@2olluxFuckiingCaptor requested: DirkJake

KARKAT: NOW YOU CAN PROPERLY REACT DAVE!!! AREN'T YOU EXCITED.

DAVE: yay, i get to judge my older brothers relationship.
DAVE: whoop-dee-doo.

DAVE: alright, im p sure everyone knows what the fuck went on between these two.
DAVE: if not, heres a quick recap.
DAVE: dirk was a bit clingy and pushy and ultimately they broke up and did not talk to one another throughout the rest of their session.
DAVE: shit was kind of awkward tbh
DAVE: solely judging from that, they were a very bad couple. from what i know. dirk was  and pushy and pretty much a shitty ass boyfriend.
DAVE: he didnt allow jake a moments rest.
DAVE: but that was then. dirk has gotten better at that whole "talking and interacting with people" thing. which is good.
DAVE: he isnt exactly the model person yet but hes getting there.
DAVE: dirk has apologized to jake about the whole thing between them and theyre on good terms now. theyre talking and hanging out and generally just...cool with one another.
DAVE: dirk even spent the night over at jakes once.
DAVE: i know that he wants to immediately go back into a relationship with jake but he also knows that he cant just do that shit because of what happened and hes letting shit happen naturally between them.
DAVE: with that in mind, i honestly think that now they may be a great couple. as long as dirk does that whole "not try to control and manipulate and push my boyfriend" thing. that shit is a no-no in any and all relationships.
DAVE: but uh, yeah. dirks really trying to better himself and i think if he keeps it up he and dirk will be the third best couple here.

KARKAT: THIRD? WHO'S THE FIRST AND SECOND?

DAVE: first is obviously rose and kanaya dude. second is us.

KARKAT: THE INTER-SPECIES SPACE LESBIANS HAVE US BEAT YET AGAIN.

DAVE: you cannot win with the dynamic duo of super intimating moms.