✍︎Rᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ nopeisnopeisnope ᴏɴ Aᴏ3☕︎

𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝐼𝑓 𝐼 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑡ℎ𝑠 𝑎𝑔𝑜 𝐼 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑜𝑛 𝐴𝑜3 [𝐴𝑟𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑂𝑢𝑟 𝑂𝑤𝑛] 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑠𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠.

Sometimes moving forward wasn't easy.

The shadows of the past kept coming back to you,and every time you think you have finally emerged from it,they chain you again. One day you felt good and thought you could improve,the next it was as if nothing had changed and you forced yourself to seek happiness in the little things. It was a vicious circle that never ended,he still had to see the distant light of liberation....if there was one.

Changing one's life,from an environment that was previously completely toxic and unbreathable to the complete opposite with joy and smiles,wasn't simple. Even though he had managed to get rid of his abusive ex-husband and start a new life with his new partners,at times he still felt as if nothing had ever changed.
As if Schlatt's oppressive and limiting presence were still there with him,continuing to influence–manipulate him.
It wasn't pretty.

He knew he needed time to heal,his therapist had told him so and the doctors even mentioned it during their monthly check-up,but...but sometimes it was like he can't get results.

He walked on eggshells every day of his life,waiting to be yelled at or even hit for the slightest mistake he made. He was always nervous and insecure every time he talked,not wanting to upset either of his boyfriends with what he said,his voice was always low and weak...

The only positive thing that he had managed to improve was his body weight,he was no longer a stick like it used to be,but he had gained good muscle mass and had reached normal weight. It had taken some time –almost half a year,if not more– but at least there was some positive feedback. The doctors also congratulated him on his progress.

Physically he was healing and doing well, but mentally...it was hard to break bad habits and worries. With Schlatt it had always been a 'fight or fly' situation,and very often he decided to fight. Bad decision,the light scars on his body were there for a reason after all.

But now he didn't need to,because Sapnap and Karl are treating him differently,because with them he could be safe,nothing will happens to him. The thing is that he doesn't feel safe,a remote part of his brain will always remind him to be cautious,how to avoid doing wrong step or take up as little space as possible so as not to bother his parters. Even though he knew that neither of them would react abruptly or aggressively.

The root of the problem could be summarized as:He knew he was,but he didn't feel it.

And he didn't know how to fix that.

Quackity felt terrible at the mere thought of comparing his 2 lovers to his ex-husband,they were complete opposites. Sapnap and Karl are absolutely sweethearts,they are always there for him for every little thing,they always pay attention to him and never make him feel uncomfortable or left out,and they even go beyond their limits to make him happy. Schlatt in comparison.....it was better not to talk about Schlatt,his ex-husband was already out of the competition before he could even say a word.

He just hoped that sooner or later he could stop overthinking about superfluous things that no one cared about,and that he would once again be able to live as he once did,before the situation got....worse.

Trauma sure as hell was a little bitch.

Quackity rested his head on Karl's chest while holding the popcorn basket with his left hand.

They were watching a movie in the livingroom and they had decided to make some popcorn and take some drinks out of the fridge.

The film was nothing special,a banal short film lasting an hour and 40 minutes,and it was about a girl trying to escape an abusive relationship and family so she could pursue her dreams in another country.

Ironic isn't it?

Especially because part of this movie reminded him of his life. Usually these types of situations were always romanticized or not accurate by the media,but this time they had hit the mark. From the characterization of the characters,to the emotions,to the situations and everything in between was perfect. You could almost feel the protagonist's pain.

Quackity clutched the blanket they were sharing as his mind began to wander,the film now became a distant background music in the horror of his mind.

"Sweetheart~ where are you?"
A heavy voice cut through his memories and soon his eyes were focused on a scene he hoped to never experience again.

"Honey? Don't play with me,came on. I know you are here~"
Heavy footsteps approached the dark place where he was,while it's owner continued to call him back.

"Listen up you fucking bitch,I just need to talk to you really quick about something."
Doors being opened violently and objects being overturned.

Quackity shrank even further into the corner furthest from the closet door as he placed a hand over his mouth in an attempt to keep quiet.

It was clear that Schlatt was searching the entire mansion for him,and it was only a matter of time before he found him. He just hoped it would take as long as possible.

"Oh I'm sorry sweetie,I didn't mean to scare you,it's just the work that is stressing me out,you know? I promise that I won't arm you in any possible way. So can you please came out?"
His voice was slightly sweeter and honeyed now,like a siren song calling to its prey.

Quackity shook his head as he pressed himself against the wall. How many times had he fallen for this trick? Hoping that he would live up to those words? Too many. He had now understood that if he even gave a sign of his position he would be found. He remained silent without moving,while his figure trembled controlled by a primordial fear.

"I'm going to kill you if I don't find you in the next 2 minutes! You fucking bitch,I made you in what you are today! You should be grateful to me,not trying to play a stupid little game!"
Closer footsteps,more objects being thrown against walls and more being broken.

When would this hell end? When could he finally be free and live normally enjoying happiness?

God,he was happy that Fundy had decided to take care of Tubbo today and take him to the park,at least then he wouldn't have to witness any of this.

Tubbo was safe and nothing would happen to him,he just had to...get out of this situation. Alive,preferably.

"Babe,please,I just really need you. I'm sorry if I am violent,but I missed you so much,and I would like to spend time with you...."
The door of their room opened.

Click

An icy silence fell in the room and Quackity didn't hear any sounds or noises,but he knew better.
Schlatt was there,scanning the room to see if he was hiding there or waiting for him to fall into a feeling of relief and reveal himself from his hiding place,only to then be attacked.
It wasn't the first time he'd done it.

1....2....3....4....5.....

BAM

The sound of a heavy object shattering on the ground –his desk,most likely– breaks the silence.
He lasted 5 seconds,a new record.

Others souds,this time more shrill,continued to echo in the room. Most likely he was breaking something made of glass,which was a lot in their room...

Was he trying to get him out of the closet? To force him out of hiding before the entire house was destroyed? What the hell was he thinking,they could very well buy back every broken thing,as always,so why....oh...OH.

