Your POV
When I woke up the time read 1:32 am. I blearily opened my eyes and snuggled my face deeper into his chest. I looked up at him to see his eyes seemingly glowing in the dark, like a in cats's luminous stare. He tightened his arms around me and smiled down at me happily. He said silkily, "oh my dear is awake now. Took you long enough Love." I smirked and sat up on top of him. I rubbed my eyes and yawned. His eyes widened and his lips parted excitedly as he watched me stretch my arms. I wondered what the big deal was, because he's seen me naked many times before, and seen me just as I wake up even more times. I smiled and set my hands gently on his chest, wedging my breasts between my arms. I made a pouty  face and said in a southern accent, "what is it sugar snap?" I grinned at my ridiculous role play and he just wedged his arms behind his head and smiled faintly as he watched me. his eyes gleamed with amusement at being entertained by me. I rubbed my hands along his chest, starting at his muscled V at the bottom of his abdomen until I eventually smoothed my hands up over his chiseled abs, up to his chest and finally I stopped at his shoulders. Soon, I was pushing my whole body into him as I rubbed his shoulders. I felt a desperate heat grow in between my legs and I rubbed his shoulder and said seductively , "what do you want to do now baby?" I bit my lip and stared hungrily into his golden eyes. He chuckled and said, " my sweet I want us to go on our date. After all, I've made the arrangements already. Now please get off me." I growled at him and said impatiently, "only if you fuck me first. Hisoka put your fucking cock in me right now." He took his arms out from behind his head and he silently twisted strands of my hair around his long, nimble fingers. I watched his incredibly arched eyebrows rise as he watched me and my slight frown at his lack of words. I bit back a snarky comment and waited for his answer. He knew I was waiting so he took his time responding to me. Eventually, he looked away from my hair and trained his eyesight me and said, " hmm, my dear why would I want to fuck my deliciously insatiable wife right now? You're such a lying little creature. Such a bad bad girl, quite frankly I'm disappointed in you."  I hated how he was treating me like he did when we were kids when I had disobeyed him or Elaine. But at the same time, he was the only one I'd ever allowed to fully control me, and I allowed it because I loved and trusted him, despite his ridiculous behavior sometimes. Plus, after our relationship turned romantic and we got through the Hunter Exam together, I adored him too much to defy him. Well, sometimes. In other words, I was the equivalent of pussy-whipped, but like with the male counterpart. I guess when you start to love someone as much I as I loved Hisoka, they started love him, they hold a kind of power over you. He continued, " my dear you never keep secrets from me, what's gotten into you, hmmmmmm?" He caressed my face lightly and continued to touch me. I blushed fiercely and looked down to avoid his gaze. I shifted my position uncomfortably and mumbled, " i'm sorry, i- it won't happen again baby. I love you, Hisoka." He tipped my chin up with his index finger and so I was looking up at him. A wide smile curled onto his face and he said gleefully, " what was that Love? Daddy didn't hear you the first time. Speak up please my love." I blushed a deep scarlet and whispered, " I'm sorry Hisoka. Please forgive me. I'm so sorry. I never should've acted so rashly without telling you my plan. I love you, Daddy Hisoka." I bit my lip and looked down again. He laughed and ran his hand through my hair therapeutically. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch. He continued to pet me and I closed my eyes and started to purr a bit as I felt his nails caress my scalp. I found myself wishing his hands were on my breasts, squeezing me, rather than in my hair. I bit my lip, thinking about his soft touch contrasted by his sharp nails. I could sense him smiling and he whispered in my ear, "You are forgiven my naughty wife. Though you should be thankful I'm still allowing your plans to teach that boy nen. You're just too soft to be doing missions such as these y/n. You're much too caring my love." He sensually licked my ear and I shuddered. "Ah, well, there goes our date, love" he whispered as I moaned. I smiled a small smile and wrapped my legs around him and I pressed myself into him savoring his deep scent that smelled of sweetness, like candy and slightly of something darker and more foreboding. I nuzzled my face into his neck and sighed and he wrapped one arm all the way around me and kept lightly dragging his pointed nails along the curves of my spine. I said gratefully " thank you so much. I couldn't keep torturing him, and the only way I could think to occupy him without getting involved romantically was with teaching him nen. I didn't want to hurt him, but I also didn't want to have to have sex with him. The