Chapter 28
To my surprise, I apparently didn't miss much work while I skipped classes yesterday. Astrid text me while I was vegging in bed watching Netflix on my ipad, to let me know that all we had was History of Photography homework and asked to meet her in the library in the morning to work on it together, since Lighting Workshop was cancelled.
The only reason I woke in the middle of the night, was because my bladder felt like it was going to explode. It was a nice change, knowing it wasn't because of a nightmare. There was no sweat pouring down my forehead and my breathing was normal. I cursed my wretched bladder for interrupting the peaceful sleep that I needed, especially when, through the dark, my eyes fixated on the body sleeping across the room from me and I noticed it most definitely wasn't Nova, but instead a comfortable looking, lightly snoring Harry, gripping onto a pillow for dear life, with his mop of curls covering his face. Nova and Niall really need to get their own place, if they keep wanting to kick Harry out of his own room every night.
When my alarm sounded through the room this morning, I awoke to en empty room. I figured it was for the best, since he left me so awkwardly at the beach yesterday and I didn't really want to start this day off on the wrong foot, because tomorrow is today, which meant I needed to be able to think straight if I was going to look at things differently and let my walls back down. Today, I'm a new person.
There's no doubt in my mind that I actually feel better. The voice of Ed Sheeran sounds through my headphones as I slide my finger across the many books about Photography on the second floor of the library. History of Photography is my least favorite class, mainly because it's so boring, and my professor is about as old as the first camera ever invented. He even talks slower than normal in this monotone voice that makes it hard to stay awake. It makes for some really funny anecdotes out of Harry's mouth, but other than that, the class sure is useless and I'd gladly do without it if I could.
I find a book that seems useful enough for the work I have to accomplish this morning, and take it to a table in the corner that overlooks the bottom floor. I watch as Astrid slowly strolls across the floor and up the stairs to meet me.
It has been obvious to me that she feels bad for what happened at the roller rink, because unlike Harry and I, her and Blake worked things out. While we were falling apart, they were falling back together. It was hard to watch them act like nothing happened, while I couldn't even look at Harry without wanting to cry. I'm happy that she's happy, but it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, considering the whole reason Harry and I weren't in the same happy place as them, was because of them to begin with—or at least they played a good helping hand in it all.
"So you took the day off yesterday," she states, taking her backpack off and placing it on the floor as she sits down across from me at the table. "Are you okay?" Her bright blue eyes are wide as she stares at me.
"I'm good now, thanks," I tell her.
Her eyes don't leave me and she doesn't move, as she watches me get my laptop out and open the book I got from the shelf. I can tell that she wants to say something and I have no idea why she isn't.
"What is it, Astrid?" I ask, closing the book and looking at her.
"Harry said he met you at the beach yesterday morning," she finally tells me. I'm not sure I like the way she's looking at me, like Harry is a touchy subject and is really afraid of saying his name around me. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"What did he say?" I ask curiously, dismissing her question completely.
"Nothing," she answers, taking her books out of her bag. "That's the thing. I asked him where you were and he mentioned the beach and he seemed so short with me like I did something wrong. You guys still aren't back together?"
"No." I don't know why she has to ask that. I know she wants things to go back to normal, but things are more complicated than she understands. She doesn't know half the things that go on with Harry and I. Just like everyone else, she doesn't see what happens behind closed doors or the inside of our heads, and therefore, she can't understand how everything fell apart the way that it did.
"But why, though?" She asks. "You guys are so great together. I mean, can't you just forgive him? I forgave Blake—"
"It's not that simple—"
"It's never that simple with you."
I can feel myself starting to burn up. I wanted to explain that it was him that walked away yesterday. This has nothing to do with me not wanting to forgive him, because I already did. I decided already that I wanted to work things out with Harry, but she had to go and interrupt, not let me finish, and then be rude about it. I want to fight her back on it, but today, I'm not letting anything get to me, and the last thing I need at the moment is to fight with Astrid over this, when I need her more than anything right now. "So, let's just drop it then."
I take this as my opportunity to walk away to go and get another book, putting my headphones back on and focusing on what I need to focus on, instead of things I shouldn't worry about right now. I know that Harry and I need some more time. We aren't going to fall back together just like that. Sometimes things really just aren't that simple, even if you want them to be.
