CHAPTER EIGHTY EIGHT
[88]
song: can i exist by missio

DAISY HAS SO MANY QUESTIONS, ones that sat at the tip of her tongue eagerly waiting to be answered- but she wanted to hurt him. It was the one emotion she felt right now that she was so sure of. The questions could wait, they could be answered by someone else. And her anger spoke for her, she straightened her back- looking at the boy in front of her with lifeless eyes, each word laced with venom. "I never want to see you again."

You could see his heart shattering with the frantic movements of his eyes, as they searched desperately for any sign of hope. "Daze..." He let out quietly.

He steps towards her, but when he saw her flinch- when he saw the hatred and anger in her eyes, he froze as he realized just how bad this really was.

"How long?" Daisy asked, not phased by the cold rain that was picking up speed, that almost sizzled against her skin which housed her now boiling blood. She took a step towards him instead, almost stomping. "How long did you know?"

Kai felt sick. He had so much he wanted to say, so much explaining to do, but he knew it was all useless. He knew nothing he had to say would bring any aid to her right now. He felt himself wanting to keep lying, wanting to play dumb, wanting to do anything that would calm her down right now— but he couldn't. He couldn't keep lying. He wanted to, but he couldn't.

"Since I found out you were still alive." Kai says. He spoke calmly, but his eyes were filled with such worry that it couldn't mask his attempt at appearing content. "In the prison world."

All she could do was let out a small scoff. It wasn't one that would usually be followed by a snarky remark, or a smile. It was a small scoff that was just a bodily reaction to the betrayal she felt. It carried no meaning, she wasn't even sure she chose to let it out— or if it was a scoff at all. Maybe it was a cry, she didn't know, as the rain was growing too strong to differentiate from the tears.

She wasn't sure what to say. She didn't want to turn and leave, not yet. She couldn't, because she knew she wanted more answers, more explanations— just something that would add even the slightest of reasoning to why he would do this to someone he claimed to love so much.

"All of this has been a lie." Daisy let's out, looking up at Kai with slightly narrowed eyebrows. It wasn't posed as a question, but Kai heard it as one. "Since the day you moved in next door."

He shook his head, rain falling from his now soaking wet hair. "It hasn't been a lie—" He says, stepping towards her, a bit more cautiously this time. "Daisy, please, I love you—"

Daisy didn't back away this time, she just looked up at him with wide angry eyes. "Do you really think that means anything to me now?" She asks.

Kai didn't say anything for a while, his mouth was gapped open, awaiting for something to come out. He had a million responses running through his mind, yet none of them would leave his lips. "I don't care." He said, and began to shake his head again. "I don't care— I love you. I know I do."

"You don't do this to someone you love." Daisy gets in his face, talking sternly as her lips trembled. "You don't use them like this. I—" Daisy stepped away, letting out a shaky breath. She felt like she was choking, and she brought her hand up to her throat and rubbed it as if to relieve some tension. "Why wouldn't you just tell me?" She asked, now just flat out confused.

"You'd leave." Kai said, with zero hesitation.

She takes a few breaths before responding. "And you think this was the better option?" She asks, pain straining her voice.

"You were never supposed to know." He swallows.

Daisy felt another gasp creeping up from her throat, but she held it in. "Do you even hear what you're saying?!" She shakes her head. "Kai— you lied to me. And you used me for power, for—" she swallows harshly, as if hearing herself saying this out loud made it all officially true. "For decades. And you told me you loved me. And you're—" her chest fell heavy after she searched for the right words. A powerful, overwhelming feeling of anger, betrayal, fear, sorrow and everything in between clouded her thoughts. "I hate you." Was all she could get out.

Kai felt his heart as it began to physically ache, like the hurt was spreading to the entirety of the rest of his body. Up his throat, like a knot that he couldn't just swallow away. He stared at the girl in front of him, as nothing but hatred clouded her eyes. That was it. No desperation, no regret, no fear. Just hatred.

Strands of her wet hair fell in front of her face, and he felt the urge to move them out of the way because he knew she wouldn't do it herself. She wasn't crying, and he didn't know if he should take it as a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe this didn't hurt her as bad as he thought it would.

But the pain he felt inside of him was so overwhelmingly strong— yet he wasn't crying either.

He could tell the tremble in her lip was due to the freezing cold, a purple hue began to replace the usual pink and all he wanted to do was guide her inside somewhere warm and dry.

