Chapter 10: "I have no feelings for Yanna."
(Yanna POV)
Class was normal after the fight. Yoongi sat next to me. He even agreed to teach me how to fight like he can! Should I be excited about that? This guy is dangerous, but I think I'm okay as long as he's protecting me. That's what he said to that bully right? I'm "under his protection". I don't think he meant for me to hear that, but I did. I heard every word. His threat even scared me. How did that jerk even stand after Yoongi's voice was in his ear? I can't even imagine. Yoongi's voice is already so deep and having that raspy voice whisper in your ear... that alone would be enough to undo me.
"Okay focus, Yanna. He's obviously hiding something, and until you figure it out, you cannot be falling for him!"
Am I? Falling for him? I would hope not. I've known Yoongi for a week. Six days! There's no way you can develop feelings for someone in six days! ....Is there?
Well... unless you're a hopeless romantic... like me. Just another one of those perks, I guess.
I push my glasses up my face and focus on the lesson.
Yoongi eventually slumped back in his seat and let his hair naturally fall over his eyes. His breathing evens out, and his chest slowly rises and falls. Mr. Kim taught from the front of the class like he always does. He already asked to speak with Yoongi after class about the little hustle he had with the bully, so I don't think the teacher is very concerned about Yoongi sleeping in class at this point.
I try to pay as close attention to the teacher's words as I can. But my eyes keep getting distracted by the peacefully resting boy beside me. I don't know that much about this boy actually. How was he raised? Why did he transfer here exactly? Why doesn't he have his own class schedule yet?
Questions rave my mind as I study his lips and nose; the only things I can see from beneath his hair covering his forehead and eyes.
Class seems to be going on for forever. The guys in the row beside and in front of me keep giving me death glares. They know the only reason Yoongi stood up to them was because he was protecting me. It's all my fault in their eyes.
But I didn't do anything! Yoongi was walking with me, that's all! So these guys show up and almost pelt me with spit balls, Yoongi beats them down a few notches, and now they hate me even more. What a day... and it's only first period!
I look at the clock. Class will be over in about ten minutes. Should I wake him? I look at the sleepy Yoongi next to me. Maybe I should just in case the bell doesn't. Who knows if he's a really deep or heavy sleeper. Besides, it's my duty as his friend to-- friend? Am I his friend?
I thought I was. He walks with me. Hangs out between classes. Stands up for me. Talks to me about school and other things. Yeah, we've only known each other for about a full week, but he still is my friend, right?
I decide to wake him. With a gentle finger, I reach out to poke his arm.
"Yoongi." I whisper very quietly.
He doesn't move.
"Yoongi." I poke him again.
Nothing.
"Hey, class will be over in eight minutes. Wake up before the teacher sees you." I try to scare him awake by telling him the punishments some students have gotten from falling asleep in class, but he doesn't budge.
I sigh. This guy's behavior is very unexpected if I can say so. One second he's super sweet holding my hand down the hallway, the next he's beating up some kid because he bullied me, and now he's falling asleep in class when he's already in trouble with the teacher! Either he's brave or careless, I don't know which one.
The bell rings after a few more minutes, and Yoongi sits up straight and looks at me immediately. It's as if he was never even asleep, "Wait for me at your locker. I can walk you to your next class after I talk to Mr. Kim, okay?"
Wow, he woke up quickly. For some reason, my head starts spinning, "Okay." I say out of loss to say anything else.
Yoongi nods firmly and then stands up now that the other students have left. I pack up my books slowly as Yoongi approaches the teacher's desk.
They both look at me until I close the door after I exit the room. There I stand outside the classroom wishing I could be on the other side. What are they talking about? What is Mr. Kim saying to him? I can't help my curiosity, and I crack the door open less than half an inch so I can peak inside.
"Yes." The teacher answers when Yoongi bows with a "you wanted to see me?".
Mr. Kim folds his hands, "I want to discuss what happened in the classroom before I walked in. Don't worry, I'm getting both sides of the story. Billy will be talking to me later today too."
Billy. Billy the bully. Guess that has a nice (evil and rhythmically horrid) ring to it.
Yoongi nods understandably, "Yes, Sir.
Mr. Kim motions for Yoongi to explain himself. So Yoongi takes a deep breath and speaks.
"With all do respect, Mr. Kim, the boys of this school are very unprofessional and irrational. I wasn't even trying when the quarrel happened. I honestly could have done a lot more damage if he had made any further threats to Yanna. I was simply on the defensive side."
"Yanna?" The teacher tilts his head, "Why is Yanna involved in this?"
