People change with time.

****

The victors were returning home.

Sailing from the struggling kingdom of Revat, the Ishgarians landed in the docks of Aryavarta, and from there reached the Southern Forest. Dilrobar wasn't going stay in the wizards' guild, but go back to the palace, assisting Nadira with the welcoming preperations.

Doubts gnawed at the fragile heart of Rajan Rudra. Poor Dilrobar fought every moment to not face him, and he searched for an opportunity to spit poison. When Aryamna, without having the need to consult Rudra, sent Dilrobar to the palace, the Rajan was extremely offended.

"You think I am not a good brother to Nadira?" Rudra hissed. The perilous journey over the sea had cast baggy darkness under his ebony eyes. One could see the exhaustion in his gaze, as if it took him eons to even raise up his heavy head. "It was me who married you two. At least understand that I do care."

Aryamna rubbed his palms, rolling the tongue around his mouth. The sweet-scented breeze lacked the power to calm the fuming white bull in front of him. Laying flat on the soft grass, he stared up at the sunny sky, praying some sunshine be let in the Rajan's darkened core. "Rudra, you need to let Nadira be vulnerable to her memories. She needs to know who Dilrobar is, how she fits in the puzzle. And now that Dilrobar has given up her veil, she will showcase herself to the world."

"You know what, I should have left her in the Valley of Saints." Rudra clutched a mound of soil in his grip, uprooting the green blades out of the forest-bed. It dirtied his hands, much like his perception of Dilrobar. "She had assured me she would leave after I avenge her. But your daughter is too much of a saint herself!"

"It is in Indumala's nature to be kind." Aryamna glowed with a proud smile. "She has always been so. Even to you, Rudra. She was kind to you when no one else, not even me, was willing to heal you."

Rudra jerked upright, a massive burst of flame burning every speck of pity to ash. But it subdued, and he felt his feelings shrinking to a feeble cry. He sucked in a deep breath, eyes glistening in a teary lustre. "Yes, she was there when everyone had closed themselves to me. Even Mataraj seemed distant, but I can't blame her. The lack of knowledge that she has, despite being a mage, is ruining her last stage of life. I wonder if she will die unaware of how her family is slowly rebuilding."

"Indu loves you a lot. I can see it in her dreamy eyes. They blush more than her cheeks."

"They used to brighten up even at the sight of Hamal." Rudra clenched his fists, a chain of convulsions passing through his chest. "And we all know the cost Petra had to pay for her purity."

A gaping warren swallowed whole the shimmering joys. The Rajan and Senapati of Ishgar, fresh out of unseen battle wounds, took solace in silence. Although Aryamna was able to push aside the pain, the beastly heart of Rudra fell a loser to the only weakness known. Love had moulded him from a hermit to a husband, and again from a householder to a werewolf. "I do not want her to be hurt." Tears streamed down his chiselled face, unswerving lines of sorrow cutting past the godly skin. "I do not want her to trust people who have betrayed her in the past."

"But–" He doesn't know. "I... I feel your agony, Rudra. But people change. Dilrobar has. I know she is harmless. And as of her not going to Valley of Saints, I am sure she will one day. On her own accord. Perhaps Indumala needs her at present."

"Why would Indu need her and not me?"

"Indu never said she shunned you. Maybe she wants Dilrobar for some reason. She is wise, you know that. I believe she has a motive in keeping Dilrobar. Don't forget that a woman is stronger than she shows. My daughter burnt in her last life; that was her lesson, and she won't repeat the same mistake."

"I can't forgive Dilrobar. No, I can't. But maybe for the sake of Indu, I will try to be civil."

"Good. Don't engage with Dilrobar if it troubles you. Personally, I think it's better for you and Dilrobar to maintain a distance. Some things have turned so sour that we can't help."

"Please ask your daughter to not cling close to Dilrobar." He heaved a sigh. "And what if, upon seeing Dilrobar, Nadira gets agitated? It would be natural. And you aren't there beside her."

"You miss a point– Nadira was there in the palace all this time when we were away for war. She bumped into Dilrobar everyday. Did you receive any news of her being ill?"

