The way I'm feeling when we drive back onto land off the ferry, is clear on my face. Dad's sitting next to me in the driver's seat, nudging my arm, trying to tell me that everything will be fine. I know that he's right. I was in the Vancouver area for four months after I finally ran away from Ryan. He didn't know where Dad lived anymore because we moved, and there was no way anything bad was going to happen. Nothing bad happened in that four months before I left for college, so why would anything bad happen now?

I'm just being paranoid.

It was hard to leave Harry back in Victoria. But knowing that I would see him again in just a few days, definitely made the goodbye a little easier. He had come to the ferry to bid me goodbye, where Dad, who had a big change of heart about Harry, snapped a picture of us kissing under a mistletoe in the port lobby. Why this damn mistletoe was still there a day after Christmas, I will never know. But Harry took advantage of it, and apparently, so did my weird dad.

The drive from the ferry to our house isn't long, but I'm happy we don't have to drive through the city to get to it. When I finally came clean to Dad about Ryan, in the smallest of details at first, I told him that the only way I could come home to him and stay, is if he moved out of the city. Luckily for me, Dad was quick to find a new place to live, just outside of Vancouver, in Burnaby, at the end of a quiet street, lost in the world surrounded by large trees. It was only then that I was able to free myself from belonging to someone who I'm sure has the devil living inside of him.

Dad is one of the biggest Lawyer's in British Columbia. He owns a few law firms throughout the province and on Vancouver Island, and money has never been an issue for our family. The three houses we have lived in have been big, honoring that of Dad's high wages. Although he always settles for the nicest of homes, they have never been too big for our liking. They all still held a great deal of comfort among our riches, because as many of the nicest homes I have been in, in my life, the walls around us, always, no matter where we lived, absorbed more love than I think I ever deserved. This one was no different.

Being in my bedroom, only brings back a lot of painful memories. Although I was finally done with Ryan when I lived here, his phone calls and texts only started dying down a month before I left for California. I never told Dad that he was still harassing me, but I think he knew there was still something going on. Dr. Swanson told him not to pressure me into talking about anything or pry for what I might not want to talk about, and therefore he never questioned me directly, when I knew that he wanted to. Being a lawyer, he was very good with his manipulating ways, but despite what I had just gone through, I was still smart and could see right through him.

As I'm about to turn the tv on, there's a knock at my bedroom door, and Dad steps in. "Can we talk?" He looks around the room as if it's the first time he's ever been in here, before positioning himself at the end of my bed and his grey eyes lock with mine. "I think it's time," he finally says, sternly.

I don't need to ask him what he means, because I know quite well what he's talking about. He has been wanting to put Ryan away this whole time. To lock him up and throw away the key. He still has no idea what Ryan's name is. He doesn't know where he lives, what he does for a living, who his friends are or what he looks like. But he knows what he did to me and what I went through, and he has never shied away from expressing his feelings about what he wants to do to him. 

"We can't," I reply. It's always the same answer and Dad always asks the same question after it.

"Why are you trying to protect him, Paisley?" he asks. "Just tell me who he is."

"I'm not trying to protect him, Dad," I raise my voice. We've had this same conversation more times than I can count, and my answer never changes. "I'm trying to protect you. He has friends. If he gets locked up for what he did to me, his friends would find you. They would find us. They would know you're my Dad and I can't lose you."

"Paisley—"

"I know what he's capable of, and I'm not going to lose you because of him. I've already lost so much because of him, and you're not something I want to add to that list. I can't."

"What if he's doing what he did to you, to someone else?" he asks. "Do you really want to think that it's happening to another girl? Someone who might not be as strong as you are? Someone who may never be able to get out of there?"

This is a question he's never asked me before, and it's definitely not something I want to think about. Although I know that there have been many girls who have fallen victim to the disgusting men under that roof, I never wanted to think there's a possibility it's still happening. Who am I kidding though? It is for sure. I know Dad is trying to make me feel bad for these girls I don't even know exist, wanting me to be unselfish just for one small second and give in to him.

But I can't—And I won't.

"You could be saving someone's life just by telling me his name."

"I'm saving yours by keeping it quiet."

I can see the frustration growing on his face, as he sighs, realizing my mind is still in the same place it's always been about it. As much as I would love to see Ryan behind bars, Dad's life is more important to me. It'll always be more important to me.

"I have to work the next few days," he says after a long silence. "Are you going to be okay here by yourself?"

"What happened to hanging out just the two of us?" I ask. Realizing the time that was meant to be for just us is now cut short, my heart sinks. After spending time in Victoria, with Dad mad at me, we really didn't get much time together the way I thought we would.

"A big case just came up, Paisley," he informs me. "I'm sorry. But I have to take it."

"If I knew this was going to happen, I could've just stayed at Rachel's. At least then I could hang out with Harry."