"Kai." Daisy spoke, and for a split second he felt a spark of hope. That somehow her words to follow would be those of forgiveness, or at least understanding. "If I see you again— if you—" Daisy redirects her train of thought. "If you touch me, or Josette again," she took a breath before speaking again, and her eyebrows were stitched together in what looked like worry, but her words told otherwise. "Believe me when I say I will kill you."

Kai's blood ran cold, and he felt his heart beat begin to pick up. This moment felt so familiar, like they'd done this all before. He hated that he couldn't ignore that although he felt this newfound feeling of guilt and hurt, that there was still a tinge of excitement that her words brought him. No merge could take that part of him away.

And she saw it, too. That sparkle in his eye that her threat brought. She wanted to kill him there and now, but knew she couldn't. At least, not right now. Not only because she knew fully well he had the high ground, but because she knew how much she loved him not ten minutes ago. It still lingered, though rapidly fading.

Kai stumbled back, reserving his sorrow for another time. She didn't want to hear anymore pleads or excuses, she wanted a fight. Maybe he'd give her one, eventually, it's worked in the past for them— it could work again. "You need me." He says, raising his voice, but for no reason other than the fact that the rain was too loud for her to hear him at a normal volume.

Daisy swallows, shaking her head as she eyes him. He'd lifted his chin slightly, as if to come off unfazed, but she saw right through it. "You need me." She corrects.

Kai runs his tongue over the bottom row of his teeth for a second, taking slow breaths to try to slow his rapid heart beat. She was right, in more ways than one, and he walked himself right into that.

Daisy knew there was nothing else that needed to be said, not from him at least. She felt her weight shifting backwards to where Josette lay only a few feet away, and as she began to turn— she felt a hand wrap around her arm.

She was pulled back towards him, and he had leaned down towards her with wide, angry eyes. He looked as if he had something to say— but when he met her eyes he couldn't get it out.

Daisy looks up at him, just as angry, as the cold rain ran down her cheeks. "What are you gonna do, Kai?" She whispers, as he was only inches away. "Kill me?"

Kai's eyebrows relaxed, and although she didn't break his eye contact she could see his shoulders fall, and he let go.

She held his gaze as he backed down, until she knew that when she turned around this time he wouldn't make another move, say another word.

And as soon as she spun back around to head towards Josette, her heart was filled with an immeasurable amount of pain, as she could physically feel that he had left. And once she was sure that that flicker of a connection had gone away, she turned back around— and he was gone.

Her mouth gapped open, and she felt her chest rack with a feeling that would usually follow with a loud cry— but no sound came out. Her hands found her lips, gently grazing them as if to keep any sobs inside.

She'd spun back around and rushed over to Josette, who had gracefully fallen down to due to whatever spell was put on her. Her arm was sprawled out under her head, thankfully blocking it from the injuries that would follow if it wasn't. Daisy bent down, shaking her shoulders that were draped in now soaking wet clothes. "Jo," Daisy spoke, she raised her head and looked around for any bystanders. "Josette, come on." She gently tapped her cheeks.

Daisy's eyes trailed down to the coat Josette wore, and she reached into one of the pockets. Nothing. She reached into the other and grabbed her phone. She sat back, wiping off the wet screen as best she could as she frantically searched through the contact list.

Only a few names she recognized. Her own, Elena, Damon, Kai, Alaric. She selected it and held it up to her ear, listening to the ring and hoping whatever damage rain could do to a cell phone, would not happen right now.

"Where are you?" Alaric asks, confused.

"It's Daisy, we're at—" Daisy looks up and frantically readjusts to her surroundings. "At the fountain in the center of town. Kai knocked her out with— with a spell or something, I don't know."

It was the truth, she didn't know. She didn't know anything about any of this. If Josette would wake up in thirty seconds or if she'd wake up in a year. If there was power great enough to live inside of her, power that brought healing to only one specific person— any and all ideas of the supernatural world that she had previously, were out the window now.

"I'll be there in two minutes." Alaric says, then hung up.

Daisy was relieved she didn't have to do anymore pleading, anymore convincing that this was the truth and wasn't some sort of trap. Maybe the genuine panic in her voice was more readable than she assumed.

She leaned back, knowing that she couldn't do anything until Alaric arrived. She wasn't sure what'd even do to help, but it brought her a little bit of comfort. She rubbed her throat, trying so desperately to ease the pain that grew inside it, the pain that usually followed with hysterical crying.

Daisy kept looking up and around, paranoid that he was still out there, waiting for her to be distracted so that he could— her train of thought stopped, and she let out a sob, one that she didn't even realize was creeping up. She covered her mouth tightly, remembering the feeling of waking up on the cold floor of the pantry of that club back in Portland. Tied up. Terrified, and confused.

