She was, perhaps, the most magnificent creature that Lance had ever seen. Dark skin, somewhat mangled with a touch of turquoise, dressed in white silk that was flowing from her body in waves. Her hands translucent and harboring life itself. There were tiny fish, swimming through her fingers, jumping from one point of skin to another. Her face could have been molded by a Greek, polished to perfection. And she had eyes as deep as the universe, or perhaps just a mirror of the same. She was the ocean. The ocean was her. And she radiated a confidence that had been crafted in a life that had lasted millions of years, if not longer. This was a truth that Lance instantly recognised once he first met her. So no, Lance couldn't stop staring at her.

"Oh, hello," Lance smirked and slightly bowed to her, beaming brightly and flashing her a grin, because life was short, especially that of a soldier and Lance would rather not waste his time missing his chances. Even from a woman/ alien like her.

Allura smacked him on the head. "Lance!"

"Ow!," answered Lance and rubbed the point where she had hit him.

"Typical," Keith was rolling his eyes, but otherwise kept a polite distance to the goddess on her throne. And a goddess she was.

She was Karak'nirir, a goddess that had been worshipped by the Ilaniens for centuries. Her presence was known to the universe, and feared by all. She was powerful. Powerful enough to control the oceans on all the planets. She was considered the bearer of life itself, since no life could exist without water to nurture it.

Even Zarkon feared her might. It was the one reason why the people on this planet had not yet been attacked by the man. And it was the reason why Allura had just smacked Lance on the head.

"Lance! Goddamn it! She is a goddess! Not someone for you to flirt with!"

Lance just shrugged. "But she's so stunning, Allura. I know you agree!" Allura blushed furiously and send an apologising glance towards the goddess. "Besides, every woman deserves a compliment, once in a while. Goddess or not." Lance shrugged and send the giggling goddess some fingerguns.

"That's not the point! We are here to pay our respects!" Allura cleared her throat and bowed to the woman once more. The other Paladins, safe Lance who had to be forced into a bow, followed her example. "My apologies, miss. He means no harm."

The goddess looked down on them, her eyebrows drawn in confusion, but Lance decided he saw a hint of amusement there. "Many men find me enticing, princess Allura. Your blue kitten has not crossed a line. I take no offence to compliments like his."

Allura exhaled in relief. "Thank you, my lady."

Gracefully, the woman stood up. Water sloshed around her like a very vivid liquid dress. "However, I believe you misunderstand, seeing as I am not the one who invited you here, princess. I may live on this planet, but I do not rule it. You shall speak to the king of Ilianiar, if you seek an alliance."

This time, Allura braced herself, before straightening her back. "Your highness -"

"Karak'nirir is my name," the goddess corrected her, even though Allura knew her name. She was the one who had briefed them all on it. Her eyes narrowed once again, before they landed curiously on Lance, who was still watching her with admiration. "You shall address me as such."

"Karak'nirir. You must understand that the universe is currently at war. We need all the help we can get. Especially yours. Your power -"

"I do not seek war, princess. I am a neutral party in this war and you will respect that."

"I am respecting that. I simply thought -"

"You thought what all people who have approached me before thought. You want my power to help you win a war. To win people over or to kill them. I am too old to play these games. War has always existed. And there always will be war, whether you like it or not. All of you seek peace, and I admire that. But when you kill, you only live with the conscience that you have sinned, for your children to be free of that guilt. But I, I will always live with everything I have done. I am tired of it, princess. I do not wish to mingle with things that do not concern me. If you truly wish peace than you would all have to put down your weapons. I understand that your enemies will not follow such a request but it is the only way to peace. It is not, however, realistic. I cannot ask you to lower your guard and get yourself killed. Neither do I ask you to win this war. So do not ask the same of me."

Princess Allura paused. "I understand, Karak'nirir, but -"

"You don't," the goddess shook her head. "You cannot fathom how I feel. My children die. With and without my aid. How can I chose one over another? I am mother of all living things, princess. You would do good to remember that."

Allura swallowed, then bowed once more. "Of course," she said, but you could hear disappointment in her voice. "But I believe that a good mother should stop her children from fighting and settle the matter."

Karak'nirir shook her head. "Princess Allura. My children are astranged from me. They are old enough to settle their own matters and still treat me with respect. You may go and speak with the king of this planet. You will not be granted my help. But rest assured that neither will the Galra."

That seemed enough for the princess, for she sighed and signed the others to follow her back to the lions. She turned her back on the goddess and sighed. "She is right. If we cannot have her good will, maybe the Ilianien's will be more helpful."

"Wait." The voice of Karak'nirir made Allura and the paladin's stop for a moment. "Yes?", Allura asked with unconcealed hope in her eyes. "I wish to speak with the Blue one," the goddess said. Her smile betrayed none of her intentions, but it was frightening all the same.

Lance turned around, a glint in his eyes, which he smugly send Allura. "Wow, look at that, Allura. The goddess of creation wants to talk to good old Lancey Lance, I -"

"What do you want with him?," Keith interrupted his speech, making Lance slouch the moment Keith opened his mouth.

"He is the paladin of the guardian of water. Is it not obvious?," Karak'nirir's smile remained, but there was a glint in her eyes, similar to Lance's own. A smile that now faded on the blue Paladin's face, as the other paladin's seemed to appreciate the reason.

"Great, Lance. Congratulations. You have someone to talk about fish with," Pidge whispered smugly in his direction. Lance growled.

"Come now, blue one." The woman said and waved. An actual wave of water followed. It was still strange to be able to look through her torso.

Lance sighed, then saluted the others and jogged towards the goddess of water. "Follow me," she said and gestured behind her.