Yoongi says, "Yanna is under my protection. I won't let anyone hurt her. That-- you said his name is Billy? He threatened Yanna's life. I took action to keep her safe. Is that such a bad thing?"
Mr. Kim sighs, "I see what's happening here. Yoongi, may I offer you some personal advice?"
Yoongi doesn't move, but I bite my lip. My cheeks are blushing immensely from Yoongi's last statement. I can feel my hands heating up just from the thought of the way he held my hand before. I guess he really did protect me. I guess my thoughts about Yoongi before were wrong. He really is my friend. He isn't dangerous, he just knows how to defend himself. Exactly! And that is a good thing.
"Yoongi, don't get all caught up in the romance side of high school and forget about all the experiences you will never get another chance to have. Enjoy high school, and maybe take a step back from the overprotective boyfriend image? You can be whatever you want to be. And let Yanna discover herself for herself too."
As soon as the words leave Mr. Kim's lips, Yoongi quickly corrects him, "Sir, you misunderstand. I am not Yanna's boyfriend. Although, it's becoming obvious to me that she's developing some feelings of her own, I have no personal feelings for Yanna. I just need to protect her. I have to keep her safe no matter what."
"What? No feelings? At all?"
Yoongi said that... wait, so what was with the holding hands, smiling at me, and walking to class, and ripping up the hate note in my locker? That was all... fake? I don't understand. I thought...
Slowly, I close the door. I don't need to hear the rest of the conversation.
I stand up straight and squeeze my books to my chest as I make my way back to my locker. Yoongi... lied? But he didn't lie. He never told me he had feelings for me of any kind. All he ever did was be nice to me, and I ignorantly took that as a sign for something else. I guess... I've been kinda ditsy.
Or maybe Yoongi is the one who has been misleading.
I reach my locker after boys in the hall quickly duck to avoid my eyes. That's the first time those bullies have ever run away from me. I find that someone running away from you hurts almost as much as someone running over you.
I place my hand on my locker and sigh. Why do I hurt? My chest feels tight for some reason. This is ridiculous! I can't believe how cliche I'm being right now. I feel like I'm living a drama. I don't like Yoongi that much, do I? Why does it hurt this much?
With a new determination to not feel, I twist the padlock on my locker, failing until I feel the frustration explode out of me, and I slam my hand on the door, "Stupid!" I exclaim. Although I feel I'm calling myself that more than the locker.
"Whoa." Yoongi puts his hands up and hesitantly comes up next to me. I guess the meeting with Mr. Kim is over, "You okay there?" He asks carefully.
I nod, unable to look directly at him, "I'm fine. Can you open my locker again?" I step to the side so he can do that listening thingy to the padlock he did last time. He's very strange, and he has a very strange skill set; how did I not notice? I cross my arms as I wait.
Yoongi raises an eyebrow, but still steps to the locker, "Sure thing, Yanna." He leans his ear to the lock and after a few moments, the lock opens.
"Thanks." I say blandly, grabbing my next books for class. Don't judge me. Yes, I am being a little dramatic, but this is me, and I can't help wearing my emotions on my sleeve. I hate it too, sometimes.
Yoongi places his hand on the locker beside me, blocking my way with his arm when I try to walk away, "What's wrong?" He asks me as if he cares.
I roll my eyes, leaning my back to the lockers, "Nothing. I'm going to class."
Yoongi shifts to lean over me slightly, and my heart beats faster. I wish I could make it stop! Ugh! This is especially annoying after what I heard him say in his little speech to Mr. Kim.
"I have no personal feelings for Yanna."
I hurt all over again, and I don't even know why?! Do I like Yoongi that much? After only six days? Why am I so pathetic? And why does he have to look at me like he feels something when he just said he doesn't! Is he faking all this? Did he lie to me or Mr. Kim? Or both of us? Ugh! Here I go over analyzing things again. And here comes the anxiety.
"Something is up. Tell me." He insists with furrowed brows.
I just bite my lip, "It's nothing... well it's something but--"
"Glad we're being specific today." Yoongi mumbles under his breath.
And then something in me breaks.
"Why do you wanna know?" I ask harshly, "So you can protect me? Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but I can take care of myself. I go months without my parents to take care of me, and I've been managing just fine on my own since before you transferred here. Yoongi, you know, it's very rude to not tell people your true intentions. They may start making up things in their mind, and then they're left with broken expectations... and hurt feelings."
Yoongi sighs and drops his gaze to the floor. He has to know what I was thinking all those times I blushed and smiled at him. He has to, right? Was I not obvious enough? I suck at hiding my feelings and expressions, and I know it. How did he not know?