As I'm walking back to our table, I notice Harry and Blake walk into the library downstairs. They both look up at me in unison, but as Blake keeps walking towards the stairs, Harry stops in his tracks, and for a few moments his eyes lock with mine, before heading right back out the door he just walked in from.
"What was that about?" Astrid asks, walking over to me. She has her arms crossed, waiting for my reply. It's as if she thinks I know why he just did what he did, but I'm just as confused as her. "Are you guys fighting?"
"No," I answer. "I'm going to get a coffee. I'll be back in a few."
When I return from my coffee run, Harry is already sitting in the seat next to the one I occupied when I first sat down at the table. I take my seat, noticing the eyes of Astrid and Blake from across the table flicking nervously between Harry and I, but Harry doesn't look away from the book he has in his hands as he scribbles something down on his paper. No one says anything and the tension between the four of us feels thicker than it ever has before.
Little did I know, that this silence wouldn't just continue throughout the morning of our studies in the library. It continued for the entire week. What a long week it was, trying to figure out the right words to say to Harry. It seems no words at a time like this, could be right, because I couldn't for the life of me, bring myself to say anything.
Although the silence between us made the week feel longer than any other week since I'd gotten to school, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence that made me want to rip my hair out. Things were obviously not the same, but he was still very much present. It was unclear if he was mad at me or if he was just acting on the time out he sentenced us to. Either way, we still sat next to each other in classes, and every night he would sneak into my dorm room when he thought I was asleep, and crawl into Nova's bed. Knowing he was there, somehow made me sleep easier, because my nightmares had stopped the night he first slept there last week.
Despite our lack of conversation, this week refreshed me. I started feeling like the new person I wanted to be, forgetting about things that always should've be forgotten and seeing the world in a different light. And I couldn't help but think that Harry's decision to stay close, was his way of proving to me that I could trust him.
"Please say you'll come out with us tonight!" Nova begs from the bathroom as she puts on her make up. "I need some girls to dance with! Niall wont dance with me anymore and I'm tired of Ruby trying to take over the dance floor!"
"I don't know, Nova," I sigh.
"Oh, come on!" She continues begging. "It's the last Friday until Christmas holidays! We're all leaving next week and I think we should drink just because the year is almost over!"
"You find a reason to drink every weekend, don't you?" I laugh.
"Life is a party! Drink it up!"
Without saying anything to Nova, I quickly text Astrid to see if her and Blake want to head to the pub for some drinks, which of course they agree to, saying they'll meet us there.
I don't nearly put as much effort into how I look as Nova does. Although she always looks great with her perfectly eyelinered eyes and dark painted lips, I can't bring myself to care as much as she seems to, leaving me ready to go before she is, and sitting on my bed as Niall walks in the room to wait for her to finish up with her flawless face.
"Long time no talk, Paisley!" Niall grins, sitting next to me. He places his arm around me and pats my shoulder. "Are you good? Things been kinda rocky for ya lately, I heard."
"Things are good, Niall," I give him a smile in return, moving somewhat away from him out of his hold on me. "But I've wanted to yell at you guys for making Harry sleep in here for the last week."
"We never made Harry do anything," Niall defends himself and his girlfriend. "It was his decision. He's the one who suggested he sleep in here last week, and it's his choice every night."
My jaw slightly drops as I look back at Niall, who is already laughing at my obvious shock. I can't understand why he would want to sleep in Nova's bed or even sleep in the same room as me, when he had his own personal space he should be occupying.
"It really was," Nova chimes in, finally coming out of the bathroom. "He was pretty set on sleeping in here though." She winks at me, before grabbing her things and heads to the door.
"I don't understand though," I say, as Niall and I follow Nova down the hall. "We haven't spoken two words to each other the whole week—"
"Give me a break, Paisley!" Nova laughs. "That boy has it so bad for you! Talking or no talking, he still cares. And I swear to God, you guys better get back together soon, or I might just lose my fucking mind!—Or I could set you up with Liam! I had a sense about him the first time you met him."
"No!" I reject her offer at trying to play matchmaker again. "Things with Harry will work out."
Although I'm not completely sure that this is true at the moment, I want to think it is. And hearing that it was his decision to sleep in the same room as me, makes me feel better about the hope I have for us to get back together.
When we walk into the pub, Louis and Liam are already sitting at our usual table, a few lines of shots placed neatly in between them in the middle of the table. Their faces light up as they see us walk over to them.