only one I want inside of me is you, Hisoka. I promise I'll just do whatever you tell me to from now on, I wish I wouldn't have done-" he smiled a flirtatious close lipped smile and said smugly, as his eyes flashed with pleasure, "my Love your tendency to ramble is quite annoying at times. In fact, I hate seeing you so submissive, even with me. this is usually not like you, my love." He arched his eyebrows in silent question. I leaned back to look at his face and he cocked his head in amused concern, an odd emotion he's seemed to master over the years. I scoffed and crossed my arms then I said incredulously, "excuse me! I'm not like this with anyone else! It's your fault for making me love you so much, Hisoka! Plus I'd never let you control me completely!" I sniffed and put my nose high in the air indignantly. He chuckled and in one smooth motion he flipped me on my stomach, so my backside was facing him, and he squeezed my ass and pulled my cheeks apart with with his large hands. He laughed deeply and I whimpered as I felt myself start to moisten at hearing his laugh after being manhandled by me. My eyes started to water and I bit my lip. He gripped me tighter and pulled my ass closer to him and pushed it up higher up in the air. My knees started to tremble and my vagina started to drip and tighten in expectancy of his dick. I whispered desperately. "please, impale me D-Daddy." He chuckled and said evenly in his velvety voice, "oh my dear, how it pleases me so to see you so desperate for me. It's almost as if you're addicted to me and our sex." He moved his hands so he was holding my inner thighs and he said pouting, " Sex? Is that why you're the most submissive I've ever seen you in the almost whole decade we've been together? Really, Love, I expected better, tsk, tsk." He chuckled and squeezed me. I closed my eyes and said nothing because I knew he knew that was the reason why. I mean, I loved him with all my heart either way but he was so fucking sexy it would be impossible to not want to have him slip inside me all the time, especially once we were married. I groaned as I felt my vagina crave his warmth and I knew he had a clear view of my dripping and desperate womanly folds. He gently bit my ass and I gasped and felt my body start to hum with anticipation of having him. I trembled happily but he let his grip on me go abruptly. He pulled me towards him so my back was against his chest and his arms were were resting on my shoulders and lazily crossed in front on me. His nails brushed my breasts and I frowned and decided it was my turn to pout. I leaned my head back on his shoulder and said while craning my neck to look up at him, " Hisoka it's just plain mean to tease me. You know I want you, and yet you do this with me. You must hate me because you're doing this to me, baby.  Why do you hate me Hiso-?" He chuckled and said, " My, my, my, how interesting. My wifey is almost a sex addict. Well, I'm afraid that's my fault for pleasuring you so much that half the time we're together that's all you can manage to think about. And you know quite well I don't hate you my dear, I hate it when you say such nasty mean things to me Love. You like to play games with me, dear." I held his hands and looked down. I mumbled, "you're the one who likes games more." I paused I said trying to sort through my feelings aloud, " you know I don't hate you, but sometimes I just feel so dirty for wanting your mouth on me all the time, for always getting so fucking wet for you, like all the time. I always find myself thinking about you, wanting to hug you, or wanting you inside of me. I find myself wanting to be beside you and be with you all the time! I love you so much! For gods, sake! Even your bloodlust turns me on, Hisoka. I love you so much it almost completely consumes me sometimes! That can't be normal. I've, Ive never even felt this before in my entire life. I feel like I could forgive you for anything, anything! What's wrong with me?" He smiled and tipped my head back so I was looking at him. His pleased smile curled mischievously onto his lips and he stroked my neck with the tips of his fingers. My eyes started to water, and he clucked his tongue. I frowned and said quietly while looking up at him questioning, " You don't share with me as much I share my thoughts and feelings with you. is it the same for you ? I can't tell." I held his hands tighter, anxiously waiting for his reply. He said quietly while pulling me closer to him, " no my dear. It's far worse." He shifted his legs so he was wrapping them around me tightly. I guided his hands to my breasts and he squeezed them gently. He continued to talk as he caressed me and said, "I want fuck you every hour of every day, I want to be with you all the time. I never want to leave you, ever. I never want to be without you because when you're gone I'm utterly alone. I want to kill anyone who looks at you. I want to break anyone who touches you. I so badly to have your taste to always be in my mouth, I want to only