CHAPTER FOURTY NINE
[49]

song: another love by tom odell

THREE WEEKS HAD PASSED SINCE THE TRIP TO BAR HARBOR. Three weeks worth of an overwhelming feeling of paranoia and fear. Three weeks of Daisy learning to defend herself, just in case some supernatural serial killer tried to attack her again. Something she never thought she'd have to learn.

Three weeks of Daisy letting her guard down around Kai again.

She awoke at seven in the morning like she usually did. When the sun peaked out over the street houses in Manhattan and shined right into the window onto her as she slept. Daisy sat up and yawned.

For a few seconds, she felt at peace, like she did every morning. They were the few seconds that she forgot where she was, who she was, and why she was here. But they quickly faded, with the remembrance that Kai Parker was downstairs sleeping on her couch.

The Kai Parker that stalked her, manipulated her into thinking he loved her, manipulated her into killing people, kidnapped her, and the reason she was locked in a prison world in the first place.

She placed her hand on her stomach, glancing down at the now scarred over stab wound on her stomach. The stab wound that should've killed her that night of the Valentine's Dance.

Rubbing her eyes, she got up from her bed and walked to the bathroom. She washed her face, brushed her teeth, and put on a fresh set of clothes. Anything to make her feel human.

She didn't want to go downstairs and see him. She wished she could just climb out the window and run off and be alone again. She'd grown so used to being alone these past years that the thought of complete isolation brought her comfort. Maybe if she was stuck here with someone else, it wouldn't. But she'd never know.

She didn't like that she wasn't constantly angry with Kai anymore. She didn't like that she didn't have the urge to kill him. She didn't like that he was sleeping downstairs. On her couch.

It meant that she was fine with him. And while fine is fine. It's not fine because it's Kai.

It meant was fine with him cooking her breakfast and dinner, and that she was fine with him teaching her how to fight witches. And that she was fine with him living with her and talking to her.

She didn't want things to be fine. He didn't deserve fine. But neither did she.

But ignoring the thoughts that had resurfaced in her brain every morning, she went downstairs. Usually, music would be playing from the kitchen, and the smell of breakfast would fill her nose. But it was quiet, and there was no sweet inhale of sizzling bacon.

She frowned a bit as she edged the bottom of the stairs and glanced into the living room. Kai wasn't still asleep. The couch was 'made', with neatly folded blankets sat on top his pillow. She glanced into the kitchen, and still he wasn't there.

Daisy lingered at the bottom of the steps for a second, as the feeling of worry started to pool in her stomach. Quickly she shook the thoughts of panic from her body. He's gone. You should be glad. She told herself, as she carried on.

She entered the kitchen, grabbing orange juice from the fridge and pouring herself a glass, trying to act content. She leaned against the counter and sipped it. The silence of the empty house was awkward in comparison to how loud it had been these past few weeks.

Daisy tried to find peace in it. She tried to relax and enjoy the slow, quiet, Kai-free morning. She tried to remember how it felt when she used to wake up here before Kai showed up. It was pretty similar, but instead of orange juice in her hand it was probably whiskey. And she'd probably be standing in front of a burning building, not in the kitchen of a Manhattan street house.

She looked out the sunny window behind her, noticing the gate to the backyard was wide open. Setting her glass down, she neared the door and opened it, walking outside to get a better look.

Rationality kicked in. Kai could've either got up and left, or someone showed up and drug him out. They hadn't had anymore encounters with new prison world guests, but that didn't mean they couldn't happen again.

She swallowed harshly, stepping off the stairs of the back porch and slowly stepping towards the open gate. It was probably nothing, the wind might've just blown it open. But either way, she felt herself wanting to find out. Was it impulsive and stupid? Absolutely. But at least she was self aware.

She looked around, staying aware of her surroundings. Quickly, the gate slammed shut, and she jumped backwards, letting out a gasp at the sudden noise. She felt her feet dragging her back inside, and before she could even process it she felt a whoosh of magic yank her back. It was like an invisible rope was tied around her waist, and someone had just tied the other end to the back of car and slammed a foot on the gas.

The wind was knocked out of her as she landed on her back, skidding across the grass. She felt her breath leave her lungs before she gasped as hard as she could for the chance to get more air.

