@OtakuGemini13 requested: CroTuna

DAVE: and yet another ship that doesnt have the high honor of getting my big stamp of strider judgement.
DAVE: such a shame.

KARKAT: YEAH, A REAL SHAME THAT WE CAN'T HAVE YOU BLABBERING ON ABOUT TWO TROLLS YOU KNOW NEXT TO NOTHING ABOUT. HOW WILL WE EVER SURVIVE?

DAVE: its simple really, you wont. ill have to live on without your charming screams and will be the sole judge on random ships that are requested.

KARKAT: MHMM. YOU KEEP DREAMING STRIDER.
KARKAT: ANYWAY, LET'S START JUDGING THESE TWO SAD SAPS.
KARKAT: FROM WHAT I'VE GATHERED OFF OF MITUNA IS THAT HE ISN'T EXACTLY...TOO FOND OF CRONUS. AND I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHY. CRONUS IS KIND OF A DICK. AND I DON'T MEAN THAT IN A NICE WAY OR A FLIRTY WAY. CRONUS IS A FUCKING DICK.
KARKAT; THAT GREASE LOVING SCUM SUCKER HAS THE GODDAMN AUDACITY TO MAKE FUN OF MITUNA BECAUSE HE ISN'T EXACTLY HEALTHY.
KARKAT: AT FIRST, I THOUGHT MITUNA WAS JUST TRYING TO ANNOY ME BUT WHEN I ACTUALLY LEARNED THAT HIS THINKPAN SERIOUSLY ISN'T RIGHT I IMMEDIATELY APOLOGIZED AND I EVEN MADE IT UP TO HIM!!
KARKAT: HAS CRONUS DONE THAT? NO. AND I DON'T THINK HE PLANS TO. HE'S JUST A DICK FOCUSED ON HOOKING UP WITH MEENAH AND IT'S SAD.
KARKAT: IT'S SAD THAT THE SEA DWELLING FUCK FACE THINKS IT'S FINE TO JUST MESS WITH AND BULLY MITUNA JUST BECAUSE HE'S "NOT NORMAL".
KARKAT: ANY TROLL WITH ANY SORT OF COMMON DECENCY WOULDN'T DO THAT. AND WITH THAT BEING SAID I FOR ONE, AM COMPLETELY *AGAINST* THIS SHIP. NO OFFENSE TO WHOEVER SHIPS THIS HORRIBLE ASS SHIP BUT LIKE, WHAT THE FUCK GUYS?
KARKAT: WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SEE SOMEONE HOOK UP WITH THEIR TORMENTOR? SHIT JUST ISN'T RIGHT.
KARKAT: BESIDES, MITUNA IS REALLY HAPPY WITH LATULA AND I DON'T WANT NECESSARILY WANT TO ENVISION HIM WITH ANYONE OTHER THAN THE PERSON THAT BRINGS JOY TO HIS PITIFUL LIFE.