no i do not want to exist anymore

i want to curl in on myself, wrap my arms around my legs multiple times, tie them tightly to make sure i stay like that

i want to be turned inside out. my skin inside and my muscles and bones on the outside being aired out and free while my skin warms up

once im right again, bones where they need to be, i want to peel my skin off, and air it out as well, so it can stop itching and crawling and buzzing

once that's strapped back right i want to dig my nails into my skull and pull it apart, and free my brain, let it spill over everywhere and the thoughts and horrors from it can fly away and not be trapped inside the cages of my skull

once i am all put back together again, i want to be burned into ashes, and be blown away, to be one with the wind