He tries to apologize and give me the option of returning to Victoria, but there's really no point when Harry is just picking me up in a couple of days. I can't say I'm not disappointed because that is exactly how I'm feeling, but I muster up a good enough smile for him to believe that I'll be fine here alone and it's okay for me to stay here.

The fact that Harry and I have never talked on the phone dawned on me when he called me when I was making my morning coffee in the kitchen of my quiet house. Dad had already left for work and I was still in my pajama's, walking around in my new fluffy pink slippers I got for Christmas.

An hour has passed already, the phone still pressed to my ear, laying across Dad's black leather couch with the comfiest of blankets, sipping away at my second cup of coffee, with no intentions of wanting this phone call with Harry to end. I'm definitely liking talking about nothing with him and he is damn good company in a house that's this quiet.

"I miss you already," Harry whines. "Seriously, please come back. I'm still in bed. Come cuddle me."

"You come cuddle with me. My Dad's gone."

"Really?" he asks, slowly. "In that case, I'm on my way."

I shake my head, even though he can't see, and stifle a laugh. Of course he'd want to be alone with me. I'm sure he is just dying by now to get something from me. For someone who was used to getting sex all the time, he is still very patient with me. Although since the first time we fooled around when I was drunk, we haven't had much time together since. He is probably going crazy and I can only hope he isn't doing anything with someone else to get his fix.

Even though I have an inkling to ask him if he thinks things are moving too slow between us, I decide against it, knowing I don't really want to talk about that at all. Sure, if Dad hadn't interrupted our steamy make our session in the car, I'm sure something more than just kissing would have happened, but I'm not ready to discuss that sort of thing, and I don't want him to feel like he has free reign to ask me any questions, so I sit in silence with his words.

"Are you watching tv?" he asks, finally breaking the silence.

"No. I'm just talking to you."

"Do you have one near you?"

I laugh, looking around, seeing one in front of me hanging on the wall and to my right, one in the kitchen. "Dad basically has a tv in every room, so yes, I have one near me. Why?"

"Let's watch a movie together," he suggests. "If I can't be with you, I can at least pretend we are."

Despite the fact I think his suggestion is one of the strangest he's ever come up with, I do as he says, and turn the tv on, flicking through the channels until he decides on what we should watch. When he settles on Love Actually, I flick to the channel he says it's on and get more comfortable on the couch.

Watching a movie with him over the phone, makes being in this big house alone, not feel so lonely. I listen to him recite the dialogue word for word as if he's seen the movie a thousand times, and almost want to smack him through the phone every time he does it. I can't help but smile though, at the fact he is willing to spend his day on the phone with me just because we can't actually be together, and my feelings for him grow with this little realization.

**

Dad has worked long hours the whole time I've been home, leaving me to fend for myself the entire time. It's been nice to take in the quiet of the lake through the woods, despite the cold, taking pictures of the beautiful world I'm surrounded in. A light snow had fallen, covering the brown leaves and the skies were grey, but it was still very picturesque. I believed that anywhere you went in British Columbia, no matter what time of year it is, it is the most magnificent place on earth, leaving it a place to easily lose yourself in all it's beauty.

I hadn't been looking forward to the day we were leaving, knowing that Dad wanted to take me out for breakfast before heading to work that morning. Him and Harry both agreed that it would be easier for Harry to pick me up downtown Vancouver, rather than trying to find our house in Burnaby. I despised this idea, not wanting to go anywhere near downtown. Although it's a gorgeous city, and before moving here I deemed it as my favorite city in the world, but now all I see it as, it's where the scary people lurked. Where Ryan and his friends were always found, and all the bad things happen. And I just didn't want to be seen by anyone who could hurt me.

Dad tries to assure me all the way through breakfast at this fancy restaurant, that I have nothing to worry about, the same way he did when we drove off the ferry when we first got here a few days ago. Even though he knows that Ryan is still out there, he believes that he wont find me. I, on the other hand, feel like my lungs are about to collapse and can't shake the paranoid feeling that I'm being watched.

Dad looks at his watch, and I know it means that he needs to head to work. I'm supposed to meet Harry at Mondo Gelato, because he apparently needs a scoop or two of his favorite ice cream before we head back to California. He took the earliest ferry this morning from the island, and if the plan worked out, I would meet Harry around the same time as Dad needed to go to work, so the time I had to spend alone in the city was either very short, or not at all.

As Dad is getting up from the table and putting on his coat, I am praying to God that Harry is already at Mondo Gelato waiting for me. Robson Street is just a few streets over and I will run there if I have to. We make our way to his car to get my suitcase, the chilly air making it easy to see our breaths puff out like clouds of smoke every time we take a breath.

Dad looks down at me, the grey in his eyes simply warming my heart. Once again, I'm saying goodbye to him. After not having nearly enough time with him, even though I'm looking at him, I miss him already.

