Hona

I remained by Mara's side as she slept, listening to her breathe. Hour after hour, I would check on her, making sure that she was all right. When she screamed earlier, I thought something was wrong.

My thoughts kept me awake and stumped. I waited for her judgement, shaming me for I was in the bed of another woman. Her ruthless cry sounding against my sin.

"Hona!" Anai cried out, laughing as we fell onto the bed. When she said my name, it felt right. It was the only thing that had ever felt so right. I held her in my arms, hoping to keep her safe. Together, we kindled a fire between our bodies.

I jolted. I couldn't let the memory in. I couldn't let her take over my mind now. Yet, I couldn't stop thinking about her even with Mara by my side.

When Anai entered my life, she showed me more than fighting and conflict. She taught me all the things sustaining me from being detached. She taught me how to have compassion instead of an emotionless warrior like Jonga. Anai reminded me of humanity.

In time, I fell in love with the fascinating person she was despite her being a Kaijan. Baria watched from the side. She sought to tear me away from Anai by any means and she succeeded.

"I'm glad you could escape from her grasp," Anai chuckled, kissing me on the cheek. She stared into my eyes, searching for my soul. Her gaze opened my heart, bearing it. "That means I get you for a night."

"I shouldn't be gone long," I explained, taut, staring toward the wooden door. "Baria has been wary since we've been spending time together. She placed me on guard to watch over her while she slept."

Anai's brow rose. She looked at me with her radiant blue eyes and laughed. Placing my tanned hand on her pale one, our fingers entwined.

"I should be jealous," she whispered, bearing a sad smile. "There is not a man in Udan that can compare to you and the queen gets to have you all to herself."

I smiled, bringing her head close to my chest. I kissed the top of it. "There is not a woman in Udan that can compare to you, even the queen," I countered. "So don't worry your pretty little head."

"Smooth," she oozed with a roll of her eyes.

Her beautiful eyes. Blue as the sky. Her white hair. Soft and gentle as snow. Everything about Anai was beautiful.

"I think I have fallen for you," I blurted, causing her expression to shift.

Anai broke from my cage and turned to me, laughing in disbelief. Her white hair tumbled to the bed in waves, shining like pale moonlight.

"Fallen for me?" she laughed again, smirking. "How?"

"You are all I can think about," I answered, my grin broadening, "Every hour of every day, you are my sole reason to smile."

She reddened, holding her hands over her face and fell back against the pillow, trying to conceal her own growing smile. Anai revealed her face, displaying her blushed cheeks. She sat up, planting her hands on her lap.

"Thank you, but you lie."

"I would never lie to you," I promised. "Believe me, you are constant, always in my mind."

"Am I?"

"Indeed," I whispered, feeling my face turn red as one of her straps from her dress escaped from her shoulder, falling to her arm.

"What thoughts linger in your mind, warrior?"

I grabbed her by the waist and flipped her over. She landed on her back, staring at me with shocked eyes. "Impure ones worth exploring."

Silence fell over us. Even though it was heavy, it advanced us toward each other. I grazed my hand on the back of Anai's neck and brought her toward me. Even though she was wearing a servant's attire, she was stunning. Her hourglass figure enticed me, driving something primal to arise. Something hungry and needing.

Our lips touched, and for the first time, we didn't pull away. A force was drawing us closer together. My other hand slipped to her face, cupping in my palm. The more my heartbeat deepened, so did our kiss. My stomach fluttered as my hand wandered, clutching her waist. I felt every part of her I yearned for.

My hands traveled under her black dress, feeling how warm her flesh was against mine. She tried to pull away, but my kiss delivered her back. She draped her arms around my neck, squeezing her chest against mine.

Endorphins ran as his hand climbed, inflaming a flicker of lust. Her hands roamed with mine, her fingers moved, grazing my back. Chills shot up my spine as her hands moved to his chest. My hands journeyed once more, reaching to expose her.

