely the beginning of their new lives. Instead, he hugs him just as tight.

(The previous night, Khun dreams they are in a house and he’s making something. Bam is behind him, wrapping his arms around the other one lovingly, and resting his chin on Khun’s head.

“What is this?”)

Khun feels his shirt wet. At first, he doesn’t pay attention to it thinking that it’s probably the blood of the enemy and the adrenaline wearing off has made him finally notice it. However, when a drop of blood falls between his feet, Khun lets go of Bam.

Oh.

(“I’m making a necklace.”)

“It’s the end,” Bam repeats and loses his balance. Khun barely has any time to catch him. He tries to place him as gently as possible to the ground.

“No, no, it’s fine, you’ll be fine,” Khun says and places his hand on top of Bam’s chest. Bam gathers the strength he has left and removes the other one’s hand.

(“It’s beautiful.”)

“No.”

“Bam, please, I’ll just use the fire fish.”

“Last time you used it,”—he coughed—“you said it was the last time. If it’s used again, you will burn with it.”

“It doesn’t matter!” Khun shouts at him. Their allies have begun gathering around them. With the corner of his eye, Khun sees Endorsi gasp at the sight of Bam. “Let me do it, please.”

(“I’m making it for you.” Khun says “That way, even when I’m not with you, you’ll always have something to remember me by.”)

“Aguero.”—Bam grips his hand tighter—“It’s okay.”

“It’s not.” Khun sees his hands covered with blood—Bam’s blood—and groans “Don’t do this, Bam, please. Don’t leave me. I, you, it’s not—”

“It’s better me than you.”

(“You truly are a romantic.”

“This is why you love me.” Khun smiles “Although, I have a small problem. I’m missing a bead.”)

Bam’s hands are getting colder, Khun can feel it. His eyes still shine brightly. It’s such an irony, Khun thinks, the way the world kills its brighter star. “Promise me you won’t use the fish.”

“Bam—”

“Promise me!” Bam says and lifts his body to look at Khun better.

“I promise,” Khun whispers and curses Bam for being so cruel in his final moments, for forcing Khun to continue living like that.

“I,” —his speech is slightly slurred— “Aguero, I love—”

(“Is that it?” Bam asks holding a black bead on his hand. Khun nodded and placed it on the piece of jewellery.

“Looks good doesn’t it?”

“I love it.” Bam tells him and gives him a quick peck “I love you.”)

He takes his last breath and the body falls on Khun’s hand. Khun buried his face on Bam’s chest, sobbing violently. Those around grieved the Fallen God. Others grieved their loving friend. Some yelled, some wept, some cursed the God of the Tower.

It’s Rak who dares come closer to the duo. He’s in his normal form, as tall as ever, but has never felt smaller. He sits beside them, watches Bam’s lifeless body and Khun’s bloody one. They are at the top of the Tower, in the place all three of them had dreamt.

And as the stars a girl desired shone brightly, Rak couldn’t help but grieve for a dream—“to be together at the top”—gone wrong.

(Climb the Tower and your dreams shall come true, but never in a way you wanted.)

Notes:

being younger: worrying about the future and feeling that you're attacked by people around you. Generally means anxiety and uncertainty.
dreaming of your brother and seeing his face change: if you are a woman and you dream that a father a brother or a lover transforms into somebody else, it indicates it is time to close the door on a situation or relationship in order to progress in your life.
dead flowers: denotes disappointments and bad luck, also difficult scenarios in real life. It might indicate an end of a career, love affair or period of life.
dead person: Very often the events of the dream take place in a white room, this can either be an operation room, or a space laboratory, or a changed but familiar room. In this case, the dreambooks advise not to pay much attention to the details, they all indicate that you have not yet managed to accept the loss. (In other cases, symbolizes new beginnings)
withered lotus: marks revived feelings
red roses: love and romance
the entire necklace thing: symbolizes near-death experiences. If you dream of making a piece of jewellery with beads and you are looking for the last one but you can not find it, it means the person(or you) won't die. However, if you find it, they will.