Lance took her appearance in once again, only to realise how much taller she was than him. He swallowed. Then he turned around and watched as the other paladin's left the place in various levels of eagerness. Keith being the least eager of all. He remained behind the others for a while and watched Lance leave.

With a sigh, Lance walked through the tunnel, the goddess letting him pass before herself followed.

--------------------------

"Well?," Lance asked and tried to look more confident than he actually felt. He was now alone with the goddess of creation. Of water. Of life itself. And she was leading him through a tunnel which walls were as transparent as herself. He could see fish and other sea creatures passing by him and it didn't take a genius to figure out that she had created those walls. They were made of water and controlled by her will alone. If he were to make a wrong move, she could drown him in an entire ocean. He swallowed slightly but shook of his nerves. "Where are we going?"

"Don't be impatient," she said and as if on cue, the tunnels opened up into a wide cave. Dim light illuminated the place in various shades of blue. Fish swam across the walls, like realistic paintings from neanderthals. And Lance wondered for a brief moment if this sight was what had motivated them. "How do you find my home, Paladin?"

Lance swirled around, to find that the goddess had randomly grown in size. It made her more intimidating, but no less - "beautiful." Lance smiled at her. "How did you get the fish into the walls?"

"I think you know that what you see is the inside of an ocean, Lance McClain. Don't pretend to be dumber than you are."

Lance twitched at the sound of that. "What? Me? Pretend to be dumb? I am plenty smart, I assure you. And I can see when a beautiful woman such as yourself could need a compliment."
He winked at her again, but the goddess' smile only softened.

"That is quite right. I haven't heard a genuine compliment in centuries." Her smile never wavered.

Lance paused, smile falling. "How is that possible?"

The goddess shook her head. "Humans like to confuse the idea of power with beauty. Of love with obsession. Of might with happiness." She paused and considered Lance for a second. "I can read your mind and your heart, Lance McClain. There is no malice in you. No hatred. You're not dumb, you simply choose to be naive and trusting."

Lance blinked, unsure if he should feel offended. He chose not to. "Thank you?"

"I also noticed that your flirting with me was a genuine compliment, yet you harbour no interest in me. You were thinking nothing beyond wanting to assist a person in need of empathy. How come you can read me so well, what do you think?"

Lance paused. "I genuinely assure you that I think you're hot," he said, trying to correct her.
But it only made her laugh.

"Oh you do. I know," her smile was wide and honest. "I also know that you know that I see myself more as your mother than a love interest."

Lance raised an eyebrow. "Maybe I have mommy issues."

She laughed again. "You do not." She looked like someone who hadn't enjoyed herself this much in quite a while. She flowed around him like an ocean wave. Oh, how Lance missed the ocean.
Varadero beach, the waves, the smell of sand and salt. His mother she was, that was true.

"There is much love within you. For the living and for your family. Even for your enemies. You are strange, Blue Paladin."

Lance cleared his throat. "I thought you wanted to talk with me about fish."

The woman stopped flooding her way around Lance. "I'm tired," she said. "I've been tired for quite some time. My oceans are intoxicated with my pain and my guilt. Age has made me ruthless and cold. Too scared to mingle with life. Too scared to make my own decisions. You are young. You are loving and kind. Despite your pain. You are stronger than I expected. Stronger than me."

Lance now openly stared at her. "Me?" He chuckled awkwardly. "I'm just ..."

"Just a paladin? Just the Paladin of the Blue Lion? No, Lance. The Blue Lion and I are connected. She has examined you and sent word to me. I know you, like she knows you. Like all the lions know you. You have taken your time to speak with all of them, have you not? Whereas everyone else only examined them or tried to improve their functions. You have found a connection. You have understood that they are sentient and alive. That they need company. Your company."

"We all know that they are sentient," Lance was starting to feel creeped out. "What do you want from me?"

The woman flooded herself into a new sitting position, as she stroked through the curls on her head. "I want to end."

Lance blinked. "Excuse me?"

She smiled at him gently. "I want my being to rest. But I cannot rest without taking all the oceans with me. When the Blue Lion was created, I asked her to find me someone who could take over for me. She has found paladin's, yes. But you, Lance McClain, you are one under a million paladins for the blue lion. You can replace me."

Lance blinked. "Wait." He held up both hands and stumbled backwards, hands up high. "Hold your seahorses. What do you mean, replace you? You want me to be a god? ME? Are you nuts?"

Something twinkled in her glorious eyes. "Don't you seek recognition? Power? To be worshipped?"

"But not like this!," Lance yelled. "I don't want people to bow to me because they fear me! I want them to respect me for the things I accomplished!"

The room paused for a second. "And this is why you're different, Lance McClain. You don't want power. You want to be deserving. You don't see me as a god, you see me as a person. That is why the Blue Lion chose you. Not just for her, but also for me. Because you understand."

Lance opened his mouth to respond, but closed it again.

"I need this, Lance McClain. If you don't want the power, think of it as liberating an old woman from her duties. And your princess can win the war she so desperately wants to end."

Lance considered, but found there wasn't much to consider in the first place. "I can't do that. For the same reasons that you cannot aid in this war. It wouldn't be fair, would it? To the life you created? You said it yourself, if you side with one of us, you would betray your own." Lance didn't know why he said that. But deep down he knew she was right. He understood the feeling. He himself had many doubts about this war. Not just about his place on the castle ship, but also about their actions. History had shown that humans simply weren't meant to rule one another. Even if they won this war, that didn't mean there would be peace. There would be ruin and hunger and pain, for a long time after. Sometimes he wondered if he was simply pessimistic or simply the only one who wasn't so goddamn short sighted on this mission.