smell your delicious scent. I only want to feel your body, I only ever want to see your smile. When I close my eyes all my good dreams are of you and I together. I want to travel with you, sleep with you, play with you, fight you, I want you to comfort me and I want to always be holding you, I want to be the only one who can have you. I want you to be happy. Y/n, I need you to make me happy. I need you, I rely on you to make me feel something besides the joy of fighting. I want to own you y/n, I-" his voice faltered and he fell silent and he sighed. He continued, "my love the only two things that bring me joy in life are loving you and fighting deliciously strong opponents. There's nothing else for me here. If I lost you, I, i- I'd die y/n, I would die without you my love. I want to put my whole being inside you and stay there, stay safe and warm and hap-" I turned around interrupted him with a sweet, slow and deep kiss. He without hesitation, opened his mouth to me and I caressed his the inside of his mouth with my tongue. I hugged him protectively and tears dripped out of our eyes and mixed their salty taste into our kiss. I loved him so much and his words had moved me. My heart swelled at knowing, at hearing how happy I made him, and knowing that I too, I felt the exact same way. Knowing that I loved him, needed him, and at this point, could never live without my love. I cried some more and I had to pull out of the kiss because I was hiccuping, my lips were trembling, and my body was shaking as I held onto him and pressed my forehead into his chest. I cried onto him as i let my tears flow, " I love you too,Hisoka I- couldn't live withou-" I didn't finish because another sob began to rack my body and he rubbed my back comfortingly and said while running his other hand through my hair "this is why I can't share my feelings with you all the time, Love. It's simply too much for your sweet little heart. What a sensitive little girl you are, what good are you if you're always crying, hmmmmm?" I laughed a little and tried to pull myself together. I held onto his hair and looked into his beautiful eyes and I almost started to sob again, remembering the moment I looked into his eyes the day I first met him, and how much happier he was now than he was then, and knowing I was the one who made that happen. His amber eyes were still deep and held an almost immeasurable about of darkness but they were also alight with love and life as well. My lips trembled as I held onto him for dear life and I said, " I-I'm not a little girl! *sniff* I'm a fucking adult! I'm a *sniff* strong independent woman, Hisoka! Quit treating me like a child!" My lips trembled and I hated how much my words contrasted with my behavior right now but I held my ground. I just loved him so much and it was such a privilege for him to actually love me back just as much, maybe even more- if that was even possible and it brought me to tears. He raised his eyebrows and said "Oh, is that so, my Love?" He said, placating me. I bit my lip to keep it from trembling and I nodded. He guided my head to rest on his shoulder and I wrapped my arms and legs around him and let out the cries I had been holding in from the past moments. I was just so grateful for him, and his beauty, his personality, his aura, his warmth, his being, his conversations, his voice, his everything. He was a blessing to me. He laughed quietly and the few tears he had shed were long gone. He whispered as I cried into his bare chest, "my little girl needs her Daddy, hmmmmmmmm?" I felt my vagina tighten at his sexy words and I pounded my fists on his back and said upset, "stop being so fucking sexy Hisoka! Stop it! It's not fair how hot you arrreeeeee!" I started to cry again and I felt something warm leak out of my vagina. He smiled and dipped his fingers onto the sheets and they came back a deep red. I had started my period, and I grimaced as I watched him lick his fingers clean seductively. I tried to dry my tears and I said, disgusted, yet slightly aroused, "Hisoka that's gross! You-" he interrupted me and as he wiped all the blood from my vagina with his hands and licked his hands clean. He said smugly, "my dear, it seems that Daddy has to do everything for you. How awful you are to make Daddy do such things to comfort you after your tantrums. Oh dear, how Daddy has to take care of you, how terribly awful." He pouted and I said angrily, "hey! I never asked you to do that! You don't take care of me!" He nodded thoughtfully then said smugly, " and yet you never ask me to buy your soap, face wash, toner, razors, shaving cream lotion, hair products, pads, panties, bras, socks, hair ties, toothbrushes, toothpaste, and that special foaming wash for your sweet parts, but here I am, my dear. That's what I do. Oh, what else am I forgetting? Who do you think washes your clothes, Love? Shall I go on?"I winced realizing that stuff did just kind of appear no matter where we were and I just always took it for granted. That, and much more.