Quackity widened his eyes at the realization. His body began to cover in sweat while he was filled with violent sobs that he tried to stop and hold back to avoid being discovered.

"Sweetie~ I know you are here,so I would like to remember you that I have your precious necklace,the one that your death mother gave you on her last day. It would be a shame if a pretty jewel like this would be crushed,glass is such a fragile thing after all....But! if you came out,maybe I might consider doing nothing to it. The choice is yours...don't make me wait long."

Monster. That was what he was:a fucking monster.
This was too much for him.

Quackity tries to bring his hand closer to the closet door,failing miserably to move it,his body unresponsive to his commands and the fear mistress of his soul.

Apparently,however,Schlatt had understood where he was anyway and had opened the door himself,slamming it so hard that it broke,before forcibly dragging him out.

"W-wait S-Schl-latt!"
"Fucking finally! You dumb bitch,you really thought you could hide form me forever! Ha! How pitiful of your"

His husband grabbed him by the collar as he slammed him violently against the door,the one still attached,of the closet.

His head throbbed and he felt something liquid,Quackity swallowed hoping he wasn't bleeding. That would be another problem.

His heart was pounding against his rib cage and he was afraid it would shatter his bones for how violent it was,his breathing was ragged and he already knew there was little left before tears would also be shed.

"I-I-"
"Shut up!"
Schlatt raised his left hand and slapped him hard enough to split his lower lip.

He was definitely bleeding now. Fucking shit.

"You think you can disobey me? You fucking bitch,you are mine! I own you!...or did you forget it?"
A grin. Schlatt was grinning,his eyes a different perverse light than usual.

Quackity felt as if his death sentence at the hands of an executioner had just been confirmed. There was more than just everyday physical abuse underneath that unhealthy smile....he was scared.

Schlatt's hands moved up his body until they stopped at his throat.He tightens his grip.

Quackity placed his hands over his as his breath hitched and he tried to squirm away.

Fuck,fuck,fuck,shit.This is bad,I don't want to die like this.Shit.

"I can understand that you know. We don't spend much time together anymore,so it seems normal to me that you've started to think you have...freedom to do what you want. But don't worry,I'm sure that now you will remember very well who you are"
Schlatt said,then started to laugh and let go of his neck.

Quackity fell to the ground as he took large mouthfuls of the opener and clutched his sweatshirt with his hand as he caught his breath. A trickle of blood began to fall from his wounded lip and fell onto his white sweatshirt,staining it in a way that will never be seen by anyone. Tears fell uncontrollably from his plump red eyes.

His arm was taken forcefully and then he was thrown onto the bed,banging his head against the headboard,feeling it dizzy even more and his vision slowly blackening.

The last thing he saw was the figure of his husband approaching him,after which,total darkness.

It doesn't take long to realize what happens next,when he wakes up with his whole body aching and clothes scattered on the floor. But for his sanity he decided not to think about it anymore and to move forward.

"Quackity?"
Karl's voice next to him brought him back to reality,saving him from his bad memories.

"Uhm-yes? You...need anything?"
Quackity said recovering from the flashback he had because of the movie.

"Why are you crying?"
Sapnap asked,noticing with concern the silent tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I–what?...oh"
Quackity touched his face,feeling it wet and clammy,realizing that yes,he was crying.

"Did something happened? Is it the film? Do you want us to change it?"
Karl asked as he cupped his face and wiped away his tears with his thumbs.

"No,no! It's ok! It's just that...I'm a little sensitive,that's all"
Quackity said as he waved his hands in front of his face.

He then proceeded to place them on the back of his neck and he massaged it,feeling the phantom touch of what he had just relived. No bruises,he was ok.

"Awww,it's totally normal,why didn't you told us before starting? Let's change to something more soft,ain't no way that I'll let our baby cry"
Karl said as he hugged him gently and took the initiative to change the channel.

"Wait no– It's totally ok,you can put it back"
Quackity tried to argue,not wanting to ruin the movie for his whim.

"Nah,don't worry,it's fine."
"But-"
"Shhhhhhh"
Karl shushed him and Quackity couldn't help but lose.
He remained silent for the rest of the evening, deeply grateful that he no longer had to see something that brought back bad memories.

From Sapnap's heavy and worried gaze,which was on his figure throughout the rest of the night,he understood that he hadn't been so credible and that he wasn't a good liar.

Triggers.

Something that causes someone to feel upset and frightened because they are made to remember something bad that has happened in the past.

When he finished telling his therapist what had happened last week,this was what she explained to him.

"A trigger is something that sets off a flashback,transporting the person back to the traumatic event. I'm so sorry that this happened to you,you don't deverse all of this trauma"
She told him,then continued their session and went into more detail.

They went into more detail on the topic. He discovered that there were different type of triggers,practically anything could be a trigger based on the trauma you had suffered,and that each could have different reactions.

For him it was going into a catatonic state where he felt too much and couldn't hold back the pain.

It was something common that people with difficult and tragic pasts had,especially if they hadn't decided to try to have closure and heal from the wounds caused. But also those who had surpassed them sometimes had them. Memories weren't always good....

So,in short words,the movie had triggered him to enter a catatonic state in which he returned to one of the many abuses he had suffered in the past from his ex. Wow brain,such a good friend you are.

He just hoped that it just a one time thing and that it wouldn't happen again. It would take a lot to explain to his boyfriends why he always went into a catatonic state where he couldn't hear them talk or even see them.

He decided to keep it hidden. Just as he had hidden all the abuse he had experienced. Karl and Sapnap didn't know and they should never have known,they didn't even need to. It was something that he would have taken to the grave with him.

They already did and do so much for him,it wasn't worth it to burden them more with this.

"Baby? Do you want to go to the mall with me?"
Sapnap asked him as they were alone in the bedroom.

"And Karl?"
Quackity asked as he looked away from his adventure book.

He had returned for an hour from his therapist appointment and the moment he set foot inside the house he had positioned himself on the bed and started reading to free his mind.