I envisioned her warmth against my exposed chest and listened to the whispers as she gasped in pleasure. Together, one, the same.

My mind strayed to the awful moment I lost her forever. When Baria found us.

Mara flipped over, moaning as she grasped at a pillow.

The door opened in the crevasse of slumber. I heard it, but thought it was my mind playing tricks on me. I knew I should have left the room and returned to my post, but spending a night next to my beloved was something I could not resist.

My arms were wrapped around her. Her sweaty body was close to mine. Anai's heartbeat pounded against my arm, as I inhaled her sweet flowery scent whilst slumbering.

I was at peace. A sense of bliss rushed over me, until she disappeared from my grasp.

My eyes peeled open, darting around the room. My gaze fell onto my queen. Baria. She was holding Anai's hands back with one hand, and in the other was a silver dagger pressed to her neck.

I flinched, driving back into the memory unwillingly. Now that I was recalling it, there was no escape.

"How dare you!" Baria howled, tears cascading from her eyes. Her face was hollow and empty yet there was hurt there. "I gave you everything, and even spared her life, and you have forsaken me!"

I couldn't focus on Baria's words. The look of horror on Anai's face made all sound disappear. Tears blurred in her eyes.

My heart soared. "Let her go," I begged, my hands shaking. "I'm sorry!"

"Sorry?" she challenged. "There's nothing to say for what you have done."

What I had done. I consorted with a servant and deceived my queen.

I chose love over honor.

"Please," I whispered, "d-don't hurt her. I will return to my post. I will leave her alone. I will go back to being only yours and yours alone."

"I'll leave Udan!" Anai cried out, beaming at him with glass eyes. "I'll never come back and never see him again. Please, spare me."

My heart cracked, the lines spreading. She would leave, I would never see her again. I looked into Baria's silver eyes, hoping to find remorse, but there was none to be found. Remnants of anger and deception. Her face stoned as her hand wavered. The dagger slipped against Anai's throat. A touch of blood leaked from the wound.

"No," Baria whispered, her breath airy. "I am afraid you must pay for the crime you have committed. Both of you must suffer the price."

I focused on the candlelight, trying to rid the memory. I couldn't see her die again. I couldn't bear the sight of her body limp against the bed. I couldn't lose her for the second time.

Tears grazed my cheeks. I begged for the memory to release its hold, but it continued, showing the horror tormenting me for many years.

"Baria," I said, trying to move my hand, but I was stuck to the bed, cowering in fear.

I couldn't lose Anai. She was the only reason for life to go on. I loved her. I had to save her...

Baria stepped back, letting the blade graze her neck. The spray of blood from her collar was permanently embedded in my mind.

Baria stared at me, watching my face twist in horror as she released Anai's body from her grasp. She fell limp, landing on the pillow with wide eyes. Crimson blood emerged in a steady stream from her deep wound. When I could move, I positioned myself toward Anai, drawing her into my arms. Blood flowed onto my arm as I worked to keep her against my chest. I was desperate, yearning to save her once again.

"Don't go," I begged, my legs shaking with my hands. "Don't go. I-I can save you!" I tried to piece her back together like she was a broken doll.

"Too late," she whispered in a sputter, blood pooling from the side of her mouth. She smiled, looking into his eyes. I felt the love and heartbreak all at once.

"Please, stay with me," I whispered. "Please."

"I love—" her voice stopped, the chirp gone. I wished she said it. The words I needed to survive.

The silence welcomed my mourning screams as I held her against my chest. I wept, my eyes ached as much as my heart. "Please wake up," I mumbled into her still body. "Please." I turned to Baria, knowing she could save her. I was desperate, ready to offer my own soul to bring Anai back into this world. "Please, save her."

"No," she replied, stoic, staring at what she had done. "You must be punished for your insolence."

I blinked, unsure of what happened. "Baria?"

Do not go against me again," she stated, leaving the room. All at once devastation hit and I lost the part of myself I gained.