I frowned and I was so grateful for him because he did take care of me in more ways than one without me even thinking to ask him. Ever since I met him when I was 9 after my parents were killed, both him and Elaine took care of me. Hisoka was like my brother and caretaker back then, and in a way he still is my caretaker. And I loved him all the more for it.  I bit my lip and leaned my head in his shoulder in defeat. I sighed and mumbled an apology. he said, "that's a good girl. Now who's your Daddy? Is it Illumi, or perhaps Joe, or maybe Steven or, who else am I forgetting?" With the hand not rubbing my back he pressed his fingers to his lips happily while his eyes shone with mirth. I sighed and said, " you're my Daddy, Hisoka. You are, no one else. You take care of me and I never have to want for anything because of you. You love me and take care of me, Daddy." I he smiled a wide smile and I repeated it a bit happier this time "You're my Daddy, Hisoka and I wouldn't have it any other way. You'remy sweet, beautiful, considerate man. I love you. You're my Daddy, Hisoka!" I smiled and he stroked my head and said satisfied, "very good, my sweet, delicious  little girl. Your Daddy loves you, my dear and your Daddy is more than happy to satisfy you and do such things for you, without you asking. In fact, my sweet y/n I love how you're so young and cute and so soft. You make Daddy want to impregnate you. You make Daddy want to rip your little vagina to shreds until you your sweet little knees wobble. I want to ravish you so I am forced to stretch your inexperienced little girl asshole because your vagina is so very exhausted, it simply can't take anymore." I whimpered again
and ground myself into him desperately, breasts bouncing as I pressed them against his chiseled chest. He groaned and continued passionately " you make Your Daddy want to slap your sweet little girl ass and bite your tight little girl breasts and watch your beautiful face as I utterly obliterate your juicy little-" Then we heard Elaine yell angrily, " Will you two SHUUUUT UP! Sound fucking travels  in this godforsaken place and I swear to GOD if you wake me up in the middle of the night one more GODDAMNED TIME, I WILL cut off Hisoka's dick! I'll do that shit! AND now that I'm awake, I'm hungry and I'm going to eat and gain weight and it'll be YOU FUCKERS' FAULT! If Kite was here right now he'd be upset with me for you two doing this ducking soulmate shit when you know damn well we can hear you! So, shut the FUCK up! Do you hear me? Shut up you kinky lovebirds!" I frowned and called out "Sorry Elaine! Usually you're a heavy sleeper, so..." I heard nothing from her and I frowned. I repeated, "kinky". I looked up at Hisoka and said, " we're not kinky, right Hisoka?" He smiled and said, "no Love, we're not. I have many things I find myself wanting to do with you and I just can't, because they'd simply be too much for you, Love." I furrowed my brows and said question (because I thought fighting and having sex was already pretty kinky, what could be more hardcore than that?) , "what do you want to do to me that's so awful?" He groaned and I felt him get hard. He bit his lip and groaned as he whispered, "oh my love if I tell you you'd never see me the same way. It would unsettle you, my sweet I don't want that. This is why i don't share my feelings with you all the time Love- it would upset you if I did." I frowned and wondered exactly how twisted his thoughts must be if he felt like he couldn't share them with me. I frowned deeper and said tentatively " yeah ok Hisoka, maybe you think I don't want to know but still, I'll love you no matter what and I wish you wouldn't feel like you can't tell me stuff. I hate how you keep your feelings a secret sometimes and I'm practically an open book in comparison." He bit his lip excitedly and his eyes reflected how turned on he was as he whispered

trigger warning

, "I just want to tie you down, fuck you until your vagina bleeds, so I can hear your desperate screams. Then, I want to slit your wrists and drink your delicious blood until you pass out. Then, I want to use my cards to carve a tear and star on each of your breasts so your beautiful body is awash in blood and you have scars in the exact shape of my symbols. I want you to scream out my name until you cough up blood and I want to choke you as I hold you down and fuck your aching, swollen vagina. I want to hold you down and whip you until tears stream down your face and mix with your perfect, delicious blood. I want lick your blood, tears and cum off of you and taste them all at once, y/n."