"I already asked him if he want to go,but he said he didn't want to. Also because he intended to bake a tart for dinner,he has already gone out to get the ingredients. And I don't want to go alone,so please? Do it for me"
Sapnap asks him as he takes his hands in his and made sweet eyes at him.

"Aw,how can I say no to you with that cute expression? Of course I'll go with you. Let me dress first"
Quackity said,pointing to the fact that he had changed back into his pajamas once he got home.

"Ok,I'll wait down at the entrance for you. Don't take too long"
Sapnap said and then walked out of the room and gave him his privacy.

Despite this,and the fact of being aware that he was the only one on the second floor and that no one would have ever opened the door but knocked,he decided to lock it anyway while he changed. It had now become a reflex more than anything else.

Sapnap had said not to take too long,fortunately he had become a master in it,even if he knew that deep inside in his heart he could also take an hour and no one would tell him anything about it but....but it was better not to risk it.

Quackity opened the closet that all 3 shared,being immersed in an explosion of colors. He looked at his clothes for a couple of seconds before deciding which one to wear.

With Schlatt he could never wear flashy or brightly colored things,he forbade him even though they were the only clothes he had. When he had once tried to ask him if he could put on one of his shirts,he had mocked him and slammed the door of his office in his face. Since then he had never dared to ask and had had to completely change his style. The only times he could dollen up
it was when Schlatt was invited to some important fancy party and he wanted to 'show him off'. Even though their night always ended with his ex beating him because all the people in the room only had eyes for him and he was an 'attention seeker'.

But now he was no longer with Schlatt,and maybe…maybe Karl and Sapnap would never criticize him for his choice of clothes. They had expressed several times how they wanted him to feel comfortable in whatever he did. Maybe he could try again....maybe this time it could end differently.

Armed with a small flame of determination Quackity decided to opt for a tight black pants with white sneakers,and a wide white short-sleeved shirt,tugged inside of the pants,with a baby blue bluse above that expose his shoulders and clavicles and a small black beanie on his head as a finishing touch.

He was...ok. He looks good in it and he likes it. It was ok.

He hoped that Sapnap would like it and he really hoped he wouldn't force him to change again.

15 minutes later he found himself walking down the stairs in a ball of nervousness as he awaited judgment.

"Oh? You were fas-wow"
Sapnap stops the sentence halfway and freezed at the view in front of him.

His boyfriend had an ethereal figure with a beautiful outfit that left room for the imagination. His eyes ogled him,tracing his entire body and then stopping on his waist. Damn,it was sure as hell snatched and small. And the pink skin of his exposed neck? Their boyfriend was truly a masterpiece. They were really lucky men.

If on the one hand Sapnap was staring intensely at his boyfriend with unspeakable thoughts in his mind,on the other hand Quackity had a head full of doubts.

Wow? What did wow mean? Was it good? Ugly? Was it too much? Did he have to change again? Did he not like it? And why was he not saying anything at all? And why was he looking at him like that?

"Uhm? Sapnap? Are you ok? Do you not like it? Do you....want me to change?"
Quackity asked as he shifted in place from one leg to the other clearly hesitant.

"NO!-I mean,it's ok.I like it,you don't need to change it's totally perfect.Don't worry."
Sapnap said as he ran a hand through his raven hair smiling at him.

Quackity nodded although still doubtful from his reaction.But he was happy that he wouldn't have to change his clothes.Maybe this could have been an improvement towards healing,small steps one at a time.

"Anyway,did you get everything you need? We can go?"
Sapnap asked, getting a positive nod from the other.

"Alright then,after you princess"
Sapnap opened the front door giving a dramatic bow getting giggles from Quackity.

"And then they say chivalry is dead.Thank you my brave knight"
Quackity thanked him with a small bow before bursting out laughing and walking through the door,followed by Sapnap who locked it behind them.

It was a 20-minute drive from their house to the mall,so they made themselves comfortable filling the time with small conversations about anything.

One of the things Quackity loved about Sapnap and Karl was the fact that you could talk about anything with them and express any opinion without having anything backfired. They were easy to talk to and made you feel at ease. A huge contrast compared to his past relationship seen....yeah,Schlatt didn't appreciate anyone going against his beliefs or having a different opinion than his.

He got chills just thinking about everything that happened when someone went against him. End even when it wasn't him,he still found himself the victim of his anger.

"Babe are you ok? You continue to tremble...Are you cold? Do you want my jacket?"
Sapnap asked,taking his hand and tracing it with his fingers,trying to give him comfort.

"Uhm? Oh no,I'm not cold,thanks. It's nothing,I was just thinking about....about a sad video of a kitten I saw."
Shitty excuse,even a child could do better.

He felt guilty lying all the time but really,he just couldn't get out of whatever block he had. He just wanted to forget about Schlatt existence and that he was married to him. The only good thing he got from that situation was Tubbo,oh sweet baby Tubbo,so different from his father and always full of life and happiness.

"Mhm-mhm....if you say so. But if you want to talk about it,I'm here for you. Take your time,ok pretty?"
".....thank you"
"We are partners now honey,whatever difficulty afflicts you,we will always overcome it together."

Oh Sapnap,always the swetest,always worrying about the people he cares about and trying to help them. His heart ached at the fact of lying to him.
He and Karl were the only people who had treated him with love and this was how he repaid them,by lying.
A sad and bitter smile spread across his face. He didn't really deserve them.

The rest of the journey was spent in silence

"And we are here!"
Sapnap turned off the car engine,then got out of his seat and opened the passenger seat to let Quackity get out as well.

"What do you have to buy?"
Quackity asked looking at the huge structure in front of them as they walked towards the entrance with the sliding glass doors.

"I need a new set up for the my computer keyboard,the other has now been destroyed. Oh and Karl asked me if I could buy him a couple of books that he was interested in reading. Do you want to buy something?"
Sapnap asked while they entering the mall being greeted by blasting air conditioning and bright lights,as always there were many people.

Quackity frowned.
There were currently some things he wanted to buy,he was interested in a new pair of clothes that were in fashion lately and some vintage jewelry. He didn't know if he could afford them though. Would it be too much to ask his boyfriend to buy them for him? What if he would have said no and made fun of him? Fuck,he should have brought his wallet with him. Even though he doubted he had enough to buy what he wanted....

