Title: Rooftop Rebellion

Author: HerCrystalHart

Genre: Teen Fiction

Remember how I mentioned badass girls in my last review? That was intentional. 

First of all, I would like to commend you for your range in writing. It's hard to have two MC's that are so different from each other, since Jonah is everything Brooklyn from JOV isn't. (I'm a one-trick pony. I write my MC like how I would write myself. I have to give credit where credit is due.)

Now, moving on to the actual content.

I'm not a fan of prologues. A lot of times, they're unnecessary, and they give too much away without giving anything valuable in return. I know a lot of people use them to create interest, and on a website like Wattpad where you don't have much time to impress a reader, I can see why, but I think the information prologues give would be better put into the actual story. Jonah is clearly aware enough of her situation, so I would suggest using her narration to uncover the details and depth of what is going on, rather than having a completely different perspective in the prologue.

But that's just a preference of mine.

At the time I'm writing this, you have six chapters in your book. Your title fits well even this early, and the cover is a visual representation of Jonah: dark, mysterious, and intimidating. Well done.

I find myself wanting to know more about Jonah, but you keep her story locked up in a cage in her mind, covered with a blanket of harshness and sarcasm so no one can see inside. I'm not sure if you should reveal more, though. I think I like the mystery the way it is: set the stage, then go back and paint in the story.

The narration is casual and humorous, which is actually a huge plus. Some first-person teen fics go into great detail about the surroundings, character descriptions, etc. using flowery adjectives that sound pretty, but they don't contribute much to the story and clash with the typical voice. Description is necessary, but if you are using a first-person POV, then the description needs to coincide with the narrator's usual voice. I think you do this well. Jonah's descriptions usually have a harsh undertone, which fits with her personality. 

And Abbi. Sweet, sweet Abbi. Once again, you balance the characters' personalities well, since she's a little clueless, sweet, friendly. She's a darling, really. She complements Jonah, offering a specific set of skills to which Jonah otherwise wouldn't have access. I know Jonah almost looks down on Abbi for her more feminine interests, but they have played a significant role so far, and I'm excited to see what Abbi offers in the future.

And don't even get me started on the humor created by the differences in their personalities.

It's something else.

In this story, all of the characters seem noteworthy and have their own distinctive personalities. Although we haven't seen much from Jax and Brennan, I feel particularly drawn to them. I hope we get to see more of them.

Your grammar gets better throughout the book, and it seems you put more of an emphasis on it. Number one, it shows you care, and number two, it makes it easier to read. Thumbs up.

Final Assessment: Overall, once again, I think your characters are your strong point, and Jonah's narration kills me sometimes. I love some quality sarcasm. A lot of the important details that help us figure out what's happening are laid out at the end of the chapter, so it's almost like a puzzle piece as a reward for our cooperation. (That sounds weird, but it's a compliment, I promise.) 

I would recommend this to people who love sarcasm, rude characters, and a little bit of mystery.