@-AmazingBianca requested: JohnVris

DAVE: ...ehhhhhhhhh

KARKAT: NO, DON'T YOU "EHHHHHHH" THIS. THIS ONE IS ALL YOU.
KARKAT: I HAVE NEXT TO NO OPINION ON THIS SHIP.
KARKAT: *YOUR* BEAT FRIEND, *YOUR* REACTION.

DAVE: ehhhhhhhhhh

DAVE: ehhhhhhhh
DAVE: soo....johnvris....
DAVE: john and vriska...
DAVE: well...they certainly...both like the color blue.
DAVE: thats something.
DAVE: and they both like nic cage.
DAVE: ..........
DAVE: yeah i cant see them together honestly.

KARKAT: YOU DO KNOW THAT SOME VARIATION OF THEM DATED, RIGHT? SOME OTHER TIMELINE JOHN AND VRISKA ACTUALLY HAD THE HOTS FOR ONE ANOTHER AND HAD GROSS, INTERSPECIES MAKE-OUT SESSIONS IN THE DREAM BUBBLES OR SOME SHIT.
KARKAT: OR MAYBE IT WAS *THIS* JOHN THAT DATED SOME OTHER VRISKA.
KARKAT: NO...I'M PRETTY CERTAIN IT WAS A DIFFERENT JOHN.

DAVE: dude gross.
DAVE: whyd they break up tho

KARKAT: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. DO YOU THINK I CARRY AROUND A LITTLE BLACK BOOK OF REASONS WHY DIFFERENT COUPLES BROKE UP? DO YOU THINK I WALK AROUND AND ASK, "HEY, WHY DID YOU BREAK UP WITH THAT LOSER OVER THERE?" AND THEN WRITE IT DOWN TO BE USED FOR FUTURE REFERENCE?

DAVE: dont you?

KARKAT: NO I DO NOT!!!!!!

DAVE: lame.
DAVE: but anyway
DAVE: i seriously dont see john and vriska together. like, i cant. ive spent three years with vriska getting to know her and shit and i just
DAVE: i dont see them really working out.
DAVE: not gonna lie, vriska can be a bitch. a manipulative annoying bitch thatll go to a certain extreme to get her way.
DAVE: those are mainly karkats words btw
DAVE: and john...is not that.
DAVE: hes like, super nice. yeah sometimes he can snap and go full fucking ballistic but hes not constantly going the extreme ya feel?
DAVE: besides, vriska would probably be better off with someone who doesn't use his windy powers to move the clouds in the sky so theyll form a giant dick.
DAVE: yeah i thought theyd be cute together once upon a time but now after EVERYTHING that happened and how much everything and everyone has changed, they just dont seem very good together.
DAVE: may vriska find herself a nice guy or gal who doesnt make giant cloud dicks then wake everyone up at five in the morning to watch the sunrise, only to cast a giant penis shadow across our new earth and get himself thrown into cantown jail by our firm but fair Mayor.