The team of boys sat in silence, each one of them crying whilst all but one of them were feeling a mixture of several emotions at once. Their lack of words being a result of it.

"what- what happened to him..?" Noya asked in a shaky tone, being the first to break the silence

"What do you mean by 'what happened', we barely even knew the guy if this is really how he felt-!" Tanaka snapped, feeling just as hurt as anyone else in the room. "He-he was my Kohai..I-I let this happen to him. N-now before someone interrupts, I know he said not to blame ourselves and to move on...but I-I can't" He continued, tears still pouring out of his eyes

"I should've known something was up when he started teaching me all these knew spikes, qu-quick ones for that. A-and when I was finally able to do the spike..he thanked me. I-I stupidly b-brushed it off, but now that I think about it, if I had just not been able to do it- if I had just fucking sucked at doing it- he would still be here" Tanaka wasn't sure whether he was laughing or crying at his own stupidity, shaking his head as he looked at the floor, his tears having created a small puddle beneath himself.

The words Tanaka said hurt, hearing him speak about it hurt. But what hurt him the most was the fact that Tanaka was being serious about blaming himself, even though Kageyama knew that he was really the one to blame here. "Tanaka would you quit it-! With the whole 'what if' bullshit!" He snapped, gaining everyone's attention.

They were more than shocked to hear the words come from someone like Kageyama, he never really was the one to show such an emotion emotion unless it was towards volleyball. "He's fucking gone, any what ifs are a waste of all of our time. You can't change what Hinata did to himself, no one can. So just mourning on what you could've done differently wont help."

"Kage-" "No! All of you, now! Stop thinking about what ifs. Stop blaming yourself because it won't do anything!" Kageyama finally looked up at all of them, his eyes and cheeks as sore as ever as tears continued to pour out of his eyes "But if you're really held up on blaming someone- if for some reason you just need to have someone to blame, then blame me. I let this happen to him. I was the one who promised he'd never be alone again, that I'd never fucking leave him-!" He snapped at all of them, choking on his broken sobs as the team just watched in shock as he forced himself to speak

"If I wasn't so- so me then he would be here right now, we'd all be practising and everything would fucking be okay! But it's not and nothing any of us can say or do will change that!" And then the room fell silent again, everyone just looking at him in shock, some in confusion and even in anger that he'd do that to himself.

Kiyoko reached over to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder, making Kageyama flinch and snap at her "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME-!" Before he knew what he'd even said and done, he got up and ran out of the gym, not even changing his clothes but instead grabbing them and running out of school grounds.

He felt as if he stayed around them for even a second longer he would've exploded into a fit of anger, even more than he already had.

Then he stopped.

He had been running for so long he didn't even notice where he was until he finally opened his eyes properly.

Light bounced off of the tears that continued to roll down his cheeks as he looked at where the light morning sun was reflecting from, a puddle outside of an abandoned house...his and Hinatas spot.

Where Hinata once joked about fixing it up and living there with him one day, get a garden behind it so that they could always practise volleyball together without even having to leave the house.

It was quite closed off for the town he was currently in, it was why they both liked it so much.

Kageyama then collapsed, falling onto his knees as he leaned forwards onto the floor "Why did you have to fucking leave me-?!" he practically yelled out, not caring about anyone that could hear him "We- we were going to go to nationals together! What about that-? One day we would stand opposite sides of the court and I was supposed to beat your ass! What about that?! We were fucking supposed to rebuild this house..make it our home together! Why- why did you leave me...?"

He was breathless, almost lost for words at this point. He didn't know what to do..what to say, so he just laid there, holding his own head as he cried into the palm of his hands, wishing things went differently.

---------------

When Kageyama stormed out the gym everyone decided it was best if they left as well, all of them changing and quickly cleaning up before leaving.