I want to breathe

  I want to live

  But I can't wake up from this nightmare

  Cause I'm trapped inside of myself where nothing is alive but dead.

  So come back my Prince and take me away.

  I don't wanna be lonely

  I just want to be yours.

  I wait and wait, day and night in the darkness of hurt

  But all I see is the dangerous devil within me

  I'm wrecked my love, all I do is conceal those truths with ink.

  Those bloodied cuts that no one wants to see.

  Because you're not here, there or anywhere else

  Save me.

  Save me from this hell before I lose control.

  * * *

  How would you have felt when your life was crumbling to pieces? How would have you felt when you couldn't do anything to stop it from happening?

  I don't know how you would've felt but I was dead on the spot. My grief had torn my inside like a tornado, as my tears fell thickly when I saw them cruelly kill my husband and my child inside my womb. It never got see its father who would cherish it like a treasure full of gold, or it's older brother who would play with it non-stop.

  God, why do you have to punish me with so many difficult challenges. I've always been faithful and yet you surprise me with devastation. Why are you doing this to me and not those people kill each other for joy?

  Every day when the sun shone brilliantly with the bright and cheerful virescent colour of the day, I would curse nonstop. It seemed like the world went on without my family, living without the grey and foggy emotions of mine. It should be cold and damp with silent air, but the world didn't like it. The birds still sang and the flowers still bloomed. So I had nothing to do but to struggle to hold back the grief and cry my heart out, feeling bruised, numb, empty.

  When will you prince come back?

  Kang Chul, my dear husband, a webtoon artist, I am so sorry for involving you with me. I had never wanted to fall in love with you, with your books, but I did and involved you with all the nonsense I worked for. But I also loved my job and I loved you. And so I became Mrs Kang and the mother of our child.

  And that was my mistake. 

- To be continued... -