As I turned from the door, I met with Hona. He was staring at me, holding a spear in his hand. His gaze did not hold malice but concern.

I tried to ignore him and wanted to walk away but he was blocking the stairs and hall to the right. If he wasn't going to leave me alone, I would have to do everything to push him away.

With what Rooke said, I wasn't sure what to think. I knew that I should stay away from him because of Baria's orders, but he ended up finding me instead. I looked down at the ground, trying not to meet his gaze.

"Are you doing okay?"

I jerked my head upward and stared at him, wondering how he could ask such a question when he's seen what I had endured in the last few days. I decided I had to do what Rooke said, I had to make sure Hona stayed away and I stayed away from him. In order to survive Udan, I would have to make him hate me.

"I just love being a servant and being hated by the entire village," I spat, rolling my eyes. "I'm doing just fantastic."

"I am sorry," he whispered. "So sorry you are in this position."

There was truth to my words, to my pain. I felt bad blaming it on Hona, but I needed to keep myself safe.

"You put me in this position," I spat. "You opened your mouth and put me here."

"I was trying to save you." His voice fell.

My chest ached as the regret rose. I shouldn't have said anything further but it was too late to go back.

"Maybe I didn't want to be saved," I hissed.

"Mara, you were on your deathbed. I had to save you. If I didn't..." His voice broke as a lump emerged in his throat.

It hurt that he felt bad, that he wanted me to live. He didn't even know me and he wanted to save me. It didn't matter to Hona that I was a Kaijan, to him, I was human.

I laughed in disbelief. "Death would be better than this," I whispered. "I am nothing at this point. No one even calls me by a name. I am a Kaijan. An enemy of Udan and that is all. At this point, I don't think I am even considered human anymore."

"I... still call you Mara."

I took a step forward, watching him step back. "And who are you really?" I probed. "A king, a traitor? You aren't supposed to speak to me and yet, here you are yapping away."

"I can't help myself," he whispered. "You've been constant in my mind. I just had to speak with you again even if it meant getting into trouble."

The truth was he was on my mind too. The feeling of our embrace warmed my thoughts.

I narrowed my gaze. I had to get him away from me at any cost. If Rooke was right, I was endangering myself from just speaking with him. "You hardly know me," I spat. "I am just a stranger."

"Yet, I feel like I've known you my entire life."

I froze in place. Even though I wanted the conversation to end, I couldn't help asking what he meant. He unraveled me, and the hate I forced myself to feel dissipated.

"What?"

"I told you that you remind me of someone but I never told you what she meant to me."

I pursed my lips and looked on each side of the foyer. No one was in the throne room and no one was in the hall. I checked the stairs, finding them empty. If we were alone, no one could find out we were speaking, but I doubted we were alone. A heavy pressure pressed against my back, like stares from the village. I was already risking my life speaking to him.

"Go on."

He looked behind us to where I was looking. "We shouldn't discuss this here. I know where we can go."

I went with him, even though I could lose my head.

He opened the door to one of the empty rooms on the second level of the castle. A double bed made with a bookshelf in the corner stood before me. A candle with wax dripping down the base was lit on the bedside table, provoking shadows to lift. I wasn't certain if it was a good idea to stay within Hona but from the look on his face, shadowed by the light, it was a conversation that couldn't wait.

"What is this?" I asked.

"This was her room," he declared. "My Kaijan."

His Kaijan.

"Yours?"

"Her name was Anai," he explained. "And I loved her."

He was engaged to Baria but there didn't appear to be any love between the two. Hearing that he loved another, confused me.

"What happened?"

"She died," he said, his voice cracking. "Right next to me."

I didn't know how she died, but it must have been devastating to have her die next to him. My eyes blurred with tears. I stared at Hona, feeling the sadness illuminate off his body.

"I am so sorry," I whispered, seeing the same man I saw in the tower again.

"Baria killed her," he revealed. "She..."

I placed a hand on his shoulder as the chills burdened my spine. Even though I wanted to know what happened, I couldn't stand to see him this upset. "You don't have to remember it," I whispered. I fell to his chest and placed my arms around his waist. I felt his shaky arms do the same. We stood in the dim light of the room. His body heaved against mine as he sobbed.

The sadness was dormant but the tears dissipated. He pulled away fast, shaking his head. "I shouldn't be here with you," he said, walking to the door. He opened it. "I'm sorry I made you think this is okay."

He left me in the room with confusion and sadness. I wasn't sure who the real Hona was. The one I just saw or the one others did.

