erisolshipper requested: DaveSol

DAVE: ya got to be shitting me.
DAVE: this is completely unfair, not only to me but to karkat too. i mean, whats he supposed to do? he cant just say 'sollux cant be with Dave because i want sollux to myself', even though we all know hea thinking that.

KARKAT: I AM NOT YOU DICKWAD. LET'S JUST GET THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE SHIP REACTION OUT OF THE WAY SO WE CAN CONTINUE WITH OUR NORMALLY SCHEDULED DAY.

DAVE: (ugh this is grosssssss)

KARKAT: DAVE SHUT UP!
KARKAT: ALRIGHT THEN, LET'S BEGIN. FIRST OFF, DAVE IS SORT OF RIGHT. THIS IS KIND OF GROSS. I MEAN, NO OFFENSE BUT?????
KARKAT: HOW DO YOU PEOPLE COME UP WITH THIS SHIT? DAVE AND SOLLUX DON'T TALK. LIKE AT ALL. OR AT LEAST NOT THAT I KNOW OF.

DAVE: he and i have shared a couple of awkward conversations but other than that there has been legit no talking between us whatsoever.
DAVE: like none. nada. zilch.

KARKAT: SEE!!!! THIS JUST...IT CONFUSES ME. THEY BARELY TALK SO...I DON'T SEE ANY *REAL* EVIDENCE THAT THEY'D WORK TOGETHER IN A RELATIONSHIP. BUT WHATEVER.
KARKAT: I DO THINK, HOWEVER, THAT THE TWO OF THEM WOULD BE PRETTY FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC FRIENDS THOUGH. LIKE...SOLLUX WOULD BE A SORT OF...SECOND JOHN TO DAVE. BUT NOT REALLY...THEY'D JUST BE GREAT FRIENDS. I KNOW THAT.
KARKAT: THE TWO OF THEM WOULD BOND OVER HORRIBLE SARCASM AND THE DESIRE TO ANNOY PEOPLE, MORE SPECIFICALLY ME.
KARKAT: MAYBE SOME MORE THINGS I'M NOT SURE. I JUST KNOW FOR A FACT THAT THEY'D BE GOOD FRIENDS.
KARKAT: DAVE, ANY THOUGHTS?

DAVE: its gross.
DAVE: like, i heard he had two alien tenta-dicks down there. i can barely handle ONE tentacle dick, i probably cant handle TWO.
DAVE: idk man, i just dont see myself having romantic feelings for the dude. hes a cool guy and all and itd be great if he and i could hang more but thats about it.
DAVE: maybe i could have black feelings for him? he kinda gives off that vibe, like i could easily gain those feelings for him....if i were a troll.
DAVE: i dont really feel pitch feelings.
DAVE: but yeah, friends is great but romantic is gross.

KARKAT: AMAZING. MY SECRET PLAN TO KEEP SOLLUX ALL TO MYSELF HAS SUCCEEDED.

DAVE: i fuckin knew those were your intentions.