Anti-Tobio Kageyama Campaign + Mirae

Kunimi
They go to the city for a few days and they've already forgotten about us country boys

Kindaichi
Yeah, they won't even text us back anymore

Mirae
Oh God...
Guys I am so sorry!
This convention has been crazy

Emiko
You losers need my attention, don't you?
Well sorry to burst your bubble but I haven't been getting attention either
And if I'm not getting attention neither are you

Kindaichi
Hey Mirae
Hi Emiko

Kunimi
Shut up Emiko
Anyways, you guys should make it up to us

Kindaichi
Isn't that a bit straightforward?

Emiko
Kunimi, I hate you

Kunimi
Sure you do

Mirae
I think we all should hangout once this convention is over
It feels like I haven't seen you guys in months

Kunimi
Bet

Kindaichi
Sounds like a plan

Emiko
But like- I don't want to

Mirae
You were literally complaining about this the other day
Complaining that we haven't seen them in so long

Emiko
Wow
That was for your ears only

Kindaichi
Awe, Emiko wants to spend time with us

Emiko
😐

Mirae
:)

Emiko
Whatever
Oh wait!
Guys, you'll never believe what happened today
Guys
Don't ignore me
Ask me what happened today?

Kindaichi
What happened today?

Emiko
I was almost kidnapped!

Kunimi
Lies

Mirae
Impossible

Kunimi
No one would willingly kidnap you

Mirae
They'd bring you right back

Emiko
Um
RUDE

Kindaichi
You're in Hyogo, right?
How were you almost kidnapped?

Emiko
Thank you Charred Onion as least someone appreciates me here

Kunimi
Wow this is new
A thank you? Impossible
Who are you and how did you get a hand on Emiko's phone?

Emiko
I am me!

Mirae
Leave it to Emiko to throw in an insult to someone who's trying to be nice

Kunimi
This is why we have to be mean, rude, ruthless and anti-Emiko

Emiko
Take that back!
Both of you!

Kindaichi
That sentence was almost right
But you just had to throw in the Charred Onion nickname
Whatever. Progress is progress

Kunimi
No
Don't settle for less
You deserve better

Emiko
Ooh
Kunimi has the hots for Kindaichi😏

Mirae
Awe that's cute
Let me know if you two need help planning a date night
I have some great ideas

Emiko
You went on one date
ONE

Mirae
Oh I'm sorry
As if you've been on any

Emiko
For the record

Mirae
Don't even
If you lie it'll look so sad

Emiko
Maybe I went on a date here in Hyogo

Mirae
Wow
Suddenly the selective vision and hearing comment makes sense
Everyone in Hyogo must be blind and deaf

Emiko
I am a lovely person Mirae
10/10
Much better than the demon queen

Kindaichi
Are we going to overlook the fact that you two set us up?

Kunimi
Interesting

Mirae
At least the Demon Queen got married

Emiko
No
False
My father is trapped

Kunimi
Stockholm syndrome

Emiko
There is no love between them

Kindaichi
I thought your mom married into your dad's family?

Emiko
Yeah she's trying to sever all ties with the Ukais
It's boiling her blood that I'm living with my Uncle Keishin
Sucks to be the demon queen tho cuz I love him

Mirae
Ukai hates you
He said so

Emiko
What's that?
Mirae dropped the honorifics for her Coach?
An opportunity to screenshot?

Mirae
Do it
The first thing he'll notice is you talking about him
And anytime you even look at him he thinks you're plotting
You'll just give him an excuse to take your phone

Emiko
Listen here you

Kunimi
Boring
Talk about something new
How am I supposed to contribute to this conversation

Mirae
You could help me provoke Emiko

Kindaichi
No

Kunimi
I would but the score is currently 2:158
I feel sorry for her

Kindaichi
What?

Emiko
You made that number up!
There is no way I am losing that bad

Kunimi
You're still losing

Kindaichi
New topic!
Emiko you said something about being kidnapped?

