@RoadOfFate requested: KanTuna

DAVE: lmao
DAVE: this ship sounds like canned tuna
DAVE: ...shit now im hungry
DAVE: fuck man, i knew i shouldnt of skipped the most important meal of day when you served it up daves way.
DAVE: mind if i make myself a sandwich whilst you talk about you and your boyfriends dancestor banging?

KARKAT: SIGH.
KARKAT: SURE, FINE. HAVE FUN.
KARKAT: AND BRING ME BACK SOME HOT CHOCOLATE.

KARKAT: SO, NOW THAT DAVE HAS GONE TO GRACIOUSLY MAKE ME A SNACK, LET'S START THIS SHITFEST.
KARKAT: I HAVE TO SAY, I'M KIND OF CONFLICTED ON THIS ONE PARTICULAR SHIP.
KARKAT: OKAY I'M CONFLICTED ABOUT A LOT BUT AT THE MOMENT I'M CONFLICTED ABOUT THIS ONE.
KARKAT: KANKRI AND PORRIM AND SOME OTHER DANCESTORS HAVE TOLD ME ABOUT KANKRI'S PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH MITUNA. IT SEEMED LIKE THEY WERE PRETTY SOLID FRIENDS.
KARKAT: BEFORE MITUNA'S ACCIDENT HE AND KANKRI WOULD TALK ABOUT DIFFERENT SUBJECTS AND BANTER.
KARKAT: YOU KNOW...BASIC FRIEND THINGS.
KARKAT: THOUGH NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, THEIR FRIENDSHIP SOUNDED SIMILAR TO MY FRIENDSHIP WITH SOLLUX, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE WAY PORRIM DESCRIBED IT.
KARKAT: SHE SAID THAT KANKRI HAD, AT ONE POINT, SOME SORT OF CRUSH ON MITUNA. I DON'T KNOW WHY, ALL I KNOW IS THAT HE DID. OR MAYBE THAT WAS JUST SOMETHING SHE SAID TO ANNOY MITUNA, WE'LL NEVER KNOW.
KARKAT: BUT FROM THE WAY *KANKRI* DESCRIBED HIS ENCOUNTERS WITH THAT GOLD-BLOODED FUCK HE SEEMED TO REALLY ENJOY HIS PRESENCE.  THEY TALKED OFTEN AND WOULD COMPARE DIFFERENT STRATEGIES FOR WINNING THEIR SESSION SINCE, YOU KNOW, KANKRI WAS A SEER OF BLOOD AND COULD BASICALLY SEE THE GODDAMN FUTURE OR SOME SHIT AND MITUNA WAS AN HEIR OF DOOM AND COULD SEE BASIC FUCKING ENEMIES COMING OR WHATEVER IT IS HE COULD DO.
KARKAT: THEY WERE REALLY CLOSE AND AS FAR AS I KNOW, IT HURT KANKRI LIKE A BITCH TO KNOW THAT THE SAME MITUNA HE KNEW IS GONE.
KARKAT: KANKRI STILL TRIES TO HAVE THOSE LITTLE MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS WITH MITUNA BUT SHIT DOESN'T REALLY HAPPEN. ALTHOUGH EVERY ONCE IN A BLUE MOON HE GETS IT AND IT'S LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED TO MITUNA.
KARKAT: BUT I DON'T THINK KANKRI WILL EVER REALLY HAVE A CHANCE WITH MITUNA, NOT ANYMORE AT LEAST. HE'S FLUSHED HORN OVER HEELS FOR LATULA AND IF IT'S STAYED THAT FOR THIS LONG, IT'LL STAY THAT WAY FOR A LOT LONGER.

DAVE: yeah, what he said.
DAVE: tbh i feel bad for the dude. both of them.
DAVE: but kankris had this long to get over it. and besides, hes a celibate now right?
DAVE: doesnt that mean like no quadrants or no sexual quadrants or some shit?
DAVE: hes survived this long, he can survive longer. plus theres plenty other trolls in the dream bubbles.
DAVE: heres your hot chocolatey milk.

KARKAT: JESUS FUCK THAT'S HOT.

DAVE: not as hot as you tho.