Trigger warning over

My eyes widened in horror and I looked at his face. His smile was creepily wide and his eyes were bright with pleasure he looked at me like he had just remembered I was there and said, " do you still wish for me to tell you everything? I can, if you would like." I sat there frozen, realizing he'd enjoy something so heinous and he might actually try to do it to me. I felt my heart pound in my chest as I saw his predator-like eyes monitor me. I managed to stutter out "w-would you really do that to me? Would you really like seeing me in such immense pain?" He nodded and smiled. I squirmed uncomfortably and mumbled, "you don't have to tell me everything. It's intimidating." I tried to avoid the phrase: fucking scary but that's what it was to me. He pulled me into a gentle hug and said, " I know my Love, and I would never do such things to you unless you gave your consent. I don't share these thoughts with you because I don't want you to be scared. I know that it upsets you. I apologize Love." I nodded and said weakly, "Hisoka, thank you for not always sharing your thoughts and feelings with me, it is a bit much for me, I don't like it at all. It's unsettling to me." I paused and said, "but you don't have to apologize for wanting to uh... do all that to me, because that's just your um, preference, and as long as you don't uh- try all that without asking, your feelings are still valid with me, but, uh" I grimaced and tried to be understanding and supportive without seeming judgmental. That's what a good mate would do, I figured. I finished with, "so it's ok, I, I still love you, it's just kind of" I traced my finger along his bare chest trying to think of the right word. He smiled sadly and watched my expression. I finished and said, " it's just kind of different, but it's, it's ok, I promise!" I said while pulling a strained smile and setting my hand flat on his chest. He took my hand and held it. He said quietly, " my dear, I'm aware something is wrong with me and to produce such violent desires. I would never want to hurt you so badly my Love." I thought how he was contradicting himself because he just said he'd enjoy hurting me so badly and hearing me scream and tasting my blood, tears, and cum. I figured he was lying in on that last bit and I held in a scoff. He lied on big and little things just for fun. But I looked into his downcast eyes and I knew I how awful he might feel if I wasnt accepting of him in this moment so I said firmly while looking into his eyes, "Hisoka, nothing is wrong with you. You're absolute perfection to me. Perfection, ok? Your desires are different, but my love won't change for you because of them. I want to understand you so I can help you. I'm not interested in doing that type of stuff, but" I swallowed my fear and said, " but I can t-try if you want me to, if that would make you happy. If that would make you feel better, I'll do it for you, Hisoka. I can always heal anyway." And I meant it too. I wrapped my legs tighter around him and cupped his face with my hands. He trained his gaze on me and smirked and said, "you mean it? You would try for me?." I nodded and caressed his smooth cheek with my hand and I offered him a small smile. He frowned and I sat there confused and I said, "what is it?" He shook his head and said, "my dear you were supposed to be scared . That's- that's what I always thought you'd..." I held him tighter and said truthfully, "Hisoka I am scared right now. But not of you, just scared of taking a risk on something like that. But absolutely nothing you can say or do will ever make me fear you or love you any less. I'm scared that you'll feel so ashamed of your desires that you won't want to show me all of you. I know how you are and it hurts me every time you run away instead of opening up to me, and telling me your thoughts and feelings." I looked up at him and rubbed my thumb across his cheek and I finished, "because I want to love all of you".

Lemon 🍋

He said nothing and looked held me gently. He was not frowning, but he wasn't smiling either. I palmed his cock and pressed my nipples into him and I gently pushed him to lay down. His vulnerable look vanished as I lightly bit his ear and I whispered seductively while massaging him, "do you want me baby? Hisoka? Do you want to make me orgasm? Do you want to unload inside of me Daddy?" He said nothing and gripped my ass tightly as I straddled him. I firmly gripped him and I pulled his hair as I bit his throat. "Well?" I asked. He groaned and a small smile slipped onto his face and he closed his eye and whispered, "yes y/n, I want you Love." I grinned and guided my wet pussy onto his long shaft already dripping with precum. I held his hand and I gyrated my hips as I gently rode him. I rhythmically moved up and down and my movemebts caused lewd slurping noises escape my vagina. Hisoka's eyes shone happily as he clutched my ass as I moved. He wore a languorous smile. I my skin started to shine with sweat and I painted as I started to speed up and change my movements from a circular motion. I put my hands on his shoulders and gasped as I pulled up, and slammed back down again feeling his juices begin to mix with mine. My shining breasts bounced as I moved and Hisoka moved his hands to clutch them both. He licked my nipples and he pinched them with his claw-like nails. I gasped and looked down at him to eyes were shining up at me. He kept unwavering eye contact with me gently took as much of me that would fit into his mouth and he softly bit down. I moaned and I could feel his fang like canines sink into my soft, sensitive tissue to draw blood. He closed his eyes drank from the large bite mark he had created. I looked down at him in surprise and he looked my nipple and squeezed my other breast with his hand as he gazed up at me. His intense and sexy stare made me moan again and I keenly felt his wood throbbing within me as I continued to move rhythmically with my husband inside me.

