Mom: Arguing? What about you?
You have such a loud mouth, no wonder dad hated you!
God, I've worked harder than you ever could
Because my side of the family devalued you for wood

Your dad wouldn't stand for this before I divorced him
He's been way more psychotic than you were before him
I will admit, I'm a bit of a bitch
But this bitch is gonna teach you how not be a fat shit!

Me: Really, is that the best you got?
Did you really come up with that or did you fucking smoke pot?
Every time I hear an insult like this, I ignore it
Because instead of you being a teacher, work at the Sephora!

You should be grateful that you have a 23 year old son who knows what he's doing
He's smart, and he's getting cheered while at you there's booing
You think with my looks I'm not that manly?
It's probably you that's the biggest bitch in the family!

You know what you were doing at the school with little girls and dudes
But as a person, you can't even get a good review!
I'm so glad we talked cause I needed get this off my chest
Now go back to the swamp Donkey, no, I mean Shrek!