A hand flicked his forehead.

"Now now,I know that expression,don't wrap your pretty head around these little things.When I asked you if you wanted something it was because I want to buy it for you. Don't think about money or if it's something expensive,I can buy it anyway."
Sapnap reassured him,smiling at him.

"Are you sure?"
It didn't seem right to him,it was as if he was taking advantage of his generosity and his money. He felt like a thief.

"Of course I am,If you weren't I wouldn't have asked you."
"...still..."
Quackity shrugged,looking down at the floor,finding his shoes interesting.

"Ah-ah,none of that. Let's do this,while I go to the electronics store on the ground floor you can take a walk around here and see what you want to buy. Where did I put it?...wait–here.My credit card,you already know the number.If you find something you want buy it,I don't want any excuses. Do you understand?"
Sapnap gently lifted his chin so he could look him in the eyes and Quackity nodded hesitantly before reaching for the credit card.

"Good baby. If something happens,anything,call me. I'll come look for you as soon as I'm done here. Have fun pretty!"
He said before giving him a light kiss on the cheek and then walking towards his destination.

Quackity watched him go while his face was red and his heart fluttered.
A couple of minutes later,when he composed himself,he decided to look around around to find one of the shops that interested him.

"Let's see,where is the store I wanted to visit? It was somewhere on the first floor if I remember correctly"
Quackity walked towards the elevator that was nearby.

Luckily there was almost no one,other than one other person,waiting for it. Better to be 2 than 10,he hated when the elevators were full of people and you couldn't breathe.

He stood in front of the door,waiting for it to open,while the other person, a tall dude,was leaning against the wall next to it. The silence was embarrassing,but nothing could be done about it.

Quackity shrank into himself,trying to cover one of his exposed shoulders with a hand when he noticed that the boy was looking at him with a strange...twinkle in his eyes.

Something in his head told him that he had to get out of there as soon as possible and that the guy was bad news,but the elevator had just arrived and furthermore it would have been a short ride of just one floor,nothing could happen in such a short time.

Even though there were red alarms going crazy in his head he decided to ignore them and I went in anyway. The boy followed him and the door closed behind them leaving them in a space with minimal distance,just the 2 of them.

Quackity leans further away from the stranger,hoping he wouldn't get too close. Wrong.

He didn't know if it was on purpose or not but the boy was leaning a few centimeters away from him,and he swore he saw him lick his lips.
What the hell.

Quackity tried to move away,putting more space between them,but the other dude followed his steps until he got closer again. Now,this was starting to get creepy,maybe he should have listened to his mind.

Quackity tried to move again but was stopped in place when a hand slammed into the left side of his head,causing a deafening sound in the metal elevator.
Shit.

"Why are you moving away from me baby?"
The boy's low,dragging voice made his skin crawl.

They were too close for his taste and comfort,and judging by the breath,this guy was drunk,he didn't know how much though.
Seriously,who's the stupid one who decides to get drunk in the afternoon?

"Mhm? No response? What? Have you already fallen for me pretty?"
Quackity wanted to vomit just thinking about it. Braggart and arrogant,it wasn't really his type.

"No thank you,but I'd rather you stay away from me.You know,personal space is a thing,thanks...."
Apparently,trying to hide his fear with a facade hadn't improved the situation,it had made it worse,because the next minute he found himself blocked on both sides and with the boy very pissed off in front of him.

How long does this damn thing take to get to the first floor?!

"You think you are a smartass with those snarky remarks of yours? Someone didn't teach you how to talk to strangers? Too bad,seems like I need to remind you"
Quackity's knuckles were white as he pressed himself further and further against the elevator wall, begging whoever existed to get him out of this mess.

"No,no please no-"
"Awww,look who's not being snarky anymore. But don't worry baby,when I'll finish with you,you will know how to behave"
The boy said,one hand stroking his right cheek as Quackity moved his head as far away from his touch as possible.

By some divine miracle,the elevator finally stopped,and Quackity was able to breathe a sigh of relief. His hell had just ended, now he just had to–

"Hard to get? That's fine,I like to hunt down my prizes~"
He told him,then moved her hand slightly towards the elevator buttons and stopped it before the doors could open.

The last hope he was holding on to was shattered into a thousand pieces and he began to squirm.

"Let me go! I told you to let me go! I don-"
A harsh sound and a head being slammed hard against the metal wall of the elevator rumbles. His head was spinning and he could already taste blood in his mouth.

"Shut the fuck up,you little bitch! I don't care what you want. You are going to take whatever I offer you,and without a complaint. Do you understand?"
"I-No,I don't want– You can't– please,I won't–"
"Do.you.understand?"
A hand grabbed his chin forcibly, while squeezing his face, hurting him and causing even more pain and blood.

Paralyzed by fear,unable to even create a meaningful sentence,and with tears and blood who decorated this pitiful image of his,he could only nod.

"Good boy"

His mind began to travel again. This time he was no longer in his previous bedroom but in the large dining room.

Judging by the sun high in the sky and the plants in the room,it was the height of summer. He winced as he remembered this conversation,and oh,how can he even possible forget it? It was the start of a nightmare.

"I already told you so fucking much to not dress to flashy,and what do you do? Do you decide to go out dressed like this?! With this shirt and shorts? You are not a street whore,but the partner of the president of a country,fucking act like it!"
Schlatt yelled at him while holding a bottle of vodka in one hand.

"But I didn't do anything! We are in the middle of the summer Schlatt! Of coure I will dress with short clothes!"
Quackity tried to argue with his husband.

"I don't give a damn about it! That's your fucking problem,not mine!"
He screeched,throwing the now empty glass bottle at his face.

Quackity ducked at the last second, not expecting such a violent reaction, only to hear the sound of shattering glass.

Behind him,the bottle had hit a hanging framed photo that he and Schlatt had taken on their wedding day:both were smiling at the camera and were embracing one another.The photo fell on the ground and the protective glass broke.

