Keith's PoV.:

Keith had now spent several hours in Lance's room. He was exhausted. He'd used the training deck for so long that even he wasn't in the mood to go back and punch another gladiator in the face. Instead, he felt powerless and small.

Lance was dead.

It was a thought that couldn't - wouldn't - register in his mind.
Just mere hours ago, they had been fine. Then they hadn't been and fucking Lotor had sown doubts in his mind and now Lance was gone. He'd just - vanished. What did that even mean? 'You're human too.' Why had he said that? Whom had he been trying to console? His own reflection? Had Lance been so upset with himself that he'd lost control over his own body? Had he doubted his own humanity again? Had he been infected with toxins? Lotor's toxins perhaps? Then how had they gotten in him? Keith felt sick with himself that even now, after everything, he still doubted Lance. He was still so unbelievably jealous and he hated himself for it.

He didn't even have the energy to cry.
Instead, he pulled out the records of Lance's death and watched them again and again and again. He let it run and then rewind, turned the records upside down in hopes he would notice something off. Something that would tell him that this was wrong, that Lance was still alive and they were all just too arrogant to see that Lance was more than just a guy who managed the powers of the goddess for a couple months. Keith tried to zoom into the window to see Lance's reflection. All he saw was purple eyes staring back at Lance.

Keith heaved a shuddering breath as he saw it. They didn't remain purple but it surely was no coincidence that they flickered that awful color.

Keith threw his phone against the wall and buried his face in Lance's pillow. Gritting his teeth violently he breathed in the smell of the castle's washing powder. Lance hadn't slept in here for a while but all his things remained. His gaming console and his phone, neatly and cleanly put away. In his bathroom, Keith knew Lance's skin care products to be waiting for the other teen.

"I warned you!" Keith cursed. "I warned you of the toxins and the power and everything! And now you're dead!"

And then, finally, tears flooded his cheeks because who was it who'd upset Lance so much that he'd doubted his own existence? Who was truly responsible for Lance's death? Who if not Keith himself. It had only been a matter of time before Lance would get lost in an ocean or ex-

Keith froze. Hold up.

Hesitantly, he stood up and grabbed his phone again, only to play the video again. His hands were shaking from his emotions but something didn't make sense. Keith let the video run again, once, then another time, his eyes widening slowly. He blinked, then stared at the screen some more.

At once, Keith started at the door, sprinted into the corridor and down the hall until he reached the control room again. He knew the others would still be here, they would be grieving he was sure. Keith burst through the door, immediately searching for Lotor.

"He's not dead!" He exclaimed, adrenaline rushing through his veins.

The other paladins seemed to have remained exactly where they had been when they'd called him less than an hour ago. Multiple pairs of eyes turned his way, most of them likely to pity him.

"Keith-" Shiro began but Keith cut him off.

"Not a word! Lotor, you said that there were other successors who died. Do you have that on record?"

Lotor stared at him, brows raised in shock to being approached. "Erm- a few. Three of them, I believe. But I don't think this is the time to take a look-"

"Lance did not explode!" Keith exclaimed. "He did not melt into a puddle or with the ship or an ocean or a planet. He didn't get lost anywhere, he was about to burst, but he didn't! He vanished!"

It seemed to take Lotor a second to understand what Keith was saying, but then he braced himself, eyes widening slightly. "That-" He blinked, confused. "You're right." Then, he pulled out his own communication device and hectically started to put some information in.

Finally, as Keith's breathing had almost normalized, he pulled up the screen to his ship records. It was, of course, a much smaller screen than the one he'd used to show them the records of the planet Haggar had destroyed. But it was big enough to show Keith what he'd wanted to see.

On screen, there was first a small looking alien, a bluish color graced her skin who was walking dizzily around at a beach. Her hands and arms seemed to lose form with nearly every step, and her head twitched around as if she were anxious or paranoid.

