There's A Ghost In My Bedroom - Part Two
Kevin
The show that day, unlike most, ended on a weary and uneasy feel and I told Katherine, one of my advisers from StrexCorp that I was leaving and taking a small trip but would be back by tomorrow, so not to worry when people wonder where I had gone off to.
I hopped into my StrexCar and drove to the city of Night Vale.
The drive from Desert Bluffs to Night Vale wasn't an easy one. The two cities as is widely known, don't like each other for one reason upon another and so we try our best not to interact with one another but every once in a while there are situations where one will go to another and as hard as it is, it can be done.
It must've been what estimated to a hour before I arrived in the city of Night Vale. The beautiful evening mix of lavender and plum were painted across the sky as the glow cloud did it's best in attempt to match it. As much as I love my home and birth city of Desert Bluffs, there's something about Night Vale that just makes me incapable of hating the city.
After being here so many times it's not hard to figure out what's what around here as it made it quick for me to find the radio station, where Cecil Palmer remained in his studio, now off air. Holding a small piece of laminated or a special kind of paper in his hand. Maybe even a processed photo it was. But if anything happened after our conversation on air, it was hard to tell because how he looked seemed to portray his voice over air, just a bit worse than earlier.
For those of you with curious minds I will confirm for you that Cecil was in fact crying. Something we don't do in Desert Bluffs simply because it's not productive. Having a smile on is productive. Anything but crying is productive.
Even if you'd want to cry, even if you do feel sadness, why express it? There is no reason productive, working reason behind it.
Whatever he held, he must've decided it wasn't important because he tore it in half and threw it on the ground.
"So stupid... it just..." is what I managed to hear.
Cecil bit down on his lip for a moment, hugging his knees and he gasped. What for? My best bet would be what anyone would guess: air. And I got a clear shot of him.
I'll spare you the parts nobody would want to hear and leave it at it just wasn't pretty.
Somehow I managed that he didn't see me, but I decided to step outside and possibly try calling the Night Vale citizen.
And I dialed his personal number and it must've taken me to voicemail at least a dozen times before he answered.
"What do you want Kevin!?"
I had pissed him off.
"You lied to me earlier."
"About what?"
"After whatever happened and whatever went off in your mind," I tried to explain," when I asked if you were okay you said you were."
"Yes, there was no lie."
It sounded as if nothing had ever happened.
"Don't lie to me, Cecil," I tried to sound not creepy because I have been made aware that at times my voice goes up in pitch and makes it sound kind of disturbing," I heard your voice, Cecil, that is not the voice of a happy man."
"How would you know the difference in my emotions?"
"I don't know, Cecil, I just do," I tried to reason," we have argued and bickered and revolted one another for years and I have heard you confident in things you believe in before. I have heard you talk about Carlos and how happy you get when things like Carlos or Dana or Janice come up. What you sounded like over the radio was not that, Cecil. It was the sound of a man who lost something, who wasn't sure what they lost but who also knew exactly what they lost. Has something been going on in Night Vale we could help out with?"
He gave up fighting that something was wrong.
"No, it's... no, this is personal."
I decided to change the topic.
"Well anyways, did your brother ever answer the phone that day?" I decided to ask. "Did you ever get hold of him?"
For a moment he was silent and his voice got quiet again.
"Not that day," he assured me," but eventually..."
He stopped himself.
"Kevin, have you ever lost somebody in a way that they don't even die but they're just not who they were at one point in time?"
"Is that what happened?" I thought it'd be safe to ask," does Carlos know about any of this?"
"He knows," Cecil assured me," told me to talk to them but that's hard to do when they don't know who you are anymore. And when you don't have a way to really talk to them."
"Well maybe I can help!" I suggested," I'm not Night Vale's biggest fan or anything, but we work somewhat along the same lines, it's only right to help!"
"No, Kevin..." Cecil declined the offer," I don't think you can help with this."
"And why is that?"
"If you'd know the answer to that... maybe you'd understand the problem a bit more," he tried to tell me," I have to go, Kevin. I just got home and-"
"You're in the studio, I'm parked right next to your car."
"You stalked me?"
"Went to pay a simple visit, you sounded like you could use the help and the company. When I saw what state you were in, I elected a phone call would be the better option."
Was it a horrible question?
Yes.
Did I consider that?
No.
"What's your brother's name?" I asked," I never realized you had one."
"Most people don't anymore."
"Why not?"
"He ran away."
You could hear his voice shake with emotion as he tried his damnest to keep himself secure, together, and okay but there was so much pushing that wall down it was impossible and he let in another gasp of air.
"I'm fine," he assured me," it's okay, I'm fine, nothing's wrong whatsoever."
"Cecil-"
"Shut up, Kevin."