"It's about fucking time!" Louis shouts. "Let's get wasted!"
Nova picks up two shots and hands me one to clink our shot glasses together before we down them without hesitation. It burns going down and I scrunch my face up, looking around at everyone who is already grabbing their second one from the table. The waitress is already bringing another tray of shots and placing it down before us before even half of the shots that were already there, are even close to being gone.
"Looks like we're getting hammered tonight!" Blake laughs, as him and Astrid walk over to us.
We clink our tiny glasses together in cheers again before downing another, simultaneously. I'm pretty sure Blake was right. We are definitely getting hammered tonight.
Six shots later, we're on the dance floor. I'm not drunk, but the buzz is definitely coursing through me. It feels good to let loose like this again, especially after the couple weeks I've had. With the way I have been feeling pretty good about everything this week, this feels like the right way to end it. Getting drunk and being happy and feeling more positive about everything in general.
Nova nudges my shoulder and tilts her head in the direction of the stage. She was right when she said Ruby tries to take over the dance floor. She's on the stage in front of the dee-jay station by herself, dancing like she's in some stupid music video. I laugh as I look back at Nova, where I notice behind her, at our table, sits Harry with the boys, downing shots one after the other.
I feel a sudden wave of confidence as I walk over to them and pick up another shot and down it quickly. I pick up another two and give one to Harry, which he happily takes. The shots give me a liquid courage I wish I could have when I was sober, and I find myself sitting on Harry's lap and draping my arm around his shoulder. He looks stunned as he looks back at me, apparently shocked by my actions, but I simply smile at him, not caring what he thinks about my decision. "Hi."
A dimpled smile forms on his face as he shakes his head at me. "Hi." His eyes flick back and forth between mine and it's now that I begin to realize how much I missed being this close to him. How nice it is to look into his most amazing green eyes and see them looking back at me with wonder, yet satisfaction.
"Let's dance," I tell him, standing up. I grab his hand to pull him up with me, but before we can go anywhere, he takes another shot. He allows me to drag him to the dance floor without the exchange of anymore words and I let my buzz and the music guide my body to move to the beat in front of him.
He doesn't move. He stands there for a few moments and watches me with his arms crossed. His stance doesn't coincide with the way he looks at me, so I know that he is trying to hold himself back from putting his hands on me the way the expression on his face is telling me he wants to.
"Come on, Harry," I say into his ear, putting my arms around his neck. The alcohol has surely made its way through me, because I've never felt more confident in myself than I do at this very moment, as I grind my hips into his.
He starts to move his hips with mine, bringing his hands to my back and I can feel them making their way down, bringing our bodies closer together in the process. Our eyes don't leave each other's and I want nothing more than to kiss him right now.
"You're crazy, Paise," he laughs, turning me around so my backside is pressed against his front. His hands on my hips feels nice as he holds me tightly to him as we move together. I know in this moment, that I'm proving to him that my trust in him is higher on the scale than it's ever been before, despite not talking to each other for a week and the obvious alcohol in me. I want him to know how I'm feeling without the use of words, and I'm hoping that this closeness that I have initiated, has made it quite clear. "What has gotten into you?"
I don't answer him. My arms make their way up and my fingers tangle themselves in his curls that hang slightly down the back of his neck. He grips tighter around my waist and my breathing starts to pick up with our movements. I'm lost in him. I don't care if people are watching or what they're thinking. All I can think about is the way his hands on me sends a burning sensation through me and I just want to be as close to him as possible. The way his fingers glide slowly up my bare arms causes goosebumps to rise on my skin as he intertwines our fingers together when his hands reach mine behind his neck. I can feel his breath on my neck that sends shivers down my spine, making me lose myself in him even more.
The way we move together feels so flawless; So perfect, like we know just what the other is thinking, without thinking at all. He turns me to face him again, grinding into me some more, our nonstop movements making my heart start to race. We keep our rhythm to the beat going, but his fingers slide up and down my arms and my back at an honestly slow pace that has my whole body tingling. His touch is so cautious in all the right ways, I can feel my need for him grow by the second.