He bit my other breast multiple times, and though it hurt, he found a way to be gentle and his bites were soft. His tongue swirled  slowly deliberately around my nipple and he licked up up my blood and moaned as I panted and worked to hard to push his penis all the way into me. When he was finished he leaned his head on my chest as I felt the walls of my vagina snugly wrap around his penis and rejoice at the sensation of having his long, throbbing member inside of me. He whispered into my swollen, bouncing breasts, " I don't deserve you Love. You're too good. I love you. Oh how I love you." I gently took ahold of his red fuchsia hair as I panted lightly and pulled it so he was looking up at me. I bit my lip as I enjoyed the feeling of my walls stretching to encompass all of him, " never say that again, Hisoka. You deserve me, you are caring, charming, sexy, beautiful, powerful and you deserve my love. You deserve all of me." He smiled softly and said nothing as he placed his hands on my shoulders, leaned his head back and closed his eyes, while still maintaining a soft languorous smile as I continued to ride him. I frowned down at him and I said firmly, "say it, Hisoka. Say you deserve me and everything I have to give. Say it." I pulled his bright hair again and he nodded. He said quietly, " I deserve you and everything you have to give."  I nodded satisfied, and he smiled brightly and began to kiss the bitemarks gently and sweetly as he clutched my waist. I shoved them in his face, begging for more. He chuckled and snaked his hand around to rest on my shoulder blade and he pressed me toward him. I moaned as he gently suckled on my right nipple and did his best to encompass as much of my breast that would fit in his mouth. I closed my eyes and threw my head black as I felt his wet tongue glide across my right breast, and I felt one of his hands gently fondle my left breast. He smiled into my left breast as he switched over to it and I felt him bite me softly and I moaned again. I felt my vagina contract quickly around him and I started hyperventilating as I reached my climax. He laughed and pulled my face closer to his and he began to kiss me sweetly. I started to pant and I said, " Hisoka, w-wait if you keep kissing me- I uh- I'm gonna cum!" He smiled and fondled my breasts as he continued our kiss. I closed my eyes and felt myself orgasm at the exact same moment he shot his thick milk far up into me and I moaned happily as he groaned and whispered "I love you so much y/n. So much, my sweet." He took my hand as I gyrated my hips a few more times to keep him cumming as long as possible. His amber eyes flashed and he said, "Oh dear, how absolutely good you are. I feel so pleasured and safe when I'm inside you, Love." I sighed and pulled myself off his now semi-flaccid penis. I smiled blissfully and laid down, and pulled him down with me. I closed my legs to keep his cream from leaking out as I enjoyed his warmth I grinned at him and said, "Hisoka you're my everything, you sexy magician. I love how your cum warms me up Daddy, it feels like drinking the most delicious hot chocolate in the world. I love your creamy cum Hisoka, it remember tastes sweet too." I laughed lightly He smiled and whispered a thank you as pulled me into his embrace. I winced as I felt his hard chest against my breasts and he glanced down. A feline smile crept onto his face and he said, "you're all mine, Love. You may heal yourself if you like but I want to see you like this. It's beautiful." He gently wiped away small droplets of blood that had formed and I sighed and whispered, "thank you for being gentle when you tasted my blood." He smiled and gently leaned down to my face and his eyes glowed as he said, "anything for you, dear. I'm glad you liked it." I laughed lightly. I liked his mouth on me yes, but I didn't particularly like the pain. I sighed closed my eyes. I was exhausted and his even breathing and warmth quickly lulled me back to sleep. I mumbled as I drifted off "goodnight Hisoka, my dear husband." Hisoka said nothing as I fell fast asleep in his arms.