Lotor raised his chin at Keith. "This one got lost in an ocean, I believe." He moved the video forward to when the girl collapsed into the sea. Once there, she was instantly swept away, not to be seen again. "Ten minutes later, Karak'nirir reemerged from the ocean. The next one should be closer to this situation." Lotor tapped away at the screen and pulled out the records of a young man. This situation was very similar to Lance's disappearance, only that when his body melted into that giant blob of a thing, it didn't just stop. The man swelled and swelled until eventually, his eyes burned through and he quite literally exploded, water splattering everywhere without abandon. On screen, the leftovers of the body reattached themselves into the same glitchy figure they knew to be Karak'nirir. She was gone before Lotor ended the video.
"You're right."

Pidge popped in. "With all due respect, you two, but that proves nothing. So, Lance died a different way than the others, that doesn't mean anything."

"But it does!" Keith said, stepping towards her. "I shared his mind for a second when we were on Kainen! I know how he saved that planet! He wasn't using a power of any kind! He forgave that planet! He helped it cope. On that record, he looked into a reflection in the mirror, he said 'you're human too'. His eyes were purple then, what if something invaded him! What if that something took him?! Those toxins wouldn't kill him! Lance can deal with them!"

At that, he received nothing but irritated expressions.

"That's what he said?" Allura muttered to herself.

For some very odd reason, only Lotor seemed to follow his thought process. "I think your red paladin has a point there. If the blue paladin did die, then why did Karak'nirir not return?"

The paladins exchanged irritated glances. "Perhaps you should leave, prince Lotor." Said Allura, hesitantly looking between him and Keith. "I know you're trying to help but we still don't know as to how far we're able to trust you."

Lotor did not flinch, he looked as if he'd expected no less. Instead, he nodded slowly and was about to turn away when Keith stopped him.

"Before Lance disappeared, he told me that we should trust Lotor." He hated saying it and perhaps he only did it because Lotor agreed with him and Keith desperately wanted someone to agree with him but he would not ignore one of the last things Lance had told him.

Out of all of them, Lotor's eyes widened the most. "He did?"

Keith stepped towards Shiro, nearly begging him to listen. "Lotor found Karak'nirir before! Maybe he can find Lance too!"

"Keith-" Shiro began, and he looked so apologetic that Keith had to blink. "We already scanned the ship. The energy levels are comepletely gone. It did not lead anywhere, not outside of the ship and not towards any planet close by. Karak'nirir's energy levels could be tracked. Even if Lance had learned to hide them, even he could not do that in such close proximity. I know you cared for him - but I don't think Lance is still alive."

Keith's heart thudded in his chest.

Shiro sighed. "What do you think, Lotor."

Lotor seemed surprised that he was being asked at all but ultimately straightened his back once more. "This is for sure an unusual situation. I- I can't say what happened. It's never happened before. At least not that I saw. But I also don't know everything about Karak'nirir's powers. I think - it's probably more likely that your blue paladin is dead - HOWEVER!" He added before Keith could interrupt him. "This is unsual. You shouldn't write your blue paladin off as dead before you know what happened. Keith is right to question it."

The other paladins bit their lips and averted their gazes.

Shiro threw up his arms and turned around. "Well then. If Lance told us to trust Lotor, then we shall do that. Let's find out what really happened to Lance. Pidge?"

"On it." Pidge said and immediately turned back towards the castle's controls. She was gritting her teeth and Keith knew, that even if they all believed Lance to be dead, they wanted to know what had happened to him. Pidge should understand him best. Her father and brother had just been returned to her.

A moment later, Shiro put his hand on Keith's shoulder and gently motioned him out of the room. Keith followed but only because they were finally doing something.

Outside, in the hallway, Shiro grabbed both of his shoulders to give him a brotherly talk. "Are you alright?"

Keith nearly glared at him. "My boyfriend vanished, Shiro, and you guys think he's dead. Heck, I thought he was dead! No, I'm not alright!"

Shiro winced. "Keith, I can imagine how you must be feeling-"

Keith bit his tongue instead of interrupting him right there and then.

"But you should allow yourself some time to grieve. I know you weren't together for very long -" He made an awkward expression there and Keith knew that he too doubted Lance's sincerity on the matter, "and this is a lot to process. But you have to allow yourself to grieve. I know you now believe that he's alive but you have to accept the possibility, the high probability really, that he's dead. I know this is hard. I felt the same way when I lost Matt at those gladiator rings -"

Keith shoved Shiro off of him. "If you want to give up on Lance, then just say so."