The desire to have him closer to me gives in and I press my lips firmly against his. I can't ever remember a time that I craved someone's lips on mine, but the relief I feel when his tongue moves with mine, allows me to breathe easier. I like how he tastes like the rye we took shots of, feeling like that was just moments ago and ages ago all at the same time. Understanding time is all lost now that I have him back exactly where I want him, where I need him, I don't want to be anywhere else but in this exact moment, hoping time will stop altogether.
When his lips slowly part from mine, I realize we're standing in place, as bodies move in a blur around us. He looks into my eyes with such seriousness as he swipes the hair out of my face to tuck it behind my ear. His breath fans over my face as he leans his forehead against mine. "I missed you," he breathes out, as he closes his eyes.
"We should get out of here," I say. His eyes open wide at my request, but I pull him off the dance floor anyways in the direction of our table. I don't hesitate to take a few more shots before taking a couple twenty dollar bills out of my wallet and giving them to Louis so I can pay for my part of the tab.
"Leaving already?" Louis asks, looking at Harry. The smirk on his face indicates exactly what he's thinking and I roll my eyes at him as he pats Harry on the back a few times.
Harry's got a smile on his face as he looks back at Louis, and even though there are no words exchanged between the two, I can tell they're speaking to each other with their eyes, completely in tune with their thoughts, as Louis' eyebrows move up and down making Harry laugh and flirtatiously raises his eyebrows at me. Even though I know what's going on before me, and what Harry is thinking, I don't hesitate to pull him away from the table towards the door.
I'm not really sure what my plan was when I mentioned we should leave, I just know that I want to be alone with Harry. Away from the thudding of the base, and from people who don't matter at the moment. I just want to be with him. We haven't spoken more than ten words to each other since I realized he was at the pub, or rather for the entire week, but our actions on the dance floor said everything we didn't say—or at least I'm hoping I'm thinking right. In my drunken state, it makes sense that we leave. I don't necessarily care what we do, all I care about is getting in some lost time with him to make up for all the time we should've been together.
"Paisley, wait," Harry says, stopping me on the spot, as we head in the direction of the dorms. "What are we doing?"
"Hanging out?" I ask, pulling out my phone. The last two shots I took are suddenly hitting me. I'm definitely way passed buzzed now and I'm in the mood for singing and dancing down the street. Through blurred vision, I scroll through my phone to find a song I haven't heard in a while, remembering this was something I used to do a lot of. I tap the wrong song a few times before hitting the one I want, but when I do, I smile at Harry, who's looking at me like I've gone mad. "Sing with me!"
I start walking down the street backwards, with him following me, as I sing along to the lyrics loudly. He is now laughing at me, seemingly amused by my drunken behavior, as he takes a picture of me. By now I'm in a fit of giggles, skipping along to the song the way I used to. It feels the same as it did before. Like pure happiness and freedom. It allows me to realize that I'm one step closer to being who I used to be. It overwhelms me and it's exciting to know, that just like I wanted, I'm letting my walls down and forgetting and just being me.
"I love you like this," Harry says, pulling me into him. He's looking at me like it's the first time he's seeing me, but saying it like he already knew this is who I always was. His eyes are saying a million things to me, I just wish I wasn't so drunk so I could actually read them properly. It doesn't matter. He's so fucking hot, and I want to kiss him. Again.
"Like what? Drunk?" I joke.
He laughs, taking my hand and pulling me to walk again. "No, singing and dancing in the street. It'll always be one of my favorite memories of you."
"Well, at least you have that picture," I point to his pocket where his phone resides. "You'll never forget now!"
"Ugh—yeah," he stutters.
It doesn't take long to get to my dorm room. "Hey, Paise?" Harry says, as we walk in. "I'm really sorry for—"
I pull him into my room, shutting the door behind us, as I push him up against it not wanting to wait anymore to be close to him. "No talking. Just kiss me."
**
A/N: Holy hell! 8.1K reads!! For this being my first book on here, that I started just over 2 months ago, I'm super happy about the love I've been getting from you! I'm still so new to this whole Wattpad thing, so I appreciate all your votes and comments so so much!
Your comments have been killing me! They make me smile and laugh so hard sometimes! I love seeing your reactions to everything that's happening! I hope that you're still loving this book, as much as I'm still loving every second of writing it!
—I love you so so much! Your continued support means so much more to me than you will ever know! Hope you stick around, keep voting and commenting, because there is still SO much to happen! :)
♥ If you love it, vote it! ♥
Much love,
amberlove
xo
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top