"If no one takes my place, then eventually, all life will end." The goddess of water whispered.

"Is that a threat?," Lance asked, alarm running through his veins.

"A threat? No. It is fact. I am wary from life, Lance. Wary from all the suffering. The damage of my soul, is damage to my oceans, to my waters, to my children. All of them are already damaged from within. Intoxicated. Everyone, except, somehow, you. The wars I fought, Lance McClain, never ended. They simply created new ones. For every life I took, another being was intoxicated with the guilt and the hatred that followed. Fighting Zarkon is not just fighting my own child, Lance. It is fighting myself. There is no end to war with oneself. Unless there is an end to me. Do you understand?"

Lance slowly nodded. "I do." Somehow, it didn't feel like a lie.

Karak'nirir smiled again. "I will give you my life, then, Lance McClain. In hopes that you will cleanse the universe.

Lance blinked. "How do I do that?" She laughed, then fondly shook her head. "Trust in your heart. Never waver from it. My heart will remain with you, in your heart, giving you as much of my knowledge as I can. Trust in your instincts. Do not give in to ill intend. Be kind. Be yourself."

Lance barely had a moment to think whether or not he was ready to accept her proposal, but it seemed he had already made up his mind and she could read him like a book. One of her hands reached out to him, found his right ear and then it was like all the waters in the world tried to pass through the small hole in his head, right into his brain. Lance's eyes flashed with images of the depth of the ocean, wisdom of millions of years of existence, and reached a sudden connection with life itself. With quintessence in it's rawest form. His mouth opened to say something or to breathe, he couldn't say. But his lungs filled with water and he felt deaf to the world. He was drowning, and he felt more alive than ever before.

Before he could fight it, Lance's conscience failed him and he fell to his knees. The gentle voice of Karak'nirir whispering him to sleep. "Thank you, Lance."

------------------------------------

When Lance woke up again, he felt ten times heavier than before. Tumbling, he got himself up on shaking legs and tried to breathe in air. Rattling lungs let it through, only sparsely, but it still felt like he had swallowed a whole galleon of water. He shook himself, before trying to find the exit to the cave he had just been in. The walls were silent now. No fish was swimming inside them. In fact, it oddly felt like they were all 'inside him'. Shaking with that realisation, Lance took of the gloves of his suit. But there were no fish in his fingers, no translucency. Had he dreamed the entire conversation? Did the goddess even exist?

Lance laughed. Yeah right. Like some ancient goddess would chose him as her successor. He must have become more narcissistic than he thought over their time as saviours of the universe.
Perhaps the whole goddess thing was just one of his weird dreams. Sighing, Lance reached for his left arm, where he a communicator was build into the suit. "Allura? Do you hear me? Where are you?"

First there was nothing but static but then Keith's voice cut in. "Where WE are? Conversation with the Ilianiens have ended an our ago! Pidge has been scanning the entire planet for you! Where the heck are you?"

Lance blinked. "I'm... eh... In a cave," he said lamely.

"What kind of cave?"

"I have no clue. I just woke up. I was unconscious for... I don't really know."

Now Keith sounded strangely concerned. "Where is Karak'nirir? Did she hurt you? Is she still with you? Tell her that -"

"She's not.", Lance said. Then he reconsidered his answer. "She's ... gone. I don't really know what happened. But I think she somehow went 'inside me'."

Keith made a sound over the com that couldn't be confused with anything but shock. Allura chimed in: "Jesus Christ, Lance. She's the 'mother of creation'. OUR mom, so to speak. Urgh."

Lance flushed a deep red. "That's not what I meant. It's just that she turned into liquid and then -"

A collective groan followed from the rest of the crew over the coms. "Could you spare us the details, please. GOD, I didn't know you were into Milfs." Pidge's voice rang through to him.

Lance's flush had grown even worse now. Perhaps he really should stop explaining to them what happened. It's not like it made any sense either way. Or like Lance could fathom what had happened himself. But it seemed, he at least hadn't imagined that Karak'nirir had existed. What had she said? That he should listen to his heart? That she would guide him from there? His heart felt blessedly empty.

Somehow, Lance managed to return to the ship unharmed and without seeing anyone else, until he found his lion. Blue purred as Lance approached her, seeming strangely satisfied. "Did you wait for me, babe?" Lance called out to her and the lion purred in his direction. She eagerly swallowed him up and then they flew back to the castle.

When Lance left her again, as soon as they had landed in blue's hangar, he sent her a smile. He startled, as instead of images, a voice answered. "You are deserving, my Paladin. I am proud of you." Slowly, Lance turned his head towards his lion. No, he must have imagined that. The lions projected images into his mind. They didn't speak. He shook himself out of it. Must be the stress. He should get himself looked at at the medic bay.

"LANCE!" Lance could hear Hunk's voice bellowing from outside the hangar. The Blue Paladin could only smile and laugh, as his best friend suddenly appeared and swung him up into a wild embrace.

Allura, Pidge, Shiro and Coran stood aside, smiling at the reunion. Keith, however, was scowling as usual.

Lance ignored him, Keith was always like this. Besides, he felt a little distracted by something else. It was a feeling that made his head swim a little. He could somehow feel a connection to something that was somehow stronger than his bond to blue. He felt bonded to the other paladins too, but not like this. It was like he could see their quintessence. Allura, especially, was shining brightly.

Allura finally stepped forward, regarding Lance with more seriousness than before. Lance still winked at her. "Hey, princess. Did you miss me?"

She immediately rolled her eyes. "Lance, you spoke with Karak'nirir. Was there something you could find out about saving the universe? I do hope you didn't use the time to JUST flirt with her."

