Maybe he was crazy. Is it possible to die from heartbreak? At this point, he wasn't sure. They say it's fake, not possible, he's to young to love. Than why was he here in the hospital?

。。。

"Jaemin... Jaemin! YAH! Jaemin wake up!" JiSung shook the sleepy boy awake, mumbles and curses falling out of his mouth as he sat up groggily. His hair is a mess and his way to big shirt slipping off his shoulder.

"Hm..?" Jaemin yawns and blinks slowly, mind clouded and fuzzy from sleep. JiSung grand his hand and frowns, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Your hands are shaking... and you smell."

"Smell...?"

"Yeah, like bubblegum..." JiSung tilts his head, poking the elders cheek. "Did you fall asleep with bubblegum in your mouth?"

"No..."

"Oh... so than why..?"

Jaemin only shakes his head, he's also confused himself. How could he explain? What would he say? So he just shrugged.

"Hm...."

Jaemin sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, combing it back slightly. His mind wandering back to his dream. He brought his sweater paws to his nose, sniffing, inhaling the scent of the boy from his dreams. His chest suddenly tightening at the thought. What was this weird feeling?

It was seeping into his body everytime he inhaled the scent of pink bubblegum. It hurt and made him yearn for something. But what? He frowned slightly, staring at his sweater paws confused.

Was he crazy? Why did he feel so weird, why did he feel like this? It made him dizzy and lost. A sense of loss settling into him. As if he was missing something, losing something. Maybe it was someone. Maybe that was why his chest felt tight.

"Jaemin... why're you crying?"

Jaemin gasped and brought his head up to look at JiSung. He had completely forgotten the boy was still there.

"Crying?"

"Yeah... look. Why're you crying Hyung..? Are you hurt?"

Jaemin touched his cheek to find it wet. He had been crying. Was he hurt?

"I don't know..."

。。。

Jaemin pulled the white sweatshirt over his head, climbing into the bus after Doyoung. He yawned, plopping down next to the elder. The car shook and took off, gliding through the streets.

"I still don't understand why I need to go..." Jaemin mumbled, crossing his arms with a sigh. He was heading to his monthly psychiatric appointment to see if he was getting better and to see if his prescription needed to change.

"You know very well why you to go..." Doyoung sighed and looked at the younger sadly. It hurt him to see the younger so lost, sleep deprived, sick.

"I hate it."

"I know you do..."

"Can heartbreak kill?"

"Heartbreak? Of course not! Why do you ask?"

"I don't know..."

Jaemin sighed and leaned his head against the window, eyes traveling over the passing scenery. Cars and streets, shops and people. He wanted to experience something calm for once. Jeno was his calm. Jaemin smiled at the thought before quickly shaking it from his mind. It was wrong. Very wrong. The blonde didn't even exist.

"We're getting there Min..." Doyoung murmured, poking Jaemin. Jaemin nodded.

The hospital that Jaemin went to for his monthly checkups was toward he outer part of town, it was for those who needed more help, or had more expensive treatments and such. Jaemin was one of those people. His doctor and psychiatrist both worked there. Jaemin didn't mind though, it was much quieter with prettier scenery.

The huge building cane into view, gates and trees surrounding the outer edge as the car pulled in. Gardens and windows blurred past as they drove toward the parking lot.

Once the car was parked Jaemin and Doyoung climbed out, both silently walking to the front. The building was modern looking, the area it was in was homely save the building itself.

Jaemin sighed heavily and looked into the deep gardens. He blinked, swearing he saw familiar blonde hair. Jeno? He blinked, rubbing his eyes before looking again only to find no one there. Huh.

"Are you ok..?"

Jaemin jerked his head to the side to look at Doyoung, the elder frowning at him worried. Jaemin simply forced a smile and nodded. His head was starting to hurt for some reason. He sighed and simply shook it off, ignoring the dull pain and walking into the hospital building. Both walked until they reached his psychiatrists room.

"Jaemin...."

"Yeah, I know."

"Wait, I-"

Jaemin walked in and shut the door before light purple haired male could utter another word. It was the same everytime. Don't screw up. Don't get mad, don't cry, don't make a scene.

"Ah! Jaemin..." the man inside the room smiled. He was in his late twenties, young looking and handsome with a kind smile and pink hair.

"Dr.Kim...." Jaemin sighed and sat across from his psychiatrist on the same soft brown couch he'd been sitting on for the past three years. Three years of insomnia. Of hallucinations. Not being able to sleep. Of sitting in this chair and being told he needed help. That he wasn't crazy.

But he was.

At least, he thought he was.

"So, how've you been Jaemin? Are the sleeping pills working for you?"

"I've been normal as always... and yeah, they have been."

"Hm... Jaemin...."

"Doctor..."

"Please Jaemin... I'm here to help you..."

"I know... but something's just can't be fixed. Like me."

Jaemin smiled. No, he would never be fixed. But he could sure as he'll be okay. He just needed the empty space that seemed to grow to be filled.

"Doctor, can you die of heartbreak?"

。。。

"Oh JiHoon... I saw him..." the handsome boy chuckled softly, a smile playing against his lips. His light colored hair pushed back.

"It's your dream again." The older boy hummed, raising an eyebrow. Doubt on his face as he stared at the other. His cute face set in a frown.

"No... no I really saw him... in the gardens."

"Hm... I believe you."

"Good!"

"You look like you're on pain..."

"My head hurts a little, that's all...

"Should we tell the doctor?"

"No, I think I'll be ok..."

Right?

。。。

A/N:USHSISSHSJU IM SO SORRY! I planned on updating sooner with a longer chapter but things happened... :))))))) I'm kinda down right now so if it starts taking a darker or sadder turn I'm sorry! Please forgive me!