Louis never pictured his years being a teenager spent like this.

This is his last year of being a kid, and it's not really going as planned. Within the next six months, he'll be eighteen. He'll be a father. He might even be dead. It's eating at him everyday, that thought, but the more chemicals they pump into his body, and the longer he spends in this hospital, the more the idea starts to seem kind of peaceful.

He doesn't want to die. The relief just seems nice. His bones always ache, and he's so, so tired, and there are nights where he can't even sleep at all because he's coughing so hard. He knows he told Harry and his Mum that he would be okay, and that he would be there to support Harry and the baby, but fuck. He was wrong. He'll admit it. He was so naïve.

As he stares at the ceiling, over-thinking for the millionth time this week, the door opens. Harry walks in, seemingly trying to be gentle before he notices Louis is awake. "Well, good morning, sleeping beauty," Harry grins wearily, walking over to the bed and sitting on the edge of it. He brings his hand to Louis' face, and Louis leans into it, closing his eyes. "How do you feel today?"

"Fine," Louis lies, opening his eyes again and looking up at Harry. He looks so beautiful, but also so tired. It's because of him. Louis' stomach turns. "They're bringing me brekkie. I'm not hungry."

"You should still eat at least a little, love," Harry says softly. "How else will you have the energy to play Animal Crossing and ignore me for hours?"

"You have a point," Louis smirks. He doesn't point out that no matter how much he eats he won't have any energy. "You look lovely today. If I wasn't so tired I'd sit up and grab your butt."

"I'll make it easy for you," Harry stands up and turns around, and Louis laughs. Instead of grabbing it, he pinches it, making Harry squeak and step away. "You're such a pain."

"Only for you, beautiful," Louis grins. Harry sticks his tongue out at him. Louis closes his eyes. "I wanna go home, Hazza."

"I know, love," Harry frowns, sitting down on the edge of the hospital bed again. "I want you to go home too. The commute here is killing me."

"Oi!" Louis laughs. "You know how they always say people, like, glow when they're pregnant?" Harry raises an eyebrow. "I see it."

"I'm probably just sweaty," Harry scoffs.

"No, no," Louis chuckles. "Seriously. I cant believe I have you all to myself."

"Well, like seventy-five percent," Harry grabs Louis' hand and squeezes it. "The other twenty-five percent is for David Beckham. But that's only on weekends."

"Well, at least I know the baby's mind," Louis shrugs.

"Oh, yeah?" Harry raises his eyebrows.

"Because I am the only one who could knock you up on the first try," Louis smirks wickedly, and Harry rolls his eyes. "Yeah, that's right. Becks can't get you going like I can." Louis shuts his eyes and throws his head back, whining in a high-pitched voice, "Uh, fuck, Louis, faster, ah-"

"Shut up!" Harry covers Louis' mouth with his hand. Louis laughs so hard he sends himself into a fit of coughs, and Harry's expression immediately becomes concerned.

"I'm okay," Louis assures, clearing his throat.

"Please never moan like that in front of our child ever again," Harry squeezes Louis' hand again. "Such a bad influence."

"Sorry, Layla," Louis laughs. The room grows quiet after that. Louis turns his head and looks out the huge window. It's pouring outside. Typical England weather.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Harry asks softly, bringing Louis' hand up to his mouth and kissing the back of it. Louis smiles to himself a little, bit doesn't look away from the window.

"I don't know," Louis sighs. "All the things I wanted to do. Because I thought I'd have more time."

"You have plenty of time," Harry whispers. Louis rolls his eyes a little. "What did you want to do?"

Louis twists his mouth. "I never got to kiss you in the rain," He says before smiling bashfully. "I sound like such a girl. But it's true. I've always wants to, like, drive you somewhere secluded and nature-y and shit when it's pouring rain, and then just stand there and kiss you."

Harry's whole face softens as he looks down at Louis. "Really?" Harry can feel his eyes getting watery already. "What else?"

"I wanted to take Ernest to his first footie game," Louis looks over at Harry, twisting his mouth. "I wanted to see you graduate and get a job that you really love. I wanted to see Layla take her first steps and say her first words. Lottie graduating and getting married," Louis sighs. "I just wanted to see everyone happy."

"You're gonna get to see all of those things, baby," Harry assures with a small smile, tears dripping down his cheeks. He can count on one hand the days he hasn't cried in the past few months. "On the first rainy day you're out of here, we're standing outside and we're gonna kiss."

"A casket might be too heavy for you to stand up," Louis realises he's gone a little too far as soon as he says it. Harry immediately frowns. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Louis says quickly. "I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it, I was just kidding."

Harry sighs a little. "It's okay," He says gently, although Louis knows it's not. He uses humour to cope, and he knows Harry gets that, but sometimes he takes it too far. Harry usually calls him out for it, but he probably feels as though he shouldn't because of the situation they're in. But just because Louis has cancer doesn't mean he shouldn't be called out for being a dickhead.