Kunimi
You believe her?

Emiko
RUDE
Anyways, Inarizaki was playing a practice game and after when the other team was going to leave, they crowded around me and started moving me outside to their bus
I had to get saved from the middle of a dozen seven foot volleyball players
It was intense

Kunimi
A likely story

Emiko
What?
You don't believe me?

Kunimi
No one believes you

Mirae
You sure you weren't just following them out to their bus?

Kunimi
Yeah and now you are exaggerating the story

Kindaichi
You are a dramatic person and you get easily distracted

Emiko
Were any of you there?
You have to believe me!
I was almost kidnapped!

Kunimi
Sure

Mirae
Okay

Kindaichi
We believe you

Emiko
I hate you
All of you
The betrayal I feel right now is immense!

Kunimi
Wow
She's using big words

Mirae
Careful Emiko you don't want to hurt yourself

Kindaichi
Did you search for that word in a dictionary?

Emiko
Um rude!
My vocabulary is not limited thank you very much!
And why in the freaking world are Kunimi and Mirae teaming up against me?

Kunimi
Lies

Emiko
There is so much going on here
But I guess you guys won't believe me

Kunimi
Yeah we didn't ask

Kindaichi
I'll listen to you Emiko

Emiko
Too late I already texted my best friends Mad Dog and Kogane
That's right I've replaced all of you

Kunimi
Bet

Mirae
Okay but that's two people
We're three here

Kunimi
Lol she can't count

Emiko
Hey I have an idea
Let's change this groupchat name to EVERYONE ATTACK EMIKO

Kunimi
Good idea

Mirae has changed the groupchat name to Everyone Attack Emiko

Emiko
I hate you all

Kindaich
But I haven't done anything?

Emiko
That's the damn point

Kindaichi
You want me to bully you like them?

Emiko
I'm not going to answer that

Kunimi
You did this to yourself lol

Emiko
LITERALLY HOW!

Mirae
Do you want that list alphabetized?
Or by the severity of harm caused?

Kunimi
Lol this is great

Kindaichi
No this isn't great
You two are being unnecessarily aggressive

Mirae
Lies

Kunimi
You have no proof

Kindaichi
You both sound like Emiko
When she's attacking me for no reason other than existing

Emiko
Are you losers trying to be me?

Mirae
-_-

Kunimi
Who's gonna tell her?

Emiko
Okay what is this?
Bully Emiko Ukai month??

Kunimi
We can't help it

Mirae
You make it too easy

Emiko
That's it!
Mirae you are not allowed to talk to Kunimi anymore!
He has to make his own friends
He can't just steal mine

Mirae
Um here's an idea
How about no?

Kunimi
Excellent idea Mirae
I think it's genius

Emiko
It is not genius!
I forbid any more Mirae+Kunimi time

Kunimi
You can't forbid anything
She's helping me because I need her

Kindaichi
Okay that's a lie

Mirae
No it isn't
Kunimi is in a vulnerable place right now
He needs emotional support

Kindaichi
He's lying to you
He's manipulating you
He's being a sneaky bastard

Kunimi
Lies

Emiko
But suffering is normal for him. It's his default setting

Kunimi
Gee thanks

Emiko
I'm just saying
You always look like you're done with life
Your whole aura is 'Come and Take Me Death'
Do I need to resend those pictures that I have of you?

Kunimi
I thought I told you to delete those
And too bad my aura isn't working

Emiko
And I told you those pictures make me laugh
But what the hell happened to Kunimi for him to be suffering more so than usual?

Kunimi
👁🤔👩🏻👁🤗👩🏻
👩🏻❌🧠
🤯🤬😡🥺

Emiko
What is that supposed to mean?
Seriously
Use your words, you've been spamming emojis for the past week

Mirae
You can't read that?

Emiko
Don't even try to play with me right now Mirae
I know you can't read that either

Mirae
Yes I can

Emiko
Liar!

Mirae
Your baseless accusations are unnecessary!

