I kind of thought you loved me
That's why I was so flirty
Told myself "he's not gonna hurt you"
And allowed myself to fall for you
What else should I be thinking?
We texted a lot
You still spoke about how pretty I was
And how you liked me
Invited me to the cinema in our town
To watch a movie you knew I wanted to see
And when I told you you were my friend
You were so sad for the rest of the day
And so I admitted I had a crush on you
Not loudly, just to myself
And the same evening
In our late night conversations
You told me how you still loved the German girl
How she's your best friend and crush
Although she lives so far away
And I told you you were gonna get together somehow
That I'm happy you have her
That I won't judge you for loving her
Because I don't care who you date
As long as they're not hurting you
And then you wanted to call me
But I told you my voice was cracking
You told me you still wanted to hear me
Which got me to my knees again
And I couldn't tell you that I was criing
Because you just broke my heart
And that I couldn't give a fuck about who you dated
Because I hate them if they're not me
And that I was giving you a chance
Because you seemed to want it
And you kind of reminded me
Of that boy with a palm tree tattoo from my dreams
I got tired of waiting at
But of course could never stop loving
Just hoped to make school days happier
With you by my side
But you already found the girl of your dreams
Only took me as a friend
And I really am happy for you
Because I'm not so selfish
But once again
I'm sad for me.

This poem is so so clearly written... if you are the guy it's written for, you totally know who I am. I kind of feel almost in danger while publishing it... I know most of you are confused, but this poem is for him and I'm sure he'd get it. It's a complicated story but you know, it ends up as it always does - I'm criing alone, heart smashed into a million pieces. By the way, I found some poems I wrote about a year ago, would you like me to add here as well? I would love to hear your opinion of this poem as well... or of my situation, or just about anything. I love hearing people's opinions. It inspires me a lot.
Love,
S.D.🖤