"No..." Rudra shook his head, lowering his voice to a whisper. "But perhaps she chose not to share."

"Nadira wrote to me. I sensed from her letters that she does have some bitterness towards Dilrobar, but she is pushing herself to accept reality as it is. Well, she is more diplomatic than you."

"I can't pretend."

"It's not about pretending, Rudra." Aryamna pinched his brows. "Nadira is taking a step forward, and by doing so, she will make things easy for us all. Perhaps she won't be able to befriend Dilrobar, but at least they won't be enemies."

Rudra rolled his eyes. "Such mature people."

Aryamna glared. "And how mature were you by taking that widowed queen of Revat?"

A gasp left Rudra's parted lips. "You suspect I will make her my queen?"

"No," Aryamna groaned. "I do not question your loyalty towards Indu. I am worried if that Danube is even someone we can rely on."

"Her words triggered you, but I don't think she intended to give that impression. Though, I understand a father's heart. Since you have this feeling, I will respect it and be vigilant."

"Yes. Please send her away to some other place as soon as possible. I really don't want her near Indumala."

A pair of voices came to their ears. The men paused, watching Master Makba emerge out of the viridescence. Accompanying him was none other than Danube.

"Must have a long life," Aryamna muttered, his face twisting at the sight of the young widow. Yet, he had to maintain a decent behaviour. "Yes, Master." A frown flickered on his face when he noticed the entwined fingers of Makba and Danube.

"Can you take Danube to the quarters near Chitra? She will help her settle in. Meanwhile," Makba brushed his long beard, "I wish to have a private talk with the Rajan."

Danube refused to look straight into Aryamna's eyes. Her sweaty hands rubbed coarsely against the dusty robe she had draped. The salty breeze of a sea-affair had made her pallid hue grow tanned, and her clothes were equally dim.

"Alright." Aryamna didn't want to disobey his senior. "Danube, follow me."

The Senapati left with the former queen. Makba gestured Rudra to come sit on the bank of the bubbling river. He dipped his legs in the waters, the little waves reaching up to his knees. Rudra copied what he did. His ankles shivered when first in touch with the icy caress, but soon, his taut muscles relaxed, and the numbness vanished. Its surface was so crystal clear that he could see the swarming orange fish nibble on his toes.

"Pretty creatures," Rudra mused.

"Indu used to do fishing here. It was a lovely hobby."

"Really? I never knew that!" Rudra grinned. "I know she likes to have seafood."

"Hmm, I think she is now snacking with her friends. They met after such a long time."

"Ah, I am sorry for that. It's just that duty binds Indu, and maybe I am a little selfish when it comes to having the most of her time."

Makba chuckled. "Don't blame yourself, Rajan."

"Please call me Rudra. It embarrasses me when you address me as Rajan."

"Why, aren't you one?"

"I am," he shrugged, "but titles feel so hollow when I sit beside you."

Makba scooted closer to him. "Sitting beside me, what calls your heart?"

Sparkling rays wove through the holes of canopy, scintillating upon Rudra's orbs. "I don't know..." He swung his legs, splashing water all around. A nervous laugh crawled to his lips. "I wish I could be of use to magic without this whole werewolf curse."

"And?"

"And..." He the vast horizon of the forest. "I just like this place. The whole ambience. There's no vanity in any corner. I love how down-to-earth everybody is, and how friendly they are. They treat me like a...a human. Something I haven't felt for years."

"Rudra," Makba placed a hand on his back, "you have a lot ahead of you."

The camphor-white Alpha gaped, his eyes widening at the solemn declaration of the highest mage of Ishgar.

"You are impatient. I won't say you were so since birth, but I guess life morphed you to become one of the shadows. But now that all the agony ceases to have a reason for existence, I believe you will be able to wait. And at the end you might find a greater purpose awaiting you."

Rudra studied his reflection on the waters. The little fishes sliced through the quivering picture. Layers upon layers, wounds upon wounds. Peeling off them all, at the centre, reeked the foul smell of a bloody nightmare. The Rajan's shoulders slumped under an unknown burden. "Something greater than a monarch's fate?"

"Did you ever wish to become one, in the first place?"