Quackity glanced quickly at the now destroyed photo,noticing the crack of broken glass between their two figures,before returning his eyes to the person responsible.

"What the hell was that!? You tried to hit me with a fucking bottle! If you got me I would bleed until I had to go to the hospital! What where you thinking?!"
He yelled at him,deep scared of the reaction he might receive. His husband had tried to throw a bottle at him,who knows what else he could do to him...

"Oh for fuck sake,shut up! I hate your stupid voice! So what? I tried to hit you with glass,what's the big deal?! Who do you think you're talking to!? Show respect to your husband,you stupid bitch!"
Schlatt slammed his hands on the table,his face red and contorted with anger and the alcohol his body was processing.

"If you want my respect you should do the same,don't you think?!"
Quackity retorted,hating how their once happy relationship had become toxic. A completely unexpected change in just 3 months.

Schllat didn't like his answer and the raven-haired boy regretted having even opened his mouth when he saw him approaching threateningly.

He was grabbed by the collar of his shirt and thrown onto the wooden table,his back aching and his eyes red from the blow. what the fuck....

Schlatt was a violent man,he knew this even before marrying him,but until now he had never hurted him....

Quackity stared at him as he slowly approached his figure and winced when he saw a new madness in his eyes:they were cold as ice and soulless,with a sinister glint and his pupils dilated as if he were looking at a very interesting new toy.

"Schlatt–"
"Shut up! I do the rules now"
Quackity closed his mouth,wanting to avoid getting hit again. One side of him,however,was telling him to escape before it was too late,from what,he didn't know.

Schlatt could be vile,violent,rule a nation with tyranny and an iron fist,but he could never really hurt him on purpose...right? This was just one time thing,he wouldn't do it again,he just should have been more docile so as not to make him this angry again.

"What? The cat bite your tongue now?"
"I–"
"I didn't give you permission to speak!"
Quackity got a slap across the face receiving a red,throbbing cheek as tears threatened to spill form the corner of his eyes.

"Listen here,I think I was too lenient with you. You don't follow my rules,you don't respect me,you don't do what I say or I order you to do;no no,that's really unacceptable."
Schlatt approached him,pinning him forcibly to the table. Quackity felt his stomach twist at the nonsense he was hearing.

Rules? Orders? What the hell? He was talking like,he was talking like....he was talking like he was a fucking doll who had to follow everything he said,like a boss.

Quackity tried to get out of his grip with every way he could: kicking,screaming,flapping his arms,squirming away from his bruising hold,but it was all in vain,he couldn't do anything. He was helpless.

"Did you finish? Good,fucking finally. Now now,I don't like the way you've been acting up until now. But don't worry,I'll make sure to remind you how to be a good boy."

"No...help...no...please don't...no,no....NO!"

"QUACKITY!"
He was wrapped in strong arms,and thank God he was able to recognize who their owner was otherwise he would have already started screaming.

"SAPNAP!"
Quackity let himself be wrapped in his grip while his body was covered by shivers and sobs,he felt pain everywhere,even his heart was bleeding,and he couldn't do anything about it. He was helpless,he hadn't managed to do anything or prevent anything. Like fucking always.

"Shhh,it's ok, it's ok,it's all over,you're safe.He won't touch you again,I promise you"
He didn't know who she was referring to –the stranger or his ex-husband– but he couldn't believe his words. It had already happened several times, who would have told him it wouldn't happen again?

He couldn't stand the sight of his body,it was covered in purple,red and blue marks on his neck,collarbone and shoulders. His shirt half torn and wrinkled from stretching it too much. His hair disheveled and his beanie thrown into who knows where in the small space. His pants had the waistband pulled down,but the guy had not been able to finish his dirty work.

The elevator doors were violently opened after some complaints from some customers who had reported the alleged failure to the mall staff,Sapnap was one of them. Once resigned that the elevator wouldn't work he headed towards the escalators to join his adorable boyfriend. However,when he passed the elevator he had tried to use before,noticing a group of people in front,he approached the source of interest. He arrived just in time to see the doors being thrown open and 2 figures inside the elevator. Once he recognized one of the 2 figures as his boyfriend,he saw red.

He threw himself onto the other's figure,forcefully pulling him back until he hit his head against the floor.
When the other tried to complain and insult him,he didn't even have time to formulate the sentence because he was already punching him. He had managed to give him a black eye,a split nose and most likely a few broken ribs before the staff restrained him and push him away. Was he going to kill him? Yes. Will he regret it? No. Would he do it again? That fucking bitch be better move to another state before he finally found him again and ended his pathetic life.

Whispers and sobs brought him to his senses,and he stopped struggling from the hold that 2 staff had on him. He turned away noticing his boyfriend flattened against the wall in a fatal pose while whispering "No","Please","Stop it" and "Enough" in disconnection.

Her heart ached at the sight but she decided to steel herself and come closer to console him and give him support. What had just happened was terrible,he didn't want it to scar him for life.

As Sapnap hugged Quackity tightly and protectively to his chest,shielding him from prying eyes,he promised himself to never let him alone in his pain,and to never make him suffer like this again.

"Let's go home,ok?"
"Mhm-mhm"
Sapnap picked him up in strides and dragged themselves out of that hellish place,shopping now forgotten,wanting to get home as soon as possible.

When they returned home Quackity headed straight for their bedroom,without saying a word;and when Karl heard what had happened he burst into tears in his arms.

Quackity's pain was his,but Sapnap wished that he could transfer it so that it can be his alone. Their boyfriend didn't deserve this.

Quackity hadn't left his room in a week.

He refused to meet anyone and Karl and Sapnap's attempts to talk to him didn't work. They left his food in front of his room door:a tray with a plate on it,a glass of water with a bottle,cutlery and even cute notes of encouragement.

He felt guilty usurping the space the 3 of them shared,it was their room after all,not his,it wasn't meant for only one person,but 3. But when Karl and Sapnap stopped by,mainly during the afternoon hours,to talk to him about their days and told him to take his time,as if by magic,they went against this guilt.

