(Read the notes at the end of the chapter)
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(Hoseok's pov)
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I woke up to Jin hyung's loud voice. I sat up on my bed and rubbed the sleep off my eyes. Yesterday's encounter with Taehyung flashed across my mind. I quickly got up and brushed my teeth and got ready for the day. Today we had dance practice but before that we were more or less free so I decided that I would talk to Taehyung at that time.

By the time I got down for breakfast, everyone else was there already. I gave them a smile.

"Good morning "
Suga hyung directed towards me.
I acknowledged all of them and started eating breakfast with them.
I was closely watching Taehyung and he looked fine.

"Aish, hyungie, what are you doing, isn't my face pretty?"
I was so engrossed in observing Taehyung that I did not realise that I was staring at him. Taehyung was giggling and others were smiling fondly at him. I ruffled his hair.
"Yes, TaeTae is so pretty that he completely melts my heart baby"
I answered him, my voice dripping with fondness.
We continued bickering and teasing each other for the entire time we had our breakfast.
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After breakfast, Jin hyung and Namjoon hyung went to do the dishes. Jungkook and Jimin were probably bickering around and Yoongi was in his room listening to some beats and writing songs. This was the perfect time to talk to Taehyung. I walked to his room and gently opened his door. Taehyung was playing some video games and was startled to see me enter suddenly.

"Hey hyung, what's up?"
He grinned.

"Aah Taehyungie, you know, yesterday when I went to the bathroom after you, I saw blood...so, you are okay? Are you hurt? Did you fall down? You can tell hyung.."
I said, concern dripping in my voice.

For a moment, I saw his eyes widening, panic in his expression, but I could not decipher exactly what.

"Oh hyung, that..I just had a nosebleed, you know I guess I overworked, don't worry I had medicines, I am okay now hyung"
He grinned playfully and made a puppy face at me. I ruffled his hair.

"Okay, if you say so then. Hey, get ready, it's time for practice, the van will be here."
I told him and left his room.
Probably I was worried for no reason. He's fine, atleast that's what he says.

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(Taehyung's pov)

"Aah Taehyungie, you know, yesterday when I went to the bathroom after you, I saw blood...so, you are okay? Are you hurt? Did you fall down? You can tell hyung.."...
I did not know how to react. Did Hobi hyung know..how was I so irresponsible, shit.
I quickly fixed my expression into a grin and assured him that I am fine. He left my room and in half an hour we had to leave for our practice. I quickly got ready, wearing a black shirt and blue jeans.

I stood in front of the mirror. Who was I anymore? I looked damaged, my shattered self was hidden behind my mask, it's difficult. This is resilience. I don't know how much more I can go on like this. I am lost and I doubt if I can be found again.

One part of me wants to keep self harming, wants to smile maniacally seeing my own blood. But then there is this other part, which wants to shout for help. This part of me wants to scream and cry about it and tell the members and get comfort, but something stops me. Probably I am scared of their reaction, or maybe I have already given up. Maybe I don't want to try anymore. Maybe I failed at life.

I opened the bathroom cabinet. I could feel that today was going to be a difficult day. So, I took out my tiny silver blade and placed it in my bag. I always carry it when I feel things going out of my control. Cutting helps me fix my broken mask. I happily then strode out of my room, joining the others in the living room.
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(Timeskip)
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(Taehyung's pov)

I messed up. Why do I always mess up. I feel I am not good enough. Hoseok hyung pats my shoulder and Jungkook tells me that I am doing good, but I don't believe it. I cannot dance. I am bringing everyone down with me.
God, I can't even sing, and I am so so fat. I've spent nights reading about my flaws, there are these pages on Twitter where people have written that BTS would have been better without me and that I am a burden for them, and I believe them cause there is NO reason not to.

I feel my lungs cramping, I need to get away from this fucked up mess. I need to cut.
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During our water break, I grab my bag,

"Hey Jimin, I'll just use the washroom "
I say and I leave the room.

I run into the washroom and take out my blade. I open my jeans and bring it to my thighs. I drag the sharpness across my skin.

Ah!

I feel good. I cut a few more times and clean everything up and return to the practice room, smiling, actually feeling better.

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(Jimin's pov)

I join Yoongi hyung on the couch in our practice room. Everybody is either sprawled across the floor or gulping down water. Except Taehyung, he hurriedly went to the bathroom. Anyways, I start talking to Yoongi hyung.
After ten minutes, I noticed Taehyung was not here yet. I excused myself and got up from the couch to look for him when suddenly the door opened, and he came in smiling. But this smile, was different.

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My notes:

Hi guys, I am so so sorry for the late update. Honestly, I was going through a tough time. I promise I will try harder. Anyways, this is the continuation of the 1st part of "I self harm." There will be more parts to it cause this is a long story. Please bear with me.
Also, I am taking requests. So please feel free.
And please do vote and comment cause I need motivation. Constructive criticism is always welcomed. Thanks a lot guys for you constant support. Thank you so much.