He doesn't say anything so I duck under his arm and walk to class on my own, without looking back.
(Yoongi POV)
Okay... maybe I was suspecting something was up with Yanna after she held my hand. I've never been good with the romantic side of things so I didn't exactly know what to say. Usually there's no room for romance in my line of work because we're too busy killing our target and not protecting them.
Yanna is different from any girl I know or have ever met. She's so very dramatic, and she goes head first the moment she feels anything. I never follow my feelings because your heart can deceive you. How are we such polar opposites? And how could the Chief have thought that I could complete this mission without complications? He didn't exactly give me clear cut instructions on what I'm supposed to be doing.
"Protect Yanna."
Okay... from what? From whom? For how long? And how exactly?! I really do regret not asking anymore questions.
Yanna walked away from me, leaving me alone at the lockers. She was really upset about something, but why do girls have to be so difficult? Can't she see that all these emotions are a waist of time? I don't need to have any feelings for her, because in the end, I'm leaving her anyway.
What I don't understand is how girls can fall into their emotions so easily. You are supposed to control what you let yourself feel, not the other way around with your feelings controlling you. Am I the only one who thinks wearing your emotions on your sleeve is a little crazy?
I sigh silently and start walking behind her. I don't like this. I like walking a little in front of her to keep a good eye on everyone and everything around us. But if I don't want to lose the last molecule of trust Yanna has in me, I have to respect her. If she even has any trust left for me.
I still sat next to her every class for the rest of the day, but she didn't smile at me. She stared at the wall lost in thought for the most part. I guess her thoughts are just as loud as her mouth.
School ended awkwardly. I asked Yanna if I could walk her home before waving goodbye because she said she wanted to be alone for a while.
I screwed up today. I know I did. Starting from opening her locker to my meeting with Mr. Kim. Today ruined so many things. How do I fix this?
I just nod understandably, turn around when she rounds the corner, and follow her secretly to make sure she gets home safe and sound. Some would label this as stalking... I call it Wednesday afternoon. This is my job, as I have previously stated, trust or no trust, so I keep a close eye on her until she makes it to her house.
And boy, oh boy, am I glad I do.
(Yanna POV)
"What...is this?"
My mind goes blank but also races a million miles an hour. But even that is not as fast as my heart is racing.
I can see past the broken down gate, the front door swinging lightly back and forth in the wind. My breath can still be seen in the frosty air, but this just makes my lungs burn more than they already are.
No one has ever broken in before. Especially not when my house is programmed with the most up to date security system in the country. Who would even-- why would they--
"Mom." My frozen, breathless voice whimpers when I make the realization, "Dad." A little louder as my feet start to make their way past the half busted gate, towards the house.
I keep screaming in my head that what I'm thinking isn't true. But when I reach the top of the driveway, there's no denying it.
I step into the house. The couch is turned over and clawed at with what looks like knife marks. Ash is setting in the air as if a fire took over. There is even evidence to tell me that a fire did take part of the house. The walls are crushed just like my heart is when I see our family pictures broken on the ground mixing with the shards of glass left behind.
I choke on my sobs as they escape without me denying them to. I never believed this could happen, especially not to me. Not to me.
My parents. Are they even here? Are they even alive? Why is this happening?! So many questions overtake my senses until all I can see is a blurred scene of a destroyed fireplace and broken plates.
"Yanna." Whoever just called my name scares the wits out of me as I turn to face the voice that sent shivers down my spine.
"Yoongi? What are you--"
"We need to go." He takes a step to me and holds out his hand. I look warringly at him. Twenty-four hours ago I would have gone with him, no question. But now... something is different with the way he's looking at me. And why is he here when tears are down my cheeks, and I can't speak without my voice shaking let alone breath?
He sighs, "We're leaving now."
I step back and shake my head. No. I decide I can't trust anyone. All of this is too coincidental. Yoongi shows up. My parents come home early. Yoongi turns out to be someone I didn't expect hiding some kind of secret, and now my parents are missing. I can't process all of this once.
"Leave me alone." I cry.
"Yanna-- fine." He responds frustratingly.
My eyes go wide when Yoongi pulls out a handkerchief and holds it up. I can smell the chloroform from here.
"Yoongi? No... No!" I exclaim as his one hands cups the back of my head keeping my mouth and nose buried in the handkerchief.
I struggle, but his arms have me caught to his chest. I can't move. Tears form in the corner of my eyes and soon, after a few quick breaths, everything blurs into darkness.
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