Wasting time on silly little stuff,

Am not focused on What's up!

Digging up it all that's drowned,

Or dragging things all down,

It all hurts just the same;

Tears, shame and defame.

I should be focused right now,

Am dying to make it somehow,

  And I am at all wrong things.  

My mind just stays at them-him;

I should be turning pages,

Instead am clicking messages.

Somehow it helps in the flow,

At least I started to draw.

My heart found peace at the wrong door.

Happiness, security and more,

If only the door was mine,

If only I had that, I'd be fine.

I could have ceased not diseased,

The ultimate test would have been eased,

But now I fret as I couldn't get,

A chance so true without any fret,

I should be focused to clover,

Instead I am bowing to failure!

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  "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."   - C.S.Lewis.