"I'm sorry about this week," he tells me. "I promise I will book time off for when you come home for spring break."

I instantly wrap my arms around his neck. "I'll miss you," I tell him.

As he gets my suitcase out of the trunk, he keeps his eyes on me. "You make sure to remind Harry what I'll do if he breaks your heart." The smile on his face contradicts the seriousness in his voice, making me laugh. "I'm serious kiddo. And I really am happy that you have someone you can trust. Just keep your guard up with him, because I know I've seen that kid before. He seems genuine enough and I like him, but I feel like he's hiding something."

"Now, who's the paranoid one?" I ask, punching him in the arm. "I'll be fine, Dad. Harry isn't hiding anything. If I thought there was anything suspicious about him, I wouldn't trust him as much as I do."

He hugs me again, kissing the top of my head. "Just be careful, please."

I watch as Dad gets into his car and drives off down the busy street. I laugh to myself at how the roles of being paranoid reversed, starting to make my way to the ice cream place. I keep my eyes to the ground, despite wanting to take in the beauty of the city, but not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. I just want to get to Mondo Gelato and I want to see Harry. I want to get in his car and start our nineteen hour drive back to where it's warm. Where everything feels normal, and I feel at home. I just want to get out of this place, so I can feel safe again.

As I'm rounding the corner onto Robson street, I bump into someone. Apologizing quietly, I keep my head down and compose myself from this abrupt run in. Mondo Gelato is right down the street. If I was looking up, I know I'd be able to see it.

"Paisley?"

I attempt to keep walking, not wanting to know who the hell just said my name. Pretending I'm not who they think I am, I stride away from them, moving my feet a little quicker. But when a hand pulls my arm, making me spin in their direction, my eyes glance up and I freeze. 

The air in my lungs feel trapped and I can't breathe. But I can't move. My mouth is hanging open and my eyes are wide, not wanting to see the person who stands before me, still holding onto my arm. When I see from the corner of my eye, someone bend down to pick up my suitcase that apparently knocked over with our contact, I look down to see another person I could do without seeing again.

When I look back up to the one who still has a grasp on my arm, they pull me into a hug. "I can't believe it! It really is you!" I don't hug him back. I don't want him to hug me. I pull away from him, still unable to speak.

Hunter and Ivy. Although I'll take seeing them over Ryan any day, knowing they know I'm here, gives me an uneasy feeling and I need to leave as fast as I can. But I'm still frozen on the spot.

"Are you okay?" Ivy asks. Her long almost white hair blows in the wind. She still wears more black eye make up than anyone ever should, but I can't help but notice how much better she looks than she ever did before when I knew her. 

"Please don't tell Ryan I'm here," I beg, finally finding my voice. "Please."

"We don't talk to Ryan anymore," Hunter tells me.

My eyebrows furrow in confusion, as I look into his blue eyes. I have a hard time believing this. I want to believe it, but I doubt that it's true.

"After you left, Ryan went fucking nuts," Ivy explains. "The guy went batshit crazy. It wasn't long after you left that we took off too. We couldn't fucking handle him anymore. He was bad enough when you were there, I doubt you could even imagine how he was without you."

"But how did you get away?" I ask, looking at Ivy. "You were Trent's girl, but you left with Hunter?"

Confusion runs it's course through me, my head spinning with the information being thrown at me. As happy as I am to hear that Ivy got out of that house, I can't seem to understand how Trent let it happen. When you belonged to one of them, there was no getting out of their grips, especially with another one of the guys in the house, unless they said it was okay.

"It was a fair trade," Hunter answers for her. "I gave him one of my girls in exchange for me being able to leave with Ivy."

The thing with Hunter, was that he never owned a girl. He was actually always the nicest one of them and was never like the others. I figured that's why I felt like we were friends and I could trust him. He never beat the girls he did bring back to the house, never drugged them or even raped them. He had quite a few girls he would choose from, that he would simply use for sex, but they were more like fuck buddies, not really owning any of them. He must have given Trent one of those girls. At least that's what I'm going to take from what he said. I don't really want to know, and I'm not going to question it any further. 

I just want to get out of here. I want to be with Harry. In California, where I'm far the fuck away from here.

"Well, I'm glad you got out. You look really good," I say, taking my suitcase back from Ivy.

"We went to rehab," Hunter explains. "We got out a couple weeks ago. We're clean now."

I smile hearing this, and it all makes sense now, why they look so much better than they ever did. "Good for you."

"Where do you live now?" Ivy asks. "I've been wondering where you went."

"Oh, ya know, I don't really have anywhere in particular that I stay," I answer, hoping they can't tell I'm lying. "Hence the suitcase."

The last thing they need to know is where I am. They could be lying about not talking to Ryan, just to get information out of me, and there's no way I'm spilling anything. There's no way they'll ever know a single thing about me now, if I have anything to do with it. I don't trust them, especially since my life depends on it.