"I-"
"I said shut up!" He raised his voice for the first time of what I had heard," okay, you can't help me! Even if you wanted to, it will never help me, Kevin! Just go back to your stupidly happy town with your stupidly happy people and enjoy your stupidly happy life! Not everything is smiles and rays of sunshine, Kevin!"
"No, but it can be."
"How!?" I heard something over the phone as he seemingly just lost it," how, Kevin!? Okay, you don't know me anymore! I can't let my life be like that because it's just not what it is! It's not what it'll ever be!"
"If you'd just let it-"
"I can't! As long as you're there and you're talking to me as the person you are in the time we're in, I can't Kevin!"
You could hear him fall apart at the seams.
"What... what?" I was so confused at that. Yes, we argued and bickered a lot?
But my god, I didn't think I was that bad to him.
"Forget it," he tried to resolute," just forget it. None of it matter anyways."
"Cecil, what did I do?"
"I already said forget it! You wouldn't know anyways!"
"Maybe I would if you told me!" I started to get a little upset, yes. He blames me for all of this and I don't even know what I did.
"No you wouldn't because you never fucking listened and maybe if you could've listened for once in your damn life, Kevin, this wouldn't be happening!" He yelled at me," but no! You had to do it anyways!"
"What!?" I was pissed off now, I didn't even know what he was accusing me of not listening about," What didn't I do, Cecil!? I don't even know what you're talking about!"
"No, of course you don't! Because you let them do what they did to you!"
"Who!?"
"Strex, who fucking else controls your whole damn life these days!"
"Strex does not-"
"I call bullshit."
"Strex doesn't control our lives, it's been around my whole life, it's helped me throughout my whole life."
"No, it hasn't!"
"How would you know?"
"You've only lived in Desert Bluffs for what... 17 years?" He tried to lie about it.
"I was born and raised there!"
"No you weren't!"
"Then explain why I'm so valued there!"
"Because you chose it! Because they know you wanted what they did to you!"
"What did they do to me, Cecil? Huh? Why do you care so much about what they did to me? I thought you hated me. Kevin of Desert Bluffs. Anything is better than the Bluffs, right!?"
He started to choke up.
"I always cared," he told me," whether you saw it or not, I always fucking cared, Kevin. I hate the Bluffs and everything they stand for, everything Strex stands for and I hate what they turned you into. But there's no point in talking you out of it when you don't even know what you'd be going back to."
"Cecil," I said in a calmly manner," take a breath and calm down. Relax. With the case at hand, what happened to your brother after he ran away? When you got in contact with him once again."
"Why do you care?"
"I don't know, but I do, and like you said Carlos' advice isn't going to get you far."
It was silent as I hung up and just headed upstairs, ignoring the desk lady and booking it to Cecil's studio, bursting through the doors as he sat on his swivel stool, staring outside to the city. His nose and eyes were both red, his eyes puffed and his cheeks glazed from tears. A ripped up photo was evident on the ground and so was a framed photo, which is what I heard crash earlier I can only imagine.
I tried talking to him and he wouldn't move and when I moved the chair he wouldn't look at me, he wouldn't talk to me. He wanted nothing to do with me.
And for some reason, I couldn't let that be.
Eventually, through enough irritation, he spoke.
"Go away, Kevin."
"Why? Does my very presence make you uncomfortable?"
"Yes, it actually does. Go bother somebody else, anybody else. Just leave me alone."
He was fighting something and he didn't want to tell me.
"Why do I bother you so much? What did I do, Cecil? In terms that I'll understand what you're talking about."
It was the calm before the storm.
"Why do you think?"
"I don't know, that's why I'm asking you," I expressed to the Night Vale radio host," Cecil, I'm trying to be your friend and to help you. I can't do that if you won't tell me what's going on, why you refuse to let me get involved."
"You're already involved, Kevin, you just don't realize it."
"So what part do I play?"
He just shook his head.
"It's pointless, you wouldn't believe it anyways."
"You're my double, it can't be that hard to elaborate."
"Yeah. Double."
"Yeah, we're doubles."
"That used to be a joke."
"Since when?"
"Since we were little."
"We didn't know each other when we were little."
"Not that you remember."
"You're saying my memory is incorrect?"
"I'm saying you were given false memories of 15 years worth."
For a second it was quiet.
"Mom died, you know," he told me as if we shared the same mom," she killed herself. Abby wasn't very happy about having to move back home because of it."
"Cecil, we're doubles, not twins. We have... You have parents. I don't."
"Everyone has parents."
"We're not twins."
"Where's your family?"
"I don't have one. I never had one."
It took me a minute to realize what he was trying to get at.
"Are you trying to convince me that we're twins?"
"I'm just saying what is."
"We don't have the same parents."
"Then where are yours?"
"I don't know. Where is your brother?"
For a second it was silent as I thought he just didn't want to say, but that wasn't the case. Not at all. He bit down on his lip and looked back outside.
"About six inches away from me."
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