"I never even enjoyed geography," Heidi mutters to me.

I hum under my breath, the two of us heading back to the farmhouse after practicing some hand to hand combat down near the lake. "Me neither," I agree.

"Sam won't shut up about it though. It was his favourite."

I smirk. "That boy has never been very interesting."

"Kayla!" Heidi exclaims.

"I'm kidding." I nudge her shoulder. He is her husband after all. "Each to their own."

Heidi shakes her head at me, eyes twinkling with amusement. "You're awful."

"Sounds to me like you need to distract him better," I reply.

Her brows furrow. "What?"

I shrug. "You want to distract him from chatting shit about volcanoes and rivers, correct?"

She's amused. "I suppose."

"Give him a blow job."

"Kayla!" 

"It'll do the trick, I promise." I grin.

She laughs. "Is that what you used to do? With..." Her voice trails off, the smile slipping from her face as she realises her mistake. My heart jumps slightly in my chest at the mention. "Kay, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean—"

"Jace was always going on about video games," I interrupt her with a small smile on my face, reminiscing over my deceased husband. She thinks she's upset me, but she hasn't. "COD, Red Dead Redemption, GTA, Rocket League... God, I can't even remember what the rest of them were called. It was incessant," I continue. A small smile reappears on her face. "He missed them more than anything, that much was clear," I pause before nudging her shoulder. "The blow job trick worked every. Single. Time."

"Kayla!" She's squealing all over again. I laugh at her red cheeks before hooking my arm over her shoulder.

We round the corner of the barn, heading back towards the farmhouse. There's a pick-up truck in the driveway, a few members of our group shifting jerry cans towards it, inching them across the floor without picking them up. What the hell are they doing?

Narrowing my eyes, I pull my hand from Heidi's shoulder and head towards them. Heidi sticks to my heels.

"What are you doing with those?" I question as soon as I'm within hearing range.

Lyla's the closest one to me, turning with a smile. "Riley asked us to put them in the truck."

"Why?"

She shrugs.

"All of them?" I ask.

She nods. Carl appears behind her, smiling at me as he asks her to help him. I watch for a few seconds before shaking my head.

"Wait," I say. Lyla's the only one who hesitates. "Why are we doing this? Where is this truck even from?"

"Riley and I picked it up during last night's petrol run," Carl tells me.

"For what reason?" I respond.

"To help us transport all the petrol."

I just blink at him. "To where? Doesn't that seem a little counter-productive to you?"

"How is it counter-productive, Kay-Kay?"

Gritting my teeth at the nickname, I turn on my heel to face the man behind me. "I will murder you if you use that name one more time."

He smirks before stepping around me and bending down to pick up one of the huge cans with Carl. Stepping forward, I quickly press my hand onto the top, making it more difficult.

"Jesus, Kayla." He gives up, stepping back with a scowl on his face. "What's wrong with you?"

"I want to understand what you're doing."

"We're putting all the petrol into one vehicle so it's easier to move it when we need to."

I frown. "I thought we were finding a petrol tanker and bringing it here? Not moving the petrol?"

"We are."

"Then why—"

"Just in case it doesn't work out that way," Riley retorts, interrupting me. "We might need to move it all."

"How do you plan on hiding this truck from the main road?" I point past him. "Don't you think a truck full of petrol is suspicious to any passing Enforcers?"

"Obviously we'll move it around the back of the farmhouse." His jaw ticks with annoyance.

"And if they come to investigate around the back of the farmhouse? And what about when we need to move it? Are you securing these cans with anything, because from what it looks like to me, if we need to brake, they're just going to fly out the back and spill over the road."

"We're looking for rope—"

"Rope." I laugh. "That's sounds like a sturdy plan."

Riley slams his hand down on the can and steps closer. "Do you have a better idea?"

"To not move the petrol," I confirm. "The plan is to get a tanker here. To fill it up, here."

"It's good to have a back-up plan," he retorts. "We might need to take the petrol somewhere. What's the problem with storing it on a bloody vehicle, ready to move?"

"For all the reasons I just outlined," I counter.

Riley's jaw tightens even more and he takes a step towards me, opening his mouth to respond before he's interrupted. 

"Looks like Kayla has outwitted you, Riley." Anna appears beside Heidi, smirking as she crosses her arms across her chest.

"Shut up, Princess." He spits out the words, shooting her a glare. My brows rise.

Princess. So I'm not the only one who has a nickname from him. 

Why does Princess rub me up the wrong way?

Anna. His Princess.

A glare settles over my face and I spit out, "It's a stupid idea. I shouldn't be surprised though, seeing as it came from you."

"At least I have some fucking ideas," he argues. In a signature Riley-Kayla exchange, I bite down on my tongue and flip my middle finger up at him before stepping back, turning on my heel and storming into the farmhouse.

I plough into the kitchen, cursing under my breath and sinking onto one of the chairs at the table. Emilia and Kieran are already there, sketching something out on the paper in front of them. Emilia raises her eyebrows at me, dropping the pencil in her hand and shooting a glance at Kieran who coughs.