A car horn honks and I recognize it to be Harry's car. I look to see he is waving as he slowly drives by us. I feel like I can finally breathe normally again, knowing that I can leave without trying to come up with a lame excuse.

"I've gotta go," I tell them, looking back at them. Without warning, they both put their arms around me in a group hug. I awkwardly pat Hunter on the back before pulling away from them. "If you see Ryan, don't mention this. Please."

"He's still looking for you, ya know," Hunter says. "So far you've been good with hiding, but—just be on the lookout when you're around."

I look at Ivy who's giving me a sympathetic look, as I roll my eyes, trying to hide the fear inside of me. If they don't talk to Ryan anymore, how the hell do they know he's still looking for me? "That's great. Thanks for letting me know. It was nice seeing you."

I try not to make it seem like I'm running away from them as I walk as fast as I can down the street to where I already see Harry's car. He's getting out, and looking at me walking towards him. I don't hesitate to throw my suitcase in the backseat, not wanting to waste any time waiting for him to open the trunk, and I quickly open the door to the passenger seat and slam the door hard behind me.

Harry opens his car door, and peers inside at me. "Um, aren't we going for ice cream?" he asks, looking confused.

"Get in," I yell.

"What?"

"Get in the fucking car, Harry!"

He's still bent over, with the car door open, staring at me. "I really want ice cream, Paise."

"I will buy all the ice cream you want somewhere else if you just get in the damn car right now and drive," I say in a panic.

Without questioning me further, he gets in and starts the car. He still has his eyes on me and doesn't move.

"Drive, please!"

"Can you explain, please?" he asks. "If I'm not getting Mondo Gelato, you better have a good reason for this."

"Yes, yes, I will explain," I say, seeing Ivy and Hunter out of the side mirror. They haven't moved from the spot I left them in, but I hate that I can still see them and the fact that they're staring at Harry's car. "Drive, and I will explain!"

I warm my hands on the heater as he finally pulls out of the parking spot and I close my eyes, feeling better already now that they're out of view.

After a long silence, I hear Harry sigh, and I finally look over at him, seeing his eyebrows furrowed as he concentrates on the road. "I'm sorry about ice cream."

"Who were those people you were with?" he asks, sneaking a look at me for a second.

I don't realize what I've done, until he asks this question. I've told him I would explain, unaware of what I was going to say. Harry saw me with Ivy and Hunter. He saw me panic, wanting to get out of there as fast as possible. I have to give him something. And I have to think fast.

"They were friends of mine when I lived here," I tell him.

"Why did you want to get away from them so fast?"

"I don't like them anymore?" I question. He looks at me like I've gained a couple heads, waiting for me to explain further. I internally groan. "When I lived here, I sort of got myself involved with the wrong crowd." It wasn't really a lie. In fact, it's the closest to the truth about my past that I think I've ever spoken to Harry—or anyone—and it kind of feels nice, now that the words are out of me.

"The wrong crowd?" he questions.

"Those people you saw me with," I explain further. "I went to school with them. They were big into drugs."

"You used to do drugs?" he shouts. "I thought I knew you. Apparently, I know nothing!"

"Calm the fuck down, babe!" I laugh at his outburst. "I didn't do any drugs. I just hung around them and got drunk all the time. They're lowlife losers, wastes of space, basically."

He questions why I would hang around people like that, especially knowing the kind of person I am now. The questions don't surprise me and the look on his face is priceless, seeing how everything that comes out of my mouth is apparently unbelievable to him. I know that I can't tell him the full truth about what my life was, but the relief I feel inside of me, even telling him the slightest of things that I was involved with, makes me feel like a small piece of the weight of the world is off my shoulders.

"You owe me so much ice cream," he jokes. When we hit a red light, he leans over the console and kisses me. The safe feeling overwhelms me being so close to him right now. I know I don't have to worry about a single thing anymore, now that we're together again. I press my lips against his, breathing him in, taking in what I've missed over the last few days. I never want to be away from him. Never in my life, do I want to be without him. I know in this moment, the safety he brings to all of my nerves, that I would do anything to make sure I always have him next to me.

A/N: Clearly, I had trouble ending this..lol This is probably the longest chapter I've written so far, so hopefully you like it!

I feel like I need to address something, because I can tell it is very frustrating to you that Paisley can't remember Harry. Her memory is blocked from being traumatized because of the things that happened to her. Although she had that small vision of the glasses that one time, she hasn't remembered Harry and that part of her life for a really long time. Please be patient. She will remember him eventually. I promise you that. Sorry if it's frustrating at times.

Thank you SO much for 14.2K reads!! I love you all so so much! Please continue to vote and comment! You really do know how to make a girl smile!

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amberlove
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