Would he do that again? She wanted to think that after all these years, doing something like that again would be unfathomable for him. But if he was capable of lying to her like this all these years— she clearly didn't know him as well as she thought she did.

Daisy violently wiped the tears and rain off her face as headlights illuminated her skin. She looked up towards them, squinting. They were so bright, she couldn't see Alaric as he got out of the car, only the sound of the door opening and closing.

"What happened?!" He says, as he steps around the front his car. "What did you do?" He doesn't even glance at Daisy, just rushes over to Josette frantically.

"I didn't do anything." Daisy stands up and gets out of his way. She takes a breath, though she pretty much just inhales a gallon of water.

Alaric holds up Josette's head, then looks up and glances around. "Where is he?" He asks.

Daisy swallows. "He's gone. I don't know."

Alaric began to lift Josette up, he had one arm under her legs and another supporting her back. Daisy stood back and out of the way, but not because she didn't want to be in the way, but because she was too petrified to move. She didn't know if Josette was dead. If Kai really killed his twin sister.

"Will she be okay?" Daisy asked frantically as Alaric carried him back to the car.

"I don't know." Alaric says, setting Josette in the backseats, before walking back around to the drivers seat.

All Daisy could do was stand and watch. "Where are you taking her? To the hospital?" Daisy asks, then shakes her head. "He used magic, they can't—"

"I'm taking her home." Alaric says, before shutting the car door.

Daisy jumped at the sudden noise, before stepping back and watching as he drove away. As the truck went further and further out of view, she felt her surroundings begin to quiet, although the rain wasn't even beginning to let up. She heard only her staggered breaths, and the chattering of her teeth.

She looked around at all the buildings that surrounded her, dark and closed for the night. She had never felt more alone than she did right now, not even when she had the whole world to herself.

—

When he reappeared he didn't know where he was. He didn't focus his spell, and he knew that resulted in sloppy results. He tried to slow his own breathing as he gathered his surroundings. Though he could barely keep his heavy eyelids open, he realized he was in the middle of the road.

That realization hit when the sound of screeching tires filled his ears, and bright headlights clouded his vision. He knew the small car was headed right towards him, and considering the amount of water on the roads right now— if the driver slammed on the breaks he would inevitably be hit.

Kai closed his eyes. Even if he didn't focus his spell, there was a reason he ended up where he ended up.

The headlights got brighter as the got closer, and Kai squeezed his eyes shut tighter, waiting.

But it never came, all that came was the sound of an obnoxious voice yelling over the already obnoxious rain.

"What the hell are you doing in the middle of the road?!" The guy asks, leaning out of the car door.

Kai slowly reopened his eyes, sucking in a deep breath before turning to face the guy. He stared at him for a few moments, weighing his options. Then he began walking towards him, rubbing at his neck as he stretched it.

The guy hesitated, slowly starting to duck back into his car. Kai shook his head, frowning slightly, although the driver couldn't see really anything he was doing. "No, no." Kai says. "Don't."

The guy looked at Kai with a confused face, really regretting yelling at him right now. "Just— be careful, man." The guy says, quickly ducking back into his car before Kai could get any closer.

Kai had hurried towards the door before he could shut it, and before he knew it, the guy was torn out of his car and was begging dragged out into the road.

Kai flexed his fingers, knowing that if he was really here to kill he could do it in a split second, with the wave of the hand. But he knew his own urges too well, he knew what he wanted to do and how he wanted to it. He wanted to hurt someone, and this guy just happened to be the first available option.

Kai stepped on the guys throat, and was immediately met with the sounds of struggle that came from beneath him. He leaned down, making sure not to press down too hard, not wanting to end this interaction prematurely.

"I'm not a bad guy." Kai says, looking off into the dark woods surrounding him as he spoke his thoughts aloud. "I didn't tell her because I wanted to protect her." He swallows harshly. "That's all I've ever wanted. To keep her safe." He let out a small scoff. "If she knew— she'd leave and just— we need each other." He scratches his chin with his thumb, his eyes falling lifeless. They were looking into the woods, but not connecting with anything. His eyes were open, but they weren't seeing. "I didn't want to hurt you." He continued. "But I did all this to protect you."

He'd realized the sound of struggling beneath him had become white noise the moment it stopped. He looked down, to the dead man beneath his shoe. His face was red, along with the blood that spilled from his lips.

