1012 Words excluding (A/N)~ I no own MK/DC~

Written September 5 2020
Posted October 4 2020

Shinichi felt tired as he returned to his house, he was both emotionally and physically drained. He'd stayed the night in the cabin with Saguru since it'd be too dangerous for him to go through the woods alone at night. The blond had insisted that he didn't want the other to die while he was nearby since then it might just complicate things. It would have looked odd since there was logically no reason for the sleuth to be in such a rush to return.

His stomach growled a bit, but the sleuth ignored it. He didn't think that he'd be able to keep anything down right now, he felt sick. While the blond hadn't actually threatened him, Saguru had still stated his wish for him to die.

The reasons why kept repeating over and over again in his head, Saguru hadn't seemed blind with fury and hurt. Instead, he'd been cool and calm, if not intense with his emotions. The other detective had been speaking logically, stating facts and concerns. Valid concerns.

Shinichi swallowed, throat feeling dry. Was he going to end up hurting someone else?

*

Saguru blinked as he read the newspaper, he hadn't actually expected anything to happen since it'd been a month since that night in the cabin. The news article was reporting on the disappearance of Kudo Shinichi, the only thing stopping the whole of division acting was due to the fact that there'd been a suicide note left on the sleuth's bed and that all the perishables and garbage had been taken care of.

The actual contents of the note hadn't been released, but apparently the sleuth had finally had enough of running into murders. The approximate amount of cases known to the papers had actually been astounding, the number had easily passed into the thousands. Apparently, the officers were also going to look into the shinigami rumours since those couldn't have helped the poor boy's mental state at all.

Gold watered as both guilt and satisfaction clashed within him. This was for the best right? He absolutely knew that Kaito would be disappointed in him, but he honestly didn't care. What was the point of worrying about the magician's opinion of him if said magician was already dead?

It didn't matter at all. All that really mattered was that the sleuth had been punished in a way that wouldn't endanger anyone innocent or risk criminals walking free. There was no way that the other could have been put into prison for a crime unless it was a serious crime which Shinichi would have never done willingly. It would have made people lose a dangerous amount of faith in the police. What did it say when one of the best turned out to be a criminal himself? The sleuth had been too well known for him to just be silently locked away. People would have talked, questions would have been asked. It would have been inevitable for people to find out.

Saguru sniffed, cheeks wet from tears. He'd tried to allow himself to be fine with the sleuth just helping with the cover up, he honestly had. But seeing that face working and touching Kaito's stuff had been too much. It wasn't fair that Kaito's killer had been allowed to walk away free of charge! Kaito had been an absolutely amazing person, someone who brought in so much light into his life. He just... Seeing Kaito's killer, and working with said killer, he couldn't stand it. Their faces were just too similar, maybe if they'd looked more different, it wouldn't have been as hard.

He hadn't been lying when he'd spoken to the sleuth, he really hadn't. He'd been brutally honest as he told his opinions and deductions regarding Shinichi. There'd been no threat at all, nor any seething accusations, just some difficult inquiries and statements. He'd just given the other some information that may or may not have been hard to deal with.

Shinichi had been the one to act on his suggestions. Saguru wasn't a murderer, that was impossible. The sleuth was way too smart to even listen to someone unless he himself believed it. Shinichi had come to the conclusion that he was better off dead, Saguru had just been the one to offer some information to the sleuth. It was a suicide, not a murder, he wasn't a dangerous person like the sleuth, right?

Saguru would just deal with the guilt, it'll go away soon, he just needs to think more logically. He only felt guilty because he'd known that there was a chance that this would happen and hadn't tried to stop it. That was it. It had to be.

"Oh dear, are you okay?" Baaya asked, holding out a handkerchief, worry etched across her face.

The blond blinked away his tears before accepting the handkerchief and wiping his face "Yes Baaya" He winced at how his voice cracked "It's just a shame that such a great detective ended up in a situation where he felt like he had to do that" Kaito shouldn't have been killed.

Baaya eyed him "I think that you should stay home from school today" Her gaze softened, her surrogate son had been having a hard time ever since he'd lost Kaito. He deserved to rest.

Saguru nodded "Thank you" He offered a weak smile "I don't think that I'd be able to pay attention in class anyways" He was filled with too many conflicting emotions right now and he didn't want to deal with any questions. Aoko would be sure to fuss over him. They've become better friends recently.

"I know that you'll get through this" Baaya breathed, gaze soft as she pulled him into a hug "You're my strong and gentle boy"

The blond felt a fresh wave of tears hit him as he leaned into Baaya's arms, why did those words hurt? "I love you Baaya" He sniffed, feeling her fingers start to card through his hair.

"You're so sweet" Baaya's eyes were sparkling as she pulled away "Why don't you head upstairs and rest? I'll check on you in a bit okay?"

Saguru nodded "Yes Baaya"

Me: Saguru is so not okay...

Next week... is something silly ^-^

Hope you enjoyed~ or felt something at least

Here's pics of old pets to raise spirits XP

Little cat (orange) was the one cat that actually liked my rats instead of mostly tolerated. He groomed and snuggled lots... •^• I regret my habit of rarely taking pics

Below Fluffy (Grey) is just so expressive and pretty

She is not impressed