It's three in the morning when Harry's phone starts ringing. He was awake anyways. Louis' surgery is in nine hours, and he can't get himself to fall asleep, the pit full of dread in his stomach not allowing him to. He picks up his phone. "You can't sleep either?"

"Nope. I figured you'd be awake, too."

"Layla just fell back asleep," Harry says, which isn't a lie. She hasn't slept much either. Harry wonders if she can feel his anxiety, and then he starts to feel horribly guilty.

"Hazza, I miss you."

Harry's chest starts to ache a little, like it often does in times like this. "I miss you too, L," He says softly. "More than anything."

"Are you...will you be mad at me? If I, y'know..."

"No," Harry assures quickly, eyelids heavy as he leans his head against the headboard of Louis' bed. It takes everything in him not to beg Louis to stay alive for him. "No, baby, I won't be mad."

"I'm sorry," Louis says quietly. Harry grabs Louis' pillow off the bed and hugs it to his chest, pressing his cheek against it. "I'm being selfish, I know I am," Harry almost objects, but Louis is talking again before he can. "I know I always tell you I'm fine, and I feel okay, but I'm not, and I don't. Everything hurts all the time. I can't keep anything down, I'm too tired to do anything, my teeth are fucking rotting because all I do is puke. I'm sorry, Hazza. But I'm dying either way. Surgery or not."

Harry closes his eyes, a tear slipping out and down his face. "I know," He admits, voice shaking.

"And if I felt up for it, I'd absolutely do a whole other round of chemo. But I'm not going to be able to get through it."

"I know," Harry says again. "You don't have to explain yourself to me, Louis."

"I want to. I want you to know I did my best."

"I know you did, love," Harry swallows thickly, trying to keep himself from crying. It's not totally working. "And I'm so proud of you."

He can hear Louis laugh a little. "You're the coolest," He says softly, and Harry can practically hear the grin on his face. "You're my everything, Harry. I wish things were different." Harry grins to himself a little, sniffling and hugging Louis' pillow closer to his chest. "And, hey, the surgery could work. I could come out tomorrow and be cancer-free."

"Yeah," Harry sniffles again.

"And then I can come home, and be with you and Layla everyday," Harry knows Louis' just trying to calm him down a little. It's working, but not a lot. "That's what I'm hoping for. I miss my girl."

"What about me?"

"I miss both my girls."

"Fuck you."

Louis laughs before it's interrupted by a cough, and Harry frowns a little, looking over to where Layla is sleeping, his eyes still a bit wet. "How's Lottie doing?" Louis asks after a moment. "Is she...okay?"

"I think she'd like me to think she is," Harry says quietly. "But Ernest will not stop asking about you. He won't even watch Paw Patrol with me anymore."

"Oooh, dissed."

"'S okay," Harry grins. "'Ve still got Doris. Yesterday she tried to put hair clips on Layla, so, she's keeping me busy."

Louis laughs again, but he doesn't cough. "I should let you get some sleep," He says after a moment. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," Harry nods, even though Louis can't see him. "I love you, Lou."

"I love you too, kid. More than anything."

♛

"She kind of looks like a baby monkey."

"She gets that from Louis."

Daisy laughs, keeping her eyes down on where Layla is cradled in her arms. Harry wishes he didn't feel so anxious about other people holding her, but he can't help it. They're all hanging out in the lounge, trying to distract each other from the fact that Louis went into surgery thirty minutes ago.

"So the next one's middle name is going to be Charlotte, right?" Lottie asks from the sofa on the other side of the room.

"In your dreams," Phoebe scoffs.

"We'll see," Harry grins, fond, shaking his head a little. Layla starts to fuss, so Daisy wrinkles her nose and passes her back to Harry, who sighs a little.

"'S she hungry? You just fed her," Lottie furrows her eyebrows.

"I think," Harry fixes the little blanket Layla is swaddled in. "She...can sense how stressed we are. And it upsets her too. I read something about that in a baby book."

"Maybe if we all just smile, she'll stop," Félicité grins freakishly wide, and Lottie does the same. Harry laughs, easing how tense he feels, and Layla becomes less fussy. "See, it worked!"

Dan pokes his head into the room. Harry can't help but think about how lucky Jay is to have him–he takes everything she throws at him. A kid with cancer, and a kid that's not even her own living with them, and a newborn he's not even related to. Not to mention how difficult marrying someone with five kids must've been. Harry wants to be that for Louis–he wants to be his Dan.

"You guys hungry? I can order pizza," He offers.

"Yes please!" Phoebe grins. Harry's too nauseous to eat, but he gives Dan a polite smile and nod anyways. Dan grabs his mobile out of his pocket while Harry tightens his grip on Layla.

When the pizza gets there, Harry nibbles at a small slice, but can't finish it. The bubbling in his stomach won't stop. While Louis' sisters are laughing and joking around, Harry can't stop thinking about Louis.

"Right, Harry?"

"Huh?" Harry looks up to Lottie.

"I was just saying that you and Louis are probably together because you both have daddy issues," She can barely get through it without laughing.

"Okay, I don't know about daddy issues," Harry laughs.

"When's the last time you saw your dad?"

"Touché."

Félicité cracks up, and Harry can't help but laugh as well, the weird feeling in his stomach soothing a bit. He loves this family, and their sarcastic and morbid sense of humour they all share, where they can make jokes about Harry never seeing his dad and it's genuinely funny.

They decide to watch a movie after they eat. Harry finds it difficult to pay attention, but he tries, because he's literally torturing himself thinking about Louis. They're almost done when his mobile starts to ring, and when he looks, Louis' name is on the screen.

"One sec," He mutters, standing up quick, Layla still cradled in his arm, and rushing to the kitchen. If Louis has bad news, he doesn't want all of his sisters to hear it from him. He takes a deep breath before answering. "Hi."

"Yo, guess who's cancer-free?"

Harry's heart practically falls out of his arse. "R-Really?" He asks softly, biting his lip to keep from smiling too hard.

"Yes sir. They got all the cancer out. I have a few more chemo treatments, and then I'm all done."

"Holy shit!" Harry blurts out, and Louis laughs. Harry's eyes fill with tears, heart pounding. "Holy shit, L, I love you so much."

"I love you too, baby. I'll be home in a few days."

"Holy shit," Harry says again, because this doesn't feel real. Louis laughs again, and he doesn't cough, and Harry has to close his eyes for a moment to recollect himself. "I'm so fucking proud of you."

Louis chuckles. "Thank you, love. I can't wait to see you."