Lance shrugged. "Not really. She told me that I was worthy and said I would be the key to end this war." It was the truth but perhaps he shouldn't have said it while brushing his hair back. He knew it came off as arrogant. But what could he do? Fake confidence was how Lance got over his anxiety.

Allura groaned, a little exasperated. "Never mind." She turned around. "Training starts in a varga. Don't be late."

Lance was pretty sure that he should explain himself, correct the misunderstanding, but he felt his nerves betraying him. There was a reason why he always boasted and bragged. Who, in their right mind, would believe that a goddess had chosen him? He hardly believed it himself. "Won't be, princess." He watched her leave. On her way out, his eyes trailed to Keith who seemed even moodier than usual. Before Lance could talk to HIM, he had also turned and left the room.

Pidge and Hunk had somehow gotten themselves stuck in the question of what kind of power the goddess Karak'nirir had and Shiro was so tired from babysitting that he had completely zoned out.

Lance eventually walked backwards out of the room with a cheerful 'hasta la later'. Then, he headed straight for the medic bay. Hands in his pockets, he near speedwalked over there. As usual, the place was completely empty. Lance was the one who was responsible for maintenance of this place, meaning, cleaning up and such. Coran made regular check ups once a movement and he had done them last night. Sometimes, he would find Pidge hanging around to play with the modifications of the pods, but she was currently working on other projects.
So, when Lance pulled out the scanner from the side of the nearest pod, he was confident that he would be alone in here for at least a varga. "Run scan." The scanner was also voice activated. All the programming and beeping lights and stuff made little sense to him, he preferred the simpler methods.

"Scan complete," the device said and begun writing the report on Lance's condition on its blue holoscreen.

Lance scanned the report with growing concern. He remained awfully calm but this proved one thing for sure: He hadn't imagined the entire encounter.
"Multiple anomalies detected. High levels of quintessence identified. Species: unclear. Data, insufficient."

The rest sounded similarly ominous. From what he could gather, there were still traces of human biology inside him, but they had been altered by a species that the Altean device did not recognize. What's more, it didn't recognise him as one of the paladins. "That can't be good," Lance mumbled. However, he didn't feel all that different. He could feel that the air around him was humid but that's where it ended. The goddess had told him she was connected to all living beings, maybe this was what was happening? After all, she had suggested he take her place. Lance scratched his head, then put down the scanner, forcing down a panic. "So, I'm no longer human. Cool cool cool cool cool." He tapped his arm nervously. Which meant, if he had really taken over Karak'nirir's place, then he was now a god. Lance huffed out a laugh. Now that couldn't be good! He was already arrogant enough as he was, always bragging and yet failing whatever he touched. He wasn't the kind you'd give POWER.
Humans always abused power if it was handed to them. Even as a paladin, Lance often wondered about his place. Who was he, to let people fight in this war? Even if it freed them, he was making himself a figure of liberty and expected special treatment. And he couldn't even deny that he enjoyed it. It was part of the reason why he did it in the first place. But at least, he wasn't responsible. This felt different.

Lance shook his head. He wasn't a thinker, he shouldn't overthink this. God or not, he didn't seem to have changed beyond the scanner freaking out on him. He was still himself. He didn't have any superpowers or anything. He could deal with this. Lance took a deep breath to calm himself.
"I'm not a god." He told himself and cringed at how that sounded in the first place. "I'm just a boy from Cuba."

-------------------------------------------------------

In fact, little changed after that. They freed one or two planets, fought another robeast and enjoyed Hunk's awesome cooking. Lance did feel a slight increase of a need of hydration, but not in a way that made him feel like he would die without it. It just ... tasted differently. Better, satisfying. Otherwise, everything remained pretty much the same.

It was on a slow day - whatever qualified as day in space, anyways, the lights were on - when Lance decided to use the pool after training. He missed swimming, more than ever before. He had always missed Varadero beach with its warm sand and blue waves, but his homesickness had increased since the incident. He was drawn to the water, and it felt like he had a mental compass that would automatically make him walk in the direction of the pool, whenever he decided to go on a stroll.

"Urgh... You here too?" Keith was grumpy today. He looked tired. Then again, he was emo and always like this.

"Just going for a swim," Lance said cheerfully. "Keithy, my guy, be honest, you're stoked to hang out with me. We rarely spend any time together these days."

"We just trained together."

"As a team," Lance corrected him with a wide grin. "Now we're having fun, non essential, bonding time. It'll be great."

"I'm not here to have fun. I'm here to actually swim."

"Semantics." Lance hummed and the elevator dinged them to a stop.

It had taken them forever to figure out how the pool worked. The water was for some reason, on the ceiling. And for reasons Pidge refused to explain to them, gravity was simply different in this room. It had something to do with cleaning, Lance thought, as the ceiling was basically a filtering device. They had to revert gravity, so it would fill out the actual pool that could thus be cleaned by hand. A task which Lance couldn't run from, thanks to their great Coranic.

Lance slung his towel over his shoulder while Keith went to set the pool settings right. Once the pool was completely filled, Lance and Keith put their towels aside. Keith went down the ladder into the cold wet, always trying to accustom to the temperature first. He wasn't good with the cold, having grown up in the desert and all that. Meanwhile, Lance all but jumped into the pool. He always did this, even though they weren't supposed to. He couldn't help it. This time less than ever. The water was calling to him.

That's, when it happened.

