~A Dead End~

"You lying bastard!" Dolores spat with so much venom encased in her voice. Her palm stung painfully at the slap she'd delivered to Nicolas but it didn't come close to the feeling of his betrayal and the fact that he was blatantly lying to her face.

"You were paid to make me fall in love with you and humiliate me after our first sex, right?" She pressed further, giving his shoulder a hard shove at the same time. It got even worse when he remained mute and refused to meet her eyes. "Answer me!"

Nicolas sighed, averting his eyes again. "Yes." He didn't mind coming out with the entire truth if it entailed healing the hurt he'd brought to her.

"Well, here's your chance now. Do what he asked you to. You don't want to go against your boss's order now, do you?" Her tone was dripping with sarcasm as she pressed herself close to him, trying to kiss him.

He raised his hands to her shoulder in a bid to gently push her away from him. "No, Dolores. Please stop."

"No, do it. I should be able to get you out of my system once it happens. We can even spice it up further by making a video, maybe you'll get the gratification you've been seeking." Her voice cracked towards the end of her words and tears spilled out of her eyes. "You're such an animal, Nicolas."

Alarmed, he rushed forward to wrap his arms around her despite her feeble attempts at shoving him away. She gave up eventually and began hitting him repeatedly. Her sobs as they poured out of her, made his heart heavy with too much guilt; guilt that he'd hurt the one person that he thought he could protect. No matter how hard he had tried to bring himself to reveal all that went down between he and Carlos, he found himself distracted by her sunny smiles and bubbly attitude.

He always failed to.

"Everything I've ever done in my life, every bad decision I've taken wasn't entirely for my selfish interests. I'm not going to defend my errors but I want you to hear me out first." She pushed herself out of his hold, wrapping an arms around herself as she stepped away,  placing enough distance between them.

"Start talking."

He looked at the meters between them and his heart only tore at the realization of what it meant. He pushed that thought away so he could talk to her without attempting to draw her close to himself. It took him a deep intake of breath for him to begin his explanation about how it all began.

"Carlos had always paid I and the other guys to cover every of his mess. At the end, one of us takes the fall for his carelessness. Remember George? He was expelled because he kept secrets when he should have told the school authorities who vandalized school property. That should have been Carlos instead." His hands by his side folded into a tight fist as he recalled the foolish risks he'd taken for money.

"That day at the cafeteria when you blatantly rejected him, he was unable to contain the embarassment you caused him. He asked me t-to-- He asked that I tried to make you fall for me and cause you the same height of embarassment you did him. I didn't want to but the money he was offering was quite a lot. I initially agreed to, but on the night we went out, when I saw your blue eyes light up, I knew you were gonna be a difficult one."

Dolores stared at him with so much disgust that was evident in the manner with which she gave him a once over. "You think I'm going to believe all of that crap? Why not try telling me something plausible? Look at the car you drive, the house you live in, and you have the nerve to keep lying to my face?"

He shook his head slowly with a sad smile tugging at his lips. "You read books a lot and I'm sure you know something about not judging a book by its cover, you should apply that rule now. Carlos gave mouth watering offers I couldn't afford to refuse. My family was neck deep in depths which my father couldn't pay."

Her hard expression seemed to falter. "But when I saw him, he looked okay. Wasn't he working?"

Nicolas scoffed. "Working? He'd been bed ridden from partial stroke for more than a year. I couldn't afford to take him to a proper hospital for his treatments. A doctor friend of his was the one who offered to take care of him at a price I was able to pay weekly. My part-time job also did its bit. Before his health could take a downward sail, your father met him."

"But your car--"

"--was bought through the generous tips Carlos offered. I saved enough to be able to get myself a ride so I could convey myself and my sister to and fro school. Also explains why I couldn't drop Aurora in the school compound but rather drop her off somewhere near so she could continue on foot. If Carlos ever found out that she was my sister, she would be exposed to a greater danger. I know what he's capable of."