Emiko
You're unnecessary!

Kindaichi
Why is everyone so angry?

Kunimi
🧑🏻🔪👩🏻👉🏼👻👉🏼⚰️👉🏼☠️

Emiko
Huh?
Wait-
Hold up-
HE'S GOING TO MURDER ME???
WTFFFF

Kunimi
😂🖕🏼

Mirae
Is that so?
Kunimi do it

Kindaichi
What the- No!
Stop!
What is wrong with you?!

Kunimi
🥴🤐😚😊

Emiko
I will take the initiative to admit him into a mental hospital
You're welcome

Mirae
You should admit yourself too
Maybe you guys can be roommates

Kindaichi
Maybe Emiko and Kunimi need to talk things out

Mirae
In the mental ward

Kunimi
No
Talking is overrated

Mirae
Bold of you to assume she can hold a conversation for more than three seconds

Emiko
Are you guys questioning my intelligence?

Mirae
What intelligence?

Kunimi
You? Intelligence?
No that doesn't seem right

Emiko
RUDE

Kindaichi
That is a little uncalled-for guys

Emiko
And on this special month as well!

Kindaichi
Special month?

Emiko
I'm going to give you a pass here Kindaichi because you are the only one who texted me happy birthday

Kunimi
I'm not saying hbd
I'm mad at you

Emiko
Bruh
If anything I should be mad at you!
And its too late now. I don't want your hbd wish

Kunimi
Good. I'm not saying it

Emiko
Why are you being so extra?

Kunimi
Me? Extra? Impossible

Emiko
Mirae what do you have to say for yourself?

Mirae
I was busy

Kunimi
You don't need to lie Mirae
You probably forgot
It's not that memorable anyway

Emiko
Excuse you?!

Kunimi
Sagittarius' are just 🤢🤮

Emiko
I can excuse the demon queen for forgetting but YOU Mirae?
I had higher expectations

Kindaichi
The Aries in you is really showing

Kunimi
Good

Kindaichi
Ease up guys

Emiko
Which parallel universe have we entered that you two are bullying ME and Kindaichi is trying to save my honour?!

Kunimi
You have no honour

Mirae
?

Emiko
My ancestors are ANGRY with your ancestors
They will be in contact
Prepare for WAR!

Kunimi
Bet
My ancestors disowned me

Emiko
Oh

Mirae
So what happens now?

Emiko
I'm not sure
I don't know the rules for spiritual war against disowned grandchildren
Ha disowned?
Couldn't be me. I could never

Kunimi
My grandparents are alive don't kill them off you freak

Kindaichi
Where is this conversation headed?

Mirae
Kunimi you can borrow my ancestors for the war

Emiko
I already told you that your ancestors are weak
They won't stand a chance against my ancestors

Kindaichi
You guys can borrow my ancestors too

Kunimi
Thanks man

Mirae
Ooh now this seems interesting

Emiko
What the- No!
This is definitely against the rules of spirit war

Kunimi
Prepare yourselves Suzuki Clan
For the Coup D'etat

Emiko
Bold of you to assume I'm referring to the Suzuki Clan
No, I am referring to the Ukai ancestry
Please, my family line is so strong no other ancestry stands a chance

Kindaichi
We're getting front row tickets to the war

Emiko
You are all going to hell
I'll make our guardian dragons drag you there by your hair

Kunimi
Sure
Only if your ancestors win

Emiko
How dare YOU question OUR strength?

Kindaichi
But it's not your strength
It's their spiritual strength
You are alive so you can't contribute to it

Emiko
Oh no problem
I won't be alive much longer anyway here in Hyogo
I'll join them soon enough😊👍🏼

Mirae
Can I contact you via séance?
I heard the Ouja board is a reliable way to contact the dead

Emiko
I am literally going to haunt you and three lines of your generation

Mirae
Ooh! Like in Yua Loves Eichii!!

Kunimi
Speaking of Yua Loves Daichi

Kindaichi
Eichii

Kunimi
Did you watch the most recent episode?

