When Louis wakes up the day of his surgery, his chest is automatically heavy. He sits up in his bed, glaring at his alarm clock and wincing at the awful ringing sound. He doesn't understand why his surgery was scheduled so early in the morning.

There's a light knock on his door before it opens. Louis doesn't know why his mother bothers knocking if she's not going to give him any time to answer. She smiles at him weakly. "Good morning, love."

"G'morning," Louis mumbles, running his hand over his face. Exhaustion racks his whole body.

"Did you find out whether or not Harry's coming, Lou?" She asks, walking into his bedroom and opening the curtains. Louis winces at the bright light coming in through the windows.

"I'll call him," Louis sighs softly, unplugging his phone and unlocking it. It only rings twice before he can hear Harry pick up.

"Hiii."

"Hello," Louis leans back into his pillow, his eyelids drooping. He smiles a little at Harry's sleepy voice. "Are you gonna, like, come over?"

"Yeah, just lemme get dressed and I'll be right over."

"Sounds good," Louis murmurs. "See you then."

"See you soon, love you."

"Love you too," Louis says quietly, embarrassed to say it when his mum is standing right there, picking up some dirty clothes from his floor. Jay snickers, though her expression is still fond. Harry hangs up, and Louis sets his phone down. "I'm hungry."

"You can't eat, pumpkin, I'm sorry," Jay smiles sympathetically. "Afterwards."

Louis groans, slipping under his duvet and pulling it over his head. He would give anything to go back to sleep. Jay pulls the duvet so his head isn't covered anymore, and Louis whines. "Baby."

Louis pouts, but he looks up at her. His mother is beautiful, he thinks. She sits on the edge of his bed and runs her fingers through his hair, and he preens under the attention, her hand warm despite the coolness of the house. "How're you feeling, boo?"

"I don't know," Louis sits up a little, eyelids still heavy with sleepiness.

"It's okay to be nervous," Jay's voice is soft. His mom is kind of the best.

"I don't think I am, though," Louis shrugs. "I'm nervous about the recovery and stuff, but the actual surgery, I don't know. I don't really feel anything strong about it."

"Hm," Jay nods. She's quiet for a few moments before pushing Louis' fringe out of his face. "I think you're very lucky to have Harry."

Louis can feel the corners of his lips turn up just at the mention of Harry. He nods in agreement. "I think so too," He replies. Jay smiles at him. They both hear little feet padding towards the bedroom, and Louis sits up a bit more to see Ernest enter, rubbing his eyes.

"Ernie, babe," Jay furrows her eyebrows. "What're you doing up so early?"

"Gotta say g'bye to Achoo," Ernest explains sleepily, walking over to the bed and climbing up into Louis' lap. Louis laughs a little, wrapping Ernest up in his arms. Ernest looks up at him. "You gon' be okay?"

"'Course, mate," Louis smiles. "I'm gonna be just fine."

"Daddy said that...um...me and Doris can come visit you after school," Ernest leans into Louis' chest, and Louis' heart melts. This kid is his best friend.

"That's right, E," Louis chuckles. "Phoebe and Daisy are gonna come with you too."

"M'kay," Ernest sighs softly. Louis stands up, now holding Ernest on his hip. He carries Ernest out of his bedroom and to the one the youngest twins share. Doris is fast asleep, her thumb in her mouth. Louis sets Ernest down in his bed, tucking him in.

"Get some more sleep so you're not super grumpy when you come to see me later, okay?" Louis says softly, giving Ernie a fist bump. Ernie nods sleepily, hitting his little fist to Louis' before grabbing onto his teddy and hugging it to his chest. Louis grins, standing up off the bed and walking out of the bedroom. There's a knock on the door, and he goes downstairs to get it.

Upon opening the door, he finds Harry standing there, wearing one of Louis' hoodies and some joggers that may also be Louis'. "Hi," Harry says softly, smiling sleepily.

"Hello," Louis grabs Harry's hand and pulls him into the house, leaning down and pressing their lips together. "So you convinced Anne to let you skip today?"

"She really doesn't care what I do anymore," Harry shrugs, voice quiet. Louis frowns, pulling Harry close to him and kissing the top of his head.

"Do you want something to eat?" Louis asks gently, his arms wrapped around Harry.

"No thank you, babe," Harry assures, smiling up at him weakly. "How're you feeling, though?"

"I don't know," Louis admits. "Okay, I guess." Harry furrows his eyebrows. "I feel neutral about it. I already know it's going to hurt afterwards. And I also know I'll be fine. This surgery is no biggie."

"Baby," Harry says cautiously. "They are cutting your chest open. That's kind of a biggie."

"And then they're closing it back up!" Louis points out, hooking his arm around Harry's neck and pulling him closer so he can kiss Harry's forehead. "Everything's gonna be cool."

"Okayyy," Harry sighs. Louis gives Harry's shoulders a squeeze and leads him to the kitchen, where Lottie is sitting at the table looking less than happy. Harry grins. "Good morning, Lottie."

"Mhm," Lottie rubs her hands over her face. "Couldn't they have removed your lung tumours at a not ungodly hour? I can barely keep my eyes open."