Lemon 🍋 over

Hisoka POV
For the rest of the night, I chose not to sleep, but to instead watch y/n as she slept and think about her and her words tonight. She slept peacefully and I adored how even in her sleep, she snuggled into me for comfort. She pressed her cold feet against my legs and I almost laughed at how she was trying to warm her feet on me. I rubbed her lips with my thumb and I held her body as I remembered how utterly scared she looked after I had been honest with her about some of the things I hide from her. Well, I had been holding back when I told her what I wanted to do to her. Tonight was nothing compared to that. Hm, I'm proud of myself for holding back. I remembered her expression I chuckled remembering her fear, and her immense determination to try to validate me despite it. I shook myself out of my thoughts and lovingly watched her as I monitored her breathing. She was so close to me I could feel her calm heartbeat, which interestingly always seemed to match mine as she entered the deeper stages of her sleep cycle. I recalled that she was still on her period so I rolled quietly out of bed and fetched some underwear for her and placed a pad on it. I returned to the bed and rolled her over so her bare breasts were facing me and I gently slipped on her underwear as she slept. I admired my work and I massaged I wiped off her chest and I massaged some ointment onto her breasts. She threw her hands above her head in her sleep and twisted her knees together as I squeezed her. I looked down at her peaceful, slightly aroused form and I found myself wanting to utterly destroy her right here. I recovered from my thoughts and I slid back into bed beside her. I do in fact always take care of her, and I always have. Ever since the day I started to consider her my sister I vowed I'd always protect and take care of her. I knew that she didn't always need my protection because she was already so strong, but I would always be ready to give it nonetheless. I smiled as I hugged her toward me. She did, however need me to care for her always. I am, in a way her guardian and I wanted to hear it from her mouth, I needed her to know it and love me for it. I wanted her to know that I'm the only man, the only person, for that matter who can take care of her, and provide her with all she needs and wants. She's my only love and she is the only person who is just as strong as me and is willing to stay with me, and love me fully and unconditionally. She's the only one who is so loving and considerate, yet so beautifully strong and thoughtful. My thoughts drifted to that boy and I smiled at how she could empathize with just about anyone no matter if they deserved it or not. I frowned thinking back to Illumi. Y/n had a tendency to sympathize with him at times and I hated it. I hated how she had went to that classist bastard for help, and not me. I never want that to happen again. I acknowledge that I can be possessive but it's all because I love her. She should've known I wouldn't kill the boy if that's what she wanted. My thoughts drifted back to when I decided I'd kill him after the mission. I snarled at how well she knew me. She knew I'd kill him. She was right to avoid me. If I had found out and she wasn't there to stop me, I'd surely would've. I frowned, examining her features.  I was so lucky to have someone who knew me so well. She knew how to calm me down, made me smile, make me laugh, make me happy. I never want Illumi to feel how she made me feel. If he did, he would never let go. It was too precious a feeling, too pure an emotion to have her gift it to anyone else, and him of all people. I knew she'd never love Illumi the way she loved me, but that didn't mean she wouldn't grow to care for him. I had to keep her away from him, keep her busy with me, keep her mind always on me, instead. I felt her small, soft body against me and as I held her and felt her warm breath on my neck as she slept in my arms, I felt completed. For a awhile I just traced along her body and memorized every curve, angle and edge of her body. From her toes to her head, I committed it all to memory. As I smiled and admired her I saw her phone light up on the nightstand. It made no noise but I saw '2 missed calls from Illumi Zoldyck'. I frowned at how she named him in her phone his actual name, not 'dickwad' or something of the sort, so as to indicate his prick-like nature. I contemplated smashing her phone but she'd just get another one, and a Illumi would no doubt find a way to get in touch with her regardless. All I would b doing is angering her unnecessarily. But still, What could he possibly want now? I snatched her phone and examined it the lock screen. It was a picture of some kind of bee and a flower. I typed in her password (She told me her password, and I'm surprised she never changed it without telling me first. I'm glad she did it, it gave me permission to go through her phone.) and I smiled at her new home screen. It was a