"That is not what I said, Keith-"

"It's your fault, you know?!" Keith spat at him. "That I doubted him! That I still doubt him. Don't mock me, none of you think that Lance was serious about his feelings for me. No matter how many times he insisted, I still doubt him and the last thing I said to him was that he should leave me alone. The last thing he said was that I don't trust him. If he died there, Shiro, he died alone and I blame all of you for that!" With that, Keith turned his brother the cold shoulder. For a moment he clenched his eyes shut, already regretting what he'd said, but Shiro did not correct him. Perhaps he couldn't. Perhaps he knew what he'd done. Perhaps there was no apology for it. "The worst part is that I can forgive you, but I can't forgive myself." With those words, Keith went back to join the others.

This time, however, he walked right up towards Lotor and faced him head on.

"I still don't like you." Keith said out loud, receiving a rather monotone expression. "But I'm going to trust you." He reached out his hand and hoped against hope that this wasn't a mistake. He hadn't trusted Lance before he'd disappeared but he was willing to do it now.

Surprised, Lotor's eyes wandered towards his hand. Hesitantly, he reached out his own and shook it in a rather strong grip. "Thank you, Keith." There was little emotion in his words but Keith was almost certain to see something akin to relief reflected in his eyes.

---------------------------

Lance's PoV.:

"So, I don't want to bore you guys -" Lance said. His parents and Joe were sitting on the couch, tears not yet dry, as they waited for his grand explanation. "But we were on an alien hunt!" Spreading his arms, he tried to open up the story, make it look like a ridiculous adventure of the very special Lance McClain kind.

His mother looked confused but quickly forced herself to look more open minded. That was new. They'd never listened to his elaborate tales before.

Lance decided to ignore the feeling that was caused by that knowledge. "You know how Shiro disappeared, right? And Pidge, my classmate, she was actually convinced that she could hear aliens through some kind of self made device that she'd built inside the Garrison. And she thought that if we followed that sound, we would find him. So, Pidge, Hunk and I, we went out into the desert to find out if it was true. Like, gathering evidence and everything and Pidge told us to leave our phones at home because it would interfer with the radio waves or something. The Garrison had this really secret base that we weren't allowed to go to and we broke in -"

His mother's stern expression turned to disapproval. "You broke into a top secret school facility?"

"Yeah yeah, I know." Lance laughed. "Pretty cool, right?"

"Lance, that is not-" His mother swallowed through dwelling disappoval. "What happened then?"

"Well -" Lance said, pacing a bit as he tried to paint the story into the sky. "It was really boring, really. Pidge's conspiracy didn't really make sense BUT -" he turned around to point at her. "She was not the only one who'd picked up on the radio waves and that's how we met Keith."

Now, his father frowned. "Keith? As in Keith Kogane? The boy you liked to complain about in your letters?"

Lance waved it off. "Yeah yeah. He got kicked out of the Garrison ages ago, that's probably why they didn't put out any posters for him. He has anger issues and then some. But he's kinda nice and he actually totally rocks a mullet and he has a hovercraft bike and he took us to this awesome cave with ancient paintings on it. Anyways -"

"So you don't hate him anymore?" His mother asked, irritated.

"Mom, I'm getting to the good part!" Lance pouted, quickly diverting the subject. "So, turns out that Keith and Pidge have the same hobby, right? And he's like, all alone in his dad's hut out there in the desert. Hunk felt sorry for him, so he decided to mother him a little. And their charts aligned and everything and we decided to spent some time with him, but alas, we didn't have our phones, so we learned we were missing only when they put up the posters. Then we realized that we couldn't just go back, that would paint like - such a bad light on the Garrison and we didn't want that. So we took Keith and his cave painting stuff and went on a road trip."