"We know that you would feel guilt about the sleeping arrangement,but don't worry. Take your time and don't feel pressured,me and Sapnap sleep in the guest room next to yours,for anything,just open the door..."
Karl had always reminded him that in these 7 days.

And at the late hours,when the night dances free from the restrictions of the day,he could hear knocking on the wall and a muffled voice–a new way they had found to attract his attention and make him understand that they were with him and wish him goodnight.

Sapnap always sat in front of his door while he talked to him for hours about what they were doing and how much he (they) missed him,but to take it easy until he felt better.

What had happened a week ago still burned in his eyes,he could continue to feel the forced and disgusting touch of the person who had forced herself on him without consent.

"Consent is important in a relationship,especially during intercourse or intimate time. It helps us understand that we are protected,that at any moment we can stop what we are doing,that they respect us and our times and to enjoy things."
His therapist had told him during one of their first sessions–when he was still convinced that Schlatt had some form of...own...on his body.

He felt dirty just thinking about being touched by someone other than his partners. Can they still love him even after that? Was he worth of their love? Would they still want him with this body? He was almost....god,he couldn't even finish his line of thought.

Quackity curls up in the corner,wrapped in the covers of their bed. Since he had decided to isolate himself from the rest of the world he had decided to wear a huge black sweatshirt that hid his body,the shame too great to bear.

In front of him there was a light that illuminated half of his face: his phone was buzzing,its screen the only source of light in the darkness of the room,a clear sign that he was having a call. The phone continued to ring until the ringtone stopped and the screen turned off again,leaving him in darkness. Another of many calls from his worried friends that he had decided to ignore,like all the other previous ones.

His half-open,lightless eyes rested on the device turned off,his gaze fell on his wrists: thin strings of scarlet red decorated his skin,shades of black spots running up his entire forearm and purple bruises. In his left hand,enclosed in his fist,there was a lighter;in his right hand a small knife with the blade still dripping red.

This pain,however,was not enough,nothing would have been enough. Every cut,burn,bruise he got was for every slightest time he failed to react, to fight,to escape. It was all too little,he had to do more,he deserve it....for being weak. It didn't matter if the burning was strong,if the blood continued to flow and if the cuts were not disinfected and remained open. He needed to feel pain.

The self-harm…it wasn't the first time he'd done it,last time was.....

"When I will be free? I can't stand this anymore!"
Quackity slumped against the bathroom vanity as he fell to the floor with blood on his wrists. The kitchen knife in the sink as a witness to his crime.

He couldn't stand all this anymore. He desperately wanted to be free,live happily with Tubbo and watch him grow up away from this toxic environment. Being able to live,not survive on the razor's edge every day of his life. Be happy. Something that now seemed like a distant,bitter memory to him.

Marrying Schlatt was the biggest mistake he had ever made. He should have thought about it first,recognized the fact that a violent man could not be tamed,should have noticed that as the first red flag. But no,he was convinced he 'could soften him up' and had fallen into his trap like a butterfly getting stuck in a spider's web. He was so fucking stupid.

He wanted to die,to end it here and to never be able to see his husband face ever again. And he could have done it,the kitchen knife was still in the sink waiting to be used again. All he would have needed to do was grab the knife and push it a little deeper than expected,in 2 minutes it would all be over and he would be free. Yeah,he could do that,he just need to–

"Ma? Here?"
"Shit,fuck–baby,wait a moment! Mama is coming!"
"....Otai"
Quackity curses under his breath before answering the 2 year old,receiving a positive response. At least he wouldn't have to worry that he might start crying.

Panic-stricken,he cleaned the knife until it could shine and decided to disinfect his wrists under boiling water,not wanting to waste time changing the temperature,and trying to be quick so as not to make Tubbo suspicious.

Big mistake,because he had to bite his tongue to keep from screaming from the burning sensation,it was as if he was being cooked alive. Fortunately,once blindfolded and hidden by his shirt sleeve,no one could notice them and they would heal in a couple of days. Of course,as long as Schlatt wasn't in a bad mood...

He opened the door gently,to avoid letting the child fall if he leaned on it,only to realize that he had sat down,in front of it,to wait for him.

"Mama's here sweet angel. Do you need anything?"
"Up! Up!"
Quackity smiled at him and did as requested,picking him up,feeling the cut skin of his wrists tighten from the movement.

Tubbo was an adorable 2-year-old toddler,with big eyes full of joy and curiosity that shone the color of the sky–a deep blue. His body was smaller and thinner than other children his age,apparently the doctors had told him this was normal given his mother's family background–he was just a small baby. He was a ball of energy and affection,always ready to ask the most complicated questions about anything.

He loved him as if he were her son,because he was. The biological link mattered little,with the mother not surviving the birth and Schlatt having become an alcoholic,abusive president,he was the only one left to take care of little Tubbo. But it was better that way,at least Schlatt wouldn't do anything to him.

Tubbo giggled,placing his cheek on his mother's and rubbing it together,while the hold of his little fingers on his shirt tightened it slightly where the heart was.
Awwwww.

"Ma! Ma! Ma!"
The baby continued babbling as he hugged himself to his chest and hid his little blonde head.

Quackity smiled and then walked towards his room,it was almost 5pm and Tubbo should be having is usual nap,so he wouldn't get grumpy in the evening,but strangely today he was awake. Had he had a bad dream?

"Ma's urt"
The baby in his arms made him stop,not expecting to hear such a thing.

"Urt...you mean hurt? I'm hurt?"
He asked, trying to figure out if he had guessed right,Tubbo nodded his little head.

"Ma's urt! I do't ike it"
Tubbo had only recently started speaking long sentences,he had already understood many vocabulary words,and he was ahead of many of his peers,but he was still a child and tended to distort words. It was almost always a challenge to understand what he was saying.

"No baby,mama is fine,I'm not hurt.It's ok sweet angel"
Quackity tried to reassure him,but the boy pouted.

"Liar. Ma's urt here!"
The baby moved his little hands to the spot near where he had grabbed his shirt earlier–over his heart.