"You could have reported him to the school authority, to the police--"

"You think I didn't think about that? I did but Carlos' father is not one to be messed with. Simeon was the only one who refused to be moved by Carlos' threats. He innocently tagged along for a while but stopped after some time when he noticed the truth of what was indeed going on. I'm sorry I hid all of this from you." He propped himself on a desk, pressed his face into his palms. Shame and exhaustion creeped into his features making him unwilling to say more.

Dolores dragged her eyes away from how pathetic he looked, sitting on the desk with a slouched back and his demeanour downcast. "Initially, I was wary of you, but later on, I felt your apologies and kind actions were done out of a sense of remorse or repentance for how you've treated me in the past. It was too sus but Adelina suggested I gave you a chance. I didn't regret listening to her until now." She raised a hand to wipe the lone tear that escaped. "Why choose to tell me at this time when all the trust I have for you is gone? Why do what you did at the party?"

"Because Carlos threatened to break us. Break me." His voice went up a notch, cracking as a result of the pain which consumed his being. Still, he continued. "He threatened to expose me but when I told him you knew everything, he said he knew where Aurora was but would only disclose it on the condition that I fulfilled my part of the deal."

She couldn't bring herself to say anything else in reply. She tried to make herself believe he was lying to her but the truth was too glaring to ignore. No wonder Carlos always seemed to appear from the shadows and feed things into her head right before Nicolas came into view. At the parking space in school and at the prom. All the signs were there but she paid them no heed.

Nicolas, wanting to dispel the guilt embedded inside him, seized her silence as an opportunity to continue, damning whatever might happen afterwards.

"If my mom didn't walk away, my dad wouldn't have struggled with his health and I wouldn't have to deny my sister in public or try to get close to Carlos." He felt anger build up with each word he spelt out. "No other person was footing the bills. Every of his so called siblings we reached out to, they all had their different tales to tell. Carlos was the only one who could help despite how I got the money. There was the house maintenance, light bills and grocery, Aurora's incessant demands including her MacBook and there was me trying to shoulder everything. I'm a victim as well for being roped into this." Aggressively, he wiped the first tear that betrayed his emotions. But that wasn't the end.

"While everyone else had a normal teenage life, I spent mine being the temporary breadwinner. It wasn't easy yet I carried on." At this point, he stepped away from the desk to slowly approach her. She didn't flinch from him as expected. She stood there matching his look of brokenness with an indifferent one.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you the way I did but I couldn't help it, I needed the money else my family would starve. But with all that has happened, I don't regret being with you or asking you to be mine. You made me see people in a better light even when I didn't believe in their salvation. You were my salvation, Dolores. I figured out early enough that I couldn't hurt you when you gazed into my soul through my eyes. I swear, I fell a thousand times over for you." His eyes suddenly burned with tears he'd withheld for years. Tears he kept while trying to be the pillar of support for everyone he loved.

Her expression suddenly softened and against her better judgement, Dolores found herself opening her arms to offer an embrace. Nicolas didn't mind it at all. All his male ego and pride dropped to nothing when he let himself be engulfed in her arms. The tears did come, racking his body and washing away memories of the times he'd spent behind closed doors beating himself up for taking decisions he had no control over.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. I'm sorry for being so insensitive while you were facing the worst storms of your life." She uttered, her hand making up and down movements on his back in a soothing rub.

He pulled away, feeling extremely embarassed but trying his hardest best not to let it show. "I should apologize for keeping things from you at all. A relationship shouldn't be built on lies and deceit but it's what I've done all this while."

Dolores raised a finger to halt his words. "You did that for your family. If you hadn't, who knows what would have happened."

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Aurora is still missing. What difference does it make? Nothing! All my heroic deeds eventually became naught."

Dolores felt the beat of her heart spike up at the mention of his sister. She was still unsure of his reaction, but it was the next right thing to do. "Nicolas?" She dragged in a shuddering breath. "I believe she is somewhere safe."

~~~{•}~~~

One word for Dolores because I have none.

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~~Chignature~~