"Karkat... Karkat, wake up..." A deep male's voice softly beckons from your side. You stir and rub your eyes, blinking a few times until they focus. When they do so, they're focused right on Dave's face. "Cat wanted me to wake you up. She wants you to get ready for the wedding."
He steps back so you can sit up. Glancing around, you come to find you're no longer at the motel. Rather, you're back in your room at your father's house. You frown and look up at him. "How did I get here? Where's Dirk?"
He clears his throat and awkwardly looks away. "Dirk's styling his hair. He was going to wake you himself, but I offered instead. He carried you back to Cat's car and brought you into your room. I didn't touch you."
Your ears lower in embarrassment as you frown. "I wouldn't have yelled at you..."
Dave rubs the back of his neck. "I know. I just think I've already done enough damage."
You purse your lips and frown, "Dave you didn't-"
He cuts you off as he shakes his head, as if to avoid your comment. "Can you help me tie my tie? It's nearly impossible."
Sighing softly, you nod and sit on your knees, taking the tie from him and starting from scratch. There's a long, tense pause as you attempt to adjust it. That is until you speak. "You've always been awful at tying these."
He forces a small, weak smile. "That's why they make clip on's." You exchange nervous chuckles before falling silent again a moment. "You know," Dave begins. "That's just another thing about you I'm going to miss..."
You furrow your eyebrows and look up at him as you finish adjusting his tie. "What else is there to miss?"
You can tell he's fighting tears as the ghost of a fond smile passes his lips. "Your image. Your company. Your smell. Your warmth. Your voice. Your love." He pauses a moment. "Just you in general."
Your heart flutters in your chest. Without even realizing, you'd begun to pull him closer to you by the tie. He seems to comply as he slowly, cautiously leans in. Your faces are about an inch apart when someone knocks at the door. Both of you freeze in your place. Turning your attention towards the intruder, you watch as Dirk opens the door enough to poke his head in. "We uh... We have about an hour. Your dad wants us to get a move on. I'll give you two a sec." Before either of you can even open your mouths, he's gone.
Once again, the tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. The air around the two of you is so fragile that even the slightest breath could shatter it. Neither of you can look away from the other's eyes. Your grip only tightens on his tie. And then, just as you'd feared, it all fell apart as Dave spoke. "K-Karkat, you should probably get ready..."
Your grip slowly loosens until you let your hand fall back onto your lap. You look away, too embarrassed to keep his gaze. "Yeah, thanks."
He stands and clears his throat. "Bro and I are gonna go now, so I guess I'll see you there."
You stare down at your hands. "Right... Yeah, I'll see you at the wedding." Dave opens his mouth one more time, but immediately shuts it. He only casts a small wave in your direction as he leaves, closing the door behind him.
You were so close to kissing him. You could've. In fact, you should've. You could see the longing in his eyes. He misses you just as badly as you miss him. You're both just too stubborn to admit it. Then again, you'd more or less say that the problem is the fear of rejection. You both continually shoot each other down instead of really admitting that you need each other.
What if he's sincere, though? What if he's really through with you? Maybe Dirk was right and Dave's really already moved on. Maybe Dave's been waiting for this day. He probably just puts on the act to make you believe he's torn up over it.
Suddenly, you feel extremely tired and just want to take a nap. You can't do that, though. It's your father's wedding day. It's going to be odd not having Dave as your date. You don't just mean for the wedding, either. You two were going to go to prom together this year. You frown as the pain rises to your chest, pushing a lump up to your throat. You want to cry. You want to cry and you want Dave to comfort you. You just want him to kiss you and say, "Don't cry anymore, Karkat. Angels don't cry. You're too sweet and pure and precious for pain."
But no. You're not any of those things. You're a demon sent from Hell. You're evil and rotten and mean. You deserve pain and hatred. You don't deserve Dave. You don't deserve his love. He deserves to be happy with someone who loves him. He deserves to be with anybody he wants, just as long as it isn't you.
You're crying again. You can feel the tears threatening to spill as you grab your clothes. You can feel them drip down your cheeks as you strip. You can feel your nose start to run as you run the water. You can feel the sobs rack your body as you stand under the scalding hot water of the shower. It mixes with your tears, so it almost feels as though you aren't even crying. You wish the heat of the water could melt away all the bad parts of you to leave you with only the good. You wish it could transform you into the perfect person. Most of all, you wish it could transform you into someone Dave could love.