"What's up, Kayla?" he asks.

"Fucking Riley," I grumble. Emilia just smirks at my response, picking her pencil back up and pouring over the map in front of her.

Kieran chuckles under his breath before pushing away from the table and standing. "I'm going to go and find Anna."

"Your sister is outside," I mutter. "With Riley."

Kieran cocks a brow before nodding his head and ducking out the room.

"With Riley, ay?" Emilia murmurs. "Do I sense some jealousy?"

I force out a laugh before smirking. "As if."

She just nods, ducking her head once more and leaving me seething in silence.

*~*~*

Strong arms are coiled around my own, holding me back as I struggle to tear myself forwards. Another pair, less strong, but just as wielding, are curled around my middle. Between the two, I have no hope of escaping, but that doesn't stop me from trying. Tears mist my vision, coating my cheeks as I roughly shove against the familiar warm hands around my stomach. Those ones are Rayden's.

"Get off of me," I sob, shoving, clawing, scratching at his skin. Before us, an Enforcer kicks his foot forward, connecting directly with Jace's head and forcing it sideways. Lying on the ground, his eyes meet mine and I cry out, shoving my shoulder upwards and connecting with something hard. Someone curses behind me, and the hands around my arms loosen. I wrench myself forward but suddenly they're back, grip tightening, helping Rayden to stop me. "No!" I cry.

A different Enforcer places one foot over Jace before leaning down and grabbing hold of his hair, yanking him onto his knees.

My stomach plummets, panic rising inside my chest. My husband has blood pouring from his forehead, his nose, his ear. I feel sick.

"Let him go!" Screams leave my mouth. "Jace!"

I vaguely hear others arguing for Jace, pleading for his life, but I don't care to focus on what they're saying or who they are. Instead, my arms continue to batter against Rayden's hold as the tears continue to fall, wrecking me from the inside out.

Finally, the Enforcer holding Jace's hair steps back, letting him go. I exhale, blinking in surprise at the reprieve. Jace's eyes meet mine, nearly swollen shut, and he gives me a weak smile. Just as my lips curl upwards, the Enforcer tugs something out from his back. 

The loudest gut-wrenching scream leaves my lips and my knees give out. I collapse to the ground before shoving my arms back harder, fighting as hard as I can to free myself. I need to get to Jace. He needs me. 

They're going to kill him. They're going to shoot him.

There's a gun pointed at his forehead.

"Stop, Kayla!" Rayden pleads with me. "You can't save him."

"I can," I cry in response, but it's inaudible.

"Please, Kayla," the other pair of resistance begs me. I finally know who it is. Sam. Emilia's best friend. Is she here too?

I don't care.

I need to save Jace.

The Enforcer raises the gun. Presses it against Jace's head. My husband closes his eyes. The Enforcer grins. 

A heartbroken roar erupts from my lips, hands on the ground now, Rayden holding me to his chest. I'm running out of fight.

The gunshot ricochets around the street. I fall silent. Shock freezes my body and Rayden uses the moment to clutch me closer.

Jace's lifeless eyes meet mine as his body falls to the floor. Dead.

All because I chose not to go to work today.

A panicked gasp erupts from me as I shoot upright, breathing heavily, sweat coating my forehead. 

Jace.

The barn is dark, only a small candle lantern burning in the far corner, near the exit. Relatively quiet snores fill the room, huddles of bodies filling the floor.

I'm covered by a blanket, wrapped up in one of Rayden's black hoodie and Jace's scarves. My hand flies to the material as tears pool in my eyes. It was a nightmare.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I lift my other hand, wiping away the wetness that coats my cheeks and staring at the candle flickering, trying to forget the memories that haunt me as soon as night falls.

The sound of everyone else asleep is anything but settling, and after a minute, I shove my feet into my shoes and gather the blanket into my arms before standing. Tiptoeing between the various bodies, I walk out the door and inhale the freezing, crisp December air.

I lean back against the wood of the barn and close my eyes. Jace's grinning face springs to mind. My eyes snap open.

Pushing away from the wood, I step into the wet grass and walk down the hill towards the lake. The night is illuminated by the moon, barely a cloud in sight, for which I am grateful.

Eventually I stop beside a tree stump, sinking onto the wood and staring out at the peaceful, calm water. My shoulders relax instantly and I smile, clutching at the scarf and drawing the hoodie up higher so that it's against my face. It's all I have left of them. Both of them.

Neither of them deserved what happened to them. And I'd do anything to bring them back. To have one more day with them.

An hour.

A minute.

But that's impossible.

I exhale before inhaling. Their scents have gone from the clothes. They went a long time ago, back when we were still in the safe house in Nottingham. But I still haven't given in and washed them. I can't.

"Kayla?" A soft voice murmurs from behind me. I don't turn around. The grass crunches under their feet before I feel their presence beside me. "Are you okay?" Again, I don't reply. They shift slightly before a blanket is placed across my shoulders. "Is that another blanket?" Riley asks, pointing to my lap. I nod and he gently picks it up before draping it over me, layering me up.

