Eminencentrose and @RaimbowPhoenixWrites requested: JohnRoxy

DAVE: hmmmmm

DAVE: B/

KARKAT: WHAT IS IT?

DAVE: im trying to decide whether or not i should be excited about this ship or not...
DAVE: idk tbh
DAVE: its kind of weird for me????
DAVE: just a bit tho
DAVE: ...
DAVE: just a lot
DAVE: ...
DAVE: just in that in between state of a lot and a little
DAVE: eh, lets just say its a bit weird for me.

KARKAT: WHY?

DAVE: my moms dating my best bro dude
DAVE: its kind of weird
DAVE: like what if idk kankri started dating...sollux or kanaya or another one of your best buds
DAVE: or would it be your crabdad?
DAVE: imagine your giant crab monster dad dating one of your best friends.

KARKAT: THAT'S DISTURBING.

DAVE: yeah man.
DAVE: just imagine if they get married.
DAVE: would i have to call john dad???

KARKAT: ...I...I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO THAT...

DAVE: yeeeeeeeaaaaaaah
DAVE: lets just talk about how glad i am for them tho
DAVE: i seriously am!
DAVE: my mom deserves to be happy! especially after living through, yknow, the game and all that shit that happened in her session.
DAVE: plus johns a great dude and i know that hell uh
DAVE: make....good choices and shit
DAVE: not that my mom isnt a responsible adult
DAVE: teenager? god?
DAVE: idfk i know she can take care of herself.
DAVE: ...
DAVE: ...i had to have the "wear condoms" talk to with john tho...just to be safe.
DAVE: even if we kind of need more human's rn
DAVE: ...
DAVE: uh
DAVE: yeah, im glad that john and roxy are happy! theyre great together! ive never seen john happier and dirk has told me that he hasnt seen roxy so happy too! so yeah, this ship is great!
DAVE: ...just weird as fuck knowing that one day i might have to call john "dad"
DAVE: bro what if they have kids
DAVE: id have a brother
DAVE: dude im grossing myself out

KARKAT: HOW????

DAVE: im thinking about my mom and best bro doing the nasty and its nasty

KARKAT: ONLY DAVE STRIDER WOULD ACCIDENTALLY MAKE HIMSELF THIMK ABOUT HIS TEENAGE MOTHER AND LIFE LONG BEST FRIEND HAVING SEX.
KARKAT: AND START WONDERING IF HE'D HAVE TO CALL HIS BEST FRIEND DAD.
KARKAT: YOU KNOW, THAT WHOLE "DAD" THING MAY BE UNCOVERING SOME DEEPLY BURIED KINK YOU HAVE.

DAVE: DUDE.