Quackity felt himself crying,wanting to tear his hair out and scream in desperation. How did his little angel know? Had he heard it before? Did he know about the fights? About what...was happening? Children were surprisingly emotionally intelligent,his baby was also a little genius,so he shouldn't have been too surprised...right?...right?

"I d't wonna ma urt. Tubbo love ma! Tubbo d't wonna ma sad,he wonna ma happy! If ma's sad Tubbo sad too."
The child said before silently bursting into silent tears.

Quackity began to rock the baby making him calm down,his little face was snuggled on his neck and his little fingers were on his shoulder.

"Mama loves Tubbo too! And don't worry,mama is really happy,I'm not sad or hurt. Mama love so so so much Tubbo."
Quackity said softly as he stroked his hair.

"Teally Much?"
The child asked,his little eyes began to close due to the effort he had made in crying and sleep was coming.

"Yes,really really really much"
"...Tubbo too..."
The grip of the child's little hands became lighter, a clear sign that he had now fallen into the land of dreams.

Quackity took him back to his room,placing him inside his bee-shaped bed–in recent weeks he had begun to demonstrate an obsession with these little things. He stood there for a couple of minutes to make sure everything was okay before closing the door behind him.

Behind it,aware of his child's presence now in the realm of dreams,he began to cry. hard.

God,what was he going to do? Was he really thinking of ending it all and leaving his angel here alone with that monster? Leaving him alone to these horrors and whatever his father could do to him? Had he gone mad?

"I'm so sorry Tubbo,I promise I won't leave you alone"
For a parent,he didn't feel worthy of this title at this moment.

Another trigger,another flashback,he was having a lot of them in the last few days. Quackity wondered if it was a sign whether his recovery was progressing or worsening.Maybe he should have changed therapist...

His phone lit up again.
The icon of a boy with orange hair and a face similar to that of the past appears in front of him.This time it wasn't a call but a message,a simple voice message lasting a few seconds.

Fundy had never texted him,or contacted him much since they'd known each other. For this reason he allowed himself to be curious about it and to access his chat. His hands trembled as he picked up the phone and scrolled through thousands of missed calls and unread messages.

Having found his contact,he clicked on it.With the exception of a few dry back and forth messages there wasn't much to say. Quackity pressed the speech button,raising the volume a little to hear him better.

"Mama! I stole Fundy phone because I wanted to talk to you! I want to tell you that I love you and you are the best mama in the world! Where are you coming to visit me? I miss you so so so so much"
"Tubbo–Is that my phone?!"
".....No?"
"Tubbo!-"
"-Bye mama,I love you!"
And the vocal ended like this. And he started crying.

Oh Tubbo,his sweet child,he had just turned 3 and Fundy had promised him,albeit in an awkward way,that he would watch over him until Quackity could bring him to live with him. A long-lasting and demanding legal process,but which sooner or later will end.

Quackity began to sob,now feeling guilty for what he had done and threw the lighter against the wall,while the small knife slipped from his now weak grip.

The night danced melancholy outside the window,raindrops began to wet the surrounding nature–a perfect atmosphere for his mood.

Quackity spent the rest of the night exhausted but not sleeping a wink. A decision was now made in his mind.
He will tell Karl and Sapnap about all of this,he wouldn't allow himself to do more stupid things and abandon the people he loved because of too much pain.

He owed it to Tubbo,to whom he wanted to give a better future,to his friends who didn't deserve all this treatment,and above all to Karl and Sapnap,who have always been by his side in everything and who want to help him in his sadness.

He wasn't alone.
And now he knew it.

The next day after he had taken a shower,disinfected and bandaged his wounds,changed clothes and had breakfast,he decided to reveal himself to the world. Or in this case to go down to the living room to talk to his boyfriends.

Anxiety ate at him with every small step out of the room he took,but he took courage and continued to his destination. It was barely 2pm,so he knew he would find them both at home,and luckily in the same room. At least he didn't have to look for them one at a time this time.

He found them glued to the television watching a TV series,although there was a certain level of concern in the air. He got their attention with a cough and they both turned their heads at him. As soon as their gazes locked,a thousand emotions were painted on all of their faces. Before either of them could move he decided to open his mouth.

Now or never.

"Guys? Can we talk? I need to tell you something really important..."
Karl and Sapnap looked at each other for a moment,concern in their eyes,before nodding.

"Of course we'll listen to you baby"
"....Do you want to sit on the couch with us?"
Karl asked him and Quackity didn't have to think long before walking over to the right side of the black leather couch and sitting there–his favorite seat.

"So...you know that my marriage wasn't the best and that Schlatt physically and mentally abused of me...but...but he didn't just stop there..."
He had begun,already seeing the resentful expressions of his boyfriends towards his ex-partner.

Quackity took every bit of control he has over his emotions and began to talk.

"He–uhm,he also sexually abused me. I know,it isn't pretty. It was something that he would usually do but...sometimes...yeah–and even though I asked him to stop he didn't,he said it was to educate me. Shitty excuse I know."
Quackity looked down, not feeling brave enough to look them in the eye.

"When I tried to rebel against his attitude he immediately silenced me,reminding me that he could also hurt Tubbo. I told you about him,he is Schlatt's biological son,I don't know who his mother because she died during childbirth,and he recently turned 3....I couldn't let him touch him. So I took it,every fucking time."

"I fell into a period of depression and started self-harming. There was a moment when I even thought about...uhm,about....ending it all. But Tubbo's presence brought me back with my feet on the ground. I certainly couldn't leave him there alone and give this satisfaction to Schlatt"
Quackity continued,starting to play with his fingers to distract himself,deeply grateful that they weren't interrupting him. He needed this,to finally tell them,to be able to vent.

"During this month I began to have flashback episodes of all the abuse I suffered. When I talked to my therapist about it she told me they are triggers...it happened to me for the first time while we were watching the movie,also uhm...a week ago in the elevator,and last night also...but these are just long flashbacks. I've had others that were even shorter or momentary,just an image. But they were always about the same things...."

