Eminencentrose requested: SolNep

KARKAT: HMM....

DAVE: and yet another request with karkats technically-not-but-technically-is-boyfriend.

KARKAT: SHUT UP, I'M TRYING TO THINK ABOUT THIS...UNIQUE SHIP...

KARKAT: ALRIGHT, SO PERSONALLY...I DON'T SEE IT.

DAVE: (aint that a coincidence.)

KARKAT: I JUST...DON'T SEE IT HAPPENING. EVER. IN ANY QUADRANT REALLY.

DAVE: (shocker.)

KARKAT: THEY HARDLY TALKED TO ONE ANOTHER. THEY HAVE NEXT TO NO BACKGROUND WITH ONE ANOTHER. YEAH THEY'RE FRIENDS BUT COME ON.
KARKAT: THEY PRACTICALLY FORCE AWKWARD SMALL TALK WITH ONE ANOTHER. I DON'T THINK SOLLUX WOULD EER BE ABLE TO HAVE FEELINGS FOR NEPETA OTHER THAN HIS COMPLETELY PLATONIC ONES.
KARKAT: AND I'M SURE NEPETA IS SMART ENOUGH WITH HER "SHIPS" TO UNDERSTAND THAT IN ORDER TO HAVE A SHIP THE TWO PEOPLE INVOLVED IN SAID SHIP NEED AT LEAST **SOME** CHEMISTRY BETWEEN THEM.

DAVE: (like the chemistry karkat had with sollux way back when.)

KARKAT: BUT I WILL GIVE YOU SOME INSIGHT IN WHAT *I* BELIEVE THEIR FLUSHED LIVES WOULD BE WITH ONE ANOTHER.
KARKAT: AHEM.
KARKAT: THEY'D PROBABLY BOTH BE REALLY GIDDY AT THE START, CAUGHT UP IN THE "HUMAN HONEYMOON PHASE" OF THE RELATIONSHIP AND DO GROSS COUPLE STUFF. Y'KNOW; KISSING, HUGGING, HARASSING OUR OTHER FRIENDS.
KARKAT: NORMAL COUPLE THINGS.
KARKAT: EVENTUALLY, THE LITTLE THINGS THAT THEY "LIKED" ABOUT ONE ANOTHER WOULD SOON BECOME *VERY* ANNOYING.
KARKAT: NEPETA'S CONSTANT CAT PUNS AND ROLEPLAYING AND SHIPPING CHARTS WOULD GET OUT OF HAND AND ANNOY THE SHIT OUTTA SOLLUX.
KARKAT: SOLLUX'S LACK OF ATTENTION BEING GIVEN TO NEPETA WOULD ANNOY HER AND HIS LISP WOULD START TO BUG HER AS WELL. AND HIS WEIRD "TWO" FETISH MIGHT START TO CREEP HER OUT AS WELL.
KARKAT: AFTER A WHILE, THEY'D BREAK UP AND NEITHER WOULD REGRET IT AND THEY PROBABLY WOULDN'T BE "FRIENDS" AFTER THAT.
KARKAT: THAT'S JUST HOW I SEE THEM TURNING OUT.

DAVE: (he forgot to add the part where he magically ends up with sollux. i know he was thinkin' about it.)

KARKAT: DAVE!!! SHUT UP!!! I WAS NOT YOU FESTERING IMBECILE!!
KARKAT: FOR THE ONE HUNDRED BILLIONTH TIME: I DO NOT LIKE SOLLUX!!!!

DAVE: breaking news readers: all ships involving sollux is being biasly judged by karkat. the reasoning behind this bias reaction? the selfish troll wants mr.nerdpants all to himself. readers be warned of this unfair reaction to your beloved ships.

KARKAT: UGH!!!!