Emerged in water, Lance suddenly found himself floating. It was strange, but he felt suddenly, like he was sleeping, and yet, like he was fully awake. He felt... a connection. Words, feelings, thoughts, they were all pushed into his mind. There was worry and longing and warmth. Just that Lance's brain couldn't comprehend it fully, too overwhelmed with the new information. He dwelled simply on the feeling of hovering in space. He hadn't noticed that his mouth had opened, that water was filling his lungs. It belonged there, it was a part of him. Lance was the pool. It flushed in and out of him, through his pores and he felt like he could breathe for the very first time in his entire life.

Suddenly, there was screaming concern and Lance snapped his eyes open, seeing nothing but walls around him.
Before Lance could figure out what was happening, two strong arms wrapped around something that should be his body but felt so much smaller than that. Whoever had been grabbing him, pulled him out of the water. Lance wanted to fight it. He was water, the water was him, he felt like he would die on land. Instead, Keith dragged him onto the edge of the pool and pushed him out and onto his back. When Lance could finally focus on him, he saw Keith in a state of full blown panic. Only now did his words register in his mind.

"Lance! LANCE! Come on, wake up!"

Lance opened his mouth to speak, but out came a rush of water. He didn't choke or cough. A second later, the rest of it merged with the rest of his body and it was gone from his lungs. Lance touched down his bare chest, grabbed his arms and found, to his own surprise, that he had a firm body. "Keith?'

Keith let out a relieved sob. "Holy shit, Lance. You were down there for ten dobashes! I thought you DIED!"

Lance blinked up at him, then laughed nervously. "Huh?" Then he smirked at him. "What, was the great Keith Kogane worried about dear old me?"

"I thought you DROWNED!" Keith yelled, pulling at his own hair. "And you're not even out of breath! The hell?"

Lance paused. Right. Still... his gaze wandered back to the pool and he held a hand inside it. He had been able to feel the entire pool. He could reach out and he could merge with it. This time, however, he didn't let it overwhelm him as it had before. He forced his hand to remain a hand. Then, he let it evaporate. It merged with the water, disappeared completely inside it, before forming back into his familiar hand. "Holy shit!"

Lance hadn't noticed that Keith was watching but suddenly, Keith jumped to his feet. "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Lance realised his mistake too late and jumped to his feet. "Alright, alright, calm down. I can explain."

"You're not Lance!," Keith yelled, reaching between their towels to pull out his knife. Because of COURSE he had it with him. "You're not even human. What the hell are you and what have you done with Lance?"

Lance paled and waved his hands up in surrender. "No! NO! Keith, listen!" It truly was his luck that neither of them had brought their bayards.

"Get away from me!" Keith stepped backwards and almost slipped on the wet tiles.

Lance took calming breaths. "No, Keith, it's me. I know that was weird, but I can explain. Think about it, would I go to the pool with you if something like that would reveal if I were an alien in disguise?"

Keith watched him, eyes twitching. "How would I know what you would do? This is a trick."

Lance blinked. "Look, I just... okay, it's hard to explain. But remember Karak'nirir?"

Keith blinked. "You mean the goddess you slept with?"

"I... what? NO!" Lance frowned. "What I was trying to TELL you guys, when you completely misunderstood my point - although that is understandable, I'm a pretty hot guy -"

Keith let down his knife in confusion. As if Lance had said something that made him less doubtful.

"Anyway, the point is, when I said she went inside me, I meant... literally. She became like the universal ocean or whatever and filled my brain with it."

Keith frowned. "Why would she do that?"

Lance flapped his arms up. "No clue. I don't even know what that really means. She just said I would replace her or something and that that way, Allura would get the weapon she needs in this war. I don't really know what that means, but I think I just connected with the pool water? Sorta? It was totally on accident, I had no idea this would happen!" He pointed at the pool to underline his point.

Keith put down the knife. "You're serious."

Lance nodded quickly. "Yeah. I already ran a check up, but the ship can't identify what I am, so I figured what she said is right."

"You're telling me, you're now a god?" Keith looked confused. "Seriously? Even if she wanted to escape existence, why you?"

That stung a little. But only just. It was a totally reasonable question. Lance felt a bit of shame, just having thought he could be considered worthy of being a god. Then again, Lance, WHO was worthy of being a god? "Dunno, maybe because of my charms and good looks?" Lance smirked at him. He knew it was a nervous smile, but to others it usually looked rather confident.

Keith sighed, finally relaxing. Then, he turned serious. "You need to tell Allura."

Lance panicked. "Wait, no!"

The red paladin crossed his arms, knife held loosely in his hand, and raised a brow. "And why not?"

Lance wracked his brain for an answer. "I have no idea what this even means! Or what I can do! I don't want anyone to panic!"

Keith shook his head. "No, Lance. We SHOULD panic about this! You dissolve in WATER!"

"I still have a conscience though. I was just overwhelmed just now! I felt like I was connected to everything inside the pool!" Lance pointed at the pool, while water ran down his skin and dripped from his hair. It felt strangely strengthening, like he had never felt stronger or more controlled in his life. "It's the first time that happened, and my mind was full of emotions and thoughts that weren't mine, and -"

"Wait wait wait, hold on." Keith suddenly paled. "Are you telling me, you were reading my MIND?"

Lance opened his mouth to say 'no, how did you get to THAT conclusion?', but something stopped him. It hadn't been HIS feelings and emotions he had experienced inside the pool. He had latched on to a mind, one that had been confined within the pool. And that mind could only have been Keith's. "Huh."

"Not HUH, Lance!" Finally, Keith seemed convinced that Lance was telling the truth. He flushed deeply. "You can't just look around inside my head without warning!"

Lance shook his head quickly, slightly panicking himself. "No, no. I didn't - I mean, I probably saw everything, but it was everything all at once, I couldn't make sense of anything. As I said, I wasn't in control just now."

