I know the titles seem ironical to it's content. It is meant to be ironic. Even the thoughts inside are contradictory.Sometimes that's how life would be!

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If my life was not this grey.
I would never have let myself flay.

I was just hoping for a good day.
And then for lust ,I became a prey.

So eerily still, I cut again,

A big slash through my vein.
Now it was not about control of my pain.
Just a disgust to my body by my brain.

A hate to the life, all famished.
While against the bandages, he ravished.

And through the cuts, my blood fled to drain.
Cold his eyes were to, the hurt and the pain .

In Fear of being used again,

He became my bane.

I guess I should now differ,
Nothing gets better because I suffer.

Everyone would try to feign,
But I shouldn't cut again.
So I put a stop, your cut is nobody's but yours.
It hurts just you-just you and it never cures

I know the ecstasy will decoy and draw,
But it'll only be a portal after it's all thaw.

Kept away the blade in wraps before I collapse,
The call was high to go back and relapse.

Deaddiction, was ardous and wan,
But I fought fully knowing I can.
You just need to know, it will never ever help

It will always lure, you shouldn't yield even if you yelp.

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OK. To everyone out there,

Self harm is not something you can be proud of. If you call it your life and story, people will call you an attention seeker. It is not like that. But still, think about it from their side too.

I know at some point it looks impossible to restrain, but it is possible. Get help.Professional help if you think that is needed. Do whatever you want but always remember you are only being one of those people who hurt you by harming yourself!!

~ Chaahat