@We_the_Fr34k5 requested: Nepquius

KARKAT: !!!!!!!

DAVE: !!!!!!!
DAVE: i dont know why were doing that i just copied karkat

KARKAT: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE THIS IS ACTUALLY AN AMAZING "SHIP" AND I'M GENUINELY VERY EXCITED TO TALK ABOUT THIS SHIT!!!
TALK: !!!!!

DAVE: damn guys. karkats fangirling again.

KARKAT: OKAY FIRST OFF, I'M GOING TO JUDGE THE SHIT OUT OF EQUIUS.
KARKAT: HE IS A SWEATY OAF. HE IS THE WORST, OKAY *ONE OF* THE WORST TROLLS I KNOW. IT SICKENS TO ME TO HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE THAT TO SOME EXTENT HE IS CONSIDERED MY FRIEND. HE IS AN UNDENIABLY CREEPY, BLOOD-CASTE LOVING DOUCHEBAG AND HE HAS PRETTY MUCH *NO* PERSONAL THOUGHTS OTHER THAN THOSE GROSS ASS PORN INFESTED ONES.
KARKAT: HIS QUIRK IS MORE ANNOYING THAN MY PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE SELVES COMBINED. HIS HIGH AND MIGHTY ATTITUDE IS HORRIBLE. HIS CONSTANT NEED TO CENSOR HIMSELF AND OTHERS IS AGITATING. AND HE JUST PLAIN SMELLS BAD.
KARKAT: AND HE IS *PERFECT* FOR NEPETA.

DAVE: (sorta sounds like he had a hate crush on the guy.)

KARKAT: OKAY SO I HAVE TO SAY I NEVER SAW THIS COMING. IT WAS A HUGE ASS SHOCK TO ME WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT NEPETA WAS MOIRAILS WITH EQUIUS. EQUIUS, THE HIGH BLOOD LOVING, KISS-UP FUCK HEAD.
KARKAT: I JUST
KARKAT: IT STILL KIND OF SHOCKS ME.
KARKAT: BUT IT MAKES SENSE YOU KNOW?
KARKAT: EQUIUS NEEDED SOMEONE TO BRING HIM DOWN A FEW PEGS AND WHO ELSE TO DO THAT THAN NEPETA. SHE'S AGGRESSIVE WHEN SHE NEEDS TO BE AND WOULDN'T AND DOESN'T TAKE ANY OF EQUIUS' SHIT. SHE'S ALSO A GREAT LISTENER. I'M ASSUMING THAT. EVERY TIME THEY GO OFF TO HAVE THEIR FEELINGS JAMS THEY TAKE LONGER THAN ANY PAIR OF MOIRAILS I'VE KNOWN.
KARKAT: AND EQUIUS SORT OF *NEEDS* NEPETA. I MEAN, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED HE'S KIND OF FUCKED UP. NOT JUST PHYSICALLY WITH HIS GROTESQUE AMOUNT OF MUSCLES BUT MENTALLY.
KARKAT: ALSO BECAUSE OF HIS GROTESQUE AMOUNT OF MUSCLES. HE HAS LIKE, NO SELF ESTEEM BECAUSE LF HIS ABNORMAL STRENGTH. HE CAN'T EVEN HUG HIS MOIRAIL WITH FEAR OF BREAKING HER SPINE. HOW WILL HE EVER BE ABLE TO HOLD HIS MATESPRIT.
KARKAT: THAT'S WHERE NEPETA COMES IN WITH WHATEVER THE FUCK HER THINKPAN THINKS OF.
KARKAT: AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP ISN'T ONE-SIDED EITHER! I'VE HEARD THAT EQUIUS DOES WHATEVER HE CAN TO HELP NEPETA WHEN SHE'S FEELING SAD ABOUT SOME ARBITRARY SHIT. I'VE HEARD RUMORS THAT HE'S GONE AS FAR AS DRESS UP AS A GIGANTIC SWEATY CAT TO TRY TO MAKE HER FEEL BETTER AND TRY TO LIKE "RP TALK" WITH HER TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR HER TO LET HER FEELINGS OUT.
KARKAT: I JUST
KARKAT: THEY'RE SO WONDERFUL FOR EACH OTHER!!!!

DAVE: they certainly sound like quite a pale pair dude.
DAVE: im glad you could get so fangirly over a cat lover and a horse lover.

KARKAT: THIS IS THE ONLY TIME I WILL BE EXCITED ABOUT ANYTHING EQUIUS RELATED SO SAVOR THE MOMENT.