i feel like i am just existing.

i don't know where i am going or what i am doing.

nobody told me that this was what "teenage angst" was like.

i thought teenage angst was crying over the boy next door.

i thought it was wanting to move across the country to discover yourself.

i thought it was dying your hair and painting your room and sneaking out at night to get away from suffocation.

i did not think it was staring at my wall for five hours while i try to sleep.

i did not think it was moving like a robot, doing what you need to out of sheer necessity to stay alive.

i thought it was more sadness and anger than it was emptiness and anxiety.