It's so weird how quickly things change. The first chapter of this work is a song by Taylor Swift called I'd Lie. I love that song, and I associated it with someone I had a very big crush on. I thought I would never get over her, I thought I was destined to forever yearning for her presence, yet here I am, two years later, I miss her. It's a different yearning though. I want to catch up with her, I want to be her friend again. I mean, we still talk occasionally, but it's shaky. I don't love her like I thought I did.

I hope that happens again. I hope I look at the things I write these days at two am and say "why couldn't I see the light at the end of the tunnel?" I hope it gets better.

On a different note, I realized what people mean by different kinds of love. I loved her, and now I love someone else. It feels different, but not any more or less intense. Just, different.

I listened to Taylor Swift, switching a lyric or two to match with me perfectly. That was my pining then. Now, I lay awake writing poetry while listening to Halsey or Melanie Martinez.

I loved her, loved.

It's weird, to type it out. I've known it for a while, but... It's weird.