Daisy quickly tried to remember everything Kai had told her. It's all mental. If you can feel the magic coming before it makes physical contact with you, you can stop it.

For a split, split second, she could feel another touch of magic reach out to her, but she was barely given any time to do anything about it before she felt her muscles tense up— and she found herself frozen on the ground, completely vulnerable.

She was fully paralyzed, and that's when the real panic sunk in. Whoever was at the other hand of this, could do whatever they wanted with her. It was she imagined sinking in quick sand would feel like, but worse. A thousand times worse. All she could do was squint up at the sky, and await whatever was going to happen next.

"You didn't even try." A familiar voice says as they stepped towards her. Kai came into view, looking down at Daisy who lay frozen on the ground.

Panic was replaced with rage and Daisy's eyes widened with fury. Kai waved a lazy hand, and she regained movement. He held a hand out but she smacked it away, and instead struggled to get up herself.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She says, trying to stand. It was hard as she fully hadn't regained her breath from getting pretty much flung across the yard.

"You broke like three of the 'human trying to not get killed by a witch' rules." Kai says, shaking his head disappointedly. He held his hand out and counted with his fingers. "First, you came out here in complete open space, literally walking towards the danger. Second, you didn't have anything to defend yourself with when one of your rifles was right by the back door. And third... you panicked."

Daisy couldn't believe what he was saying. She just glared at him, feeling anger build up within her before she charged towards him, yelling and pointing her finger at him. "You are unbelievably infuriating. You refuse to leave me alone. You sleep in my house when you could at least just sleep next door. You constantly pester me just for entertainment— and then you attack me? With magic? And expect me to know how to stop it after three weeks of 'training' which usually just consists of you babbling on about spells and me sitting there trying not to kill myself from boredom? Seriously?"

Daisy spoke so quickly and with such ferocity that Kai could barely understand half of what she was saying. He didn't move, just watched with amusement as she stomped towards him until there was no where else to go, and she stood inches from him.

He waited a few seconds before speaking, looking down at her. "Are you done?" He asks calmly. He could feel the anger radiating off of her as she breathed heavily, staring up at him with hateful eyes. He took the silence as answer enough. "I was trying to catch you off guard. See if you've been learning anything. Clearly, you haven't." He makes an awkward face, examining her now dirt covered clothes from the skid across the yard.

"Why the hell do you even care so much?! We can't even die here!" She asks, narrowing her eyes at him, as he slowly made his way to the back porch. "And don't say it's because you don't want to see me hurt because—"

"I don't want to see you hurt." Kai nods.

She scoffs, shaking her head. "Well I don't believe you. There's gotta be another reason. Y-you always have another motive another— another scheme that I don't know about." She stumbled on her words a bit from the anger that still lingered in her chest.

"You don't have to believe me." Kai shrugs lazily. "But it's true."
She searched for something else to say, refusing to let him have the 'last word', but he started speaking again before she could get anything else out. "What if someone really was here to hurt you and it was that easy for them to lure you outside, paralyze you and pick you up and do whatever they want with you?"

His words scared her, because for a second that's what she really thought was happening. But she couldn't let him know that. "You clearly know a lot about kidnapping people. Maybe you could give them some pointers." She says. Kai turned and looked at Daisy, a stern look on his face. Clearly her comment wasn't as funny to him as it was to her. "Oh I'm sorry, did me making a joke about you kidnapping me and locking me in a pantry for three days strike a nerve?" She asks sarcastically.

He runs his tongue over his bottom teeth. "I'm being serious. You have no idea about the kinds of people my Coven deals with— who knows when they'll decide to dump them in here!?" He shrugs. "I'm trying to help you. They're dangerous people—"

Daisy groans loudly. "Stop acting like you aren't one of those 'dangerous' people your Coven didn't deal with!" She flings her arms out at him frustratedly. "Newsflash! Your coven dumped you here because you're a fucking serial killer!"

"My coven dumped me here because they didn't want to deal with me—"

"They didn't want to deal with you because killed your family!" She says. "What's not clicking here?! You are the person I should be learning to defend myself from! Because it clearly didn't work the first time!" She raises her shirt and gestures towards the scar on her stomach.