picture of me and her from a few years ago when she was on my back and we were both smiling. She wore a crooked smile while triumphantly holding up a cone of melting strawberry ice cream in one hand holding onto my neck with the other arm. I looked at myself and I noticed how I had far less muscle definition in that picture than I do now. I even had a few disgusting freckles dusting my cheeks and a long mop of my bright red hair had been messily ruffled by her. The slight freckles on her face looked cute and enhanced her gleaming eyes  that reminded me of a twinkling galaxy. Still, my freckles didn't flatter my face at all and I was glad I had none today. I too was grinning happily in the photo. It was taken at our day at an amusement park in June as a celebration of both our our birthdays. Mine was June 6th and hers was June 12th, and we went on June 9th, the day between our birthdays. I like to think that her birthday being mine doubled signified how we were born to be together, and how I would be twice the man I was if I had her with me. It was a wonderful day we had spent together then. I could see why she liked that picture but, I looked absolutely ridiculous. So, i decided I'd have to make her change it later to one post-marriage where I looked much more handsome and wasn't 17 and wearing a black t-shirt and shorts with pointed red shoes that curled up at the ends. Well, the shoes were in good taste but still the fact remained that I looked far better now than I did then. ***author says that the picture included at the top is what Hisoka looked like on your screensaver from a few years ago ***

I went into her texts and it was hilarious. Illumi has text her repeatedly every day since the day we left Atlantais. It was 'I miss you y/n' or 'how are you?' Or 'when can I talk to you' or 'can I tell you about who I assassinated today?' She would usually ignore it, it seems but about 5 ago she had said, " illumi I think you should stop texting me like this and get yourself a girlfriend or something, maybe someone else to talk to. I'm married, remember, and it's kind of sad to see you acting like this. Please go live your life, Illumi, forget about me, ok? I already have Hisoka, and we can do the contract stuff but aside from that, we don't really need to interact at all." I smiled at how she reminded Illumi she had me, it was also quite pleasing to see him so desperate for y/n and see how she ignored him or told him to stop. I screenshotted all that and Illumi's desperate texts and sent them to myself for later. I kept reading and saw he had responded with, "this has absolutely nothing to do with Hisoka or you bring married. My love for you is between me and you. I know that you have feelings for me y/n. Be honest, without Hisoka, you'd be mine. He's not good enough for you, y/n, I am. Remember how gentle I was when took your virginity? I love you and you can't deny that you feel for me." My face burned with anger at his words and I eagerly read her reply. It read, "I had sex with you to save Hisoka, who you put your fucking pin in. I don't love you and just because you had your cock inside me and just because I enjoyed a little doesn't mean I want you in any way. Just because I can empathize with you DOES NOT mean I love you like that Illumi! Hisoka is my everything. Illumi, compared to Hisoka, you mean nothing to me. You throw our sex in my face like it's proof i love you. It's not. And, As far as I'm fucking concerned, Hisoka had my heart years before I ever even knew you existed. Even if you succeeded in taking Hisoka from me, God forbid, and you forced me to marry you, I'd kill myself before you ever got the chance to call me yours. I'm his, just his. forever. So, if I were you, I'd think long and fucking hard about the next thing you decide to say and do, Illumi. If you ever try to come between me and Hisoka again, we'll end you and you'll wish you never even learned my name." ***unbeknownst to/unnoticed by Hisoka, A few moments later she had sent, "I think I could live with us being friends but you have to let me go first, please- for your own good. I read every one of your texts every day and I hate seeing you tortured by your love for me. This isn't fair to either of us. Just take care of yourself Illumi and forget about me for a while." *** I silently rejoiced at how she handled him and talked about me. She could've been harder on him but I was just glad she made it clear that she was mine, not his. I didn't bother reading the rest of the texts- and I set her phone back down. I was so glad to have found yet another source of confirmation of our love. I kissed her forehead lightly and I licked the side of her face. She sighed quietly in her sleep and I decided I'd sleep now too. I entwined our legs together and rested my head on top of hers. I thought about how much we both loved each other, and I smiled contentedly, knowing we'd always be together, no matter what and that our love would never die or fade.