"That's - what?" His mother asked, eyes wide and Lance could see the anger flaring in her eyes. She got up in her rage, nearly stomping in the process. "THAT'S what happened? THAT'S what you ran away for? And you didn't think to call, not even once?" She jumped to her feet and stepped closer to Lance who now hid his hands in his pockets. "MONTHS, Lance! We've been worried you were dead for MONTHS! And you just went on a road trip with FRIENDS?! You abandoned the education you begged us to pay for, for what? A conspiracy theory you knew was fake?!"

Lance's expression didn't slip, his face still sporting a smile. "Yes."

He knew that both his father and Joes had gone quiet.

"And now, you come back here - to what? To do WHAT exactly?!" She buried her hands in her hair. "WHY, Lance?! WHY would you do this to your family?!"

Lance didn't move a muscle and met her stare head on. "Can't you think of a single reason?"

At that moment, his mother froze. Her expression shifted, and then, finally, she did what Lance had expected she would do. She slapped him right across his face. Lance didn't move, not even when Joe stood up suddenly. Lance's father held him back. His mother now glared. "Don't you dare put this on us! YOU'RE the one who ran away without as much as a word! We've been working with the police for weeks to get even a hint of you, but we got nothing! We thought you had DIED!"

Lance tasted blood on his tongue and finally, his smile, his well crafted mask, was gone. He knew that she was on an emotional rollarcoaster right now, so he didn't even blame her. The last time she'd slapped him, he'd broken into his teacher's office to steal the solutions to the next math test in his eighth grade. "So you do know a reason. Why don't you enlighten me, mom?! What did you think I did? What did you blame yourself for, I wonder." Lance wiped off his mouth.

Her nose flared.

Lance stepped closer. "You felt guilty, didn't you?"

Her eyes widened in surprise.

"You were thinking that I killed myself. Or that I was abducted or that I got hurt somewhere, or maybe that I was mad at you for not returning my calls." Lance took a deep breath and for once, for once he allowed himself to be angry. "I've been messaging you for months and you returned not a single letter. When you do receive my calls, you barely listen. I can talk to you for hours but you don't bother to respond. You only call to ask how Vanessa is doing. How is Vanessa doing, mom? Do you even know?"

"LANCE!" His mother said aghast.

"No." Lance shook his head, stepping back from her. "I missed you, mom. I missed all of you. You're my family, of course I did! But I didn't start missing you on that road trip. I've been missing you since I got to the Garrison and that didn't even bother you. You want to know why I'm home? Because I have a question. I knew that you missed me, that my disappearance tore this family apart and I did not want that for you. I knew you would miss me. What I don't know is, did you miss me because you noticed I was gone or because of the posters?"

His mother blanched entirely. "You don't mean that, Lance - You don't really think that."

Lance's voice was vibrating from the force he put in it. "I didn't come home, mom. I will leave again. So I would appreciate some honest answers."

Silence weighed on the room, heavier than Lance had intended it to. He met his mother's eyes and did not break away.

His father was drinking again? Yeah, of course he was. Of course he would get drunk in the middle of the week, lock himself in his basement and not talk to anyone when there was something he could not deal with. If he was talked to, he would verbally lash out, and then he would cry and then he would feel guilty and ashamed the next morning because he didn't get to talk about his problems. Vanessa was gone? She buried herself in her work? Of course she did, because her self worth depended on her perfomance. Because she'd only been paid attention when she'd brought home a grade A in chemistry. Marco wasn't faring well either? Marco was working? Marco's life was turned upside down because of Lance? Of COURSE it was! All his life their parents had paid Marco all the attention, so Marco had never learned to share. The PC was his, the games were his, the good presents were his. And Lance? Lance was just the charming youngest child with the funny stories that no one needed to take seriously because he was nothing more than a liar. Because when Marco had shoved him down the stairs, Lance had just been jealous or petty; because when Lance showed he was good at languages, he'd been provoking his sister. Because she was the one with the talents and Lance was not allowed to be good at anything! So he became good at lying instead, so he became a charmer.
The toxins flared inside Lance, he could feel it. That's why he didn't say it out loud, that's why he kept staring his mother down.