"You're lucky you were even invited to the lung tumour removal party," Louis scoffs.

"You mean your wedge resection?" Harry raises his eyebrows. "Your surgery? That's the party?"

"I'm thinking about getting cake," Louis nods. Harry rolls his eyes, but he wraps his arm around Louis' waist and leans into him. Louis kisses the top of his head. "I think I'm gonna dye my hair. Before it all falls off."

Harry's eyes soften as he looks up at Louis. Louis is smiling brightly, though, seemingly not dwelling on the idea of after-surgery chemo too much. Harry's so in love with him, in love with how he tries to make any situation positive, especially around his younger siblings.

"I'll dye mine with you!" Lottie exclaims, suddenly excited.

"If I make this into a brother-sister bonding thing she'll probably let you," Louis rolls his eyes, still grinning. He kisses the top of Harry's head again. "What about you, Hazza?"

"Yeah, no, no dying for me," Harry says.

"Me neither, hopefully," Louis replies. Harry smacks him in the chest lightly.

"Louis, enough," Harry sighs. "That's not funny."

Louis lighthearted smile disappears. He leans down and kisses Harry gently. "'M sorry, love," He says softly. Harry just leans into him more, smiling wearily as Louis wraps his arms around him and holds him tightly against his chest.

♛

"Lottie, are you sure you don't want to switch seats with me?" Félicité asks from the backseat, sitting next to Louis and Harry, eyeing them in disgust.

"I think I'm all set," Lottie says, looking back at her sister and smirking. Félicité glares at her.

"Leave them alone, Fiz," Jay tuts from the driver's seat. "They're not bothering you any."

Louis smiles a little before kissing Harry. Harry giggles into the kiss, and Félicité gags. Louis leans back from Harry to look over at her. "Oh, I'm sorry, Fiz," He says, lifting his hand and very slowly lowering it in the direction of Harry's dick. "Are we making you uncomfortable?"

Félicité screams, covering her eyes and making Louis start to howl with laughter. Harry rolls his eyes. "Louis, enough," Jay sighs. "Stop harassing your sister."

"Sorry, Mumma!" Louis says innocently, giving Félicité a devilish grin. Félicité starts to mutter about Harry being the good one, and how much she likes Harry over Louis.

They arrive to the hospital. Louis can feel himself getting a little nervous, his stomach twisting. He grabs for Harry's hand, squeezing it tight. Harry furrows his eyebrows and looks over at Louis, but Louis refuses to look back at him. He doesn't want Harry to see the fear in his eyes.

"You okay?" Harry asks softly, looking up at Louis as they walk into the hospital. Louis nods, but doesn't say anything. Harry frowns.

"I think we're going to the third floor," Jay says, more-so speaking to herself, as none of the kids are really listening. They walk to the elevators to see that they're out of service. She turns to Louis. "Do you...do you think you'll be okay to go up the stairs, Lou?"

"Yeah," Louis assures. "It's fine, I'm fine."

"Okay," Jay nods, not looking fully convinced. She leads them all towards the stairs, opening the door and walking through. Louis stays behind them all, just in case he pants an embarrassing amount going up. He keeps his fingers entwined with Harry's as they go up, his other hand gripping the railing.

Harry must notice how slowly Louis is walking up the stairs, because he starts to slow down himself without saying a word. Louis really loves him.

By the time they've gone up all of the stairs, Louis is completely out of breath, his lungs starting to burn like they do when footie preseason starts, and Coach Cordon makes them run around the snowy track, and the cold air makes all of their lungs feel like they're on fire. Louis misses footie.

Louis has to stop walking down the corridor, tugging on Harry's arm. Harry looks over at Louis, face softening when he notices Louis can barely breathe. "Guys, wait a second," Harry says to Jay and the girls, squeezing Louis' hand.

"I'm good," Louis says after a moment. He can feel Harry and his mum's worried eyes on him, but he doesn't look at them. "It's fine, let's go."

Jay and Harry share a look before they continue to walk. They make it to the right place, with Jay checking Louis in at the front desk while the rest of them sit in the waiting room. Harry tries to keep Louis distracted, but the anxiety blooming in Louis' stomach is spreading throughout his whole body.

His name is called, and they all follow a nurse who brings Louis into a room and instructs him to put a gown on. Louis does, and then wraps Harry up into a big hug, his heart pounding. He needs to hold Harry, needs to remind himself what he's doing all of this shit for, he can't just give up, even though he knows it'll suck.

"I love you," Louis mumbles into the top of Harry's head.

"I love you too, L," Harry says softly, leaning back to look Louis in the eyes. "And you're gonna be fine, okay? We're all going to be here when you come out."

Louis nods weakly, giving Harry a small smile. Harry smiles back at him, leaning up and pecking his lips. He feels a little better hearing that, he won't doubt it. But, he's not even scared for the surgery. He knows he'll be okay. He's just scared for everything he's going to go through afterwards. He's going to be unable to do a lot for a long time, and Harry's just going to get more and more pregnant, and need more and more help.

Louis usually never admits it, but right now, he's terrified.