i bury myself in reading
i bury myself in writing
i bury myself in work
i bury myself in activities
i bury myself in anything i can find

but then it's suddenly past midnight and there are no more activities i can bury myself in

there's no babysitting taking up most of my attention

there's no chores to be done at this wretched hour

there's no math calling my name

only sleep calls for me now but the thoughts in my head keep us apart

too far apart

the thoughts hurt more often than not and they make me question myself in ways i do not like

it was simpler before...