"Of course we noticed." His mother breathed. "Of course I noticed that you didn't leave any calls anymore!" A tear ran down her cheek. "Of course I noticed there were no more letters! How can you think - You're my SON."

Lance's glare softened just a tiny bit. He could read her well enough, he could sense it, even, but he didn't know whether or not to believe her. "Then why did you not care when I was still here?"

She shook her head, and the anger was back in full force. "That's not true! You don't get to tell me -"

"Mom!" Lance said and he remained angry and serious because it was the only language he'd never spoken with her. "You made me feel that way. You all made me feel that way." He looked around, hoping that Joe knew he was excluded from the family drama. "I'm not here to blame you-"

"Then what the hell ARE you doing, Lance?!" His mother snapped.

"I'm here to forgive you." Lance said quietly, the toxins inside him screaming at him. They don't deserve forgiveness.

"Forgive us? For what? For raising you?" His mother asked incredulously.

Lance shook his head. "For being in over your head with three children and their half a dozen cousins at once. For playing favorites, for ignoring me my entire life."

"We did not ignore you!" His mother said. "We gave you everything. We made sure you could go to your school, that you could go to the Garrison! We listened to all your complaints, I TOOK your calls and kept you on them! We've met every single one of your girlfriends, we got you a job, we paid for your drivers license -"

"I'm not talking about that." Lance said quietly.

"No, but I AM!" His mother yelled. "We gave you everything a child could hope for! We hugged you when you needed it, we visited you during your swimming tournaments, we gave you everything!"

"Everything except the feeling that I'm good enough or that I'm wanted." Lance said and he kept his voice as leveled as he could. He knew they wouldn't get it, he knew it.

His mother hissed in a breath. "Go to your room."

"No."

There was a disbelieving silence. Then, as if trying to control herself, his mother continued. "I'm truly glad you're save and sound, Lance, but you've clearly had a rough night and you should go to bed. Tomorrow, you'll think differently about this. We can talk then, and you will apologize."

A wave of pure, unaltered rage washed over Lance and he had to blink to not scream at her. "So you don't believe me."

"You're throwing with baseless accusations -"

"So, you're once again not taking me seriously."

"LANCE-" His mother said, her eyes drawn into an almost scowl, when suddenly, she stopped, eyes widening in fear. "What's wrong with your eyes?"

Lance, for once, didn't need a mirror to know that his eyes were glowing bright purple. But he was ashamed that this had slipped past. He took another deep breath so his eyes turned back to blue. Only to see his mother ashen in sudden fear. Lance shook his head. "I'll be outside." He said quietly and slammed the door closed on his way there.

...

It occurred to Lance very late that he didn't even have to think about speaking Spanish to his mother anymore. In fact, he could no longer tell the difference. Perhaps because he'd become the universe. As the universe, no language could be hidden from him any longer. That was, in a way, nothing new, Lance thought. He'd always been able to read the people around him, now he just didn't strain himself with understanding them. But it was sad, because it was the one thing he'd been proud to say he was good at. What did his skills matter when he was God now?

His naked feet were now buried in the grass in the small garden in front of the house. Perhaps, Lance thought, it had been a mistake to come here. The toxins inside him felt stronger, as if this fight had fed them. He covered his mouth and closed his purple flickering eyes, lest someone notice. Then he sat down and breathed in the familiar smell of grass and violets and sunflowers. He had to stay calm because if he didn't, then the universe would be paying for it.

He could feel so many planets begging for his help, begging him to go there and save them but Lance wasn't at that point yet. He wasn't ready.

He was still bearing this one little, reoccurring problem.

He had to forgive people who weren't even sorry.

Perhaps they didn't need to be sorry. Perhaps Lance was wrong all along. They loved him and he knew that and there were so many people who had it so much worse – But somehow their love had never reached him. At some point, Lance had given up trying to appeal to them, had decided to love himself instead. But that anger was still there, deep inside him, persistent to stay.

So, Lance ran away. He'd run and he'd reached the stars and now he was the universe. He had no place to run towards anymore. His problems were no longer irrelevant, and neither were his feelings, no matter how useless or pointless they were. Lance's heart was a liar. He wanted to be loved, so why did he not feel like he was?