"No, it's not," Louis breathes out. "I'm sorry."

"It's been a rough few days, love," Harry strokes Louis' cheek with his knuckles. Louis closes his eyes in bliss. "I understand. It's okay. Besides, I know you can't die. I don't give you permission."

"You don't give me permission?" Louis laughs fondly.

"Nope," Harry grins. "I'm in charge."

"Welp, can't argue with that," Louis shrugs.

♛

Harry went back to Louis' house and took a nap for a few hours before coming back to the hospital. On his way there, he glances at a text Louis sent him once he's stopped at a red light.

LIAM AND NIALL ARE HERE

SATURDAYS ARE FOR THE BOYS LETS GO BABYYYY

It's a Sunday. Harry rolls his eyes fondly, continuing his drive to the hospital until he gets there. He could walk to Louis' room with his eyes closed by now, and all of receptionists know him and let him go right through.

"Hazzaaa," Louis exclaims as soon as Harry walks in, eyes glued to the screen of the telly. He and Niall are playing Super Smash Bros. on Louis' switch while Liam watches.

"Hi, guys," Harry says, closing the door behind him. Liam immediately stands up out of the chair he's sitting in.

"Here, take my seat, Harry," He insists. Usually Harry would say no, but his back is aching, so he thanks Liam shyly and sits down.

"Have a nice nap, love?" Louis asks, not looking away from the screen. He beats Niall, making Niall groan and toss the controller on the bed while Louis laughs victoriously.

"Mhm," Harry grins. "Good job, baby."

"You wanna play?" Louis asks, offering Harry the controller. "You can't possibly suck as much as Niall."

"Oi!" Niall whines.

"Sure," Harry takes the controller.

"I'll play ya just to prove Louis wrong," Niall pouts, and Louis laughs. "Who do you wanna be, Harry?"

"Kirby," Harry answers with no hesitation. Louis rolls his eyes.

"You always pick Kirby," He points out.

"And what about it?" Harry sticks his tongue out at Louis. "Look at him. I am Kirby."

Liam snorts. "Watch yourself, Payno," Louis warns before looking to Harry. "You look wonderful, H."

"Thank you, love," Harry laughs. They start the game, and they go back and forth being in the lead until Louis breaks out into a fit of coughs. Harry drops the controller on the bed, and Niall is quick to pause the game. "Are you okay, L?"

Louis nods, but he can't stop coughing until he pukes. All over himself. And even after, he continues to cough. "Oh, shit," Niall stands up out of his chair. Liam runs out of the room to get a nurse, and Harry stands up and puts his hand on Louis' back.

A nurse comes in and frowns. "Alright, boys, would you mind stepping out for a minute?" She asks, pressing a button next to the bed that calls for more nurses. Harry is hesitant, but Niall grabs his arm and gently leads him towards the door.

"Wait, is he okay?" Harry asks the nurse quickly.

"He'll be just fine, love," The nurse calls back to him as he steps out of the room.

"They're probably just gonna clean him up or something, don't worry," Niall says, but Harry knows even he doesn't believe that. Niall's hand is shaking where it is on Harry's shoulder.

Liam approaches them. "Um, do you wanna go for a walk? Get something to eat while we wait?"

"I need to hit the washroom, actually," Niall's voice is wavering. "I'll meet you guys in the cafeteria or whatever."

"Oh, okay," Liam nods, and Niall turns around and walks away. "Uh, c'mon, Harry. Are you...okay to walk?"

Harry laughs a little. "Yeah. I'm still mobile, Liam."

"Right, yeah, I'm sorry," Liam blushes. "I...I'm kinda stupid. Regarding...this. I shouldn't be, you're all Lou talks about."

"Is that so?" Harry giggles, tugging on his jacket sleeves. Liam puts his hand on Harry's back and leads him down the corridor.

"We miss him a whole lot," Liam mentions, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "On the team and just, like, at school. At every game and practice we get into a huddle and send some good thoughts Louis' way."

"Really?" Harry asks softly.

"Yeah," Liam nods. "I...didn't expect him to look so...different," He looks down. "That's why me and Niall haven't visited in a while. We were scared. We didn't know what to expect."

"It's okay," Harry says quietly. "I get it."

"That's why I'm so glad he's got you," Liam admits. "You're real good to him, Harry. I think it would've been real easy to just drop him, and some people would."

"I could never do that," Harry says, voice practically a whisper. Liam's mobile vibrates from his back pocket, and he pulls it out.

"Oh, Niall ran into the nurse in the corridor, she said it's fine to go back in, Lou's fine," He mentions. "You wanna head back?"

"Yeah," Harry nods, and they turn around. He's really glad Lou has Liam as a friend.