I waited before leaving because I wasn't sure what or who could be on the other side. Even though I feared being in a dead woman's room, I feared death more. If I encountered Baria, the selfish queen who was putting herself before her people, I would find it. I also could run into Jonga, the cruel warrior who bore extreme hate for me.

I cracked open the door, finding no one was in the hall. I opened it fully and stepped out, sighing. I wasn't sure what kind of life I had before but wondered if it was anything like this. As I walked down the stairs, I felt a heaviness in my feet. I wondered if I was always going to be the enemy. I thought back to the children I saw when I was walking in town with Baria. The selfish words she spat rang through my head.

"My own luxuries," she said. "Food, furs. Everything a queen deserves."

I ran into Qia. She stared at me long, her face reddening. "There you are!" she cried out. "We have been searching for you.I heard your voice in the hall and came to find you." She looked behind me, and I could see the suspension in her eyes.

"I had to attend to some matters."

"I see. Come on," she declared. "I don't think you've eaten today."

My stomach growled as soon as she said that. I had not eaten since the night before.

I followed her down the hall and into the kitchen. Tiroa was leaning over a pot that was steaming. A savory aroma touched my nose. "What is that?"

"Stew," she answered with a smile. "It's the queen's favorite."

"What kind of stew?"

"Wild rabbit," she answered. "It's my mother's recipe. We used to eat it by the fire when we had our home." There was a glint of tears in her eyes but she blinked them away. "Well, I hope you enjoy it. Eat as much as you want."

Tiroa grabbed a bowl next to her and used the ladle in the pot to spoon some into it. There was a wrinkled smile on her face as she did. "You have the first bowl, Mara."

I approached, warmth heating my hands as I took the bowl from her. "Thank you," I said, my stomach begging to eat the meal already. Qia opened a drawer and grabbed a silver spoon. She handed it to me.

"We take care of our own here," she said.

I raised a brow. "Your own?"

"You are a part of Udan now," she declared. "And we are united as a clan here."

I used a part of Udan. They see more as more than an intruder.

The heaviness on my shoulders I felt before disappeared and for the first time, I didn't wish I knew who I was before. I was content with being who I was now. The lies I told Hona no longer had any truth.

Perhaps the river could wait a little longer before I went back to it.

I finished eating the stew quickly. It was delicious, tasting of rich meats, vegetables, and herbs. Tiroa had a silver platter neatly arranged on the counter. It contained a bowl, much larger than ours, and a few other delicacies such as bread, a glass of wine, and grapes.

A crash sounded from outside in the hall. Qia and Tiroa stood, rushing out of the room. I followed, listening, the sound of murmurs escaped from the open entrance to the castle. We stepped outside, gathering with the crowd around Baria. I made my way to the front of the line, standing behind a few other Udanians. In the center Baria stood and she was not alone. A man with pale skin such as mine and white hair was saddled on his knees, hands in the air in surrender.

"Intruder!" she shouted. "Another Kaijan!" She held a dagger to his throat. The man gulped, sweat drenching his forehead and face.

"Please," he whispered. "I was searching for princess Tara. She has been missing from Kaija for days now. I was only doing what I was told-"

"Silence!" she howled. "You have broken the agreement. Kaijans are not to step on my land! I have had enough of your people's carelessness."

"The Guardian wasn't present," he cried out. "It was gone!"

It was still gone. Baria must have not found it when she ventured off into the woods.

"I imagine you've slaughtered it," she hissed. "It wouldn't be the first time Kaijans have tried to steal its Power."

He gulped, his adam's apple moving. "Please, Queen Baria. Have mercy on me." Tears welled in his eyes. "I-I have a family. I am not a warrior from Kaija, I am only a man. I was sent by the king to search for princess Tara." The princess's name came out in a gasp as the man broke into sobs.

"I will not hear your excuses." She looked at her people then back to the man. "It is what has to be done."

She leaned in and sliced the dagger across his throat. He fell forward, sputtering. She caught his body and held it, blood pouring down his chest and her forearm. She whispered something into his ear then let him fall.

The Kaijan man tumbled to the ground, eyes opened in fear. Blood poured from his wound, pooling in a puddle around his body.

The Uadanians screamed in fear, cowering. Children cried and so did mothers as they scrambled to flee from the scene. I held my tongue, stomach twisting. The stew was going to come back up. Bile burned the back of my throat as I stared into the vacant eyes of the dead man.

"I am protecting our people," she declared. She looked savage with the blood on her skin and dress. "Any intruder who steps on my land will die eventually." She turned, looking at me. She slid the dagger into the sheath at her side. Rooke stepped forward, his face unchanged from the horror before us. "Dispose of the body. Cast him into the river and let the river's monster take care of him."