"I had to change so many things about myself because they didn't suit him,my character,my way of dressing,what I liked...It was too much to bear and I let myself go and....and I cut myself again...and burned myself too..."
Quackity pointed to his wrists,the white bandage showing a little through the sleeves,but he didn't dare look up.

"I'm sorry,I should have told you about it earlier,but I just couldn't do it. I didn't want you to know...that my body had been...I was afraid that you would look at me differently and leave me.....that-that–"
Quackity began to cry,crystal tears falling onto the long sleeves of his sweatshirt as he drowned in despair. He'd been doing it a lot lately–drowning.

Delicate hands rested on his shoulders and his chin was gently raised,finally meeting Karl's gaze. His eyes were red and sparkling with plump cheeks,a clear sign that he was crying throughout his explanation,his arms were shaking too....

"Baby you need to breath. Follow mine ok?"
Quackity nodded and Karl positioned his head on his chest,so that he could feel his heartbeat and follow it.

Behind him he heard a movement,something shifting,and he found himself caged by Sapnap's arms that were embracing him from behind. He pulled him back a little so he could sit him on his lap while Karl was calming him down.

Quackity clutched Karl's shirt burying his head in his chest as he cried,feeling a little guilty about getting it wet since it was his favorite.

Warm hands stroked his raven hair and whispered words of encouragement and sweet nothings.
"You did great","I'm so happy that you told us this","You are so strong","We love you so so much","We will help you through this,You are not alone anymore".

Soon his body was no longer filled with sobs and his eyes were now drained of any possible liquid. They had become a tangle of limbs,he doesn't even remember how they moved from the sofa to their bedroom but he didn't care.

Not when Sapnap was hugging him,from behind,so lovingly and Karl was stroking his hair as they looked into each other's eyes. He could see the sincerity in those eyes and all the love they had for him.

"Thank you....thank you for loving me"
Quackity said breaking the silence that had been created. His voice was weak and tearful from crying,but still audible.

"Aww princess,you don't need to thanks us. You are an amazing person it's impossible that we couldn't fall for you"
Sapnap spoke,placing kisses on the exposed part of his neck.

"Sapnap is right baby,it was fate that we would end up together. You are one of the dearest people we have ever had and when we discovered that you had the same feelings as us it was the happiest moment in our life"
Karl told him as he caressed his cheek.

"Really?"
Quackity's face was red from embarrassment and the amount of love he was receiving,but he still managed to talk.

"Yes"
They both answered at the same time. And then look at each other and giggle.

"Guys can I ask you about something? You don't have to say yes obviously,don't feel obligated or–"
He didn't finish his sentence because Sapnap lifted his chin causing their eyes to lock. He closed his mouth and swallowed at the intensity of the other's gaze.

"For anything,even if you think is stupid,we will still help you. Don't be afraid to ask because the answer will always be a 'yes' no matter what. Understood?"
Sapnap asked him and Quackity nodded feeling his cheeks on fire. He received a smile from the other before releasing his grip and returning him to his previous position.

"So? What do you need to tell us?"
Karl asked as he looked at him with a mixture of concern and curiosity.

"I would love it if you could help me with...all this.....if you guys want...."
A silent cry for help was what Quackity had asked after a month in this situation. He wanted to move forward,not always remain in the past.

There were a couple of seconds of silence before Karl spoke.
"Baby,look at me. We will do everything to support you in this situation,everything. You just have to ask us. We could even give you the moon if you wanted it. You are not alone in this because your pain is ours too,we support each other. Never forget it"

From behind him he could hear Sapnap making a sound of approval.
"We will never leave you alone to fight your demons. We'll take them down together,because that's what we do best."
He said,with his head resting on his shoulder and his warm breath on his neck.

Quackity smiled at them,his eyes finally began to regain color and his hope to rekindle.
"Thank you,you are the best boyfriends I could ever ask for"
He had said, not imagining that he would subsequently be showered with compliments for the rest of the day.

And if that night he fell asleep with a peaceful face,after a whole day of cuddling and being filled with pure love and adoration,that was a secret of his alone.

Truth to their words,Karl and Sapnap followed him during his adventure.

For every slightest problem or discomfort it was enough for him to call the attention of one of the 2 and then find himself protected by the latter.

Once it happened while they were at the supermarket doing some shopping,as he was walking in front of them he suddenly stopped noticing an advertising photograph of a product. It might not have meant anything much to most people,but he will remember that brand of vodka bottle for life. They were the same ones that Schlatt threw at him and–

"Love? Are you ok?"
Karl's hand brought him back to reality as it moved him away from the alcohol.

"Uhm? Yeah...I was just..."
Quackity fiddled with his fingers for a couple of seconds before Sapnap and Karl realized what was happening.

"Let's change aisle,I want to buy a banana"
Sapnap said taking Karl by surprise and getting a laugh from Quackity.
Strange excuse but at least it had worked.

Or that time when they were walking down the streets during a fair and it was full of people. Quackity was afraid of getting lost and being alone,but Sapnap had a strong and warm hold on him to prevent him from getting lost. Unfortunately, that didn't mean people stayed away from him.

On the advice of Sapnap and Karl he had tried to wear the clothes he likes again,unfortunately this time too he had some looks from women who looked at him from head to toe. Luckily though, Sapnap was there next to him,glaring at every person who even tried to get even an inch closer.Karl next to them judged them as if they were the most horrible thing ever created.

Thanks to them he slowly regained the confidence to wear his favorite type of clothes.

Or when there were sad days in which he fell back into the arms of sadness,he was under the weather and couldn't do anything constructive except cry all day.

Karl and Sapnap were with him during those moments and made him vent, making him cry and preventing him from getting hurt. They made him understand that self-harm wasn't the only way he could overcome the pain.

His doctors and therapist were happy to see the great progress he had made in such a short time. And Quackity could only brag about how his boyfriends were the the kindest,most loving,most talented,most amazing people on earth and that it was only because of them that he was healing that fast.

Moving forward wasn't easy,but with people to support you in every little step you could do it. Their strength became yours and their love the will to change things.

He couldn't wait to be able to leave everything behind and be able to live happily together with the most important people in his life.