Kai was disappointed, not sure why he was pressing down so hard when he knew he had more planned. Maybe he got a bit carried away. He brushed a hand through his rain soaked hair, glancing around the empty road just to make sure there were no other onlookers, before getting in the car the man had just conveniently left for him.

—

There was an urgency to Daisy's steps that was warranted solely because of how absolutely freezing she was. She'd tried almost every door on the block, all of them closed and locked shut for the night. If she couldn't get somewhere warm, she at least had to try and shelter herself from the rain.

That's how she ended up in this dimly lit park bathroom. A stand-alone building made out of poorly insulated brick walls. There were two stalls, though only one of them had a door. She wasn't sure why she expected anything less than luxury for a park bathroom- but at least there was a roof over her head.

But the roof was tin. Making the rainfall ten times as louder as it echoed inside. She held her ears with her hands, so overwhelmed right now that if she didn't she thought she might explode.

Taking a breath, she walked over to the sinks, frantically grabbing for paper towels. But there were none, and even if there were any, she would not be surprised if they were as thin as bible paper and as un-absorbing as plastic. She hit the dispenser frustratedly, like that would make the non-existent paper towels appear.

She quickly ripped off her sopping wet coat. It had added about twenty pounds to her own weight, and as it fell to the ground with a thud she only felt colder.

She rubbed her eyes, taking deep breaths to try and calm down every single one of her senses. She felt like she was getting pushed around in every direction. Like every physical feeling she was having right now wasn't a reaction to the weather, or the fact that she was in a this disgusting bathroom, but because she was scared, and angry, and hurt. Daisy held on to both sides of the sink to keep her balance, and she closed her eyes.

She questioned everything. Every moment, every memory, every conversation. She couldn't muster how someone could do this to someone else for so long. Especially when they claimed to have loved them, too.

She knew he loved her. That was maybe the only thing keeping her sane right now. He loved her, but in his own twisted, altered way that fit how he thought love worked. Not the way it should've.

She lifted her head up slowly towards the mirror in front of her, examining her face. Purple lips, puffy eyes. However her skin was flawless, no scars. She really didn't have to question where they went, maybe a part of her knew all along that he took them. But it was the fact that he saved them, kept them on her cheeks and over her eyes for so long- so that maybe some day, when he was really sick, or really hurt, he'd have something to heal. Something to save him.

She lifted her shirt, examining her stomach, searching for any remnants of the massive scar from when she plunged a knife in her own stomach, and gave herself the most botched set of stitches she'd ever seen. But there was nothing there.

Maybe it had faded over time, and she'd never even noticed. She'd forgotten it was even there until just now. Or maybe he healed it himself, one day without her knowledge.

She thought of the day they'd escaped the Algeans. The day he took her to the hospital and begged her to let him heal her. Told her she was being stubborn, that these injuries were too large to let go unmanaged.

He knew how much magic had been used against her fully well. But he was too power hungry to let that stop him.

She considered the possibility that maybe he wanted her to find them. He wanted her to get strung up and tortured for months, just so when he saved her— he'd have all these pent up wounds to heal. To take magic from, to take power from.

He wouldn't do that. Would he?

Before she knew it, her fist had collided with the mirror in front of her, and the glass shattered. She was startled by her own movements, at how sudden and uncontrolled they were. She didn't even think about it, she just acted.

She grabbed her wrist, examining her now sliced up hand and wincing. And as much as it burned, as much as it hurt, it wasn't enough to kill her. Wasn't enough to stop her heart beat, to slow her breathing.

She quickly latched onto one of the glass shards that landed in the sink. The edges immediately sliced open her palm, but she brought it to her neck, letting a pointy edge rest against her skin.

She stared at herself in what was left of the mirror, seeing her wide open eyes stare back at her, terrified of what she was and what she had become. Her breathing was staggered, a result of her trembling body.

The glass slicing against her neck would be nothing. She'd felt things similar several times before. But this was much more terrifying, knowing that it wouldn't end her life.

Most people would see it as a gift, immortality, or whatever this curse was. She tried to see it that way, but could only view it as another prison. She'd done immortality, she'd lived it for decades, and she thought getting out of there meant her sentence was over. It would never be over.

She dropped the glass into the sink, letting out a frustrated scream as the blood from her hand dropped onto the white ceramic.

How quickly her love turned to hate, as if she didn't even fight it. Only a lover could wound so deep, cut to the very core. That level of trauma has to be an inside job. He broke her and watched her bleed.

a/n
sorry