The wind played with his hair as he stood there, in the garden. And then, suddenly, a car drove onto the gravel path that led towards the entrance.

Lance looked up.

The engine was cut off and no other than Marco got out of the car. He seemed irritated and tired and strangely nervous. He played with a strand of dark brown hair and shouldered his bag for work. He'd should have been done with studying for over a year now and was finally working at a large business corporation, last Lance had heard. Last he'd heard, Marco was also about to get married and leave the family to move in with her. He did not unpack any luggage, so Lance was pretty sure that he wasn't here for a visit. He still lived here.

Lance stood up.

Before Marco had reached the front door, he froze in his steps as he saw Lance. Instead of happy relief, however, pure horror washed over Marco's face. "No." He said and stepped backwards. "Not today!" He said, as if that was all he could think. He shook his head and suddenly, he marched towards Lance and grabbed him by the collar. Before Lance could do anything about it, he was pushed against the house wall. "NOT TODAY, DAMN IT!"

Lance raised his brows and sent him a familiar smile. "Welcome home, brother. How are you doing?"

"Cut that crap, Lance! I KNEW you were alive! I KNEW IT!" Marco hissed. "Do you have ANY idea what you put mom and dad through?! Do you have ANY idea what you put ME through?!"

Lance blinked. "What? Did you have a fight with your wife or something?"

"SHUT the fuck up! She left me because you selfish prick disappeared!"

"So, she left you because you were a dick who didn't care about his brother's whereabouts, congratulations, Marco. That is not my fault."

"You-" Marco said but other than their mother, he did not lash out. And he did not scream. Instead, a tear of pure relief fell from his eyes. The next moment, Lance was buried in a very conflicting embrace. Irritated, Lance patted his brother's shoulders. This was new. They didn't hug. Vanessa and Lance hugged sometimes but not him and Marco. Awkwardly, Lance patted him back. "I missed you." Marco whispered into Lance's neck. "You're my brother, and you're an asshole, but of course I missed you." The embrace tightened and Lance didn't know how to feel. The toxic little gremlins inside him eased, loosened and dispersed inside him. "Where have you been?!" Marco asked, eyes searching Lance for any kind of wound. "Mom and Dad wouldn't -" He bit his lip, clearly conflicted whether to say it. Then he got over himself. "They wouldn't talk about anything but you. And today, I finally had something good to tell them, but now you're -" He seemed to struggle between pure anger and utter relief. "You're back!"

Lance couldn't help it, he smiled. "Didn't think you would miss me. Or that you'd admit it."

"You're an arse!" But Marco looked miserable when he said it. "Tell me, where were you?!"

Lance shrugged, suddenly feeling the need to be honest. "You wouldn't believe me."

Marco almost laughed. "Since when did that stop you from every saying something?"

Lance looked at him, eyes saddening. "More often than you realize."

Blinking, Marco slowly let go of him. It seemed to occur to him then that Lance wasn't the same person he'd been before. Lance was rarely serious but lately it seemed to have turned into his entire character. And that was a change that Marco noticed. "Like what?"

"Like -" Lance began, not sure where to start. "Like right now when I'm not telling you where I've been." Lance finished rather lamely. "I ran away." Lance said, lied again, feeling the toxins roaring once more. "Like I did when I was thirteen and told mom I got lost so she wouldn't be mad when the police brought me home."

Marco blinked at him in surprise, eyes widening slightly. "Wait- you didn't get lost?"

"Who gets lost for three whole days, Marco." Lance deadpanned. "Who does?"

"I didn't-." Marco seemed lost himself, if not entirely in over his head. Once again, Lance was buried in an unexpected hug. "You know mom and dad worried about you then too."

"Yeah." Lance said quietly. "Of course they did."

"Have you talked to mom yet? Does she know you're here? How long have you been home?"

"We had a fight." Lance confessed.

Marco stared at him. "You- YOU had a fight with mom? You never fight with mom."

"I know." Lance said, unsure how to explain it. "But today I have to."

