chapter four.

a week had passed by after the godly figure appeared in her life for a moment. hyejin's shoulders were now loaded with more burden. her finals were in two months and she couldn't concentrate, she failed to impress namjoon, she failed to figure out who that godly human was, she wasn't even close to finding the creepy bastard and not to forget, hobi had been chasing her to get the camera lately.

"i'm a failure." hyejin slumped her shoulders, dropping all her weight on the notebook.

poor notebook.

"out of nowhere?" namjoon looked at her slumped state, taken aback from her words.

she nodded, having no intention on impressing him with her fake smiles anymore.

"i'm a disappointment," she said after moments of silence. "i'm a disgrace, a mess, a loser, a—a pervert? nevermind. i'm irresponsible, lazy, stupid—"

before she could say anymore, a hand clasped her lips, stopping her from saying any further.

"no, you are not." she heard namjoon's voice whisper while he tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear.

"b—but i am a pervert." she muttered, staring at namjoon with her big eyes.

he averted his eyes from her, hesitating for a moment before looking at her again with a tight smile. "aside that."

"oh."

he cleared his throat, appearing to be pondering about something before straightening his posture and saying, "looks like we have to stop our session here today," while he shut the book close.

"its not even thirty minutes since we started studying!" she slammed her fists on the table, all her tired energy washing away from her body as she disagreed with namjoon. "what about my finals? my exams are getting closer and closer by the day!"

his response was fast. he slammed back on the table with both his palms twice as hard as hyejin did. "so you think you will be able to study with all these negative thoughts lingering in your mind?" namjoon deadpanned while glaring at her.

hyejin kept blinking in confusion.

it was the first time he had ever talked to hyejin in a serious manner. he was never harsh on her even when she had made the silliest mistakes yet here he was, snapping at her when she spoke something negative about herself.

namjoon sighed. "its the time when you need a break from studying instead of stressing your brain more," he said with his eyebrows scrunched in worry while leaning onto the table.

"do you prefer walking or cycling?" he asked her out of nowhere with his eyebrows still scrunched.

"uhh, cycling. why do you ask?" she tilted her head.

"perfect." he pursed his lips into a smile as he clasped his hands and stood up while fixing his shirt. "we are going to cycle."

• • •

"you are too slow!" hyejin teased namjoon as she went ahead of him.

"i'm not!" he yelled while pedaling aggressively, trying to match with hyejin's pace.

one pleasant evening in a serene park where people rested on the benches to wash their worries away with the soothing wind, stared at the two bickering kids riding on bikes and no one could ever doubt that the duo had a tutor-student relation.

"do you like this?" the older interrogated as he reached to her pace and they slowed their speed to a more relaxed one where they could have little talks once in a while while adoring the tranquil surroundings.

"a lot!" she heaved a heavy sigh of relief, a sigh which released all the pent up burdens and anxious thoughts out of her body.

" let's stop right there," namjoon said as they stopped beside a wooden bench. they parked their bikes before coming near the bench and wiped the droplets of water to sit.

after days of heavy pouring, the rain had stopped for a while so people seemed to grasp this opportunity to go out and spend their time in the chilled atmosphere. with the after-rain breeze, the temperature had dropped to a lower temperature which was perfect for having evening walks, drinking hot coffee and taking a breather. kids were found jumping about, squealing delightedly and playing various games the two had spent their childhood playing with.

"hyejin," namjoon called as she jerked her head at him, surprised that he called her by her name.

"yes?" she responded, her eyes wide in curiousity.

"is there something troubling you?" he enquired.

her breath hitched at the question. for her, he was her role model, someone she always looks upto. he was the only one she looked forward for advice. but to her dismay, this situation had caught her like a deer caught in the headlights. she wanted to tell him everything, empty her mind while she would rant to him but the doubt that his mind would turn foggy at her words, remained. even hoseok couldn't console her when she asked those questions, so how can he?

"i might not give you the perfect advice you may be looking for but its good to free yourself from these mental burdens from time to time." came the word from namjoon when he noticed she was hesitating.

she heaved a sigh before resting her body on the bench. "nah, i'm just getting some unwanted attention i never wished to get in the first place." she perked her lips while staring at the kids playing in the field. "but namjoon... what is so special in me?" she turned her head to look at him in the eye.

"can you stretch out the words please?" he tilted his head.

"i mean, what is so good in me? i'm a girl going through puberty who gets high all of a sudden and gets dejected the next second due to her horrible mood swings. i don't have those physical attractiveness... should i be happy because someone thought i was pretty or should i be sad because i'm insecure of myself?"

"listen hyejin-ah, i don't know what is happening right now but, you should know that no one can define your worth except yourself. no matter what people say about you, at the end of the day what matters is what you think and feel about yourself." namjoon passed her his soft dimpled smile as she nodded after giving it a long thought.

"hyejin!" a distant shout withdrew them back from their deep conversation.

"did someone call me?" hyejin shot up at the sound of her name, looking around her. then beside namjoon's side, she saw a tiny figure running towards them with immense speed. squeezing her eyes to take a better look, she saw a sunshine boy speeding towards them with a thundering cloud over his head.

"fuck. not him again!" hyejin shot up in fright as she held onto namjoon's shoulder and looked at the sky. "shit it's gonna rain again." she said with a fearful laugh.

"oh, it's hobi," namjoon said after catching up with the girl's rush of emotions.

"you called him?" her head shot across his direction in horror.

the boy laughed with no single clue, "oh yeah, he called me before we were cycling and he asked about you so i—"

"mhmm, i get it, i have to go now! thanks for your advice!" she yelled before lifting her baggy jeans to prevent her from tripping and fled away from the scene.

a/n: so how do you like namjoon so far? *inserts eye emoji*