Keith seemed somewhat shaken, as he grabbed himself a towel to hide his wet hair underneath it. "That better be the truth, McClain."

Lance watched him for a moment. It was a bit strange seeing Keith so slouched over and embarrassed. Lance figured, he'd feel the same if any of the paladins had unfiltered entrance to his mind.

Sure, they had the whole mindmeld business happening for training under Allura's supervision. But during them, they would all focus on Voltron. Being present in each other's mind didn't mean knowing and seeing everything, it meant you COULD, theoretically, look into it if you really paid attention. But since they were meant to pay attention to building Voltron, that too fell away. Pidge had, back in the early days, had problems with it because she had been too focused on her secret identity. She had always been rather closed off then and Hunk roaming around in her head had made everything kind of worse.
The entire exercise was about trust, more than knowing each other inside and out. Lance had always taken that exercise seriously, even if he usually was the fun guy. He knew when he would cross a line and usually avoided that. Even Lance was able to put his curiosity aside. It was Hunk who had more of a problem with it.
And besides, those moments were planned and voluntary. This one felt different, more invasive.

That is why Lance immediately backtracked at Keith's mortified expression. "I swear. I couldn't make sense of anything!"
Keith relaxed somewhat, although still uncertain. He looked at the pool, then Lance. And Lance, naturally, understood. "And I swear, I won't try something like that again! Jeez, Keith. Your mind is not that interesting." That was another lie. Lance would love to know how Keith's mind worked. Just... not like that.

Keith relaxed somewhat. Hesitantly, he crouched down beside the edge of the pool, hesitantly touching the water. "Alright, but you really need to tell Allura!"

"No." Lance's answer was quicker than even he had expected. He was not surprised to find Keith raising a brow at the reaction. It was strange, but something told Lance that he shouldn't bother the princess with it. No... it was more than not wanting to bother her. He didn't want her to know. He was scared. He looked at his own hand, knowing it was not as solid as it once was. If he could really read people's minds, then he would have to use that for this war. If he could learn to control water, he'd be a weapon. The thing was, Lance had just gotten a glimpse of Keith's feelings. He dreaded what it would feel like if he killed someone with water. He would feel it and the thought alone filled him with fright. Almost pleadingly, he returned his gaze back to Keith. "Please... can't we keep this a secret between us? Just for a while?"

Keith's scowl smoothed into surprise. "Between us? Lance, the others will find out eventually."

"I know!" Lance pulled at his own hair. "I know, but just... I have no idea what any of this means. I don't want to be a lab rat for Allura and Pidge!" That was not really his main concern but it was part of it.

"Lance, if you can hone these skills, you could use it for the greater good! If what you say is true and you are a god... You could turn the tides in this war! I don't understand. Wouldn't you normally brag about this?" The last part was said in almost a whisper.

Lance dragged his knees up and put his arms around them. "I'm not a god. Don't call me that."

Keith reached out a hand but obviously thought better of it, because he flinched back. Wet hair fell into his eyes, hooded by the towel. "Okay. Okay, fine." He seemed to be thinking hard. It surprised Lance a little, since Keith would normally fight him on this. "Okay, I get it. But you're going to keep me updated! No reading my mind, no pranks with your new powers, and if I think a situation grows too serious, I will tell Allura!"

Lance exhaled in relief and fell backwards on the wet tiles. "Thank you, buddy."

He could feel Keith's eyes on him. "What I don't get is, why you?"

"You already asked me that."

"I know." Keith sat down at the edge of the pool and let his legs dangle inside the wet liquid. "Didn't she tell you something? Anything? From what I gathered, she seemed to be interested in you for some reason."

"I don't know. She said, I would understand, or something." He grinned at Keith. "Said I was a rare kind, even amongst the blue paladins."

"Understand what?"

"Her, I think." Lance pursed his lips in thought. "Whatever that means."

Keith didn't respond to that for a while. "Now that's kind of ironic, isn't it? You don't seem to get her at all."

"Her words, not mine." Lance paused. "She said I was seeing her like a person, not a god. I think she was pretty lonely."

Keith slowly turned his head, once again preferring to assess Lance over an answer. "That makes more sense. You have that weird ability to connect with strangers almost on sight. I always thought that was pretty unique."

Lance snorted. "You just say that cause you're socially awkward. Besides, that ability doesn't work on everyone. Allura is far better at it than me. That's why she leads the diplomatic missions, not me."

When Lance turned to Keith, the man was frowning again. "Lance... You connected with an entire planet when you freed those mermaids. Basically on your own and while you were on drugs."

Lance waggled his finger 'no' at him. "NO. The mermaids undrugged me and then asked for my help. They did most of the work, too. Also, YOU're the best example of how I don't leave an impression on people. You didn't even remember me at the Garrison. And then there was Nyma, who literally bound me to a tree because of how LITTLE I looked through her."

Keith's eyes widened.

Lance winced. He didn't know what had made him emotional just now. Perhaps it was the body of water close by, maybe it was the leftover resonance of Keith's feelings from earlier. Either way, he felt pretty honest right now and he didn't want to annoy Keith. If he did that, then his secret would be out in no time. Then again, he trusted Keith and the words spilled like he could hardly contain them. Perhaps his new powers were messing with his brain. "I know you all think I'm like... the best pilot on our team and all -" He paused. "But I know I'm the weakest link on this team."

"Lance?"

"I mean... Shiro is like... our leader. Best of us in single combat and obviously our leader. Then we have you, our ACTUAL best pilot on the team. Pidge is our tech genius and she's great at learning new languages too and Hunk is our moral support and like the strongest person in any room. I'm obviously great, I just don't have anything I'm the BEST at. Well... except swimming, but most of our fights hold place in space, so that hardly counts."

