Eminencentrose requested: JohnKat

DAVE: oh my fucking god
DAVE: yall just love to torture me
DAVE: i mean, come ON.

KARKAT: DAVE CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

DAVE: i am calm. im chill. im as cool as a goddamn cucumber in winter in the offspring of antarctica and canada. thats how chill i am.
DAVE: now lets hit the ground running, shall we?

DAVE: alright. john....is my very best bro. lets start with that.
DAVE: hes a great dude. a great leader. a great hero. a great prankster. hes just a great guy in general.
DAVE: ive known john for a really long time and i know for a FACT that if he were to hook up with someone hed treat them like goddamn royalty.
DAVE: you know those posts you always see? like someone putting "oh i wish my boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever did this for me" and it's a picture of their partner bringing them food or something nice to their house without anyone asking them to?
DAVE: john is one of those guys.
DAVE: hed make sure his significant other would always feel all nice and warm and fuzzy inside.
DAVE: karkat...hes not one of those guys unfortunately.
DAVE: karkat is more....they physical affection type. hed make you feel all nice and safe and loved as he cuddles you for hours with a chick-flick playing in the bg.
DAVE: karkat is one of those guys and i am pretty sure john is the kind of guy who also craves physical attention.
DAVE: ...
DAVE: karkat and john are both really close to me...
DAVE: but i just...i honestly cannot see karkat with john.
DAVE: with anyone really.
DAVE: not that john and karkat wouldnt be great together its just that...im selfish. i cant see my best friend...with my boyfriend. like, its legit physically impossible for me to do so.
DAVE: im selfish and i dont want to imagine my matesprit with another dude, let alone my best bro.
DAVE: but that doesnt mean i aint scared that the prankmaster will one day swoop my troll boyfriend off his tiny lil feet and steal him away to some mystery movie dungeon.
DAVE: but uh, yeah.
DAVE: hopefully i didnt piss off any shippers with my major karkat greed lmao.