Kaneki's POV

I ran out the school and down the street straight to Anteiku. I knew that Touka could help with the situation I was in. She was the exact same as me, a ghoul and didn't want to hurt humanity. In fact, the whole of Anteiku's staff were ghouls, we were all trying to find a different way to live life without feeding of flesh. I ran up the stairs and through the doors making a big commotion. I looked around and everyone was looking at me in shock and confusion. I spotted Touka looking at me with her purple eyes wide. She looked kind of pissed but I didn't care. I ran upstairs and into my personal room slamming the door behind me. I took off my jacket and my eye patch throwing them across the room into an unknown space. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I fell to my knees and put my hands on my head and closed my eyes. Grabbing my black hair, I let out a horrible scream as the pain and hunger rushed through my system. The scream hurt the back of my throat and could have been heard through out the whole building. I knew that as soon as the employees saw me they evacuated the cafe. Still screaming i smelt the blood of humans from across the street. I stopped screaming as I realized I have lost my last connection to my humanity. I stood up about to go to the window as I knew the ghoul side has fully taken over my body. With the look of hunger and lust in my eyes, I opened the window and the delicious smell became stronger. With my ghoul eye completely exposed, I put a foot on the window sill ready to jump out and feast on what I desired most. But before I could jump, Touka smashed down my door. She pulled me down from the window sill and I landed with my back on the floor. "Control yourself you idiot! Or you will expose us all!" With that statement she kicked me in the side and I rolled over onto my stomach. I growled and was prepared to fight her, I stood up and readied myself for what was to come. My eyes widen as Touka lifted up her leg and kicked me making me tumble back down to the floor. This...isn't me...I started to scream again as I held my head fighting the ghoul controlling me. Touka was just in shock as i screamed, suffering in my own mind. She pulled out something from her pocket and unwrapped it. Shoving it in my mouth, my eyes widen as it was flesh. "T-Touk-a, I-I c-can-'t..." I tried pushing it away from me as she was still shoving it down my throat. "JUST EAT IT!!" I couldn't....I can't....I won't. I closed my eyes as i felt the blood drip down the back of my throat. It kinda calmed me down from the taste of blood, but i didn't want this. I didn't want to harm humans and their existence. 

I stopped kicking and screaming and that is when Touka stopped shoving the flesh down my throat. I calmed down heaps and my eye went back to normal. I got my human self back as the ghoul side of me got what it desired. Touka left the room and i was left on the floor. I hated this life so much. I hated this...this...pain and suffering...why won't it ever end? Will it ever end? I eventually got up and put my eye patch back on and changed my shirt into my uniform and thought to begin work. Work was the only thing that could keep me in my right mind, and then there was (y/n), she is what was keeping me here in this hell hold but, the problem was, she is the love of my life, but human. Thinking of (y/n), i remembered how i just left her there in tears and pain. I felt horrible for leaving her there but it was the right choice. If i didn't leave sooner she would have been my meal. I hated the thought of me hurting her, but, i couldn't stay away. There was a part of me that needed her in my life to keep me sane. The part of me that was still human longed to be by her side. I have made a promise to myself that i will learn to control my thirst for her flesh so that i can be around her, it just may take some time. But i promise (y/n), i will get there. I think to myself as she is probably worrying about me and how i left like that. She is probably in fear. I served a man reading a newspaper and took his order. Taking the order behind the counter where Touka was. "You could have put us in danger today." She said quietly. "I know, i'm sorry. I couldn't." Touka stopped me before i could continue. "You need to control it first Kaneki, you can't just go out in the open like that." I looked down ashamed. I knew that everything she was saying was true. But what she said next hurt me. "You need to stay away from her." I looked at her like she was crazy. "Touka you know i can't do that." I walked away giving the man his order then walked back with dirty dishes. "If you can't then i will make you. You have no choice." She said sternly. "What do you mean Touka?" I could feel my heart starting to race just a bit. "You are no longer allowed to leave this cafe until you have mastered your thirst." With that my heart started to pound as she left me there with my thoughts. How could i not leave the cafe?! I can't just leave (y/n) like that after i left her in tears and pain! This was ridiculous. I watched as Touka served another customer. I walked off serving another trying to get my mind off of it. This was it, tonight, i would leave the cafe in search for (y/n) to see her. There was no way i could be apart from her for that long.