"No. The desire, or rather the stubbornness, came after her death."

"But she is alive, Rudra. You have her forever."

Rudra exhaled, his larynx bobbing. "I didn't hope to. I...I never expected so. Perhaps I prayed, I wished desperately every night, sometimes even in broad daylight. But they seemed believable as only dreams, a fantasy that was intangible. I could never think happiness knocking on my door."

Makba patted him. After a brief pause, Rudra continued, "I was broken beyond repair, Master Makba. I didn't know what joy was. I was sinning every moment, balancing on the pole between virtue and vice. I killed. I derived pleasure through inflicting pain on others. Maybe I killed a few innocent on the way..." His breath hitched. "I lost myself in this path of revenge. But that was the price I had to pay for living. It's sad that even my life wasn't my choice. Even now I am cursed to be eternal."

"I know how hard a heart screams at the demise of a beloved. I have heard it multiple times, sometimes inside my own skeleton, and at other times it echoes around. It is, in the least words, worse than death. To that, death feels like a medicine, a possible help that can again unite departed lovers."

Rudra smiled, a lone tear trickling down his cheeks. "I have got her back, yes. But I still feel scared of losing her. Or worse, what if I become a hideous monster? I am not a saint now. I am not the good man I was once."

"You were termed a beast when you weren't one literally. So now that you are, things will be harsh."

"Tell me, Master Makba," he grasped his hands, "will I be happy? Will I have a family with Indumala?"

"Will my answer give you peace? If so, Rudra, you will always have a family with her. You already have one, and it's going to grow bigger."

"Is it true? So I–"

"There it is, Rudra." Makba clicked his tongue. "Yours fears are so deep-rooted that you deny yourself pleasure. You run from happy endings. If the words of this seer can't give you the confidence, what will?"

"But they always prick me!" Rudra sobbed. "How will I ever be able to complete Indumala when I myself am so crushed? I...I don't want to be an unnecessary weight."

"The fears will haunt you, Rudra. They will chase you, until the day you learn to ignore them. When you embrace Indu, you will feel if you don't deserve her, but even when that doubt pokes, you must still hug her. Pull her close to your chest. It is not a miraculous spark or a sudden beam of light that will usher you out of this madness. It is consistent effort and habit that will cure you."

"So, despite all the darkness, I must walk?"

"Yes. One day, this would be all you will know. Looking back, the fears will be gone. They will be just a phase of your life, not a part." Makba wiped his tears. "What you are going through is very normal, Rudra. Do not rush to banish the fears. Learn to be happy slowly, make it a practice."

Rudra smiled. "Thank you–"

"Master!"

It was Indumala's call. She came running and panting, her arms falling around Rudra's neck. He lifted her up in his sturdy grip.

"I know," Indu said.

"Easy, Indu. What do you know?"

"I know, Rudra." She ducked her head in the crevice of his neck. "I know why during the war, the sunset happened earlier. Hamal had hinted someone from outside the battlefield did it. And I know who did it."

Rudra stood up. "Tell me the name and I shall have them beheaded!"

"No!" Indu cried. "This is what I don't want. They...they didn't do it out of will. They were forced to."

"How come you are so sure?"

Indumala gulped. "Let us cut this short– Radha and Raya were given threats of assault. And Hamal knew Radha was a mage who had power over the luminaries."

Realisation dawned on Rudra. He was speechless.

Indu cupped his face. "Radha is suffering because of it. I don't want to lose her–"

"We are losing her, Indu."

Interrupting the three came Raksa. His hands were covered in blood. Goosebumps rose on Indu's arms. "What...what do you mean?" she asked.

"Radha..." Raksa fell to his knees, blood seeping into the earth, "she amputated her limb."

****

word count: 2386 words

Some points to remember: Indumala, Danube, Makba, Aryamna– they all know that Hamal the First=Khonsu, and that he is alive. Some senior mages, the ones Aryamna is friends with, know that too, but they are currently not major to the plot.

Next, keep in mind the 'entwined fingers' portion of this chapter. The Danube and Makba scene.

Also, yes. Radha did this because she feels guilty :(