It was quiet for a second. "We all know you're not the best pilot on the team."

Lance snorted. "I know."

"Then, why did you say that?"

Lance sighed. "You know, in this situation you should normally tell me 'no, Lance! You're great at everything you do! You're so handsome and kind, and irreplaceable for this team.'" He gave Keith a look and found the man slouching guiltily. "Forget it, Keith. I know how you meant it." And he did. Keith was not good at consoling people. Besides, everything Lance had said was fundamentally true. Except the one thing Keith had pointed out, and Lance had only said that in an attempt to sound more confident. It was very Keith to be able to make his confidence crumble with only one sentence.

"Well... you WERE chosen by a goddess." Keith tried.

"Don't force yourself, pretty boy. I know, I know. I was chosen by a giant blue robotic lion, which obviously doesn't mean NOTHING. And now by a goddess who was tired of existing. I'm obviously awesome." And yet, he wondered why.

Keith exhaled in relief and Lance felt like he was consoling him, instead of the other way around. Lance got up. "Alright, I feel like a fish on dry land. Fancy for a swim?"

Keith stared at him in open surprise. He seemed hesitant.

"I swear, I won't read your mind." Lance put a hand on his heart. "This time I'm prepared!"

Keith hesitated once more, but then nodded, as if to show that he trusted Lance. And Lance beamed back at him, this time sitting down next to him at the edge of the pool. When he didn't dissolve this time, and managed to keep his mind away from Keith's, he sighed. The water still felt phenomenal.
A second later, water splashed beside him and Keith went to swim his rounds. Lance would have followed him but he failed to see the point anymore. Swimming was just treading water and why would he do that? He was the water. The thought almost made him laugh at the implication that Keith was currently swimming inside him.
Which then reminded him of all the fish the goddess had let swimming inside her. He wondered if she had been reading their thoughts as well. And he did wonder if he could make waves like she had. As soon as he thought it, the doubt left him. Of course he could do that. Water was his limbs, his blood. Of course he could move it. So, he raised a hand over the surface and watched in awe how the water moved to his will. It could shape forms, as tiny or big as he dared and he watched in poor wonder at the gift he'd been given.

Keith made a u-turn and yelped as he came up to breathe. "Lance, what the fuck?"

"Just testing my new powers."

Keith hovered in the water for a moment, watching how Lance build a tiny Voltron from the waves, then shook his head and continued his round. "Fine. But I swear, if you drown me ..."

It was nice, having someone know, Lance thought. "I promised no pranks, didn't I?"

He got a huff in return.

Yeah... Lance found that hard to believe too.

---------------------------------------------------------

It almost felt too soon, when Keith pushed himself out of the pool. Lance was still humming and loving being extended to a wider space like that.

"You should get out of there, too," said Keith. "God or not, I'm pretty sure you need sleep. Do you?" The last part came out hesitant.

Lance looked up. "Hmm?" He checked the clock. "It's not even bedtime yet. Don't tell me you go to sleep at this hour?"

"I get up early to train."

"Well, I stay up late," Lance responded but still pushed himself out of the pool.

"Which is why you're usually late," Keith argued and pulled his towel from the bench and turned the gravity of the pool off.

"Aw, don't say that!" Lance pouted. "I have stuff to do too, alright?"

"You?" Keith stopped, looking honestly flabbergasted right about now. "Don't you just do one of your face masks and hang out with Hunk for Video night?"

Lance inhaled a deep breath. "Excuse you? It takes effort to look this good, not that you would know."

"Hey, I'm not ugly!"

"No shit. I'm saying, you don't know what it means to put effort into your looks." Lance rolled his eyes. "I am well aware you were the girl's heartthrob back at the Garrison, thank you for reminding me."

"I was?"

"Don't fuck with me. You were the best pilot of our class, a grade A fighter and the mysterious emo, of course you were." Lance pushed a pointer finger into Keith's chest. "That's not my point! I do a lot of maintenance during the day and I deserve my scheduled video nights with Hunk! But we don't have them every night!"

Keith blinked rapidly, before he shook whatever question was stuck in his mind off. "Then, what DO you do? Train?"

Lance hunched over, letting his arms fall forward. "Train what? My perfect aim? I do enough of that between lunch and bonding exercises!"

"How would I know? I don't follow you around all day! I have stuff to do myself!"

Lance sighed. "Yes, exactly. Which makes my life so much harder." He walked past him. "Make sure you go to bed, alright?" Lance twirled on his way out to face him again as he walked backwards out the room. "I mean it, straight to bed! No more night training!"

"How do you know I -"

"Go to bed, Keith!"

-----------------------------------------------------

Lance did have a long night... again.

Keith may have gone to bed as instructed, Lance had checked, but Coran was once again overworking himself on the castle maintenance. No matter how much Lance tried to help him out, the castle was made for an entire civilisation and not even a dozen Coran's would be able to keep up. Thus, Coran usually forgot that he needed to go to bed.

"Every single person in this castle is goddamn insomniac." He muttered this to himself as he carried Pidge from the Hangar to her room. Lance knew shit about coding but thankfully, Pidge's room wasn't coded too bad. Meaning, he needed her iris to get her into her messy room. And Pidge hadn't slept in seventy hours, which made it child's play to pull up the lid of one of her eyes to get inside.

After that, he headed to the kitchen to chat with Hunk. The man was, once again, stress cooking. Lance had expected as much, since the man had had trouble focusing at training lately. Which meant, he was walking straight into a homesick episode. Lance knew the ones and knew that Hunk preferred some company during those times.

