Eminencentrose requested: ♠️ JohnRezi

DAVE: oh fuck
DAVE: ohhhhh fuuuuuuuck

KARKAT: WHY.
KARKAT: I'M NOT ENJOYING THIS AND IT HASN'T EVEN STARTED.
KARKAT: THIS IS PAINFUL TO LOOK AT.

DAVE: same here.

KARKAT: NO GOOD ASSWIPE.
KARKAT: "OH NO KARKAT, I'D NEVER GET CAUGHT UP IN THOSE WEIRD TROLL FEELINGS!!! WHO WOULD *EVER* LOVE-HATE SOMEONE!!!? THAT'S JUST STUPID!!!"
KARKAT: JOHN FUCKING EGBERT IS THE BIGGEST LIAR IN ALL OF PARADOX SPACE!!!!
KARKAT: WHAT HAPPENED WHEN ***I*** HAD PITCH FEELINGS FOR HIM???
KARKAT: HE JUST REJECTED ME AS IF I WERE SOME HORRIBLY PRODUCED MOVIE!!! I WAS NOTHING MORE THAN YESTERDAY'S GRUBS UP FOR CULLING. BUT THEN HERE COMES TEREZI!!
KARKAT: I BET IT'S BECAUSE SHE HAD THOSE COOL ASS WING THINGIES.

DAVE: lmao karkats jealous.

KARKAT: I AM NOT!!!! I'M JUST UPSET THAT JOHN SO SUDDENLY CHANGED HIS MIND ABOUT PITCH FEELINGS.
KARKAT: IT'S FRUSTRATING!!!

DAVE: i feel you dude.
DAVE: but you know i also  think maybe its cause john really isnt into dudes.
DAVE: not every guy you meet is gonna be into dudes you know. though it has been a surprisingly large number that ARE into the same sex.

KARKAT: YEAH I KNOW...BUT IT STILL STINGS....
KARKAT: SIGH, I GUESS WE SHOULD ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT THE SHIP.
KARKAT: DON'T GET US WRONG, WE'RE HAPPY FOR THEM!! I'M JUST BITTER ABOUT THE WHOLE JOHN THING.

DAVE: yeah and im kinda weirded out that my best bro is hate-dating a chick i nearly started dating.
DAVE: its weird...
DAVE: but the two of them are pretty goddamn adorable together. you can tell theyre both hella into each other.
DAVE: its nice knowing that theyre both so happy after having an onslaught of shitstorms pouring down on them.
DAVE: you can tell it's a very healthy pitch relationship and im pretty sure theyre gonna last a long ass time hating each other.
DAVE: plus now john gets a bit more educated on troll culture and shit.

KARKAT: YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD THING I SUPPOSE. BUT AS LONG AS TEREZI IS HAPPY I'M OKAY WITH IT. I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'D STOP IF I WASN'T OKAY WITH IT. BUT YEAH, I'M HAPPY THAT SHE'S HAPPY WITH SUCH A FEELINGS FLIP-FLOPPING JACKASS.
KARKAT: FUCKING ASSHOLE...
KARKAT: AND NO I'M NOT JEALOUS DAVE!!!

DAVE: i didnt say anything but k
DAVE: you arent jealous.
DAVE: youre just bitter i get it.

KARKAT: HMPH, NEXT THING YOU KNOW HE'LL FEEL ASHEN FOR SOMEONE.
KARKAT: THE RIDE NEVER ENDS!!!