Kai let himself cool down for a second before speaking again. "First, you technically stabbed yourself." He says, the tone of the conversation switching from stern to sarcastic in a matter of seconds. Maybe that was why talking to him was so infuriating. "Second, I don't want to hurt you. So."

She shook her head, giving up on trying to get anywhere with him. She stomped up the stairs of the back porch, walking past him and back inside. "What's the fucking point?!" She yelled, not sure if she was talking to herself or Kai. "You're so oblivious to what you've done to me it's not even worth trying to get it through your thick skull." She quieted down as spoke that time, leaning against the kitchen table, and resting her face in her palms.

"I didn't do anything to you. All I did was show you who you are. Show you what I saw but you couldn't." He responded.

"You ruined my life." She slowly lifted her head from her palms. For the first time since he's been here, Kai looked like her words stung. "I was eighteen. And you took— you took everything from me. Because I wanted to do the things that you wanted me to do. Because I thought it'd make you love me. I thought— I thought you loved me." Her voice was shaky. Her thoughts were weird to finally vocalize, especially saying them to him.

He breathed heavily, taking a small step closer to her. "I did love you." He spoke quietly.

Their gazes lingered on each other for a long while. In Kai's eyes, Daisy could see the broken boy within. The broken boy who was never loved, who therefore didn't know how to love. Only how to own, and possess, in fear of being left alone and forgotten again.

The worst part about all of this, was after everything, she didn't hate him. She couldn't hate him. And while that was the worst part, it also gave her hope that somewhere deep down she was still human. She still knew how to see someone, and love someone, and care about someone. Even if he couldn't.

"I love you." He spoke, not lifting his gaze off her once. "Still."

Daisy closed her eyes, her chest raking with the urge to cry. Slowly she began to shake her head. "You don't." She said quietly, as she reopened her eyes she felt a tear roll down her cheek— a feeling that had grown completely foreign to her. "Kai," Her voice cracked as she spoke his name. His eyes were full of devastation and desperation. "You don't."

"I do." He nodded eagerly, truly trying to prove himself. But he had no idea what he felt. He knew he felt something, but what is love? He didn't know, he had nothing to compare it to to know.

But if what he felt wasn't love, why could he not imagine life without her? He had lost her once. He couldn't bare it again.

"You loved—" She began, but corrected herself. "You love the idea of having someone that won't abandon you that's why— that's why you got me to do something that would tie me to you forever." She took a breath. "Whether or not that side of me was already there— you made me think what we did was okay. It wasn't. And it never will be."

Kai already knew everything she was saying, but it hurt hearing her say it. What he couldn't understand was why she felt such immense regret and pain towards what they did. As he didn't feel anything. "What can I do?" He says, shaking his head slightly. "What can I do to make things better— to make things okay again?"

"Things were never okay." Her voice cracked. "That's the problem. We were never okay."

Kai processed her words, trying desperately to understand her. As he watched her, the only thing he saw was resentment. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't stop. He couldn't let her go. She was all he had.

"Leave me alone." Daisy says, catching Kai off guard. She immediately regretted the words after she heard them out loud.

Why did she still feel bad? Why didn't she want to see him hurt? He deserved to feel hurt, he deserved—

"No." Kai responded. She didn't process it for a few seconds, but as soon as she did, she was clearly taken aback. While there was a subtle relief that he didn't comply, the response still felt unsettling. "Even if you hate me. Even if you try to kill me and never look at me ever again— I won't leave." He shook his head.

Daisy wondered if these were the words he wanted to hear from her. From anyone.

She was so burnt out. Her chest and eyelids felt heavy, and she thought that as her excuse to give up, and stop fighting him. But she knew the truth. She knew that if he really left her alone. She would crumble. As much as she tried to resent it, as much as she tried to deny it and ignore it— they were soulmates.

Daisy felt a heavy breath leave her chest and she fell forward her knees buckling at the feeling of relief— good and bad. She softly pounded a fist on his chest as she fell into him, beginning to sob.

He held onto her elbows, keeping her up right as she continued to hit his chest as she cried. He didn't know what to do, or say, so he didn't do anything. He just let her feel again.

a/n
i did NOT start this chapter thinking it was gonna turn emo my bad hahshddhfu 😸
- jane