Problem of the night was Shiro. Because when Shiro had nightmares, he would run through the corridors. Lance kind of wished the man would be at the training deck, but those were often occupied by Keith and Shiro liked to avoid Keith when he was stressed. He never wanted other people to carry his burdens and Lance got that.
It was long past midnight, when Lance cornered Shiro in the hallway.

"Hello, Shiro. What's up?"

"Lance. Shouldn't you be asleep?" Shiro looked stressed but at least he had paused for him. It had taken them a long time to get to this point. In the beginning, Lance had always had to chase him through the castle for way longer and Shiro would run past him. By now the man knew that Lance didn't give up on a target. He wasn't their sharpshooter for nothing. He got aim.
"Yeah, just hanging a bit with Hunk. He made some cookies, you want some?"

"Not now, Lance. Don't you see I'm running?"

"Yeah. At night, Shiro. That's bound to fuck up your protein intake. Running will tire you out, not calm you. Come on, take a break."

"Lance... Can we not do this tonight." Shiro looked beaten and that was a look Lance only ever got at night. During the day, Shiro was their leader. At night, he was a terrified child. And he only listened to Lance because he knew Lance was right and had the methods to put down a stressed, terrified and uncoordinated man who was half dead on his feet.

"A break will do you some good, Shiro." Lance went and put an arm on his sweaty shoulder. "Besides, I've been dying to tell you everything I know about Supernatural."

Shiro groaned. "Oh please, god, no. I'm not THAT stressed!" He looked helpless and made Lance snort internally.

"Just a couple minutes, my guy. I've only just gotten past Season 3 last time."

"You're a monster."

"You're welcome." And he knew that deep down, Shiro was glad. Otherwise he wouldn't let Lance actually pull him towards the kitchen, huddle him in a soft blanket to make sure the man wouldn't catch a cold, and make him the space equivalent of hot chocolate and cookies. Then again, Shiro had learned his lesson after that one time Lance shot him in the leg with a tranquilliser.

Huddled up like that, Shiro seemed to be calming down a bit. Lance prattled on about Supernatural, giving Shiro a perfect analysis of how the season began and ended, and knew perfectly well that Shiro wasn't listening at all. What calmed the man most was living beings who talked and lived and didn't mind the horrors of the war, or the arena. Lance had deduced that in the first weeks he had noticed Shiro's self destructive tendencies, and analysed what kind of prattle set the man off and what calmed him down.
And as always, the talk would stay between them.

The first time this had happened and actually worked, as Shiro had cried during some of his worse nightmares, Shiro had cornered him the next morning, asking him not to tell anyone.

Lance had responded in a normal Lance fashion: "What? That you secretly like old 90s shows? Oh, I'm so going to brag about it!" And then, he never did.

After Shiro was dealt with and left to take a shower, a tell tale sign that he was seriously calm enough to get a couple hours of sleep now, Lance made sure to check up on the training deck. When he found it silent and dark, he smiled to himself. So at least Keith was fine tonight. At least he didn't have to deactivate the entire deck again. Pidge would kill him if he messed with the controls again.

He was about to head to sleep, when he heard a voice coming from the control room. Silently, Lance snug up on the holodeck where Allura staring out right into space.

Lance sighed, then walked up to her before he unceremoniously sat down beside her. "Hello gorgeous," he said.

"Not now, Lance."

"I was talking about the view but I see how you would get that confused."

Silence followed, as the woman buried her face in her knees. "I want to be alone."

Lance knew from experience that she didn't. She always said that, but what she wanted was to speak to her father, her childhood friends, her advisors, literally anyone. She didn't want to be left in dead space without company. This was a woman with the ability to heal planets, who had lost her own. There was no way anyone could console that and Lance didn't. He just didn't want to leave her alone with her thoughts.
"Nah, I don't think you do." He went quiet after that.

Allura too, was used to this spiel.

It was strange how Lance only felt useful at night. When everybody was alone with themselves and their demons, that's when he was able to connect with them best. In the morning, it would all be forgotten. He had secrets with every single one of them. And they all buried them into their sleep time. And in the morning, when Lance would be late to training, Allura would not complain as loudly as she did in the beginning of this journey. Shiro would try to help him improve on his fighting skills, Hunk would try to drop as many jokes as he could to make up for the night stress and Pidge would huff and leave him be, allowing one or two puns more to leave his mouth than usual. And Coran would here and there give him a day off.

This was Lance's position on the team, he often thought. He was not the glue that kept them together, he was the blanket that covered them at night, so they could rest. Lance was the weak one, the break, the holiday and the vacation. Whenever he wondered about his worth on the team, he hoped that this was it. It wasn't as glorious as he had always wished it to be. He wasn't the hero, he was the sandman. It's not what he wanted, and it wasn't special... but no one else was doing it. Perhaps, Lance thought, because everyone else was struggling with a lot more anxiety and panic than he was.

Shiro had been held prisoner for a year, Hunk missed both his moms whom he had an intensely close relationship to while he adjusted the least well to confined spaces, Pidge was overworking herself in search of her family, Allura and Coran had lost their home planet ten thousand years ago and Keith ... Well... there was this whole "my mom is Galra" thing going on. Lance on the other hand... he was living his dream. Homesickness was something he signed up for the moment he lined up for the Garrison.

At some point in the night, Allura began to talk about her home, her family and the things she left behind. It was a routine that had settled in weeks prior. She was talking in Altean, and although Lance understood every word, he knew it wasn't his place to speak up. She just didn't want to forget it. Lance understood that. He felt the same way about Spanish.