Mirae
I did!

Kunimi
I'm surprised you haven't called Kindaichi yet
You guys always talk right after the episode airs

Emiko
Ooh I sense drama

Mirae
There is no drama
I've just been really busy in Tokyo

Emiko
Yeah, so busy that you can't pick up my phone calls
Or send a happy birthday text

Mirae
Just drop it already

Kunimi
Shut-up Emiko this isn't about you
Anyways
I'm sure you can spare a few minutes
You guys love that show

Mirae
The Coach has kept me on my feet
I'm up by 5 am and back in bed by midnight

Kindaichi
It's okay Mirae I understand

Emiko
Wait they've made you a SLAVE?!
That is unacceptable!
Are they paying you well??

Mirae
Emiko
This is a student program
Volunteer

Emiko
They're paying me

Mirae
No they're not

Emiko
They will be when I file my lawsuit

Kunimi
You're on drugs, aren't you?

Emiko
I have proof
I will demand compensation for physical and emotional abuse
Trauma
Life lasting injuries

Mirae
You've lost your mind
Those were drugs you texted me about before, weren't they?

Kunimi
Bring me back a kilo and I'll pay you Emiko
I won't tell 😉

Kindaichi
Illegal and immoral

Mirae
I'm telling Ennoshita

Emiko
NO!
I WAS JOKING
THERE ARE NO DRUGS
I SWEAR
I AM SO CLEAN

Kunimi
I believe you Emiko
Now bring me back a kilo ok?

Emiko
You are an ATHLETE you should not be doing drugs
Mirae I can send you my blood samples I swear I have not taken any drugs

Mirae
I can't trust you
Especially not after what Coach Ukai told us
About the strange man and the candy

Emiko
That was an accident
I've learnt my lesson

Kunimi
So before this took ten different left turns...
Kindaichi has been grumbling and mumbling about the T.V show to me
I can't be bothered
Do you mind calling him so you can fangirl/fanboy over it together?

Kindaichi
I do not grumble and mumble to you

Kunimi
Lies and you know it

Emiko
She has no time for your stupidity
The time she does have (aside from homework and club activities) she spends with her future boyfriend

Kunimi
No

Emiko
Yup!

Kunimi
Who is this?

Emiko
The one
The only
Karasuno's middle blocker

Kunimi
You're dating that shrimp??

Emiko
Bruh
Hinata is off limits to everyone!
I will find him the best wife possible!

Kindaichi
And does Hinata know about this plan of yours?

Emiko
...
He doesn't need to

Kunimi
Wait that leaves the glasses wearing kid

Emiko
Kei Tsukishima and Mirae Ando sitting in a tree

Mirae
If you finish that sentence, I will find a way to teleport and kill you

Emiko
You are no fun
Literally why am I even in this group chat

Kunimi
Leave

Mirae
Admin can't leave though

Emiko
Yeah but I can mute you losers

Kunimi
You wouldn't

Mirae
You'd be so scared that we're talking behind your back

Kunimi
Which we do
In case that wasn't clear

Emiko
I have decided to take up a new hobby
It's making voodoo dolls
Kunimi how would you like to die? Since I am so nice and considerate of your feelings (even though you don't have any) would you like to die by drowning or strangulation?
Choice is yours!

Kunimi
I can't be killed

Mirae
He has the power of my ancestors

Emiko
Your ancestors are weak!
We already went over this!
Wait
Where's the charred onion?
He hasn't been online for a while now and he's usually the last to leave our spam chats

Kunimi
This is your fault

Emiko
How?
Um hello?
Akira Kunimi you get back here!

Mirae
I think they both left

Emiko
So the one time I get to talk to my friends and they leave me
I am so disappointed

Mirae
They're not your friends

Emiko
Yes they are!
They are my bestest friends!
Mirae? Where'd you go??
Did you really just leave too???

Emiko named the group Anti-Tobio Kageyama Campaign + Mirae