"Thanks," I say softly.

He sits beside me on the large stump. "What are you doing out here?" he asks. I purse my lips. "Couldn't sleep?"

I clutch my hands together. "I had a nightmare," I admit.

Riley's demeanour changes. He shifts forward, resting his elbows onto his legs. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I sigh, extending my legs. "It was just a memory. A memory of... my husband getting shot."

"Your husband," he repeats.

"Yeah. I had one from the whole arranged marriage—"

"I know," he says softly. "Zac told me."

I roll my lip between my teeth before replying, "Right."

Riley's quiet for half a minute before a question slips out of him. "You loved him?"

I shrug, despite it being dark. "No. But, I felt... strongly for him."

Silence reigns between us and I close my eyes, listening to the sounds of the water trickling, swaying back and forth ever so slightly. It's not a still lake, connected to the river at the edge of the farmland.

"I didn't have a wife," Riley pipes up. "I ran away from the State before that was possible. But, I've lost other people," he pauses. "The nightmare memories haunt me too."

I suck in a breath and straighten my spine. "Then you know what it's like. Congratulations."

"Hey, now," Riley comments, slapping his hand down on my thigh. "Don't get defensive. I wasn't dismissing your feelings."

I sigh. "I know."

"You know what I do when I have a nightmare like that?" 

"What?"

His hand tightens and warmth spreads through my leg. "I count to a hundred."

"Seriously, I—"

"Listen to me," he cuts me off, nudging my shoulder with his. "I count to a hundred. Once that's done, I go back to the first memory I have with that person. Reminisce that, whether it be good or bad," he pauses. "Then I find my favourite memory of them. Relive it in my head at least twice."

"That works?" I question.

Riley's spare hand rests on his own leg. "It calms me down at least."

I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. It finally dislodges, clearing away along with the remaining horror of my nightmare. "Thank you," I tell him honestly.

"No problem." If it wasn't dark, I would be able to tell if he's smiling at me. Suddenly, he shivers and I shift the blanket off my shoulders, sweeping it over him and inching closer so that we're both covered. "Thank you," he says softly.

I shift my feet closer to his, banking on his body warmth now that I've lost half of my layers. Already, I feel warmer.

"I'm sorry about earlier," I say.

Riley chuckles under his breath. "No need to apologise. Differences of opinion are what drive for better decisions."

"You think?"

"I know," he comments. "Zac wants us to find a tanker tomorrow."

I breathe in and nod. "This whole plan rests on me driving a tanker," I mutter. "I've never even driven before."

"Never?" He sounds surprised.

"Nope," I confirm. "I told Zac I wanted to learn."

Riley hums under his breath. "I used to race around town in my Peugeot 208 before the war."

I smile, amused. "A Peugeot 208, huh?"

"Absolutely. Loved it."

"You're a really cool guy, you know that?"

"Thanks." His shoulder bumps mine all over again.

"So you were in the army, and driving around in your Peugeot 208 before the war," I say. "You're like... old."

He guffaws, a loud bluster of laughter spilling out his lips. "Old? Seriously, Kay-Kay."

"I'm serious." I tease.

"I hardly think twenty six is old."

"It is compared to my measly twenty one."

Riley scoffs. "Hardly."

"Is."

"Not," he replies.

I smile and my head finds it's way to his shoulder, resting there as I look up at the near enough full moon. His chin grazes the side of my head and then it's gone, replaced by his own head, relaxing against me. 

I got woken up by a terrible nightmare, but right now, there's nowhere else I'd rather be than here.

Riley's voice is practically a whisper when he says, "I'll teach you to drive."

"You will?"

"Why not?"

"Because I'll probably irritate you," I exclaim.

"Sounds like fun." I can feel him grinning against my head.

"You're an idiot," I mutter.

"So complimentary, Kay-Kay."

I grind my teeth at the nickname before deciding to let it lie. For now. "What are you doing up, anyway?" I ask, curious.

"I'm on guard."

My head flies up, smacking into his.

"Ow, Jesus Christ." He rubs the side of his head.

"On guard?" I splutter. "Then what the hell are you doing down here?"

"I saw someone. Had to check it out," he argues before pointing at me.

"Riley! Who else is on guard?"

"Lyla."

"And you left her on her own?"

He shrugs. "She's a big girl."

I shake my head, standing from the tree stump and tearing the blankets away from him. "You need to get back up there, right now!"

"You're such a spoil sport," he groans, slowly standing from the wood and towering over me.

"What if an Enforcer comes by?" I hiss in response, reaching up and smacking him around the arm. "You're awful!"

"Always the flatterer," he comments. "Come on then." His hand rests at the small of my back.

"What?"

"I'm not leaving you down here on your own," he exclaims. "It's dangerous. What if an Enforcer comes by?"

"I'm going to punch you," I mutter under my breath. He laughs, but I give in, letting him lead me up the hill before depositing me at the entrance of the barn. 

When I settle down on the floor and close my eyes, I don't have another nightmare.