Incomprehension washed over Marco, and he shook his head. "I don't understand. You came home to fight with mom? Why?"

Lance sighed. "Because-" He began. "There are things I never got to say and things that I should be able to say. And I know it's petty, but I am mad, Marco." Once again, Lance was met with surprise and confusion. "I've been angry for a long time. But I don't ever get to say it. I don't get to say that I felt overlooked, that I felt like no one appreciates me, I don't get to be taken seriously. I'm a liar, Marco. I was raised to be a liar and because of that even my truth becomes a lie. And now I don't even know how to take myself seriously. So, I'm here to talk about it, and I will be gone again by tomorrow."

Marco blinked. "I don't understand - you want to leave again?"

When Lance met his eyes this time, he allowed them to flicker purple, he allowed all that rage and all the hatred to come to the surface.

Marco stepped back in irritation. "What the hell is -"

Lance shook his head. "I told you, you wouldn't believe me."

Marco was breathing hard, and he was searching for something in Lance's eyes that he couldn't seem to find. "So, you've come here to be taken seriously but you refuse to tell us the truth?"

Blinking, Lance nodded. "Where I was doesn't matter. I can understand why that would seem like a lie and I don't need you to believe that. I need you to appreciate the Lance that I was before I left. I need you to look at the failure I was and love him anyway."

"Failure?" Marco said and suddenly, gone was his empathy. "You think you were a failure ? Lance, you were a genius at languages! You got a scholarship for the Garrison; you went after your dream . Do you think I wasn't jealous of you?! You had a passion, a purpose! I had none of that!

"Exactly." Lance said and met his eyes and once again, his anger flared inside him. "You had none of that, except better grades, the better school, the better future."

"Are you kidding- " Marco covered his mouth. "Do you seriously think that I wanted a boring office job?! You think -"

"This isn't about you, Marco! " Lance spat and he knew that the toxins were nearly frothing from his mouth. "This isn't about how you feel, for once in your goddamn life, allow me to feel! LET ME BE ANGRY! " The tears that dropped from Lance's eyes were purple and where they hit the ground, the grass died around him.

Marco stepped back from him. "Lance -" Panic grew inside him, as he took in the dying ground around them.

Lance, however, did not care. "Do you honestly think I don't know?" Lance asked, voice breaking at the seams. "Don't you know how I saw you struggle? Trying to be the perfect son, being the perfect son but never actually able to follow his own dreams? Don't you think I don't see you ? That doesn't erase how I felt, Marco! That just makes it worse! Sure, I was talented, but remember how I wasted it all? All that potential and I went to a place that sent people into space . And Vanessa? Sure, she went there too, but she was good at it. She had a future there. I was just there for a silly dream and threw away everything I was good at for something I would never have been good enough for. Iversion reminded me of that every single day. I'm just the kid who keeps flirting around and who neglects all his prospects. THAT'S who I am, because I don't ever take anything seriously. You're jealous , yeah. Because you thought I was free. Only that I wasn't free. You're not free when no one sees you. You're lost. I am lost, Marco!"

Marco stared at him, no longer following his rant. "What's happening to you?"

Lance blinked and looked down on himself. His skin was turning purple. "Ah." He muttered, disappointed. Then he met his terrified brother's eyes again. "Not even know you'll listen?"

"Lance, you-" Marco reached out his hand, then pulled it back. "What's happening? You're -"

Lance sighed and watched as his fingers began to frizzle off him. "You need to listen to me."

"I don't- Lance, you're falling apart- this -" He seemed unsure whether to try and touch him or run away.

"Don't touch that." Lance stepped backwards, not allowing his brother to get any closer. "Don't worry. I'll put myself back together and I will try again. Which is why you must promise me, once I find my way home again, listen . Let me feel, Marco. Let me be angry. For once, let me be mad at you. At all of you."

The horror on Marco's face promised only that he hadn't understood. Piece by piece, Lance's new body fell apart. It flaked away in front of his very eyes and the rest melted off, back into the ground. When Lance closed his eyes, he knew he wouldn't be able to open them anytime soon.

The universe didn't have eyes.